Up next in 10
Join Sway In The Morning for an enlightening conversation with David Webber as he shares his keys to moving forward after trauma. In this exclusive interview, Webber dives into the power of mental health counseling, the importance of self-compassion, and how to detach from past identities to embrace growth. With a focus on actionable advice, he discusses overcoming negative cycles, setting boundaries, and fostering positivity in your life.
This inspiring conversation touches on themes of personal transformation, forgiveness, and resilience, offering valuable insights for anyone dealing with challenges in their journey. David Weber’s wisdom, combined with Sway’s signature style of engaging dialogue, makes this a must-watch.
Don’t miss this powerful episode! Subscribe to Sway’s Universe for more exclusive interviews and dynamic discussions about mental health, hip-hop, and culture. Follow Sway’s Universe on social media for updates and join the community for more transformative content. #DavidWeber #SwayInTheMorning #MentalHealth #PersonalGrowth #Forgiveness #SwaysUniverse
#self-compassion #traumarecovery #personalgrowth #healingprocess #movingforwardaftertrauma
CHAPTERS:
00:00 - Intro
05:48 - Healthy Communication Habits
07:45 - Signs of Unhealthy Talking
13:16 - Letting Go of Old Identity
16:40 - Dwayne from Houston
20:50 - Tasha from Wisconsin
25:44 - Don from Indiana
28:27 - Healing Power of Sad Music
31:24 - Importance of Self-Forgiveness
33:18 - Gratitude and Closing Remarks
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0:00
What's up y'all?
0:00
>> Thanks for joining us today. Everybody
0:02
good. You good? House of Family Dave.
0:04
>> Everyone's great.
0:05
>> The parents listening this morning?
0:06
>> They in the car right now.
0:09
>> Wait, where's the hookup for the house?
0:11
>> Yo, did I not give you
0:13
>> No, that's just, you know,
0:14
>> they're just going to sit in the car
0:15
anyway.
0:16
>> They just That's just
0:17
>> I don't know if I want mom in the car. I
0:19
know
0:19
>> it's about to get cold and they get
0:21
cold. You know,
0:22
>> they don't care.
0:22
>> Nah, if it's snow, your pops is going to
0:25
make his wife get in the car.
0:26
>> That's a good You know what? You about
0:27
to start some stuff. They listening
0:29
right now.
0:31
>> Mr. and Mrs. Dub, get in the house, man.
0:33
Sweat got the hook up here. Sirius, we
0:35
got you, Mr. and Mrs. Dub.
0:37
>> You know, I'mma buy y'all some gloves,
0:38
though, just in case, you know. But u
0:41
Oh, no. But, uh, you beautiful people,
0:42
man. I love your family and I can't wait
0:45
for the invite.
0:46
>> Um,
0:47
>> that's how you added that? Did you want
0:48
an invite
0:49
>> for the food? You know,
0:50
>> always, you know, I just got to see what
0:53
it's like, man.
0:54
>> Which house will we eat in?
0:56
>> Like, if I What? Whose house am I going
0:58
to when?
0:59
>> That's a good question.
1:00
>> Yeah,
1:00
>> that's a good question. My parents come,
1:02
they getting ready to come to Atlanta in
1:04
a couple weeks. So,
1:05
>> Chris house.
1:05
>> Yeah. So, you know, you welcome there.
1:08
We going to have a bunch of food for
1:09
sure.
1:09
>> All right. Get down,
1:10
>> David. He's really going to call you.
1:12
>> Yeah, I know. It's all good.
1:14
>> You're welcome though. They It'll be
1:15
fun.
1:16
>> I met I met his parents. I met I met
1:18
your mom. I feel like Well, she was
1:19
there that day we we came out, right?
1:21
She may She may not remember me, but
1:24
>> she'll be No, she know who you are. So,
1:25
>> okay, cool, man. I I won't I won't spend
1:27
the whole conversation on your parents.
1:29
I just love
1:30
>> a couple that how many years
1:32
>> they've been married 54
1:35
>> 54 years.
1:37
>> That man give him a big round.
1:40
>> That's beautiful. 54 years.
1:43
>> The only other people I knew to be
1:45
married that long were my grandparents.
1:47
And so, and I just saw a relationship
1:50
that lasts that long is different from
1:52
one that lasts 20, 30, 40, 50 something
1:55
years.
1:56
>> For sure. And I've seen it grow, too.
1:58
I've seen them I've seen them grow for
1:59
sure.
2:00
>> So, to me, that was at a time where
2:03
people got married probably in their
2:04
20s, like very early, right? Yeah. Um,
2:08
>> like 71 19.
2:10
>> They got married in uh 71.
2:11
>> Yeah. Right.
2:12
>> Yeah. And they that people just don't do
2:15
that kind of stuff anymore. Like even
2:17
for me, if one of my nieces at 20 or 21
2:20
came to me and said, "I'm getting
2:22
married." I was like, "For what?
2:23
>> You're too young, right?
2:24
>> You're too young." But it was such
2:26
common practice with your grandparents
2:27
age. They had to have gotten married in
2:29
their early 20s.
2:30
>> No, they were very young when they got
2:31
married. Um from the south, you know, um
2:34
and they migrated to the west coast from
2:36
Louisiana.
2:37
>> Uh my grandfather was very precocious at
2:40
a young age, a very mature man who was
2:42
driving a car at early teens. And you
2:45
know my grandmother was a very
2:47
sophisticated and you know very uh
2:50
>> very pristine and stickler for education
2:53
and she was u a director for the toast
2:56
mistress organization and did all of
2:58
these
2:59
>> social uh not elite but but was you know
3:02
uh social events that would bring people
3:04
together empowerment events and so the
3:07
two of them were amazing but I could I
3:09
didn't witness any of turbulence
3:13
>> right but I'm Sure. In their 50 plus
3:15
years of marriage,
3:16
>> there was a lot of turbulence
3:18
>> in in cycles or not even in cycles but
3:21
at different points of their
3:22
relationship, right?
3:23
>> Um did you witness any turbulence?
3:25
>> No, for sure.
3:26
>> For sure. But but the commitment to one
3:28
another never changed. You know what I
3:30
mean?
3:30
>> Um my father is a
3:32
>> you know he's he's my hero for sure.
3:36
>> He um the hardest working person, the
3:38
smartest person I know. My mother was
3:40
educated, so she did school and got her
3:43
masters and those types of things. But
3:44
my my father was,
3:46
>> like I said, he's the smartest person
3:47
I've ever met in my life, just from a,
3:50
you know, like a life, you know, what to
3:51
do in life and how to move about life.
3:53
His fa his famous line is, uh,
3:56
>> if you don't think for yourself,
3:57
somebody else will think for you. Now,
3:58
that sounds very simple,
4:00
>> right? If you don't think for yourself,
4:02
somebody else will think for you. Sounds
4:04
simple, but as I've gotten older in
4:06
life, um, it's the truth. other people
4:09
make decisions for you. You end up
4:10
follow following people around and doing
4:12
what they do. You don't go with the the
4:14
Joneses and and whatever whatever
4:16
society says is right or whatever
4:18
society says to do, you do. So, if you
4:20
don't think for yourself, somebody else
4:22
going they going to be thinking for you.
4:23
>> I love that. That's actually part of the
4:26
problem that I have, one of the biggest
4:27
problems that I have with liars and
4:29
manipulators because I feel like
4:32
>> when you don't tell me the truth or
4:33
you're manipulating, you're you decided
4:35
something already for me. you didn't
4:37
give me the opportunity to make a
4:39
decision based on
4:41
>> the reality. You know, you manipulated
4:43
or you you told the untruth and that's
4:45
the biggest issue that I have. You
4:46
decided for me already, you know, and um
4:49
always had an issue with that. So, shout
4:51
out to your father. That is wise words
4:52
from a wise man.
4:53
>> Say their names. The Webbers or
4:55
>> Yeah.
4:56
>> Yeah. Doris and Macy Weber.
4:57
>> Okay. George and Macy.
4:59
>> Doris and Macy.
5:00
>> What?
5:00
>> Doris and Macy. Doris and Macy.
5:03
>> Your father's name is Macy.
5:04
>> His name is Macy. Chris's name is Macy.
5:07
I didn't know that.
5:08
>> Yeah.
5:08
>> So, you're not in the family like you
5:10
thought.
5:10
>> I'm just respectful. I would have had I
5:12
would have called him Mr. Weber.
5:14
>> Yeah.
5:14
>> Thank you. Just out of respect.
5:16
>> You could have read Chris's bio and
5:17
found all of that out though. Sway.
5:20
>> Yo, no, Macy is a uh
5:23
>> Macy is a old school name. Damn. A man
5:26
named Macy.
5:27
>> Macy. Yeah. And if I have a daughter one
5:29
day, which is hopefully uh I'm going to
5:31
name her I'm going name her Macy.
5:34
>> What's wrong? You you said hopefully you
5:35
shooting blanks.
5:36
>> No.
5:37
>> Wow. In front of his parents. Oh, my
5:39
bad. My bad. My bad. All right.
5:40
>> All this talk about respect. Don't
5:42
invite him to your house. Sorry, sorry,
5:45
Webbers. All right. We going to
5:48
>> We going to come back with David Weber
5:51
if you have any questions in and around
5:53
mental health.
5:54
>> Yeah.
5:54
>> Um please call up and I'mma ask you a
5:56
question that I've been thinking about
5:59
when it applies to this industry we're
6:01
in. Okay. So call us up 8887423345.
6:06
Wow, that's the voice of the one and
6:08
only David Weber. Uh like I said, he has
6:10
a master's degree in clinical mental
6:12
health counseling from Northwestern. Uh
6:14
I want to open up the phone lines. A lot
6:16
of us uh deal with mental health issues
6:18
or challenges and don't have the outlets
6:21
or the resources to seek out a
6:23
professional necessarily. We provide you
6:25
one every single month with David Weber
6:28
who flies here himself. He takes care of
6:30
his own expenses. I want to just say
6:32
that because he's dedicated to this
6:34
audience and and to the community to
6:38
assist, be that resource, help, explain,
6:43
explore, be somebody who could sometimes
6:46
you just need somebody to listen to you.
6:48
Yeah.
6:48
>> You know, he's that guy, too. I know it
6:51
for a fact. We have um I won't say who
6:53
it is, but we do have a citizen who
6:55
sought help and um uh we volunteered to
6:59
step up and help this person out and
7:01
provide the resources it takes for that
7:03
person to seek out help. And David Weber
7:05
has been the liaison to that throughout
7:08
this whole time. And he helped find one
7:09
of our citizens, one of his colleagues
7:12
to help him out. I'm not David ain't
7:15
invoicing me,
7:16
>> you know, for this, right? And this man,
7:19
you know, he's highly educated, highly
7:21
experienced. Um, and you know, he comes
7:23
with a high price tag, rightfully so.
7:26
He's earned it. Uh, but this is these
7:28
things are being done out the kindness
7:30
of his heart. True. So each each time he
7:32
comes here, I like to say thank you,
7:33
David. I appreciate you for your
7:36
presence. Um, and that was a clip from a
7:38
past conversation we had about
7:40
relationships and people just learning
7:43
how to communicate and talk. Mhm.
7:45
>> Now I'm going build on that but not in
7:48
the form of relationships just the idea
7:51
of talking right how much talking and
7:54
what kind of talk is useful what kind of
7:56
talking is resourceful what kind of
7:59
talking is healthy for us and then the
8:02
flip side of that when is talking not
8:04
healthy?
8:05
>> Yeah. when it's communicating is hurtful
8:07
as uh is u you know a detriment you know
8:11
um how do we measure those things you
8:14
know sometimes I look at a lot of
8:16
conversations and I'll just say it
8:17
within this realm of hip-hop uh whether
8:20
it's broadcast journalism or whether
8:21
it's podcasting so on and so forth and I
8:24
see a common thread a common theme is a
8:28
lot of it has to do with um harboring in
8:30
the past
8:33
>> um excessively
8:35
Like I like to bring up the past, you
8:38
know, and I wonder if I do it too much,
8:40
but I like to talk about some of my past
8:42
things that I did as a young Swiggity,
8:44
you know, and those things help shape
8:46
and mold me to the person I am today.
8:48
But I understand I'm no longer that
8:50
young Swiggity, right?
8:51
>> I'm not running track. I'm not running
8:53
them hurdles. I'm not. But I'm proud of
8:54
what I did then.
8:55
>> But I think you're also bringing it up
8:56
in a different way. This related to a
8:58
story you'll bring up you running track
9:00
because you're now hosting, you and your
9:02
family put together track events.
9:03
Exactly. and that's what your
9:04
inspiration came from. So I think that's
9:06
an
9:07
>> that's a little different and that was
9:08
the natural evolution but the
9:09
conversation evolved.
9:11
>> Yeah.
9:11
>> It didn't get stagnant and stuck.
9:13
>> There you go.
9:14
>> Um 20 30 years ago especially when we
9:18
rehash old wounds
9:21
>> that people have lived through probably
9:24
medicated through and left behind them.
9:27
uh the this this business because of
9:30
talking you know people have to find
9:32
things to talk about and so I'm curious
9:35
to from a mental health professional um
9:39
perspective
9:41
uh when we linger in the past
9:44
consistently and constantly can it be a
9:47
detriment
9:49
um does it hurt can it hurt us right um
9:54
and what is your thoughts about that
9:56
>> yeah It could definitely be a detriment
9:58
and I would argue it's probably a
10:00
detriment more often than we give credit
10:02
for.
10:02
>> Okay.
10:02
>> Um I think we're attached to certain
10:05
identities, right? So I used to be an
10:07
athlete or I used to be this or I used
10:09
to do that. I used to be in the street,
10:10
whatever it may be
10:12
>> and it's 25 years later and that's still
10:14
your identity on some level,
10:17
>> right? like you want to still be
10:18
respected for being in the streets 25
10:21
years ago and now you're a father, you
10:23
got a nineto-five job, you work hard,
10:25
you pay your taxes, and instead of
10:27
talking about that and focusing on that,
10:29
the focus becomes, you know, the
10:31
conversation becomes what happened 25
10:33
years ago and those types of things. I
10:35
think identity is one of the hardest
10:37
things to shift and change
10:39
>> is not only who we are but our p
10:43
>> our our perception or other people's
10:45
perceptions of us and whether or not we
10:47
care about that perception right so um
10:50
let's say I was a street dude right and
10:51
so if I was a street dude I still want
10:54
people to respect me as a street dude
10:56
even though it's been 30 years
10:58
>> right and so their perception of me
11:00
becomes way too important
11:02
>> right instead of my perception of myself
11:04
or my wife's perception of me or my
11:05
children's perception of me. And so
11:07
often times I think we have a a problem
11:09
as it relates to what is our own
11:12
identity, but also why do we care so
11:15
much about other people's perception of
11:17
us? Particularly people we haven't even
11:19
spoken to in 10, 15, 20 years. Mhm.
11:21
>> Do does it hinder our
11:23
>> if we constantly and these are very I I
11:27
haven't thought this out, but if we if
11:28
we're constantly recycling
11:31
the past,
11:33
does it hinder our potential? Does it
11:36
hinder our growth to move on into the
11:38
future? You know what I mean? Like if
11:40
I'm I'm always talking about the past,
11:42
then I'm living in the past.
11:44
>> That's it. We can't Yeah, that's it.
11:46
>> I'm in the right now. If I'm always
11:48
talking about the past, then that's
11:50
where I'm at.
11:51
>> That's it. Like, what's what's the new
11:53
thing? So, first off, I don't know about
11:55
y'all, but I'm so tired of um of group
11:58
chats on my phone. I'm so I'm so sick of
12:01
Oh my word. Right. Cuz the conversation
12:04
is always about
12:06
>> nonsense. It's like it's nothing
12:08
conversation. It's a waste of time. Does
12:10
that make any sense? Now, obviously,
12:12
there's some people out there who having
12:13
great conversations in their group
12:14
chats, but mine ain't great. you know,
12:16
mind. Oh, here we go again. It's a bunch
12:18
of gossip, bunch of stuff that happened
12:20
again 10, 15, 20 years ago. What are we
12:22
doing now?
12:23
>> If is there a conversation about now and
12:25
what we trying to do now? I want to be a
12:27
part of that conversation. If it's a
12:28
conversation about something that
12:29
happened 10 years ago, I don't I don't
12:31
care. I don't care about high school. I
12:33
don't care about what happened in high
12:34
school and so and so. You remember we
12:35
played so and so. No, I don't remember
12:37
>> and I don't care.
12:38
>> Right? Like, what what are we doing?
12:40
What are we doing now? So, as it relates
12:42
to your identity, if you want to change
12:44
your identity, let's say you've always
12:45
been whatever. Let's say you always been
12:48
a street dude. Let's say and I just got
12:49
finished working working in a prison.
12:50
That's why I keep talking about street
12:52
stuff right now. Um, but I used to have
12:54
this conversation in the prison when we
12:56
have we would have group therapy in
12:57
prison.
12:58
>> And the question for me to them always
13:00
was, "Who are you now? What can you do
13:04
now to change your life?" I I get what
13:07
happened. I get what you did. I get you
13:09
got a 10-year bid or a fiveyear bid or
13:11
even life for some of them, but what can
13:13
you do now moving forward
13:16
>> um to make a difference other people's
13:18
lives? And so I don't want to sit here
13:20
and talk
13:21
>> all day long about what happened 25
13:23
years ago. What are we what are we
13:25
trying to do now? And so um that that's
13:27
really difficult for some people to
13:29
detach from their old old identity. So
13:32
let and I I'm not I don't want to speak
13:34
for sway but let's just say in the case
13:37
of media where it's working for some
13:39
people. Let's say that bringing up old
13:42
beefs. Let's say attacking people,
13:44
attacking women, attacking just certain
13:47
things, gossiping, it's working for some
13:49
people. They're bringing in 50 grand a
13:51
month and and streaming money by doing
13:54
that. How do they get off how do they
13:56
get off of it? You know, like how do you
13:58
stop? How do you find a new identity if
14:00
everybody's coming to your platform or
14:02
coming to your space for this type of
14:05
lowhanging fruit to borrow a phrase from
14:07
Sway?
14:08
>> Yeah. Depends on what you value.
14:10
>> If you value money, if that's your God,
14:12
if that's what you value more than
14:14
anything, you you ain't going to change.
14:16
>> You know what I mean? That you going to
14:17
stay right there because whatever you
14:19
got to
14:20
>> conjure up, whatever stuff you got to
14:21
get going and whatever conversations you
14:23
have to have in order to bring more
14:25
bring more money in, you going to do
14:26
that. But so that that would be my
14:28
question. What do you value? What do you
14:29
truly value? Got it.
14:31
>> Right. Um and we again another
14:33
conversation we have in therapy all the
14:34
time. What are your values? People say
14:36
certain values are theirs. It's it's
14:37
that's not really your value. Right? If
14:39
your value is honesty, if your value is
14:41
integrity um if your value is change,
14:44
then I should be able to see the fruits
14:46
of that in your life. And if I can't see
14:48
the fruits of that, you just talking.
14:50
You know what I mean? So, for the people
14:51
who like to bring up old conversations
14:54
and this and that and the other and
14:56
start stuff online and even some of
14:58
y'all who who in the in the comments
15:00
with negative negative comments in the
15:01
comment section on Instagram for what?
15:04
Why are you wasting your time doing Why
15:05
are you wasting your time going at
15:07
people on Instagram? Like that tells me
15:10
you if you come to my session, you say,
15:11
"Yeah, you know, um, you know, Instagram
15:13
sometimes I comment, you know, negative
15:15
stuff." What are we talking about right
15:17
now? What? Like why? What? What part of
15:20
you is so um um uh attached to what's
15:26
going on in someone else's life that you
15:28
got something negative to say online
15:30
about their life? You know what I mean?
15:32
Online. Can you imagine going to Sway's
15:35
comment section like Yeah, Sway, look at
15:36
your hat. Like what? Like like look at
15:38
your jacket, Sway.
15:39
>> That that happens every day.
15:40
>> I'm sure you're bringing up old wounds.
15:43
>> That's what I'm saying. This is going to
15:45
go into a whole another session, man.
15:47
>> That's my point. That's my point is how
15:49
how do you have the time and energy
15:51
>> to go into Sway's comment section and
15:53
say something about him or Heather Bee's
15:55
comment section
15:55
>> or Mike's comment section for for what?
15:58
>> Right? And so I I think I think to be
16:01
honest with y'all I think a lot of
16:02
people are not happy
16:04
>> if I'm being honest.
16:05
>> A lot of people are not happy. And when
16:07
you're not happy you have to find
16:09
something. That's the whole idea of
16:10
projection. You have to find something
16:12
else with somebody else. And then you go
16:16
in their section and you comment all
16:17
negative stuff and stuff like that. So
16:19
anyway, I'm getting off topic, Heather
16:21
B. But my point is that if you don't
16:25
detach, if you don't detach from the
16:28
identity, your old identity, and embrace
16:31
your new identity, you'll keep living in
16:32
the past.
16:33
>> David Weber is here. Give out your
16:34
social media because I want people to be
16:36
able to reach you directly um who won't
16:38
be able to make it on the phone lines.
16:40
So we're going to go to phone callers in
16:41
a second. How can people reach you?
16:43
Yeah, reach me on Instagram at
16:44
davidweber_lpc.
16:46
That's David Wbbber_lpc.
16:49
>> All right, we got uh Dernard on the line
16:51
from Houston. Welcome to the show, Dave.
16:53
What's popping?
16:54
>> Yo, yo,
16:55
>> good morning. Good morning. How y'all
16:57
doing?
16:57
>> Doing great.
16:58
>> Good morning.
16:58
>> Excellent. What's your question today?
17:00
Uh well my my question was really uh me
17:05
trying to focus on the now like y'all
17:08
saying but at the same time uh I'm a I'm
17:12
a professional guy and I I I veered off
17:15
a little bit a few years ago. Now I have
17:17
a family and everything right. So far as
17:20
the professional mind state I I kind of
17:23
do want to focus on how I used to be.
17:26
You know what I mean? because now I me
17:28
meeting people and trying to figure this
17:30
thing out. I'm like right on top of
17:32
where I need to be. Uh like I've been
17:34
speaking to David behind the scenes. I
17:37
mean like on Instagram a little bit too.
17:39
>> Uh and just focusing on I'm trying to
17:42
I'm trying to start this thing to where
17:46
I can take care of my family and I'm I
17:49
don't want to focus on what I did wrong.
17:51
Like one of my partners told me
17:53
yesterday, don't focus on what might
17:56
happen wrong. Just just focus on what
17:59
you're doing positive now. And but it's
18:02
just I guess
18:04
it's a lot of confusion. I I I don't
18:06
even know where to go. See what I'm
18:07
saying? I just you know
18:09
>> No, that makes
18:10
>> I'm just trying to
18:11
>> No, man.
18:12
>> Yeah.
18:12
>> What you said was good, though. I think
18:15
what you said was great. Focusing on
18:17
what what's going on right now. What you
18:19
described, too. By the way, we all do
18:20
this at on some level. It's a there's a
18:23
cognitive distortion called
18:24
catastrophizing. That's when you think
18:26
of the worst possible case scenario of a
18:28
thing. And so we'll create these
18:30
scenarios or things that didn't happen.
18:32
In other words, what if my business
18:33
fails? What if I don't pass that test?
18:36
What if like we we do that what if
18:37
conversation about things that hadn't
18:39
that have not happened yet. Um that's
18:41
called catastrophizing again. Um but
18:44
right now what you're what you're
18:45
talking about I think is great. How do
18:47
you focus on what you got going on now?
18:51
That being it, let me focus on what's
18:53
going on right now in my life. The
18:55
positive things that are going on in my
18:56
life. For some of you who don't feel
18:58
like necessarily you have positive
18:59
things going on in your life right now,
19:01
find some write some things down. What
19:03
are some positive things I can do moving
19:05
forward? Is that going to the gym? Is
19:07
that taking a class? Um is that doing
19:09
yoga? like what are some positive things
19:12
I can do moving forward instead of
19:14
focusing all the all the mistakes that
19:16
we made. We listen, we're all human and
19:18
we all made a bunch of mistakes.
19:20
>> Yeah,
19:20
>> you 30, 40, 50 years old. You made a
19:22
bunch of mistakes in your life and
19:23
that's okay. The question becomes, what
19:26
can you do moving
19:28
>> forward? What can you do moving forward
19:30
and not beating yourself up? Let me say
19:32
this last thing, too. We're really good
19:34
at forgiveness when it comes to other
19:36
people. We're really good at compassion
19:39
when it comes to other people. We're not
19:41
very good when it comes to ourselves.
19:43
And so if you did make some mistakes in
19:44
your past, have some self-compassion.
19:47
Self-compassion. Hey, I'm human. I made
19:50
some mistakes. It's all good. What can I
19:52
do moving forward and not repeating and
19:55
making those same mistakes? Dard, I want
19:56
to thank you for sharing.
19:58
>> Well, well, I just let me say this
20:00
because I want that's okay. I want to
20:01
make sure we get to some other callers,
20:03
but thank you for being open and honest
20:05
and transparent on the airwaves. You may
20:07
not realize that your story um is
20:10
relatable to thousands of others who are
20:12
out there and by you even bringing this
20:14
to the forefront and allowing David to
20:16
um respond to it. There are there are
20:19
droves of other people who are being
20:22
helped by your story. So, I want to say
20:24
thank you, brother. You're a super
20:25
citizen in the morning
20:27
>> and onward and forward. Okay. Real. Yes,
20:30
sir. Real real quick. Since I spoke with
20:32
David the first time, it it really did
20:34
help me. And I do have everything in my
20:37
life right now is positive. But that one
20:40
little piece of doubt could throw y'all.
20:42
I appreciate y'all from the bottom of my
20:44
heart. Y'all y'all just don't
20:46
understand. Y'all just don't understand.
20:48
I appreciate y'all. Thank you, brother.
20:51
You a super citizen.
20:52
>> God bless you, Dwayne. The morning,
20:54
>> man. He got to love it, man. Um Tasha is
20:56
on the line from Wisconsin. Tash,
20:58
>> what up? Hey Tasha.
21:00
>> Hey. How y'all doing?
21:02
>> Doing great.
21:03
>> Excellent. What's your question for
21:04
David?
21:06
>> So the question is, we talk about moving
21:08
on and not talking about the past, but
21:10
we also talk about giving grace and
21:12
forgiving. How can you not talk about
21:15
the past and move forward if in the past
21:18
behaviors have happened, but the repairs
21:21
haven't happened and it's hard to move
21:23
forward when you being triggered?
21:26
>> That's a wonderful question. Um, I'm I'm
21:29
certainly not saying to never talk about
21:31
the past. So, let me let me rephrase.
21:33
I'm not saying to never talk about the
21:34
past. I'm saying I can't live in the
21:36
past, right? I graduated high school in
21:38
1998. I can't live in 1998, right? I can
21:42
I may talk about it occasionally about
21:44
something may have happened. Um, but I
21:46
can't live there. And also, what you're
21:48
I think what you're talking about too is
21:50
when it involves when the issue involves
21:52
someone else. So, there hasn't been
21:54
healing yet,
21:55
>> right? Right. And so if the issue Okay.
21:57
Okay. So if the issue involves something
22:00
else or sorry someone else, then
22:02
hopefully we can have a conversation.
22:04
Unfortunately, not everyone wants to
22:06
have that conversation,
22:07
>> right? There are some people who may
22:08
have done you wrong who are not willing
22:11
to have a conversation with you,
22:13
>> right? So that's okay.
22:15
>> And then I have to put up boundaries,
22:18
right, as relates to your relationship
22:19
and move forward. I may love you and
22:22
care about you. But going back to that
22:23
and sentence, I love you. I care about
22:25
you and I have to move forward.
22:28
>> You know what you did wrong. You know
22:30
what you did to me,
22:31
>> right?
22:31
>> You know what I mean? So I So I can't
22:33
sit there and carry the weight uh uh um
22:37
of what you did of what you did to me. I
22:39
have to be able to move forward in my
22:41
own life. And so um whoever did you
22:43
wrong in your life,
22:45
>> for the vast majority of the time, they
22:47
know they did you wrong. They know what
22:49
they did,
22:49
>> right?
22:50
>> They know what they did. The question
22:52
becomes can can you can you forgive
22:56
>> them in this sense? Not forgive them in
22:58
a sense of you know what they did and
23:00
doesn't matter. I don't mean it that
23:01
way. I mean forgive you enough that I
23:03
can move on and still love you.
23:05
>> I Yeah. I'm just trying to figure out
23:08
the difference
23:09
>> between where the grace where the grace
23:11
stops and the boundaries start. You know
23:14
what I mean? Because I feel like some
23:15
people they they play that, you know,
23:17
that Christianity card. Oh, grace,
23:19
grace, this and you know, I gave you
23:20
grace and this and that, but it be like
23:22
apples to oranges. And it's like, well,
23:23
you know, moving forward, I want to give
23:25
you grace, but I think people have
23:28
different definitions of what like
23:29
forgiveness and grace look like.
23:31
>> Okay. What's your definition of grace?
23:34
>> Um, I'm I'm still trying to figure it
23:36
out. That's why I call cuz I don't
23:40
got
23:40
>> that's why I called because I think that
23:42
when other when you got other people
23:44
involved, children are involved and you
23:46
know um life has and and you know happen
23:49
and children are involved in the choices
23:50
that you make especially when you in a
23:52
relationship with someone and you got
23:54
family built around it, you know, your
23:55
choices end up affecting other people.
23:58
And so like it's like I love this
24:00
person, but I can't be I can't keep
24:02
being triggered if your behaviors ain't
24:04
changing. But I'm supposed to move on,
24:06
>> you know, and just stop talking about
24:07
the past.
24:08
>> You just said it.
24:10
>> I love what you just said.
24:11
>> What I say
24:14
just said, I just went off, dude.
24:16
>> Right. I love
24:18
>> Tell me what I said, please.
24:19
>> Right. If the if the if the person if
24:21
the person is still in your life or they
24:24
still have to be in your life on some
24:26
level,
24:26
>> right?
24:28
>> Yes, sir.
24:28
>> I know what you did wrong. You did. It
24:31
involves children and y'all know I'm
24:33
real sensitive when it comes to
24:34
children, right? It involves children. I
24:36
don't play about the kids. Okay. So,
24:39
that's when your boundaries you you
24:41
can't play with it.
24:42
>> Now, am I going to bring it up every
24:43
single time we talk and have a
24:44
conversation? No. I have to move
24:46
forward, but I'm not playing with you.
24:49
Does that make sense? I'm not playing
24:50
with you. So, right, whatever it may be,
24:53
you ain't going to be around my kids.
24:55
>> You ain't going to have that effect
24:57
again.
24:58
>> And watch this. And I love you.
25:01
>> And I love you. So, I don't care if
25:03
that's a father, a cousin, a mother, or
25:05
uncle. And I love you. And you be And
25:08
you're not going to be a my kids.
25:09
Period.
25:11
>> Period. Point blank. Period.
25:12
>> It is what it is.
25:14
>> I can I can love you and have
25:15
boundaries.
25:16
>> Tasha said, "Thank you." Let's Okay, we
25:18
got it. All right. Thank you, Tasha.
25:20
>> You said what you said, Tasha. You said
25:22
>> about add you. I'm about to go add you
25:24
on on Instagram, too. So, I really
25:26
appreciate you taking the time and I
25:27
thank y'all and I listen to y'all every
25:29
morning. Um, and God bless y'all.
25:31
>> God bless you. And Tasha, you can hit
25:34
him off air. He'll respond for sure.
25:37
>> So, David Weber_LPC
25:40
and good luck to you. You're a super
25:42
citizen. All right. God bless you.
25:44
>> Indiana, we got Don on the line. you
25:45
wanted to comment on what was just said,
25:47
Don?
25:49
>> Yeah, pretty much. I've just been
25:50
listening. I just actually just tuned
25:52
in. I'm driving to an appointment, but
25:54
uh I kind of felt like I needed a
25:57
comment on there and I I really never
25:59
did it, but uh I I grew up in a godly
26:01
home, so trying to forgive somebody's
26:03
really really difficult at times,
26:06
especially with with family members. And
26:08
then on top of that, I worked in the in
26:10
the uh state prison system for about
26:13
three years.
26:14
>> Wow. and I kind of had an impact on the
26:16
guys in my dorm and I had a chance to
26:19
build a rapport with them and I told him
26:21
I was like look in order for you to get
26:24
yourself in a better situation sometimes
26:26
you got to get surrounded by positive
26:30
people, places, and things.
26:32
>> Yeah.
26:34
And I told him, unfortunately, sometimes
26:36
you got to distance yourself from family
26:38
because they're expecting the old you
26:42
when you get out. and they don't they
26:44
don't know the new you that has been
26:47
working on yourself, you know, changing
26:50
yourself since you've been locked up or
26:52
and I've actually, you know, had it come
26:55
across a couple different people in the
26:57
small town that I live in that are in a
27:00
kind of like a halfway house to get
27:02
yourself better. And then I've even had
27:04
a couple guys go up to my supervisors
27:06
and whatnot and say, "Yeah, Cox, he's
27:09
doing, you know, he's bringing structure
27:11
to the dorm and blah blah blah." So
27:14
>> that's wonderful. That's good.
27:15
>> But yeah, you guys, it sounds like you,
27:17
Mr. Weber, you really know what you're
27:19
talking about. And I, you know, that's
27:20
that's truly amazing because nowadays we
27:23
need we need that in America with all
27:25
the
27:26
>> shootings and crazy stuff going on,
27:29
>> everything going on. I appreciate your
27:31
comment and also, you know, the fact
27:33
that you worked in prison. I I
27:34
definitely understand that side as well.
27:36
um the difference that you made in the
27:38
pod or the dorm um is is is we need that
27:42
and they and they hear you, right? And
27:44
and not only not only they hear your
27:46
words, they also hear your example or
27:48
see your example.
27:49
>> Um and so we appreciate uh what you do.
27:52
But thank you for your words.
27:53
>> Hey, Don. And I like how how he said put
27:55
yourself surround yourself with positive
27:57
energy.
27:58
>> There you go.
27:58
>> Cuz you going to feel that energy when
27:59
you walk in the room.
28:00
>> There you go.
28:02
>> Can't align with how you feel. Get out
28:03
of there.
28:04
>> There you go.
28:04
>> But if it's That's what we try to create
28:07
in our room, Don. Every morning when we
28:09
do this show and guests come to this
28:11
show, we want them to
28:13
>> I've had like quite a few when they walk
28:16
in
28:16
>> and you been here, David, when folks
28:18
walk out.
28:19
>> Yeah.
28:19
>> We feel good.
28:20
>> Oh, yeah. Yeah. Yeah.
28:21
>> You know, and um about that great
28:23
energy. Don, you're a super citizen,
28:25
man. Energy, man. Give it up for Don.
28:27
Yo.
28:28
>> Don said distance yourself. I love that.
28:31
>> Yeah, man.
28:32
>> David Weber, I have a question for thee.
28:34
You know, oftent times when we are
28:37
unhappy, uh, we'll go to music. We've
28:40
always hear we always hear that music is
28:42
therapy that comes from the artists who
28:44
say that about their process. But I
28:46
really want to focus on the listeners of
28:50
music, you know, and lyrics can echo our
28:52
pain and we cling to these lyrics that
28:55
kind of are a reflection of our inner
28:57
world. But I I would love your
29:00
perspective on if listening to sad music
29:04
>> can be healing or can it risk
29:07
reinforcing
29:09
negative cycles?
29:11
You know, like it's it's one thing for a
29:13
music to resonate, but when you're
29:16
repeatedly listening to a song or an
29:19
album that is maybe all about
29:21
heartbreak, what's the boundary between
29:24
resonance and rumination?
29:27
Wonderful question. Um,
29:30
I I think personally uh that negative
29:34
music or music, sad music or music that
29:37
that that alters your mood depending on
29:40
where you're at, depending on what state
29:42
you're in can be horrible for you,
29:44
right? If you know you deal with
29:46
depression, that's something you deal
29:47
with, right? Um, your house is not very
29:50
clean, you you not very motivated, you
29:53
have thoughts of of suicide or what they
29:55
call suicide ideation. Um,
29:58
sad music for you may not shouldn't it
30:01
may not be a thing for you. It does it
30:03
may not work for you. For someone else
30:05
who's, you know, they're running and
30:07
they, you know, surfing and they have a
30:10
they go to work every day and they're
30:11
happy and they're positive. For them, it
30:14
may not have the same effect. So, I I
30:16
would answer the question by saying know
30:17
yourself. If you're a person who
30:19
struggles with depression, if you're a
30:20
person who struggles with anxiety, um
30:22
what you take in becomes paramount,
30:26
extraordinarily important what you take
30:27
in. In fact, I would argue what you take
30:29
in for anyone is extraordinarily
30:31
important, but especially if you
30:32
struggle with depression um or anxiety,
30:35
um it can definitely make things worse.
30:36
For sure. I've seen it I've seen it a
30:38
bunch of times, right?
30:39
>> For sure. Um actually, this week uh I
30:42
was um
30:43
>> it was a really hard week for me. Uh
30:45
this week uh I I left the prison. Um I
30:48
went back home and uh and I was sad. I
30:51
didn't know why I was sad. I had no
30:52
idea. It was really weird. I couldn't
30:54
figure it out. Um and and I just the
30:58
whole my whole drive home I was
31:00
listening to Madison Ryan Ward and I was
31:02
listening to Fred Hammond and I was
31:04
trying to pump in as much positive music
31:06
as I could because I I I was feeling I
31:09
was feeling off, you know what I mean?
31:10
And and it changed it made me feel a
31:12
little bit little bit better. So, to
31:14
answer your question, um, if you're if
31:16
you struggle with depression like
31:18
myself, um, be careful what you take in,
31:22
including television, be careful what
31:24
you take in.
31:25
>> Thank you.
31:26
>> Hey, David, I have a question. Um, the
31:29
last couple calls we've gotten had to do
31:31
with religion and and God and and
31:33
Christianity and around forgiveness. I
31:36
was wondering if we can just remove that
31:38
from the equation and talk about this
31:41
idea that I hear all the time that
31:43
forgiveness is for yourself
31:46
>> and not the other person. If you can
31:48
expand upon that on on that idea um and
31:52
what does that mean that it's it's for
31:54
yourself?
31:55
>> Yeah. So there's a book called The Body
31:58
Keeps the Score that you all should
32:00
should get if you haven't read it
32:02
already. Essentially when you hold
32:06
anger, frustration,
32:09
um when you hold those types of
32:10
emotions, your body will be the one that
32:13
will respond that will have a negative
32:15
effect, not the other person.
32:17
>> Right? So the whole idea of of
32:19
forgiveness is that I don't carry the
32:23
shame, the guilt, the anger, the
32:25
frustration that I don't carry those
32:27
things. It's not it's not for the other
32:29
person. is so that I don't carry those
32:31
things in my body as well. And so um the
32:34
the from high blood pressure to
32:36
hypertension and and everything else
32:38
that comes um with not only you know how
32:43
we eat and those types of things, but
32:44
the amount of stress that we carry. And
32:46
so if I have someone that I haven't
32:47
forgiven and it's been 25 years, that's
32:50
25 years off and on of anger. That's 25
32:53
years off and on of frustration. That's
32:56
25 years off and on of stress. And so by
32:59
releasing that, by forgiving them, it it
33:02
it helps me, it helps soothe me, it
33:04
helps regulate my emotions, regulate um
33:07
my nervous system, etc. Um and so I hope
33:11
I answered your question. I like the
33:12
chain, by the way, too.
33:13
>> Thank you.
33:15
>> A damn.
33:18
>> Damn. Oh, David, you know what?
33:20
>> That's that big 10, baby. That's that
33:22
big love.
33:24
>> Thank you, David.
33:28
Oh my god.
33:29
>> Listen, this was a great great
33:32
conversation today with David Weber,
33:34
man. Let's give this man a round of
33:35
applause. Sunny and Philly on Chadwick
33:38
in Texas, TK in Dallas, and everybody
33:40
else within the sound of our voice. You
33:42
have access to him.
33:44
>> Yes,
33:44
>> he has graciously opened himself up to
33:47
the citizenship. So, if you hit him
33:49
directly at
33:50
>> davidweber_lpc,
33:52
for those who don't have Instagram, just
33:54
email me, [email protected].
33:57
There it is. Uh, Mr. Weber, I want to
34:00
thank you again for a job well done,
34:02
bro. And, um,
34:04
>> we got we got a next the next um when we
34:07
do our next sitdown broadcast outside of
34:10
New York. I mean outside of New York,
34:11
LA. Uh, and we're live in front of some
34:14
citizens. You have to come. You have to
34:16
be a part of that. All right. It's a
34:18
great experience. It's a good idea.
#Arts & Entertainment