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Ever feel like you’re getting it wrong more than you’re getting it right?
Parenting Imperfection: Grace, Mistakes, and Family Culture
No parent gets it perfect.
What shapes a family isn’t the absence of mistakes, it’s how repair, grace, and accountability are modeled inside the home.
Your children don’t need flawless.
They need consistency, humility, and the experience of repair.
What kind of family culture are you building when things don’t go as planned?
#adaptablebehaviorexplained #parentingwithgrace #familyculture #adaptablebehaviorexplained
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0:00
The beautiful thing is that they get to
0:01
make those mistakes with you as a child.
0:04
Sure.
0:04
Rather than an adult where the
0:06
repercussions may be more severe. So
0:08
saying, you know, hey, this is what
0:11
happened. Maybe you did something at
0:13
school. You didn't do your homework. You
0:15
maybe did an unkind thing to another
0:16
student. Maybe they talked back to you
0:19
because they're also going through their
0:21
own thing. It's it's giving space. It's
0:23
saying, "Okay, I'm feeling something
0:24
coming up in me. I'm seeing something
0:27
come up in you. We're going to take a
0:29
break. how about 10 minutes or maybe we
0:31
circle back tomorrow because this is
0:33
it's it's hard and especially if you're
0:35
living in that family system, you know,
0:37
and if you don't really have very many
0:39
people to defer to, it's constant. It's
0:41
constant interaction, constant um
0:44
triggering, right? You know, it's it's
0:46
kind of like when you think about atoms
0:48
and how they're just kind of those
0:50
molecules moving around.
0:51
That's a great metaphor for a family
0:54
system. And then sometimes, yeah,
0:56
they bounce off of one another and
0:57
there's not really a rhyme or a reason
0:59
often times that's predictable. For
1:01
sure.
1:01
Yeah. Honoring those I would say, and
1:03
then having something that's just for
1:05
you. So whether that's a hobby, whether
1:08
it's connecting with friends, even I
1:10
have a couple of friends that every four
1:12
to 6 months I see. It's not often, but
1:15
you know what? We pick up where we left
1:16
off and we kind of give each other the
1:19
rundown of like the the house is on
1:21
fire. You know, the chaos that's going
1:23
on in the background and then it's,
1:27
you know,
1:27
it's being validated. It's being felt.
1:29
And it's, you know, a lot of people
1:31
don't like the word pity, but it's
1:32
actually a synonym for compassion. And
1:34
we have to have compassion for self when
1:36
is just hard. And especially when
1:39
we didn't do anything to cause it and
1:41
we're still there to weather the storm.
1:43
And so, we have to sit down. We have to
1:45
have our pity party. We have to cry. We
1:47
have to take our moments. And also
1:49
reaching out and cultivating connection
1:51
with others if not for the solution just
1:53
to be felt in that space is so necessary
1:57
and and really really helpful to have
1:59
somewhere to download.
2:00
Absolutely. Even I have a friend who she
2:03
lives out of state and we send memes
2:05
back and forth and that's our love
2:06
language you know but it's a way for us
2:08
to connect and you know get out what it
2:10
is that we're going through and having
2:12
someone in your corner in that way that
2:14
you know maybe isn't present but they're
2:15
rooting for you that can speak volumes
2:17
as well and that can give great capacity
2:20
for waking up every day and saying I
2:23
have to attend this show again.
2:24
Right. Yeah. Here we go.
2:26
Yeah. Right. And and we're going to fall
2:28
short. We're going to make mistakes. And
2:30
you mentioned before, you know, when
2:31
your kids mess up, showing up with
2:33
grace, showing up with, you know, an
2:35
opportunity to model for them, you know,
2:38
imperfections
2:40
expected if not certain.
2:42
And and that we need to be able to give
2:45
them
2:46
room
2:47
to fall down and to make mistakes and to
2:49
model for them acceptance, unconditional
2:52
acceptance even when they make mistakes.
2:54
And so, of course, it's harder when we
2:56
get stuck in that perfectionism loop
2:58
when we're a parent. And especially,
3:00
like I said before, you know, you you've
3:02
read the books, you know the rules, and
3:04
yet you're still human with that amydala
3:06
that gets activated because of the
3:08
stimulus in your home and the
3:09
interactions and the conflict and all of
3:11
those things. And so, how do you deal
3:14
with personally those moments of where
3:16
we fall down? You know, in Berne Brown's
3:18
work, we're in the arena for you. You're
3:20
in the arena of parenting every day, all
3:22
day. There's no reprieve from that. And
3:25
when we fall down, we're going to get
3:27
our ass kicked. We're gonna we're gonna
3:28
fall short. We're gonna have those times
3:30
of mistakes and and problems. What do
3:33
you do to navigate those moments of
3:35
falling short or the mistakes? So I
3:38
think you know before doing that it's
3:40
about cultivating a certain type of uh
3:43
culture within your family system as
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