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Hi everyone. I'm Kelly O'Hora.
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And this is Adaptable Behavior
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Explained. Welcome back to Adaptable
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Behavior Explained. I'm your host, Kelly
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O'Hora, and today we're going to talk
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about a form of trauma that is
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incredibly common, deeply misunderstood,
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and often minimized, even by people who
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are experiencing it. We're talking about
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If you have ever survived a heart
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attack, a pulmonary embolism, a stroke,
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a diagnosis for disease like cancer, a
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traumatic accident like a car accident,
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or any other type of serious injury, and
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then wondered, "Why don't I feel okay
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even though it's over and that I
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This episode is for you. Because when we
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survive something, it doesn't
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automatically mean that our nervous
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system knows that we're safe or that our
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brain has been updated with today's
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So, here's what I want you to hear
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clearly. You can be profoundly
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traumatized by something your body lived
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through, even if everyone tells you,
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"You're lucky to be alive."
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Medical trauma isn't just about what
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happened to you. It's about what your
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brain and body learned throughout the
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process of the situation. So, in this
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episode, you're going to learn why
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medical events are often stored as
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trauma in the brain, how the brain
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categorizes threat to life and keeps you
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braced waiting for the other shoe to
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drop, why so many people feel like
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they're waiting for the other shoe to
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drop, and the grief that comes when your
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body can't return to what it once could
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And then we're going to talk about the
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good stuff. How EMDR therapy helps the
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brain update after medical trauma or an
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So, let's get to some basics here. Why
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are medical events traumatic?
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Here's the truth. Trauma isn't defined
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by an event. It's defined by how
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overwhelmed or helpless or powerless we
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felt at the time something happened.
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Medical trauma often includes a sudden
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loss of our bodily autonomy. Even when I
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tore my ACL, I couldn't sit down to go
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to the bathroom without help at first,
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and I was so angry about it. So, we
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really minimize or under-report how we
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are emotionally impacted by certain
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things. Invasive procedures can put us
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in that sense of helplessness,
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um uncertainty, waiting for diagnoses or
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doctor's report or test results to come
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in. And then, lack of control over
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outcomes or timelines that we have to go
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through when we're dealing with these
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things. So, some examples of medical
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trauma that might happen to you or
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someone you love or know are things like
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heart attacks, pulmonary embolisms,
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diagnoses for different illnesses or
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diseases, um autoimmune diagnoses,
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emergency surgeries, going to the ICU
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for something serious. And then, things
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that most people would consider trauma
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like traumatic injuries from accidents
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or falls. Chronic illnesses with
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unpredictable flare-ups are another one
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that I often see in my offices or my
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office. And so, when your life is
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threatened, your brain does exactly what
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it's designed to do. It sounds the
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alarm. And so, now we're going to talk a
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little bit more about the brain threat
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and why we sometimes stay braced when
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we've been through something really
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Our brains are prediction machines or
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prediction engines. Once a biological
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threat happens, the brain says, "This
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nearly killed us. I will not let that
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happen again." So, it stays on high
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alert, and sometimes we even kind of
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inaccurately think about things that we
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do as reasons that we can prevent it or
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keep ourselves safe. So, that part of
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our brain can stay on high alert, and it
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can look like hyper-vigilance to bodily
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sensations. These are the people that
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are like chronically saying, "What's
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this? What does that mean? Something's
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wrong." And they make a bigger deal out
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of something than is necessary because
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they're looking for those threat cues.
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There can be anxiety about symptoms or
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medical appointments. "What's the doctor
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going to say? When is it going to
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happen? What if it's too long? How do I
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get in sooner?" And then there can be
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panic when the body feels off. And for
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those of you who've been following me
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for a while, panic is part of the grief
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system or the loss system. And so we
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start to kind of freak out about what
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might be going wrong that will put us in
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imminent threat. Uh we can also have
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difficulty relaxing or trusting that our
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body is okay, which kind of creates a
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self-fulfilling prophecy in that we
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become more nervous and anxious when
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we're worrying about something not being
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okay or something bad coming. And then
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constantly waiting for something bad to
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happen creates stress like I just talked
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about. So there's a there's a feeling
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that some people describe as that
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waiting for the other shoe to drop. And
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that's basically a braced nervous system
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that's on high alert or vigilant. So
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your brain hasn't updated yet with the
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fact that the issue is over, it's being
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treated, you've got your outcome given
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to you, you're healed even, there's no
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more medical reason for you to have any
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physical response. So now we're going to
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talk a little bit about the
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powerlessness and the fear or the loss
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of control that often happens during one
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of these medical crises.
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Medical trauma is uniquely powerful
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because you can't outrun it, we don't
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ever choose when it's happening, we
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can't fight it, we need our bodies to be
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in existence, so we we have to work
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through it. And often there's so much
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powerlessness because there's nothing we
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can do, we can't fix it. Someone else is
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making the decisions. Usually medical
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providers are telling us what our
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options or choices are. And so then we
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have to make choice points that don't
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maybe line up with being in control.
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And so, our body is doing things without
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our permission. And healing timelines
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can be unclear and sometimes in more
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dire situations endless, where there's
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not any potential hope for it to be
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And so, this powerlessness creates
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chronic stress in our bodies. It creates
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anxiety, often times hopelessness or
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fear of the future of the life that we
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once imagined for ourselves. And we can
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go into some resentment or feelings of
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betrayal by our own bodies. And then,
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when we get through with all of those
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complicated emotions, there's often
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grief that we are doing everything in
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our darn power to avoid feeling.
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But, I can tell you that grief is how we
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move through to get back to a place of
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So, we have to grieve the body that we
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once had or our state of being that we
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were once able to adapt. And this is the
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piece that does not get talked about
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enough. And if you think about it,
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medical doctors aren't trained in this
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area. So, they're giving you data or
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points of fact or statistics around
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whatever's going on, but they're not
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usually talking to us about the
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emotional toll and turmoil that happens
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related to medical issues. And sometimes
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healing doesn't mean that we get to go
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back to the way it used to be.
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So, if your body can't do what it once
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did, maybe it tires more easily, maybe
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it functions differently and you have to
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learn other ways to respond or react to
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the situation or your environment, or
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accommodate things that you used to be
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able to do or get more help than you
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want to ask for, there's real loss
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there. And that's something that most of
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us end up having to face at some point
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in our life. And grief isn't weakness.
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Grief is a natural, biological,
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affective circuit that we're wired to
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have, and it's an important aspect of
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our human condition to pay attention to,
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Because unprocessed grief can keep our
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experience, our trauma, the medical
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situation that we were talking about
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stuck as if it's still happening even
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when the threat has passed.
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So the good news is there is therapy
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that can help with this and it's some of
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the most powerful and exciting work that
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I like to do in my own practice because
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EMDR therapy helps heal medical trauma.
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And it's super powerful especially if
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the event or the scenario that happened
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Because trauma memories are often stored
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as sensations in our body. We get stuck
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with images or visuals that we can't
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seem to unlock. There are emotions that
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happened at the time of an event that
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seem to stay on like they're live and
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with those things come beliefs like I'm
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not safe or I'm damaged or my body will
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fail me. And in medical trauma the brain
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often hasn't received the updated
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messages like this is over. I survived.
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I can heal. My body's okay. I can be
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okay or I can learn or I can adapt.
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These are all more functional thoughts
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that we can have about our situations if
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we work through the emotional
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experiences that often times got stuck
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in trauma time based on what happened at
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the time of the event.
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So with EMDR therapy we can update the
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brain or kind of defrag the system. And
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so through bilateral stimulation and
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other forms of taxation of memory EMDR
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allows our nervous system to reprocess
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the traumatic medical memories and the
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shock of the situations that happened,
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the pain that is often associated with
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issues and incidents and it helps to
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integrate our current medical reality.
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It brings down our hypervigilance and it
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helps us to restore trust in our body
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because our bodies are so magnificent
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and they can really heal from so many
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things. Now, I realize that not all
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illnesses can be healed from and not all
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diseases are curable. And it doesn't
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change EMDR doesn't change that point of
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fact, but what it can help us to do is
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help us to change our relationship with
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It can help us to grieve what was, what
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we wanted, what we imagined and shift us
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into a perspective that is no longer
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about survival, but more about presence
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and acceptance. And I [clears throat]
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know that's not the answer that some of
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you want to hear depending on what you
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have gone through, but if bad things are
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going to happen and we don't have any
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control about that, then wouldn't it be
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better if we could get to a place of
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peace with our circumstances as they are
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And so our brain can learn that was
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then, this is now and I can adapt a more
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functional way to think about whatever
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it is that I've been through. And so
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EMDR doesn't erase what happened, it
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helps us to live without constant fear.
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It helps us to respond instead of react.
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It helps us to feel more at home or
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present in our body.
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And it helps us to grieve what was lost
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while honoring what remains and is still
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present for us to experience.
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And the healing means that our body no
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longer has to scream to be heard. The
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dashboard of unawareness gets to quiet
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down and be more settled.
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So, let's recap. Medical trauma is real
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and it's valid and it's often under
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reported and minimized. And the brain
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stays braced after life-threatening
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events because we're biologically wired
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to try to protect ourselves and our
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survival response happens. And then the
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powerlessness and uncertainty can
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And then grief is often part of the
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EMDR helps our brain to update and
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integrate safety of now or acceptance of
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current circumstances. So if your body
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has lived through something
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overwhelming, you're not broken, you're
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adaptive. And when you think about what
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it's been through, it deserves the time
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and the love and the honor and the
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respect about what it's had to deal
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with. And so do you. So if this episode
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resonated with you, please make sure to
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share it with somebody that could
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benefit and subscribe to our channel or
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leave us some comments about how you've
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experienced this or maybe if you need
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some more resources to find an EMDR
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therapist in your area, we can give you
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a hand with that. Thank you so much for
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tuning in. And if you are someone who's
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going through one of these examples that
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I talked about, please know that you're
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not alone and there is hope.
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Thank you so much and until next time,
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don't forget to lead with love. It'll
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never steer you wrong.
