0:00
Inside alone won't turn the fear off,
0:03
but there is hope. In inside out, uh,
0:06
joy can't logic fear into calm. And you
0:08
hear her try. The system changes through
0:10
experience, not explanation. Back to Dr.
0:13
Vanderolk, he talks about if trauma is
0:16
preverbal, it lives in the body, not the
0:19
narrative. So, this is what we would
0:20
call implicit trauma, uh, rather than
0:22
explicit. that's tied to all of the
0:24
things that happen in our older selves
0:27
where we can see and remember
0:29
experiences. And then this is why people
0:31
can understand their trauma. They can
0:34
name their triggers, but they can still
0:36
feel hijacked by fear. And this is what
0:39
makes people so frustrated. But fear is
0:42
a bottom up process, and healing must
0:45
meet it here. So, I'm not going to dig
0:47
in so deeply to all the different types
0:49
of bottomup therapies, but I have a
0:52
whole episode on how to heal trauma. So,
0:54
I would check that out and that'll be
0:57
down in the show notes as well because
0:58
that's a nice sister companion to this
1:00
episode. But when you think about fear
1:03
and teaching fear that it's safe now
1:05
does take some work. So, healing fear is
1:08
not about eliminating it. It's about
1:09
rightsizing it and making it understand
1:11
that now is not then. So some effective
1:14
approaches that are beneficial is
1:17
regulation before processing. Safety
1:20
comes first. So we have to recognize
1:22
that we have to breathe. We have to slow
1:24
down because safety doesn't necess we
1:27
don't know that we're safe unless we do
1:28
that first. So this is about sematic
1:30
awareness. This is about learning to
1:32
notice sensations without panic or
1:35
without judgment. This is about just
1:37
present awareness, connecting to, like I
1:39
gave the example, recognizing that I had
1:42
a burst of adrenaline. My heart rate
1:43
went up, my muscles tightened when my
1:45
son was pretending like he was going to
1:47
throw me in the water. Um, it's just a
1:49
sematic awareness of what's happening
1:51
and allowing or completing a defensive
1:54
response, allowing fight or flight or
1:57
freeze energy to gently resolve. And so
2:00
this is tracking that energy that
2:03
happens in the body when we are
2:05
activated by fear. And so the other
2:08
thing that benefits fear and settles
2:10
fear down is predictable environments
2:12
and relationships. So consistent
2:14
routines, kids that are anxious or
2:17
overstimulated and don't have consistent
2:19
routines. This is one of the first
2:20
things we talk to parents about like is
2:22
bedtime the same every night? Do we know
2:24
we can count on, you know, all the
2:26
things that kids need to be consistent
2:28
because their nervous systems will
2:30
settle down? Boundaries, we need to have
2:32
those for ourselves and for those around
2:34
us so that we can have a more
2:36
predictable environment. And consistency
2:38
in our relationships is really
2:40
important. That helps us feel safe in
2:42
the now, so that we're not anxious and
2:44
fearful. And then relational healing
2:47
really helps fear heal faster. So if you
2:51
have someone that you trust, who you
2:53
feel in connection with, you have safe
2:55
connection with, your anxiety and fear
2:57
healing will be more expeditious than if
3:00
you're in isolation. Fear learned
3:02
through repetition and experience, not
3:05
willpower. And so fear's got a job to
3:08
do. It's here to keep us safe. And
3:10
sometimes if it's an overdrive, it's too
3:12
much of a good thing. And so we have to
3:15
integrate our fear. And like Inside Out,
3:18
fear integrates into the system. And
3:20
that's what we need to do for ourselves
3:22
if we feel like fear is driving our
3:24
life. And so I want you to hear this
3:27
clearly. If you are feeling like that,
3:30
your nervous system is not broken. Fear
3:32
is just stuck in the on position because
3:35
it once kept you alive. It kept you
3:37
connected or it kept you protected. And
3:39
healing isn't about silencing fear. It's
3:42
about teaching your body that the danger
3:44
has passed, that it's over, that you're
3:47
you're in the now, not the then. and it
3:49
doesn't have to do this alone anymore.
3:51
You don't need to fire fear. You don't
3:52
need to kick it out or put it in the
3:54
trunk. You just need to let it rest. So
3:57
hopefully this helps you better
3:58
understand the biology of fear and how
4:01
it's really trying to just protect you
4:03
from danger. Thank you so much for
4:05
tuning in to Adaptable today. If you
4:07
found this episode helpful, please give
4:09
us a subscribe. Uh most of our watch
4:11
hours are not uh by subscribed viewers.
4:14
So, if you're watching and you're
4:15
interested, please go ahead and
4:16
subscribe, like, or share the show with
4:19
someone that it might help. And until we
4:21
meet again, don't forget to lead with
4:23
love. It'll never steer you
