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Surrendering My Will to God | Channel Updates + Knowing When to Step Away
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0:00
I would be lying if I said that I've
0:02
always walked in God's will in a way of
0:06
which I have completely surrendered my
0:08
will to his. I have before in the past.
0:12
And so I know what it feels like to
0:14
completely surrender the things that you
0:17
want to do with your life and the plans
0:18
that you have set out for yourself to
0:22
God's will and what he has planned for
0:24
you and your life. However, recently
0:27
I've been feeling a bit convicted
0:30
and feeling like God has been calling me
0:33
to
0:35
surrender and slow down certain parts of
0:38
my life. And if you've been here on this
0:40
channel for a while or had seen any of
0:43
my more recent videos, then you know I
0:45
talk a lot about slow living and just
0:46
slowing down in life. And that's because
0:49
I felt that calling from God. And in
0:52
many areas of my life, I did slow down.
0:54
However, there are parts of my life that
0:57
I kind of didn't and it was intentional.
1:01
Content creation and my business, my
1:05
online e-commerce store, things like
1:07
that. Those are the areas of my life
1:10
that took up a bulk of my time and those
1:14
are the areas of my life that I was not
1:18
honestly willing to surrender over to
1:23
the Lord. And there's one thing to not
1:26
know when God is calling you to do
1:28
something and not know when you're doing
1:30
something that is out of his will and
1:33
continue to do it. There's a difference
1:36
in knowing
1:39
that God is calling you to do something
1:40
and just blatantly ignoring it. And I
1:43
thought that I was just skating under
1:44
the radar. And I'm like, I'm not really
1:46
doing anything like sinful. I'm not
1:49
doing anything bad. But in a way I kind
1:53
of was and so
1:56
I took a break from social media
2:00
completely including my work because
2:02
that's the thing taking a break from
2:04
social media it's a lot easier when
2:07
social media isn't connected to the work
2:10
that you do having an e-commerce store I
2:13
do a lot of my marketing online as well
2:16
so social media is connected to that but
2:19
also as a YouTuber.
2:21
That is another way in which social
2:23
media is connected to my work. And the
2:26
thing is that our identity can easily
2:29
become formed in whatever it is that we
2:32
do every single day, whatever we spend
2:33
the most time doing. And so for moms,
2:37
for instance, you are doing that every
2:40
single day 24/7. People ask you, you
2:42
know, what do you do? And they ask you
2:44
to explain, you know, who you are.
2:46
You'll be like, I'm a wife, you know,
2:48
I'm a mom. Um, and then the next thing
2:50
you might mention is whatever you do in
2:52
life as your career. Being a YouTuber
2:55
definitely had become a part of my
2:57
identity. I was a wife, a mom, a
3:01
YouTuber, a small business owner, right?
3:04
However, those things all took priority
3:07
over being a disciple of the Lord. And
3:12
as a mom, I feel like I'm discipling my
3:15
children every single day. And as a
3:18
content creator, I try to share my, you
3:22
know, my faith journey, my Christian
3:24
walk, and just inspire other women,
3:27
other moms when it comes to biblical
3:30
motherhood and womanhood and Christian
3:34
marriage and things like that. That is
3:36
how I strive to not only be a disciple
3:39
of the Lord, but to disciple others, to
3:42
bring others to Christ as well. And in
3:45
my close relationship with other people,
3:48
I just try to model a Christlike life.
3:53
For a while, I was pretty lost in
3:55
content creation. I was stibling and
3:57
dabbling in different niches and things
3:59
like that. But monetization
4:01
quickly
4:03
started to take heat and it kind of made
4:07
content creation a little bit more
4:09
difficult. Whenever you have a hobby,
4:11
something that you love doing and you
4:13
convert that hobby to a business, it it
4:16
just changes the way you go about that
4:19
business. I used to just create like
4:23
homemade
4:24
skin care products, hair care products
4:27
because it was something that I loved,
4:28
homegoods and things like that. And it
4:31
was just like therapy, just fun, a way
4:34
that I would just get lost in the day.
4:35
And when I converted that to a business,
4:38
a lot of other things came along with
4:39
it, right? Customer service, marketing.
4:42
And when I first created my YouTube
4:44
channel, it was something that I just
4:47
truly loved. I just loved doing it. And
4:51
the thing is that I knew that it would
4:52
be a long time before my channel would
4:54
be monetized a long time. And so I never
4:57
was really creating content with this
4:59
mindset of earning money. However, once
5:02
I reached, this is me just being
5:03
completely transparent and honest. Once
5:05
I reached 1,000 subscribers on my
5:07
channel, 2,000 subscribers, I was like,
5:09
"Okay, now I should start thinking about
5:12
monetization for my channel." And the
5:14
truth is that you can begin monetizing
5:16
your channel even before you reach like
5:18
the YouTube partner requirement. But I
5:21
was like, maybe I should start looking
5:23
at this channel as a business. And I
5:25
feel like once I started doing that, I
5:28
quickly
5:29
had lost the
5:33
true reason of why I started this
5:35
channel in the first place. And it just
5:38
wasn't as fun and enjoyable anymore.
5:41
And it was less about just trying to be
5:44
an inspiration to people and more about
5:49
business things, right? How can I reach
5:51
as many people as I can and talk about
5:54
what they want to hear in a way of which
5:58
it will help me to become monetized and
6:02
I don't think that that was the
6:04
direction that God would have wanted me
6:07
to go with my channel. I remember a year
6:09
ago fasting um and asking God to lead me
6:14
in all areas of life and thing that he
6:17
had revealed to me is to just create my
6:20
content with him in mind. I would be
6:24
lying if I said that I had done that
6:25
completely. If you've been on this
6:27
channel like and you've seen many of my
6:29
videos, yes, some of them, sure, but
6:32
honestly not all of them. Obviously, God
6:34
is always going to be at the center of
6:35
who I am, my lifestyle, my family, even
6:38
my my content creation, but some of my
6:41
videos were created solely for the
6:43
purpose of pleasing the algorithm or
6:47
pleasing my audience, not necessarily
6:50
pleasing God. And they were just little
6:53
ways that I feel like God was trying to
6:55
reach me. And depending on your
6:57
relationship with the Lord and your walk
6:59
with Christ, the way that God reaches
7:01
out to you is going to be different, you
7:03
know, from how he might be speaking to
7:05
me or others. In my relationship with
7:07
the Lord, I know in which ways he speaks
7:09
to me. There were just little things
7:11
that I noticed and I felt like I applied
7:15
them to my life the way that I wanted to
7:17
and I didn't take the time out to say,
7:19
"Hey Lord, what are you trying to show
7:20
me and tell me in this moment?" One of
7:22
them, I created a video about it. It was
7:25
who are you trying to please? Are you
7:27
trying to please people or are you
7:29
trying to please the Lord? And I could
7:31
have applied that in many areas of my
7:33
life. But I didn't ask God what was he
7:37
trying to tell me in that. But I just
7:39
used it in whatever area of life it was
7:41
most convenient for me. And that's not
7:44
always how God works. And so basically,
7:47
yeah, I had to slow down my life
7:50
completely. And in doing so, I learned a
7:54
lot of things. One of the things that I
7:55
learned is that most of the overwhelm in
7:58
my life was actually coming from
8:01
monetization. So whether that be my
8:03
e-commerce store, my content creation
8:06
and social media, my blog, any of it,
8:09
those were the things that were creating
8:11
the most overwhelm in my life. And in
8:13
ways I thought I was just overwhelmed as
8:16
a mom. Turns out that just wasn't the
8:20
case. And I had to learn that by one by
8:23
one slow sewing down different areas of
8:25
my life, motherhood, slowing down um and
8:28
just enjoying my babies and slowing down
8:30
in homemaking. Just decluttering my home
8:33
and and has that been transformative.
8:36
But there was still one little piece and
8:38
area of my life that I did not slow down
8:40
and that was the business part. God's
8:42
will for our life is always better than
8:45
our will for our life. And I know this
8:47
because it has played out in my life
8:50
before. I never thought that I would be
8:52
a stay-at-home mom, a homeschool mom,
8:55
stay-at-home wife. These are just things
8:56
that 10 years ago, I didn't know this is
9:00
the direction that my life would have
9:02
gone. However, I completely gave up. the
9:06
things that I went to school for, the
9:08
things that I got a college degree in,
9:10
the things that I spent time building
9:13
up, I completely surrendered it and
9:17
walked away from. Hi, sweetie.
9:20
>> Hi.
9:21
>> Those things even though, you know, that
9:24
was what I had planned for myself, for
9:27
my life, for my career. And in doing so,
9:31
life kind of just
9:34
unfolded in ways that I never would have
9:36
imagined and so much better than what I
9:39
had planned for myself. And the life
9:42
that God has paved out for me and my
9:46
family has been the most amazing, most
9:48
beautiful life. I couldn't have
9:51
>> done that or figured that out on my own.
9:53
Back then, I knew when God was calling
9:56
me to walk away from the things that I
9:58
had planned for myself, and I knew when
10:00
he wanted me to surrender my will to
10:02
his. I knew what that felt like. And so,
10:05
I 100% knew when he was asking me to do
10:08
that. So, I stepped away from work and
10:11
social media and I said a prayer and
10:13
asked God to just show me what he wanted
10:16
me to do, the direction he wanted me to
10:18
go. Um, there's a season for everything.
10:22
There's always a season and YouTube has
10:24
been such an amazing part of my life and
10:26
ways in which it has helped me to become
10:28
a better mom, a better wife, a better
10:30
person, just in general, a better
10:32
homemaker, wanting to strive to be
10:34
better and do better in different areas
10:37
of my life. And I'm so grateful for
10:38
that. But once I started to feel a
10:42
little bit burnt out after doing it for
10:45
years and once I started to wake up and
10:49
not have any idea of what I wanted to
10:51
create, like as far as content goes,
10:53
what type of video I wanted to make and
10:54
I just started dibbling and dabbling and
10:56
looking to other people for guidance,
10:59
like looking to see what other YouTubers
11:01
were doing, um, YouTube courses, books,
11:04
everything, just trying to figure out,
11:06
you know, what I should be doing and how
11:08
I should do it and started to really
11:10
overcrowd my mind and become so
11:12
stressful and overwhelmed because I was
11:14
heeding advice from everywhere when
11:17
that's not normally how I go about life.
11:19
I normally just go straight to the
11:21
Bible, straight to prayer and
11:24
I just leave it worry-f free on the
11:26
table after that. And I hadn't been
11:28
doing that. And so, yeah, I took a month
11:31
off and even though I don't necessarily
11:35
feel like I need to explain why, because
11:38
if you ever feel like you need to take a
11:41
break or you need to do something, no
11:43
matter what it might be for your health,
11:45
for your family, do it. And you don't
11:48
necessarily owe anybody any explanation
11:50
for it. However, if you want to explain,
11:52
go ahead and do that. And so I of course
11:55
wanted to share that with you guys
11:57
because in a way I felt like one it
11:58
could be inspirational and helpful for
12:00
somebody else who might be walking out
12:02
of God's will and wondering why their
12:05
life is feeling a little more heavier
12:08
than what they can take on or than what
12:11
they anticipated and not understanding
12:13
why. but also because I do care about
12:15
you guys and appreciate
12:17
all of who have been here on this
12:20
YouTube journey with me and have become
12:21
a part of my YouTube family. And so I am
12:25
slowly going to be getting back into
12:27
content creation and trying to do it in
12:29
a way of which I feel is pleasing to God
12:33
but also inspirational and helpful to
12:36
others as well. But not in a way that is
12:39
self-seeking meaning not in a way that
12:41
is solely to be monetized and earn for
12:47
myself or for my family and things like
12:49
that because I feel even by saying like
12:52
in a way that it's earning for my family
12:54
is partly self-seeking because it's not
12:58
really a need in my family. I feel like
13:02
my family needs me in the home taking
13:06
care of my children and being a
13:09
supporter to my spouse more than they
13:12
need me earning money on YouTube or in
13:17
e-commerce. And that's just the truth.
13:20
And so it would all just be solely
13:23
self-seeking with the goal to create
13:27
content that's helpful, that is worry
13:29
free and stress free and inspirational
13:32
and faith driven. That's where this
13:35
channel is going to be going from here
13:37
on out. And hopefully I don't stumble.
13:40
Although it is by human nature that we
13:44
do and if I do then I will take a step
13:48
back and seek the Lord's guidance again.
13:53
I have a couple of videos that's going
13:55
to be going up at the same time as this
13:58
video. I have one that I created and
14:02
hadn't played up for you guys. Full day
14:05
in the life with so much motivation.
14:07
just showing you guys what a full day in
14:08
the life looked like down south for us
14:11
as well as a Florida um apartment clean
14:14
with me. I had a brand that sent me some
14:17
products to share with you guys and
14:20
feature and highlight for you guys. So,
14:22
I really wanted to get that up because I
14:24
made a promise to them that I would
14:26
share that content. I want to make sure
14:28
that I get that out. Hopefully, you guys
14:30
will enjoy those two videos. And for
14:33
this video, I just hope that maybe it
14:36
inspires someone, like I said, who maybe
14:39
has been feeling a little bit lost. I
14:42
always say if you're feeling
14:43
overwhelmed, first figure out in which
14:45
ways in your life you can slow down. And
14:48
if you slow down one area, it's not
14:51
enough. Slow down in another area and
14:53
you still feel overwhelmed. And that's
14:55
not enough. Try another area. And I feel
14:57
like somewhere along the way, you will
14:59
find and pinpoint what part of your life
15:02
is creating the most overwhelm and
15:04
stress for you. Me, it wasn't
15:05
motherhood. It wasn't homemaking. It
15:08
wasn't even content creation in itself.
15:10
It was the stress and overwhelm of
15:14
trying to monetize. Yeah, we won't go
15:16
back down that route. Once you figure
15:17
out where that stress and overwhelm is
15:19
coming from, pray about it and see if
15:21
that's something that God has, you know,
15:24
planned out for you. Maybe you just need
15:25
a break. Maybe you just need some time.
15:29
Everybody needs to take a break every
15:31
once in a while. And in the past 4
15:33
years, I didn't really do that in terms
15:36
of business and content creation. Feel
15:38
like I always can tell when that's not
15:40
what God has for me because his burden
15:42
is light. His word tells us that that
15:45
his burden for it's it's light. And so
15:47
whenever you're doing something and you
15:49
feel like it's a huge burden on your
15:51
life, me personally, I say I don't think
15:54
that that's what God wants for me.
15:56
Things can be difficult. Things are not
15:58
always going to be easy. Um motherhood
16:01
is not always easy. Homemaking is not
16:03
always easy when you're serving others.
16:06
But God does call us to serve others.
16:08
And in many ways, we can be like, "Hey,
16:11
that's not the easiest thing." But it's
16:13
so fulfilling and joyful and I love it.
16:17
That's not the same as something that
16:18
just feels burdensome. When something is
16:20
burdensome, you will easily start to
16:23
feel like you just don't enjoy it. You
16:25
just don't love it anymore. I've never
16:26
once felt like I'm not enjoying
16:28
motherhood. I'm not loving it. I'm not
16:30
loving homemaking. I'm not loving and
16:32
enjoying serving others. I wanted to
16:34
share with you guys where I've been for
16:36
the past month and why I took a break.
16:39
Welcome back. If you've been here for a
16:42
while and if you are new here, then
16:45
welcome. [laughter] I would love for you
16:47
to subscribe and join the channel and
16:50
come along with me for my journey with
16:53
motherhood and homemaking. Just sharing
16:57
my faith life and what that looks like
17:00
as a mom, homemaker, wife, homeschool
17:03
mom, all the things. and just trying to
17:05
be as helpful and inspirational as I
17:08
can. I pray that when you guys see me,
17:11
when anybody in life sees me, they also
17:14
see God. I try to take credit for all
17:17
the blessings in my life, all credit
17:20
goes to God. So, if you see something
17:22
and you say that that's truly
17:25
inspirational, I just want you guys to
17:26
know that that is truly just the Lord
17:29
and that is something that I'm always
17:31
happy to share. So yeah, I would love
17:33
for you to join me here on this channel
17:35
if you're new. And if you've been here
17:37
for a while, thank you guys for being
17:38
here. I truly appreciate. Thank you guys
17:40
for being patient with me, especially
17:42
when I stepped away for the past month.
17:44
I'm super grateful. And yeah, I'm going
17:47
to go and spend some time with my family
17:50
today because it is Sunday, a day of
17:54
rest for us. And I will see you guys in
17:57
the next video. Make sure you check out
17:58
the other two videos that's going up
18:00
with this one. I think you guys will
18:02
enjoy it.
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