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First Love Yourself: The relationship that shapes every other relationship
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Hello. I welcome you to this space today
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with lots of compassion, kindness,
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and love as we explore.
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Ideas that will empower us to grow
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individually
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and become better version of ourselves.
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I want to begin today with a question.
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Not a question about your career, not a
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question about your relationship
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and not equally a question about your
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achievements.
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A much deeper question.
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What is your relationship with yourself?
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Like
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by this I'm not asking
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about what you tell others,
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not what you post online,
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not the version others see.
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When you are alone with your thought,
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how do you speak to yourself?
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How do you treat yourself after a
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mistake?
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How do you respond
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when you when you are struggling?
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How do you support yourself when life
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becomes difficult?
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Because many people spend years looking
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for love, approval, understanding and
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validation from others while neglecting
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the relationship that will that they
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will have for their entire lives,
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the relationship with themselves.
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Yes, the relationship with yourself
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is that relationship you will have for
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your entire life.
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And what if the the the the love you
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keep searching for externally begins
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with the way you learn to relate to
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yourself internally.
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Today we are exploring what
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it truly means to love yourself first.
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Not because we are arrogant but deeply,
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honestly,
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compassionately.
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Now the the the biggest misunderstanding
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about self love
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is when we hear the phrase love yourself
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we often imagine confidence.
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Many of us imagine someone who always
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feels good about himself or herself.
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Someone who never struggles with doubt.
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someone who is constantly positive. But
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real self love is not really about
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feeling amazing every day. Self love is
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a relationship
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you create with yourself.
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Every healthy relationship contains
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understanding,
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patience,
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compassion, honesty, forgiveness,
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and most importantly, commitment.
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Think about someone you truly love.
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Do you only care about them when they
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succeed?
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Do you abandon them when they make
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mistakes?
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Do you insult them when they struggle?
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Probably not.
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Yet, many people treat themselves in
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ways they will never treat someone they
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care about. They criticize themselves
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harshly, punish them themselves with
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imperfections,
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dismiss their their emotions and
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opinion,
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ignore their need and then wonder why
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they feel disconnected from themselves.
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Self love begins when you stop becoming
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your own enemy.
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And the question I want us to look at is
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this. Why do many people struggle loving
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themselves?
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The truth is that most people were never
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taught how to love themselves.
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Many were taught how to perform.
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And this I know for truth according to
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clinical psychology they were taught how
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to achieve, how to please, how to meet
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expectation
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but do not but not really how to value
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themselves beyond what they accomplish,
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what they can get. Some people learn I
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am learned I am loving when I or some
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people learn I am lovable when I
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succeed. I am worthy when I make others
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happy. I matter when I am useful. I
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deserve acceptance when I meet
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expectations.
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Over time, love becomes conditional and
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the person begins chasing worthiness
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instead of recognizing it. This creates
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exhaustion
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because no achievement can permanently
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feel the space where self acceptance is
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missing. You can receive praise and
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still feel empty.
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You can succeed and still feel
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inadequate.
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You can be loved by others and still
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struggle to love yourself because self
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love is an inside relationship
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and this relationship
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is built by you.
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No other external accomplishment can
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fully replace it.
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Now let's take this exercise to support
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us. The mirror exercise.
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Imagine standing in front of a mirror.
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Not looking at your appearance.
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Looking at your humanity,
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looking at the person who has lived
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through every experience you have ever
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had. The person who survived difficult
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days. The person who kept growing
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through uncertainty. The person who
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carried pain nobody fully understood.
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The person who learned, adapted, failed,
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rose and continued. Now ask yourself,
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when was the last time I appreciated
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that person,
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when was the last time I acknowledged
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their effort?
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When was the last time I offered
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compassion instead of criticism?
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Many people spend their lives waiting
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for someone else to recognize their
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value.
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But healing often begin when you become
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willing to recognize it yourself.
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And you know it is is not going to
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happen because you are perfect but
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because
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your word was never depending on
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perfection. Did you hear that? Your
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value
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was never
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dependent
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on perfection.
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Now let's look at this what self love
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actually look looks like
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self love is not a feeling it is a
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practice
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let me take it over
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self love is not how you feel
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it is how you practice
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sometimes Self love looks like a rest.
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Sometime it looks like
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boundaries. Sometime it looks like
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asking for help. Sometime
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it looks like saying no. Sometimes it
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looks like forgiveness.
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Sometime it looks like walking away from
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what harms you.
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Other time it looks like allowing
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yourself to grow without constantly
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punishing yourself for not being further
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ahead.
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Self love asks
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what do I need right now?
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Not from the stand of selfishness
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but from a place of self-awareness
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because people who ignore their own
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needs eventually
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become emotionally depleted.
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You cannot continuously pour from an
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empty cup.
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You deserve the same care, patience and
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compassion.
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You often offer others
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and know that by doing this you are not
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selfish.
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Now
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what we have to do in order to come to
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this place of practicing self love
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consciously and consistently is
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releasing self-rejection
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because the opposite of self love is
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selfrejection.
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Now I want you to imagine sitting
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down
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that is setting down something heavy.
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The burden of constantly feeling not
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enough. The burden of self judgment. The
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weight of comparing yourself to
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impossible standards.
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That is the burden of believing you must
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earn your value.
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Take a slow breath in.
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And as you exhale,
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imagine releasing that weight,
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take it the second time.
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As you exhale, imagine releasing the
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weight.
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Take it at a time.
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Exhale the weight.
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You do not have to become a different
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person to deserve kindness.
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You do not have to prove your humanity.
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You do not have to achieve perfection
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before offering yourself compassion.
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Quietly repeat this or you repeat it
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aloud whichever resonates with you. You
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can place your right hand
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on your heart area
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and do this. I release the belief that I
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am not enough.
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I I release constant criticism.
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I allow myself to be human.
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I choose compassion over judgment.
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Now taking a slow deep breath in,
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let these words settle gently within
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you.
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Now let's take a new commitment
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to yourself. Now imagine making a simple
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commitment.
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This is not a commitment to perfection.
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It is not a commitment to never
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struggle.
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It is a commitment to stay connected to
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yourself. To become someone who supports
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yourself instead of abandoning yourself,
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to become someone who listens to
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yourself, encourages yourself, forgives
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yourself, believes in your capacity to
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grow. Because self love is not built in
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a simp simple moment. It is
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built in daily small choices,
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small moments, moments of kindness,
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small moments of awareness, small
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moments of returning to yourself again
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and again
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builds self- loveve.
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Nobody can give you self love and this
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is the only thing you can give to
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yourself.
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Now as we close today, remember this.
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The longest relationship you will ever
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have is the relationship with yourself.
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You will carry yourself throughout every
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season, every success, every
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disappointment, every beginning, every
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ending. So make that relationship a
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nurturing one, a compassionate one, a
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support, a supportive one. You do not
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need to wait for the world to fully
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understand your value before recognizing
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yourself. You do not need to wait for
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someone else to love you before learning
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how to love yourself because self love
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is not
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that that you don't you will not take it
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to say I have come to the end. It is a
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foundation and when that foundation
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becomes stronger everything else in life
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begins to rest upon something more
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stable. So today, choose one simple act
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of kindness towards yourself, one moment
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of patience, one moment of compassion,
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one moment of acceptance,
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and let that be the beginning of a
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deeper relationship with a person who
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has been with you all along. Yes, you.
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Thank you for being in this space with
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me. I hope you were blessed by this
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episode. Share this with someone.
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Subscribe, like. Till next time.
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