Up next in 10
Discover expert insights on managing anger, grief, and acceptance in this powerful discussion from Sway In The Morning, featuring licensed clinical mental health counselor David Weber. In this emotional and thought-provoking episode, David explores the complexities of grief, the stages of emotional healing, and practical advice for setting boundaries and addressing self-absorption in relationships. Hear personal stories from callers navigating loss, therapy, and finding creative outlets for mental health support. Don’t miss this essential guide to healing and self-awareness.
Subscribe for more exclusive interviews and transformative conversations on Sway’s Universe. Watch now and join the dialogue! #SwayInTheMorning #DavidWeber #MentalHealth #Healing #Therapy
#redflags #narcissist #mentalhealth #selfish #boundaries
#personaldevelopment #depression #selfimprovement #cognitivebehavioraltherapy #anxiety
CHAPTERS:
00:00 - David Webb - Self Absorbed People
04:34 - Heather's Family Reunion - Family Dynamics
06:35 - Steve - Counseling Really Helps - Mental Health Support
11:02 - Tony from Queens - Personal Stories
16:27 - King Jamal from Portland - Community Insights
21:09 - Jamal from Texas - Regional Perspectives
22:15 - Heather B - Guest Insights
25:10 - Kirk Franklin - Inspirational Messages
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Show More Show Less View Video Transcript
0:00
All right, man. We still been talking
0:01
about this self-absorption thing. Like
0:03
Heather seemed to think I'm I don't
0:06
know.
0:06
Heather didn't seem to think Heather
0:08
asked, "Was it about yourself?" And you
0:12
said, "No." Why do you think I'm
0:13
self-absorbed? And I was like,
0:16
"Nothing." I didn't say anything. I just
0:18
was wondering if you were asking for a
0:20
friend. Wink wink.
0:22
I was asking for a friend. And um this
0:26
friend is in a situation where he feels
0:29
like he's dating someone that's
0:31
self-absorbed.
0:33
And I I asked him, "Well, why do you say
0:36
this?" And he said, "Because um whenever
0:41
we have conversations,
0:44
no matter what it is, it could be, "Oh
0:46
man, I twisted my ankle. Oh my gosh, I
0:50
went to the doctor. They put a a cast on
0:52
it." You know what? When I'm twisting my
0:55
ankles, they put a cast on two of them,
0:58
you know? So, every time they have a
1:00
conversation, he says it circles back to
1:03
this person. Um, also, when
1:08
he's speaking, the person doesn't always
1:11
pay attention.
1:12
But when that person is speaking,
1:16
they don't always uh they get mad if you
1:19
don't pay attention.
1:20
Of course. Okay.
1:21
All right. I got the notes right here,
1:22
Heather. I'm reading the notes right
1:24
here.
1:24
You really are.
1:25
You should have your diary.
1:27
Uh, no. I don't have issues like that.
1:30
Think of your problems. Okay. That the
1:32
other thing is that person has
1:34
difficulty empathizing
1:36
um with others.
1:37
Wow.
1:38
Okay.
1:38
You know, and but that this particular
1:41
person he says isn't aware of these
1:44
things. How do you make a person aware
1:47
of these things or is that your
1:48
responsibility?
1:50
And how do you learn to live with
1:52
someone like that? Cuz he loves her.
1:54
Yeah, there's a difference between
1:56
self-absorption and narcissism. So, I'm
1:58
glad he didn't use the word narcissist.
2:00
Okay.
2:00
Cuz we use that word a little bit too
2:02
much now. Everyone's a narcissist if
2:04
they don't agree with what I say. Okay.
2:05
Right. So, but it does sound
2:08
self-absorbed though, right? A
2:10
preoccupation with yourself, right? With
2:12
your own interest, your own whatever it
2:13
may be.
2:14
And uh how do you deal with that? In my
2:17
personal opinion,
2:19
it's only so many conversations you can
2:20
have before you had to put boundaries in
2:22
place and I got to be out.
2:23
Now, if I'm married, that's different. I
2:25
always say marriage is different. Okay?
2:27
But if I'm not married, no.
2:28
No, no, no, no. If I can't have a
2:30
conversation about what's going on in my
2:32
life without and you can't pay attention
2:35
to a conversation about what's going on
2:36
in my life and you make it about
2:37
yourself, nah, can't do it.
2:39
You feel like that person is never even
2:41
listening to you anyway.
2:42
They're not right. But it also too that
2:45
can be an anxiety thing. Sometimes when
2:46
people are very anxious, they kind of
2:48
they just start talking about
2:49
themselves. They just talking talking.
2:51
But she shouldn't still be experiencing
2:53
anxiety at this point in a relationship.
2:54
I wouldn't think. Yeah.
2:56
Um so if if you're having conversations
2:58
and you say,
2:59
by the way,
3:00
not that this person is, but often times
3:02
in relationships, we're scared to have
3:04
conversations. There's a fear of
3:06
of of rejection. There's a fear of the
3:08
person getting angry. There's a fear of
3:10
the of the
3:11
you know,
3:12
I have that. I'm not the confrontation
3:14
thing. I I I dread confrontation in in
3:16
conversation.
3:17
Now, now confrontation is different.
3:19
Yeah. If you
3:20
confrontation is different in
3:22
conversation. Okay.
3:23
Yeah. Yeah. So, you have you have these
3:25
extremes, right? On one extreme, you
3:27
have avoidance.
3:28
Uh-huh.
3:28
On the other extreme, you have
3:29
confrontation.
3:30
Come on.
3:30
But somewhere in the middle is confo
3:33
because I think things can lead to
3:37
confrontation.
3:39
It can, but
3:42
also that can get into people pleasing,
3:44
which is its own thing, which isn't a
3:46
good thing. You know, people pleasing is
3:48
not a good thing. You can be both loving
3:50
and kind and honest at the same time.
3:53
Okay.
3:53
You can you can be all of those things.
3:55
It's not one or the other. It's not me
3:56
cussing you out or right, I can I can
3:59
tell you and be honest about my
4:01
boundaries and where I'm at.
4:02
Yeah.
4:03
And be kind and loving at the same time.
4:05
So, having a conversation with your
4:06
partner and saying, "Babe, listen. I
4:08
love you and I love you and I need you
4:12
to listen when I'm talking about some
4:14
things going on in my own life.
4:16
And if that's not something you can do,
4:17
let me know.
4:18
I like that. And what do you say to the
4:21
person who is self-absorbed and doesn't
4:22
realize it and comes to that
4:24
realization? How how do you
4:26
Sometimes life got to teach them,
4:29
you know?
4:30
Okay.
4:30
Let's just Let's just be real about it.
4:32
D David Weber's here. Heather had a
4:34
question too about family.
4:36
Yeah. really quickly because I know we
4:37
got a lot of callers calling in. But
4:39
David, my question was, you know, it's
4:42
summertime. I was inspired by Sway to
4:44
try to get some of the family members
4:45
together on both sides, my family as
4:47
well as my husband's just to kind of
4:49
barbecue cookout, not necessarily a
4:51
full-blown out family reunion. That can
4:53
be a lot, you know, to start off with.
4:56
But I also realize there's some issues
4:58
and um, you know, people don't want to
5:00
come, people don't want to be bothered.
5:02
Then there's the financial side of it
5:04
all. Traveling and getting places.
5:07
How do you would you recommend because I
5:08
was saying to horse um and my brothers
5:11
actually. Maybe we should just start
5:13
small.
5:14
I love that.
5:14
Just start small and and and hopefully
5:16
no one takes offense. Maybe this year,
5:19
you know, start with 10 people and then
5:21
hopefully it can grow out. Is that
5:23
I love that. And if they do take
5:24
offense, that's their issue. It's not
5:26
your issue.
5:27
You know what I mean? Like one of the
5:29
things that that we learned in grad
5:31
school a lot was about separating your
5:33
issues from the client's issues. So when
5:35
they're talking or they they have an
5:37
issue, they're talking about a family
5:38
member, whatever it may be, and suddenly
5:41
I'm thinking about someone in my family.
5:42
And now so now I'm making their issue my
5:45
issue.
5:46
And they call that counter transference
5:48
or whatever it's called. Um and so I'm
5:50
saying that to say that your issue is
5:52
your issue. If you have an issue with me
5:54
having a small gathering at at my own
5:55
home and me inviting who I want to
5:57
invite, that's not my problem. That's
5:58
your problem.
5:59
Facts.
6:00
Right? Like I'm allowed to invite
6:01
whoever I want to invite
6:02
at my home.
6:03
At my own home and if you have an issue,
6:05
that's your issue, not my issue. Got it.
6:07
You know, and so it sounds mean. I'm not
6:09
trying to sound mean. It's just the
6:11
truth. Like that's your problem. It's
6:12
not my problem.
6:13
Yeah. You can't be sensitive with David
6:15
Weber.
6:17
No. And it's just that I think sometimes
6:19
that like to just get started
6:22
and whatever goes from there it goes
6:24
from there. But you're right.
6:25
Yeah. And people are all I mean
6:27
you can invite everybody and then one
6:29
person got left out and they would have
6:30
an issue.
6:31
There's something wrong with that.
6:31
There's still something wrong with that
6:32
you know. Thank you.
6:34
We got Steve on the line from North
6:35
Carolina. What up Steve? We got David
6:37
Weber citizens. He is a licensed uh
6:41
clinical mental health counselor uh with
6:43
a master's degree and he does a lot of
6:46
other things as well. He got a lot of
6:47
other credentials, but if you want to
6:49
talk with him, 888742
6:51
3345 minus the invoice. Call up. All
6:54
right. Go ahead, Steve.
6:57
Hey, how y'all doing today? Um it's
6:59
funny. I was just talking to my aunt and
7:01
my uncle about some situations that's
7:04
starting to happen again. But I'm 49.
7:07
Um, you know, 20 and 30, I didn't didn't
7:10
think I needed counseling. I kind of
7:12
figured I already knew what my problem
7:13
was. You know, got an attitude problem.
7:15
I can go from zero to 80 real fast just
7:17
with my mouth. Not really a fighter, but
7:20
my mouth has got me in a lot of trouble.
7:22
I will say things got really rough with
7:26
my marriage. Uh, again with me going,
7:29
you know, holding things in and then
7:32
once you argue, that argument turns into
7:34
a big argument. So, um, I started going
7:38
to counseling. I had to move out of my
7:40
house for a year and I started going to
7:43
counseling. Thought maybe, you know, at
7:46
the time I was thinking I needed
7:47
marriage counseling and I don't know
7:49
what happened, but I end up going to
7:51
counseling for myself and man, I learned
7:54
a lot. So, I just want to say if you
7:57
don't think you need it, if you don't
7:58
think it helps, trust me, it helps
8:00
because it helped me be a better person.
8:03
Now, my marriage probably won't
8:06
continue, and that's fine. I've learned
8:09
a lot of things. I've learned how to
8:11
deal with things better. Not going from
8:13
0 to 80. I might go from 0 to 20, 0 to
8:16
30,
8:16
but just you, you know, just the
8:20
counseling really helped me. It really
8:22
helped.
8:22
That counseling really helped. Give that
8:24
a round of Yeah, man. Man, I love that
8:26
you said that because you probably
8:27
didn't even think about it in the past,
8:29
right? Yeah.
8:31
You walk in and you find out, damn, this
8:32
is something I could have been doing all
8:34
along.
8:34
Yeah. I didn't even
8:35
Well, yeah. And that's the Yeah, that's
8:37
the other thing. You know, I should have
8:39
went when I was 20 or 30. Maybe my
8:41
marriage may have l may maybe will would
8:44
have lasted at this point, but you know,
8:46
I didn't. I'm going now. And I will say
8:50
I'm trying to become a better person
8:52
again, you know. So, but it helps.
8:54
I tell all of my friends, and I'm not
8:55
embarrassed to say it. Hey, you got to
8:57
try that counseling, man. It helps. love
8:59
that advocacy
9:02
for sure. I didn't even meet a therapist
9:04
until I until I became a therapist until
9:05
I went to grad school. I I had never
9:07
even met one.
9:09
Um and so, you know, I met doctors as a
9:11
kid. I met lawyers as a kid. I never met
9:13
a therapist before.
9:14
And that the the one of the big lies is
9:18
that something must be wrong with you.
9:19
If you go to therapy, you must have an
9:21
issue. That's not the case
9:22
that you have an issue. You may want to
9:24
process something out. I know for me, I
9:27
need a therapist to process whatever is
9:29
going on inside of me. And so for me, uh
9:31
especially as it relates to
9:33
self-awareness, I think therapists are
9:35
great at uh helping you, supporting you,
9:37
and getting to know yourself and being
9:39
honest with yourself about yourself,
9:40
which is one of the most difficult
9:41
things you can do.
9:42
David, do you think it's difficult for
9:44
people to switch therapists? Like if
9:46
you've been in therapy for 10 years or
9:50
15, I don't know what's a long time, but
9:51
I'm Okay, let's say 15 years.
9:53
A long time. Yeah.
9:54
All right. and you're still kind of
9:56
dealing with issues. Is that too long?
9:57
Maybe you should switch.
9:59
Absolutely. Switch. For sure. And if the
10:01
therapist is in their feelings, again,
10:02
that's their problem,
10:03
right? Because we're taught that that we
10:05
can't take that personally. We want to
10:06
get you the best help that we can get
10:08
you. If it's not working after a year,
10:10
if it's not working after a year and a
10:11
half and you don't see any growth or
10:13
you're not feeling any growth, find
10:15
another therapist and be honest with
10:16
your therapist about that. I I feel like
10:18
this isn't working. I feel like I'm not
10:20
getting the skills that I think I need.
10:22
And that therapist will be supportive of
10:24
you and help you find someone else.
10:25
Got it.
10:26
Hey, Steve, you're a citizen, man. Thank
10:27
you for your call.
10:28
Yes, sir.
10:29
And and and I'm sorry, I got one more
10:31
question. Can I Can I give
10:32
No, no. You're a citizen. That means
10:33
that means that means
10:35
I got to get to other callers. Okay.
10:37
Yes, sir.
10:38
Whoever's in demand.
10:41
Thank you, brother.
10:42
He wanted to know about the shower head.
10:43
Oh, the shower head is incredible. We
10:44
just got new filters.
10:46
It's the Aphina. AF I N A.
10:48
Okay, Steve, get the Athena.
10:50
Thank you so much. All right, brother.
10:53
I I listen. I used to do I used to hang
10:55
up.
10:56
Okay. You're getting better.
10:57
Because I went to therapy.
10:58
That's good.
11:01
My patience is better, man. Yeah, bro.
11:04
Tony and Queens, welcome to the show,
11:06
Tony.
11:06
What up, T?
11:07
Good morning. Good morning. Appreciate
11:09
you. Uh,
11:10
good morning.
11:10
Long time listener, long time caller. We
11:13
done met Sway at Fred the G on Street
11:16
name. like it's been a lot that I've
11:18
been going through the last past couple
11:20
of years.
11:21
Um,
11:22
and it has weighed on me. I've never
11:26
done therapy. I've been a trouble kid
11:27
like fighting from Southside, so it's in
11:31
me.
11:32
Um,
11:32
okay.
11:34
I don't say okay like that way. But
11:38
you said Southside, I got it, Tone. I'm,
11:40
you know,
11:42
but go for it, brother. Let me let me
11:44
get out the way. Go ahead. like I've
11:45
I've battled depression on my own um
11:50
prior military so maybe PTSD um
11:54
contemplated suicide
11:56
couple of times and
11:59
therapy wasn't an option for me and
12:04
I fought my way out of that on my own by
12:08
being a creative
12:10
being an artist wasn't something that I
12:13
I ever thought that I could be able to
12:15
do like um I paint.
12:19
Um and that took me out of the dark spot
12:23
that I was in.
12:25
Being able to create create and people
12:28
seeing what I was able to do to release
12:32
that that that cloud from over me.
12:37
Um,
12:39
and it it's it's it's beautiful. Like if
12:43
you can find find a way to channel that
12:47
hardship
12:49
into a creative space
12:52
like everybody doesn't like health
12:54
insurance and coverage. A lot of people
12:57
don't have the ability to be able to
13:00
afford to go to a therapist.
13:03
Um, and that was at that point where I
13:06
was like I couldn't afford a therapist.
13:08
I didn't have health insurance.
13:10
Now I do.
13:13
But prior to that, my only way out of
13:15
that dark cloud was to create.
13:20
And when I put it online,
13:24
it blew up. And that wasn't something
13:26
that I was looking for, but I was able
13:29
to sell my paintings. And that just
13:32
brought me joy after doing that for a
13:34
year. People wanting something that I
13:37
made
13:39
and it came out of a dark place.
13:43
That's what's up. What you describe and
13:45
thanks for your call. But what what you
13:47
describe in therapy, we call those
13:49
coping skills, right? And so whether
13:52
you're experiencing depression or
13:53
anxiety or whatever it may be, yours is
13:56
as an artist, you use a gift that you
13:59
have. And that helps you cope. It helps
14:02
you get out of depression or whatever
14:04
else it may be that's going on with you.
14:06
For someone else, it may be journaling.
14:07
For someone else, it may be writing or
14:09
poetry. For for for someone else, it's
14:11
making music. Uh walking is a coping
14:14
skill. Uh talking to friends or having a
14:16
mentor. Uh speaking to those people
14:18
could be a coping skill. Um, so you're
14:21
right. A lot of people don't have access
14:23
to therapists, particularly black male
14:25
therapists. There just not a lot of us.
14:27
There's not, right? And so if you're
14:30
looking for that and you don't feel like
14:31
you have the resources for that, you
14:32
don't feel like you have someone you can
14:34
talk to, using coping skills like
14:36
reading or writing or journaling or
14:38
painting are are excellent for helping
14:41
you cope, help helping you get through
14:43
uh really difficult times.
14:47
Definitely. Thank you. Appreciate it.
14:50
Tony, where are you now, man? How's your
14:51
mind now? How you doing? How you
14:53
navigating life?
14:55
I'm doing great. Um,
14:58
job is good. I'm on my way to my to the
15:01
Hamptons right now. Seem like every time
15:02
I call y'all, I'm on my way to the
15:03
Hamptons. But, um,
15:09
but um, like life is life is good. It's
15:12
not great. It can always be better,
15:14
but it's good.
15:18
Good, man. Hey, brother. It's great to
15:20
hear you say that
15:22
because you're looking at the upside of
15:23
things.
15:24
No doubt.
15:25
And that's important. That's all that's
15:27
all about mindset. Tony, I I'm curious
15:29
about your art, man. Tag me on something
15:31
so I can see it. Okay.
15:33
Um, you can go to it's pors p o rs for f
15:39
o r yours. Y O R S. Pause for yours on
15:43
Instagram.
15:45
I'mma check you out, brother. I'm glad
15:47
you're in a great place. Uh stay
15:49
consistent and keep loving you, man. We
15:52
appreciate you, brother. You're a super
15:53
citizen. Okay.
15:54
A swway in the morning.
15:55
Definitely. Love y'all. Appreciate it.
15:57
Love you, man. Love you, too, man.
15:59
Wow. The lines are lit up, man. We We're
16:01
here with David Weber. You can also
16:03
reach David Weber directly. I don't want
16:05
you to just rely on the show, right?
16:06
Yeah. Please hit me up directly on
16:08
Instagram today. Uh my Instagram is
16:10
David Weber_LPC.
16:13
as David Webb BB_LPC.
16:17
Hit me up. If you don't have that,
16:19
please use that first. That's the
16:20
quickest way for me to contact you. If
16:22
you don't have that, just email me at
16:24
davidweberlpcgmail.com.
16:27
Okay, we got King Jamal on the line from
16:28
Portland. King Jamal, welcome to the
16:30
show.
16:31
Hey, King.
16:32
Good morning. Good morning. First time
16:34
caller.
16:35
First time caller, give him the
16:36
greeting. Get him, Tyler.
16:40
[Music]
16:42
Hey, welcome to the session.
16:44
Appreciate it. Wow.
16:45
Thank you very much, brother.
16:47
Man, I've never uh spoken to a
16:48
therapist. I guess I got a little
16:50
perception like what do they know? I'm
16:52
thinking everybody go through family
16:54
issues. So, what can they tell me about
16:56
mine that you know that they ain't going
16:58
through with theirs
16:59
or they never walk through my shoes? And
17:01
uh
17:02
so right now my heart is real heavy. I
17:04
lost my mother last month and uh it
17:07
seems like you know being the oldest
17:09
child everything is on me and family
17:12
they didn't step up physically, mentally
17:15
or emotionally to I guess maybe to my
17:17
standard or maybe I put too much
17:19
expectations on them.
17:21
But I'm just grieving. I'm mad at the
17:23
world. I've been just crying every day
17:26
40 days, 40 nights. It's just it's a
17:28
pain like no other. It's just
17:30
unbearable.
17:31
And I I just I just don't know what to
17:34
do, who to talk to. I'm just
17:36
disappointed in the world, mad at the
17:38
world, mad at just just mad at
17:40
everybody. I just don't know what to do,
17:42
what to go left or right, up or down.
17:47
That's real. Sorry to hear about your
17:49
loss.
17:50
Yeah, I'm sorry to hear about your loss,
17:52
man. If you don't mind, man, let's
17:54
acknowledge your mom.
17:55
Yeah. Listen to say her name three times
17:57
so we can signify her presence on this
18:00
earth in the physical and the spiritual.
18:02
Man, let's celebrate her. Can you say
18:04
her name three times?
18:06
Felicia Aneter. Felicia Aneter. Felicia
18:10
Aneter.
18:11
Give her Felicia Anjeter a round of
18:13
applause, man.
18:14
Yes. Yes. Yes.
18:15
She raised an amazing son. What would
18:17
you say to him, David Weber?
18:19
Yeah. First off, thank you for calling
18:21
and u I hope I hope I'm able to help you
18:24
today. Um, after this I'm I want to get
18:27
your contact information and call you
18:28
and try to hook you up with a therapist
18:30
uh uh personally. Uh, number one,
18:33
there's there's for people who don't
18:34
know, there are five stages of grief
18:36
that we talk about in therapy. And it
18:38
sounds like right now the stage that
18:40
you're in is anger, which is normal,
18:43
which is normal. So, you're not
18:44
experiencing anything that's wrong. So,
18:47
the first stage is denial. The second
18:48
stage is anger. The third stage is
18:51
bargaining. The fourth stage is
18:52
depression. And the fifth stage is
18:54
acceptance. And those stages aren't
18:56
linear. In other words, it doesn't mean
18:58
you go from from denial, then to anger,
19:00
then to bargaining. It doesn't it
19:02
doesn't work that way. You may be in
19:03
denial at first and then feel like you
19:05
have acceptance and then you're back to
19:07
denial and then you're angry and then
19:09
you're depressed and you're back to
19:10
anger and then you're back to denial.
19:12
Right? So, it's all over the place. And
19:14
right now, you have a right to be mad.
19:16
And sometimes, by the way, not just for
19:18
you, but for people listening, sometimes
19:20
people are angry at the person for
19:23
dying, for something they didn't give
19:25
them, something they didn't say,
19:26
something they, you know, when I say
19:28
give them, I mean emotionally or
19:29
whatever it may be. Sometimes you're mad
19:30
at the person for putting themselves in
19:32
that position or not taking care of
19:33
their body. Sometimes you're mad at them
19:35
for all different types of things.
19:37
That's normal, too. Sometimes you're mad
19:39
at yourself
19:40
for for not having a better relationship
19:43
or not saying I love you on that last
19:45
phone call or you know last week you
19:47
said I was going to call you back and
19:48
you didn't call back or whatever it may
19:50
be. So being mad at them is normal.
19:52
Being angry with yourself is normal. Um
19:55
going through the different stages of
19:56
grief is normal. And grieving the way
19:58
that you grieve is normal. I'm not going
20:00
to grieve like you. You may not grieve
20:02
like me. I may get quiet. You may be
20:04
making jokes and talking and laughing
20:06
and having a good time. Everybody is
20:08
different and right now the stage that
20:09
you're in right now is anger and that's
20:11
okay. So having acceptance as it relates
20:14
to my anger. I'm angry. I'm angry at the
20:17
world. I'm angry at her. I may be angry
20:18
at myself and that's okay. So not
20:21
judging yourself for being for the stage
20:23
that you're currently in. Not judging
20:25
yourself for the stage that you're
20:28
currently in.
20:31
Thank you. I really needed to hear that
20:32
cuz I I kind of felt like I been hard on
20:34
myself and uh I'm probably my biggest
20:36
critic. So, I just feel like I'm being
20:39
real hard on myself and
20:42
Yeah. I just Yeah.
20:44
Yeah.
20:45
That's hard to navigate through it
20:47
without no uh
20:49
you know, just I feel like my mother was
20:50
my north star and now that she's gone, I
20:53
just feel like I'm lost and I'll never
20:56
be able to find my way back home out
20:58
here. And even at 43, it's just it's
21:01
just unbearable pain.
21:04
I just really don't know what to do. And
21:05
I got to keep it strong for my little
21:07
sister.
21:08
Just can I just I want to I want to
21:12
share something with you because we
21:13
actually have that in common. Um and I'm
21:15
the oldest as well. And it it took um
21:19
years for me to get over my anger. and
21:21
and and at times I was embarrassed to
21:24
say that because I kept trying to put on
21:26
a strong front, but it took years for me
21:28
to get over the anger um with the death
21:30
of my mom. And and a lot of what you
21:32
saying I relate to that. But it
21:34
honestly, my younger brother said
21:36
something to me and he said, "You have
21:39
to stop judging people in death."
21:43
And it it it it hit me like a ton of
21:46
bricks. And I said, "What do you mean?"
21:47
He said,
21:48
"Your mind now is working in overdrive.
21:51
You mad because this person didn't send
21:53
a card, this person didn't show up. You
21:56
thought we should have helped more,
21:57
could have helped more. You're not
21:59
allowing us to process. It's our mother,
22:02
too.
22:03
She was somebody else's wife or sister
22:05
or you're not allowing them. This is how
22:08
you're grieving,
22:09
but you're mad at their grief when you
22:11
haven't really dealt with your own.
22:13
So, if if it helps a little bit, Jamal,
22:16
that
22:16
you know, you're going to need that time
22:17
for yourself. Yeah, it makes it made
22:19
sense for me later, you know, but um
22:22
hopefully that'll when you get angry,
22:24
you'll think about that, you know,
22:25
judging others
22:26
during death. It you know, it's a that's
22:29
a process.
22:29
I've been mad at first cousins. I've
22:31
been mad at my dad. Like, you know, he
22:33
I'm like,
22:34
I was mad at everybody. I was horrible
22:36
to work with way.
22:37
Yeah, it was bad, man.
22:39
I had to deal with it. Jamal mad at him,
22:42
too.
22:42
Yeah. I want to be empathetic towards
22:44
Heather. Heather would come in mad for
22:46
No, she was mad. Yeah, we first walk in
22:48
the door. I didn't say nothing to her.
22:50
David,
22:50
that's real.
22:51
Can you counsel us?
22:52
I got you.
22:53
I got you. All right. Um, but Jamal,
22:55
lean into your faith. Appreciate
22:56
y'all so much. Appreciate that.
22:58
Yeah. Lean into your faith, Jamal. That
23:00
was definitely the answer.
23:01
Let go and let God. That's what I had to
23:03
do with my grandmother,
23:05
right? And I was angry and I was angry
23:07
at people.
23:08
Yeah.
23:09
You know, I put a lot in I spend a lot
23:12
of time with her. I had to let go, let
23:14
God. That's something she taught me.
23:16
Jamal,
23:17
right?
23:18
But you're not alone in this. As you can
23:20
see, David Weber is kind of profiling
23:22
these emotions because we're human. We
23:25
go through these things, right?
23:26
We're human. And and and grief doesn't
23:29
have an end date. You know how you go to
23:30
school, there's an end date. I graduate
23:32
in June. There's no end date with grief,
23:35
right? So, so it's not like when I get
23:37
to this point, the grief will be over.
23:39
The grief on some level will always be
23:41
there. At the same time, I think love
23:43
what you said earlier, Sway, how do we
23:45
honor her moving forward that relieves
23:48
and helps uh some of the grief? How do
23:51
you honor her? Do you honor her through
23:52
writing? Do you honor her? Do you have a
23:54
a picnic every year that will celebrate
23:56
her life? Do you bring family together?
23:59
Finding ways to honor her um I think
24:02
will help in the grieving process. And
24:04
then, uh like I said earlier, there's no
24:05
right or wrong way to grieve. You grieve
24:07
the way that you grieve. Other people
24:09
grieve the way that they grieve. And
24:10
thank you for sharing that story uh
24:12
Heather B because that that's that's
24:14
real and people experience that. And
24:16
also mo emotions are complicated.
24:18
Emotions aren't simple. I just don't
24:19
experience
24:20
only grief or only sadness or only
24:23
anger. It may be a combination of
24:25
different things at the same time and I
24:27
don't even know which one it is.
24:28
Right? So if you're having complicated
24:31
grief is what it's called in DSM5 which
24:33
is the book the book we use to diagnose
24:35
um our clients. If you're having
24:37
complicated grief, you're experiencing
24:39
all different types of emotion that is
24:41
happening over a long period of time.
24:42
And so that may be possible as well. So
24:44
I'm I'm I'mma get your number. I'm going
24:46
to give you give you a call. We'll try
24:48
to get you some help. All right?
24:49
And I and if you find a little help,
24:51
I'll take care of his. If you do take
24:53
the help, I'll take care of your first
24:55
10 sessions cuz you got to do a minimum
24:58
10 for sure to begin with. Okay, Jamal.
25:00
So go ahead and receive that.
25:02
Receive that, brother. Say her name
25:04
three times again. Let's celebrate her
25:05
once again. Come on, say her name.
25:08
Felicia Aneter. Felicia Aneter. Felicia
25:11
Aneter. I love you, Mom. I miss
25:15
you. We love you, too, King Jamal. We
25:17
love you, brother. You a super citizen.
25:18
That's way in the morning.
25:20
And we got your information. Okay, hold
25:22
your head. All right, David Weber, hang
25:24
out. We got Kirk Franklin up next. All
25:26
for shot.