0:00
And when that happens, the prefrontal
0:01
cortex struggles to regulate because
0:03
it's not active. And the body remains in
0:06
that state of readiness. It's like
0:08
scanning all the time. And so this is
0:10
why people often say, "I know that I'm
0:13
safe, but I don't feel safe." That's not
0:15
resistance. That's not denial. That is
0:18
just biology. So like Fear in the Inside
0:20
Out movie, never leaving the chair even
0:22
when the room is quiet. And so it's
0:25
maladaptive memory encoding. It's stored
0:28
in trauma time. So when the past lives
0:31
in the present, this is a time
0:33
orientation issue in trauma. And so one
0:36
of the most important trauma concepts is
0:38
maladaptive memory encoding. When danger
0:41
happens without resolution, without
0:44
protection, without choice, so there's
0:47
powerlessness or without support, the
0:49
memory is stored without a time stamp.
0:52
It's live. It's like ongoing. And so the
0:55
nervous system doesn't encode that it
0:57
happened then, that it's over,
1:00
that we don't need to be afraid anymore.
1:03
It encodes this could happen again. In
1:05
fact, it likely will happen again, so we
1:08
better be ready for it. So, what we end
1:10
up having is a tone of voice or facial
1:13
expression or a slammed door or a
1:16
deadline or a raised eyebrow or any of
1:19
those things can activate that same fear
1:22
response as the original threat when it
1:24
happened in the first place. So, in
1:27
Inside Out, when Riley's core memories
1:29
shift, her entire emotional world
1:32
reorganizes. And in humans, trauma
1:35
reshapes our emotional islands, for lack
1:37
of a better word. also to trust,
1:40
connection, safety, and identity. Fear
1:43
isn't reacting to now. It's responding
1:45
to unresolved then when it's stuck in
1:48
the on position. Now, it doesn't mean
1:50
we're not going to be afraid for a
1:51
moment. In fact, I've got a funny story.
1:54
The other day, u my youngest son and I,
1:56
we were walking down the dock where we
1:57
keep our boat, and he joked and he acted
2:00
like he was going to push me in the
2:01
water, and he didn't. But my response to
2:04
him was, "All systems are working." and
2:07
he just laughed at me. And what that was
2:09
was that was me saying I felt the
2:11
adrenaline of the fear in that moment
2:13
like I was going to end up in the ocean,
2:15
but then it calmed down. And that's how
2:17
I knew that I was anxious about almost
2:19
getting pushed in the water or being
2:21
afraid that I might get pushed in the
2:22
water. And he said to me, "Oh my gosh,
2:24
it's such a funny way that you said that
2:27
because I just went, "All my systems are
2:28
working." Because I felt that rush. So
2:30
anyways, trauma is what happened and
2:33
what didn't happen. So, it's not just
2:35
the things that we went through, it's
2:37
also what support we didn't get when the
2:40
thing happened. One of my favorite
2:42
people that I follow about this topic is
2:44
Dr. Gabbor Mate, and he reminds us that
2:48
trauma is not the bad thing that
2:49
happened most of the time. It's the
2:52
disconnection with the people that were
2:54
supposed to keep us safe and supported
2:56
that happened inside of us. And so fear
2:58
often develops not from one dramatic or
3:02
drastic event, but from chronic
3:04
emotional neglect, inconsistent
3:07
caregivers, um living with
3:10
having to suppress emotions to stay
3:12
connected because our emotions were too
3:14
overwhelming to the people around us. Or
3:17
when no one helps a child regulate, fear
3:19
becomes the regulator. So in the movie
3:21
Inside Out, when joy and sadness are
3:24
gone, fear and anger run the system. And
3:26
that's not dysfunction, that's survival.
3:29
And so when you think of people that you
3:30
know or even maybe yourself, if you're
3:32
someone who's chronically angry or
3:35
chronically anxious or fearful, this is
3:37
what your body is doing for you because
3:39
you didn't have adults to help you
3:41
regulate your system. And fear steps up
3:43
when there's connection that's missing.
3:45
It's just how we survive. So now we're
3:48
going to talk about how chronic fear
3:50
shows up in adult life. When fear lives
3:53
at the control panel for us, it doesn't
3:55
always look like panic.
