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True Strength Revealed: David Webber Unpacks Masculinity Myths 💪 | SWAY’S UNIVERSE
Feb 7, 2024
Dive into the heart of masculinity with David Weber, a mental health therapist with a master's degree from Northwestern University, as he unpacks the myths surrounding true strength on Sway In The Morning. This enlightening conversation shatters stereotypes, encouraging men to embrace vulnerability and set healthy boundaries. Weber's personal journey and professional insights offer a unique perspective on coping with life's challenges, proving that real power lies in authenticity and emotional resilience. Don't miss this transformative discussion that's redefining masculinity for the modern man. Subscribe now for more exclusive interviews and groundbreaking content on Sway’s Universe. #DavidWeber #TrueStrength #MasculinityMyths #SwaysUniverse #MentalHealthAwareness
For more enlightening talks and exclusive interviews that challenge the status quo, watch our latest videos. Follow Sway’s Universe on social media and visit our website for updates on upcoming guests and special segments. Dive deep into discussions that matter with #SwayInTheMorning.
#ReleaseOfEnergy #Vulnerability #MusicInterviews #SwaysUniverse #EmotionalExpression
CHAPTERS:
0:00 - David Webber Introduction
0:52 - Male Mental Health Stigma
5:31 - Loving Others Effectively
5:55 - Benefits of Therapy
9:36 - Caller Mike's Story
13:41 - Cameron's Question
15:12 - Pete's Experience
19:03 - Will's Insight
19:41 - Understanding Sibling Rivalry
21:47 - Conclusion
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0:00
that's the voice of David Weber a mental
0:03
health therapist that's with us
0:05
today got his master's degree at
0:07
Northwestern University he ain't just
0:09
talking out the side of his
0:11
neck this man done studied and
0:13
researched it and been through it
0:15
himself if you follow him on David
0:18
Weber is it LPC LPC David Weber LPC as
0:23
much as he has people open up to them to
0:27
give them it give them directions or
0:29
guidance or moments of his expertise
0:32
information from his expertise he also
0:34
opens up to his audience to show you
0:37
that a therapist is human too they may
0:39
have all the answers they may be well
0:41
studied but that doesn't mean they're
0:42
not going to go through depression they
0:45
self-doubt U confusion chaos the same
0:48
things a lot of things we experience as
0:50
non- therapists every single day you
0:52
know I think personally in my in my role
0:54
because of the roles I've played over
0:56
the years has always been a a front
0:58
person on the mic you know whether it's
1:00
radio or TV or any type of news
1:03
correspondence when I'm off the mic
1:05
people see me as a front person so
1:07
there's a lot of um expectations that
1:11
come with that when people um come to me
1:14
um and I don't know if it's ever uh the
1:17
consideration that that guy is human too
1:20
and I think a lot of times people like
1:22
me We tuck that under and go I can
1:24
handle it m I'm built for it I'm strong
1:27
enough to do it I've said that for years
1:29
for that case I cuz I am I always felt
1:32
like ah come on bring more family with
1:34
family member with friend I can deal
1:36
with it um up until Co and then when Co
1:40
happened and we start experiencing a lot
1:41
of um losses during that covid time it
1:45
opened me up it peeled a layer down that
1:47
no longer exist so it's hard for me to
1:50
hold back tears if that's the emotion
1:52
that it calls for right um but I still
1:54
but sometimes I still sit in confusion
1:57
um because a lot of people people come
2:00
to me for a lot which I'm trying to
2:03
answer and show up for every single time
2:06
but a lot of times I don't have anything
2:08
left for me right and then you feel
2:11
guilty if you're not you know if you're
2:13
not there for those who come to you you
2:15
know you feel way I feel this obligation
2:17
I can't even sleep well if I can't solve
2:19
the next person problems you know I
2:21
could I couldn't sleep well for years I
2:23
tell them all the I woke up at this time
2:25
I woke cuz I'm thinking about other
2:27
people's problems until it start be a
2:30
detriment to
2:31
me and um I had to find a way to um I
2:35
had to find a way to cope and so that's
2:38
why I got in the gym um back in October
2:41
yeah right and that's been a that's been
2:43
helpful for me right now a lot of men we
2:47
don't come to that conclusion we just
2:49
keep going and we just keep taking on
2:51
that energy and we got these ideas that
2:53
this is our role in society you got to
2:55
be able to take it all yeah you got to
2:57
take your daughter your sons your
2:59
cousins your your mom your uncles
3:01
whoever issues it's up to if you at the
3:04
nucleus of your family you got to hold
3:06
it on you got to take it all do you
3:07
experience that a lot in your in your
3:09
practice so men suffer in silence that's
3:11
what that's what they do okay they keep
3:13
it inside um and they deal with it alone
3:16
and they also if they can't deal with it
3:19
in the way they want to deal with it
3:21
they'll blame themselves or they'll see
3:23
themselves as weak um they'll see
3:25
themselves as not strong enough but the
3:27
reality is you're a human being and so
3:29
the things that you're going through as
3:31
a human being are deserving just as much
3:33
as anyone else of of of help and support
3:36
and those types of things and so when
3:37
you give give give give give and then
3:40
eventually you're just pouring from
3:41
empty cup and so how can I help you when
3:43
I'm empty and so especially someone like
3:46
you or you know many of you who have
3:48
been successful and you you've you know
3:50
made money and those types of things
3:52
people just think that you have a bunch
3:54
to give and so yeah I can help you
3:56
financially maybe but at some point all
3:59
those Things become a burden and so the
4:01
best way to love people is with
4:03
boundaries that's the best way to love
4:05
people oh wow the best way to love
4:07
people with boundaries right cuz I won't
4:10
I won't have
4:11
resentment Whoa We all all the men in
4:14
the room shaking their head like the
4:15
Muppets yeah man boundaries me and Tracy
4:17
like y'all ain't know
4:19
that wow catch up I won't I won't have
4:22
resentment towards you if I have
4:24
boundaries around the relationship so no
4:27
for me I don't lend money to friends I
4:29
love you but I don't want to have
4:31
resentment towards you when you don't
4:33
pay me back cuz you're not going to pay
4:34
me back yeah so so when you don't pay me
4:37
back then now we have an issue and now I
4:40
hold resentment and I don't want to hold
4:41
resentment towards you so I love you but
4:43
no right yeah I love you and I can talk
4:46
to you on the phone I can come visit you
4:48
I can sit in your living room we can do
4:50
a bunch of other things other than money
4:52
right um so people have a difficult time
4:55
saying no because we don't want the
4:56
person to think we selfish and those
4:58
types of things but if you want me to
5:00
love you the best way then let me set
5:02
these boundaries I set the boundaries
5:03
around what time I answer my phone what
5:05
time I text you back like if I'm busy
5:08
I'm busy I'll call you back I'll call
5:10
you back but I'm not gonna rush you know
5:13
to answer my phone because you may think
5:15
I got time that I don't have and I'm
5:17
upset or I feel way that you know you
5:19
may be upset with me so my point is
5:22
loving people the best way to love them
5:24
is with boundaries and that's difficult
5:26
for many people it's difficult for most
5:27
people it's difficult for me David Weber
5:31
LPC see get that man a round of applause
5:33
for that second gym today all right I G
5:36
let Dante Hall former Kansas City chief
5:40
player yeah you m and then and then he
5:43
does a lot he does corresponding work um
5:45
he's an amazing human being you know um
5:48
regardless of who he played for but he
5:50
want to
5:51
actually saying man steady throwing the
5:53
shade but U I want to stick around and
5:55
ask you this because I'm not for or
5:58
against therapy but always had this
6:00
feeling and I wanted to get your
6:02
response um how do you feel about people
6:05
that feel like why would I go speak with
6:07
a person that knows I don't know he
6:09
doesn't know me and I'm going to go
6:11
spill everything all my emotions my
6:14
issues my problems give that to a person
6:16
how can he help me with a lifetime of
6:19
issues and a couple of sessions like
6:22
yeah that's a great question and that
6:24
that speaks to the larger issues
6:25
particularly in the black community you
6:26
know we're in uh Black History Month
6:28
right now so that's speaks to that
6:30
larger issue I'mma tell this person who
6:32
don't know me a bunch of stuff about me
6:35
and you can potentially tell someone
6:37
else my business absolutely not right um
6:40
but
6:41
that's I want I want to slow this down
6:44
because that's that's very very
6:45
important you do it because if you don't
6:48
do it it's going to affect you it's G to
6:50
affect your soul it's gonna affect your
6:51
body it's gonna affect your mind there's
6:52
actually a book called the body keeps
6:54
the score if you haven't read it that
6:56
all those things we hold inside ourself
6:58
is going to play out in your physical
7:00
it's just a matter of time and you may
7:02
not even notice it and so when you
7:04
looking for a therapist first off
7:06
finding a therapist in general it's
7:08
difficult right it's hard to find a
7:10
person that you feel like you can trust
7:12
y right that's that's difficult but
7:14
we're held by E ethical boundaries right
7:17
I'm not allowed to talk to anybody about
7:20
what you tell me nobody not my family
7:23
not my woman not nobody so I have to
7:25
keep that stuff to myself and if you end
7:26
up talking to somebody and they end up
7:28
telling information to someone else they
7:30
shouldn't be in our industry all right
7:32
so we have to get those people out of
7:33
our industry but going and talking to
7:35
somebody man if you don't it's going to
7:37
affect you for the rest let me elaborate
7:38
cuz I don't think the issue is more
7:40
trust is more how can you help me right
7:42
how can you help a person that you
7:44
really don't know they come in they tell
7:46
you all these issues but you don't
7:48
really know the foundation you know the
7:49
top layer of the issues how can a
7:52
therapist help that's why we built were
7:53
poor that's what you come in it's not a
7:56
one time thing no no no no you have to
7:58
no no no it's a
8:02
Rel relationship it is no it is yeah so
8:06
you have to come in and one of the
8:08
things I say is you being honest is the
8:11
best way for me to help you and it's
8:13
going to take some time you're not g to
8:14
feel comfortable coming in and talking
8:16
to me and I just met you five minutes
8:18
ago yeah right but hopefully three
8:20
months from now you you start you know
8:22
what Dave is cool man he seemed like
8:23
he's a pretty cool cat I trust him
8:25
enough to tell him this part and then to
8:27
tell him that part and before you know
8:29
it six months later eight months later
8:30
you telling me everything right and now
8:32
you crying hopefully you're getting
8:34
emotional and you're feeling the the
8:36
emotions because men don't like to feel
8:37
emotions so hopefully you get to the
8:39
point where you're feeling the emotions
8:40
expressing those emotions and
8:42
occasionally my clients they have me
8:43
crying sometimes to be honest with you
8:45
when they're telling me stuff and I
8:46
start crying too so um that's a great
8:49
question though you're not going to know
8:52
you just open up you trust the process
8:55
and over time you trust it more over
8:57
time you trust it more over time you
8:59
trust more they just hit it relationship
9:01
I hear these topics all the time you
9:03
guys just hit it I never realized you
9:05
have to build a
9:06
relationship I've never heard that and
9:08
think about like how many years has
9:11
shaped who you currently are that's like
9:13
experiencing the trauma so you're going
9:15
to need many years to undo it as well
9:19
yeah Dante Hall Man David Weber is here
9:21
we're going to take more calls hey men
9:24
call
9:25
up yeah yeah men we need men to call up
9:28
this is it man talk to us fellas I'm
9:30
trying to bom with y'all you know we hug
9:32
when I see you in public it's necessary
9:33
though we can do more though we can do
9:35
more than just hug man let's talk about
9:36
it wait we got Mike on the line from
9:38
Arkansas you got a question Mike yeah
9:41
man I was just gonna say that I actually
9:43
uh first let me say what all has being
9:46
said I can understand a whole bunch of
9:48
what everybody got to say but it's just
9:51
what it is man you know in dealing with
9:53
stuff with relationship and to say
9:55
something about you know loving somebody
9:57
and then dealing with for for a period
10:00
of time the fact that they don't want
10:01
you and then it make you feel so way
10:03
about yourself and then you know me
10:05
personally growing up in the South
10:07
growing up in a church and had be you
10:10
can excuse me for a minute for saying
10:11
this but it's just I have to fight with
10:13
God versus paying all that money to go
10:16
and see the psychiatrist even though the
10:19
whole deal is to let him understand it
10:21
from from his point of view to give you
10:23
Direction but it's just man it is a
10:25
struggle and it just I've been
10:27
struggling and I mean I just to be
10:29
hearing this today just thought I call
10:31
you know what I'm saying no no we love
10:33
that Mike Mike so you you want to know
10:34
how to deal with someone that doesn't
10:36
want
10:37
you right because of the fact that I've
10:40
been going through like chasing them for
10:42
a long time whenever we have been
10:44
together had issues but it's just like I
10:46
know I get it let let's let them jump in
10:49
because I want to know about that when
10:51
you're dealing with somebody that that
10:52
doesn't want you unrequited you're not
10:54
married and you're not married Lee what
10:56
do you you know they answer that
10:58
question already
10:59
you already know the answer that you
11:01
know the answer to the question to your
11:03
own question you've answered your own
11:04
question the person don't want me I
11:05
ain't married to this person I'm out
11:07
right it goes back to right it goes back
11:09
to the boundaries piece right if you
11:10
don't want me right what do I look like
11:12
standing around you don't want me right
11:15
and it's just I don't know I guess the
11:16
whole just the whole idea how I was
11:18
always want something you know to be
11:20
better but did you hear what he just
11:22
said Mike yes I did yes I did what you
11:25
think about what he just said well I
11:28
mean I I have got come I'm coming to
11:30
full circle with it I'm coming to
11:31
fruition with it now okay after all this
11:34
time and even even as in today but like
11:37
like you know I don't know like I said I
11:38
think deep myself to where you know
11:40
little stuff give me um finally give me
11:43
the sign after all this time whenever I
11:46
still been around all this time you know
11:47
what I'm saying it just I know it take a
11:49
minute for y'all to get a whole
11:51
understanding you know what I'm saying
11:52
not knowing the whole
11:53
story no no that's good man but that's a
11:55
great beginning so to today's
11:57
conversations we're not going to solve
11:59
every problem in these conversations
12:01
we're just going to bring them to
12:02
surface Mike and I keep I want to give
12:05
David information out because y'all
12:06
could continue these conversations with
12:08
David Weber beyond the conversation this
12:10
the Prelude so follow him at David
12:14
Weber LPC Mike you're a citizen a s in
12:17
the morning we gonna come back David
12:19
Weber here we got a lot of people on the
12:20
phone lines and then we got Charlie
12:21
Wilson coming up after that mental
12:24
health Monday with David Weber yes oh I
12:26
like that like it that got a ring to it
12:29
hello
12:30
shade45 SW morning have the be Tracy G
12:33
mental health Mondays with David Weber
12:36
with David Weber our therapist um you're
12:38
welcome s thank you he has a master's
12:41
degree in clinical mental health
12:43
counseling from Northwestern University
12:45
a very prestigious campus um he has his
12:48
own way of doing uh therapy he believes
12:51
in a holistic approach to Wellness is
12:53
the Catalyst for om my therapist which
12:56
is his private practice located in
12:58
Atlanta um and I want to give out this
13:01
information citizens it's just a a
13:03
starter to a longer conversation that we
13:05
all need to be having and it doesn't
13:06
have to always be on the platform if you
13:08
want to have direct communication with
13:10
David Weber maybe you could bring them
13:12
into your life yes because this is a
13:14
lifestyle choice David Weber unor
13:19
LPC David
13:21
Weber LPC and we have not mentioned this
13:25
he's also the younger brother of Chris
13:27
Weber that's right Chris Weber the NBA
13:30
God himself all right come on Chris is
13:34
my guy so C what up C Chris Weber man uh
13:37
so we're going to take more calls I want
13:39
to get quick quick questions um and
13:41
decent responses Cameron's on the line
13:43
from PA Cameron what's your question cam
13:45
hey cam hey good morning SW good morning
13:48
Tracy good morning Heather hey my
13:51
question is um for most men we we we
13:54
tend to suffer in silence because we're
13:56
not comfortable with being vulnerable to
13:58
women
13:59
and it's it's it's more because we don't
14:02
want to appear soft how do you approach
14:06
that you identifying it which is what
14:08
you just did so that's excellent
14:10
identifying you know I want to be
14:13
vulnerable I want to express myself um
14:16
and that's the hardest part is even
14:18
having those type of internal
14:19
conversations being honest with yourself
14:21
about yourself is one of the hardest
14:22
things you can do and you just did that
14:25
and so you it's just one step at a time
14:27
like with anything right you just
14:28
practice you try you know what today I'm
14:30
going try to be more vulnerable with my
14:32
girl I'm I'm going tell her something
14:33
about myself I never told her before I'm
14:35
going see what her response is hopefully
14:37
she's receptive hopefully she doesn't
14:39
judge you or those types of things and
14:42
if you have a good response then you try
14:43
it again and you try it again we call
14:45
those corrective emotional experiences
14:48
uh in therapy corrective emotional
14:49
experiences cor and then Cameron too if
14:52
you want to further this discussion hit
14:53
them up directly yeah hit me up directly
14:55
David Weber LPC or you can call me 404
14:58
4919 4777 I do return phone calls and
15:02
try to get you the resources that you
15:03
need I return them myself so hit me up
15:05
leave a voice message please just don't
15:07
call and just leave a voice message and
15:09
I'll get back to you I promise you hey
15:10
Cameron you're a citizen brother in the
15:12
morning Pete from Boston what up Pete
15:14
spend a minute hey hey what's up man
15:16
first of all I want to like thank y'all
15:18
because I've been listening to y' for a
15:20
long long long time B Tracy what up like
15:24
my love my love for all of y'all thank
15:26
you I'm calling you're welcome I 18
15:29
years clean ciety used to shoot dop back
15:32
in the days 80 90s fell off about a year
15:35
ago I understand that you don't lose the
15:37
clean time but in that process of being
15:39
clean I was a social worker for a little
15:42
while decided to change careers about 10
15:44
years ago now Dy trucks now I'm getting
15:47
back on track slowly but surely but it
15:51
has been a
15:53
mission you know like the 18 years clean
15:56
time that's a long time yeah yeah and
16:00
know and even though like I said even
16:02
though I know like the the fundamentals
16:05
of when I was a social worker but it's
16:07
different when you're on the other side
16:08
of the track like I said I'm trying to
16:10
get back on track I am do doing the one
16:13
on oneon-one thing I do agree with
16:16
therapy I do agree with being rable but
16:19
it just you know at times I just find
16:21
myself still having issues you know
16:24
living life for Life terms has never
16:25
been easy but I'm just like trying to
16:29
hear like a different perspective
16:31
because I'm just like trying to Bri them
16:33
like I'm literally starting this new
16:34
even though I had the 18 years clean
16:36
before but I'm looking at it like if I'm
16:38
just starting from scratch I'm learning
16:40
how to crawl so I can learn how to walk
16:42
again and eventually run wow hey like
16:46
yes first of all I want to thank you
16:48
Pete I don't want to cut you off I just
16:50
want to thank you first and foremost for
16:52
even sitting on making that effort to
16:54
dial the number yes you know right s to
16:58
tell your story to sit on hold while we
17:01
came to you cuz I think that's the part
17:02
of your process of getting how you say
17:04
getting back on track you know you
17:06
exposing it to the world and and by
17:09
doing that it's almost you making a
17:11
commitment to yourself I'm going let the
17:13
therapist um talk to you David Weber
17:15
yeah so 18 years man you should be proud
17:17
of yourself 18 years that's a long am
17:21
that's a long time I don't kick myself
17:24
in the ass for it but you know it was a
17:26
long time I accomplished a lot in those
17:29
18s of soety and like I said you know
17:32
I'm learning to crawl I'm learning to
17:33
walk so I can again let me let me I'm
17:36
going to cut you let me say this real
17:37
quick self- Grace is extraordinarily
17:39
important we're great at giving Grace to
17:42
other people horrible at having Grace
17:44
for ourselves what does that mean that
17:46
means when I mess up it's okay I can get
17:49
back up I try again I start again in the
17:51
same way if someone else messed up you
17:53
say you know what that's cool brother
17:54
it's all right you can start over again
17:56
so there's there's times in life you
17:57
going to try something
17:58
you doing really well at it you may
18:00
trying to lose weight you may try to
18:01
whatever it may be and you fall off the
18:03
wagon you get back on but practicing
18:06
self- Grace is extraordinarily important
18:08
that means I have Grace for other people
18:10
which is great but if I don't have that
18:12
Grace for myself that's wrong the same
18:15
Grace I give to other people I got to
18:16
have for myself self forgiveness there
18:19
Pete all right you uh uh man I really
18:22
want you Pete I I you a you a person I
18:25
really want you to reach out to him
18:26
directly I don't know if you know I
18:28
already wrot I already wrote his
18:30
information down trust me like I said
18:32
I'm keeping all doors open and I'm just
18:34
having a different outlook on on things
18:35
now because I ain't trying to find
18:37
myself where I found myself back in the
18:39
80s and 90s I'm too old for that
18:42
man yeah come on real live our best
18:45
lives Pete okay we appreciate you
18:47
sharing brother you know you know you
18:49
family you a super citizen Pete in the
18:52
morning okay this is what I'mma do wow
18:55
we got a lot of people on the line but
18:56
we got Charlie Wilson from formerly of
18:58
the Gap Band coming up yep just got his
19:01
you know star got his star on the
19:02
Hollywood Walk of Fame but Walter in
19:04
Virginia who runs a mental health group
19:07
Daniel in Jersey whose wife passed John
19:10
in Virginia he's a behavior analyst
19:12
Blair in Iowa um he wants to talk about
19:15
relationships Tony and queens how to he
19:17
wants to find Outlets to release the
19:18
energy Eric and Oklahoma mother was on
19:21
crack um Bobby in Kansas City been doing
19:24
therapy for a while will and Charlotte
19:26
uh uh um
19:30
has a question about Brotherhood the
19:31
whole nine we were going to go into
19:33
something about siblings but I say maybe
19:35
we could put the question on air and
19:37
people can answer it on your Instagram
19:39
cool okay yep okay so we're going to
19:41
talk about siblings um too now I kind of
19:44
want to end the conversation with that
19:46
yeah okay yeah so you know you mentioned
19:48
earlier that you know my brothers is is
19:50
is Chris Weber and growing up in his
19:52
shadow was it was it was terrible uh it
19:55
was great up until a point right like
19:57
you know when you 11 years old that's
19:58
fantastic right when he's playing with
19:59
the F five is wonderful right and then
20:02
life gets real and then you realize wait
20:04
I'm not on that same path I'm not gonna
20:07
go to the NBA right I'm not I'm on that
20:08
same path that he's on and so I end up
20:10
playing four games in the NBA four or
20:12
five games okay so I quote made it but I
20:15
didn't make it right and so in that
20:18
sense I wasn't good enough and so many
20:20
of us have stories in our head right
20:22
like I'm not good enough I'm not tall
20:23
enough I'm not small enough I'm not
20:25
successful enough I don't have enough
20:27
money and that story uh ends up carrying
20:30
a bunch of weight on us and so we sort
20:32
of walk through our lives with that
20:34
story and that's who I am so I was the
20:35
person who was almost good enough that's
20:38
how I saw myself almost I was almost
20:40
good I made a record with nas I'm on uh
20:43
Nas's um Lost Tapes 2 album my name is
20:46
David reneer on that album right so
20:48
again it was almost like I'm good but
20:51
not quite right that's how I felt about
20:53
myself and so there's many of you out
20:54
there listening right now who you feel
20:57
like you're not enough enough there's
20:59
something about you that you feel like
21:00
you're just not quite there you you have
21:02
things about yourself that you want to
21:03
change you don't know how to change and
21:05
you wish you were different but this is
21:07
what I'll say to you that you in and of
21:10
yourself are dope right now right this
21:13
minute as is what does as is mean as is
21:16
means I don't have to change nothing and
21:18
I'm still dope right now that if I make
21:21
it to the NBA great if I don't make it
21:22
to the NBA that's fine too like I'm
21:24
still good enough right now until you
21:27
understand that you'll always be chasing
21:30
something then I'm enough like once I
21:32
get here then I'm enough once I make it
21:33
to the NBA then I'm enough but the truth
21:35
of the matter is you're enough right now
21:37
right now right now right now right now
21:39
it doesn't take the it's not when it's
21:41
not if it's right now and once you
21:43
believe that in your soul it changes
21:44
your whole life and I believe it now in
21:46
my soul there you go David Weber man
21:49
thank you for sharing your truth brother
21:51
thank you man thank you for sharing your
21:53
truth this is David Weber that was our
21:55
our first mental health Mondays you
21:57
coming back next month let's do it let's
21:58
do it we're going to do it at the top of
22:00
every month all right David Weber could
22:02
be reached at David Weber Webb e rore
22:06
LPC this was great he gave out a phone
22:09
number as well yes phone number 404
22:11
9194775540891947755408
22:25
[Music]
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