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hi everyone I'm Kelly O'Horo and this is
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Adaptable Behavior Explained hi there
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thanks for joining us today on Adaptable
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i'm Kelly O'Horo your host and I want to
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share with you on our episode today um
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about a book that was presented to me by
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a friend of mine and he said "You're
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going to love this it's right up your
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alley and it has really changed the way
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that I run my business it's changed the
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way that I make decisions on the
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day-to-day and it it's really changed
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the way that we have run our hiring
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process so the book that we're going to
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talk about today is The Big Five for
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Life it's by John Straki and it's a bit
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of a parable in that uh you don't know
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that it's not a true story sort of until
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the end um but it's uh it's such a good
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uh example about how to organize your
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life and I think that so many of us are
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really living just on autopilot you know
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think about from the time I get up I go
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through the motions I make my plans and
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I don't necessarily have a goal for the
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things that I'm doing each day and I
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haven't had a lot of purpose so when I
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think about how do I organize this we
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have to slow ourselves down and this
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book helps us to determine a couple of
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things it helps us to determine if we
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want to look into it and and do the
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activities in the book our purpose for
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existence which sounds so heady and our
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big five for life and so the examples
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that they talk about in this book are
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based on the metaphor of walking through
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the museum of your life and so when when
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he talks about it he says you know we
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spend our time every single day doing
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things kind of monotonous monotonously
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or mindlessly and if you narrow down
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what you want to be doing and and the
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things that are going to be important in
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the museum of your life it helps you to
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clean up what it is you're going to um
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focus your time and energy on and so
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basically if I were saying that my for
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example my purpose for existence is to
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serve humankind i know that I'm here to
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be of service to help people through
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their trials and tribulations it's what
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prompted me to become a teacher it's
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what prompted me to recareer in my early
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30s to become a mental health specialist
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i knew that I had more in me to help
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it's part of what prompted me to adopt
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children when I was really young that
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were my husbands and stick it out to
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raise them i knew that I could offer
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them something that they wouldn't have
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otherwise had if I wasn't in their life
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and so when I think about my personal
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purpose for existence it's to serve
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humankind but everybody has different
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purposes and when I think about how I
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narrow down my big five these are going
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to be the five most important things you
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want to do or see or experience before
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you die and so this museum concept is
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like you want to visualize each day kind
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of as an exhibit in the museum of your
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life which encourages more intentional
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living you're going to align your work
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with purpose so you want to ensure that
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your professional endeavors align with
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your personal values and your big five
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for life so it's a way to sort of filter
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the choices that you make part of this
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is recognizing that we can't see our
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blind spots and so having mentorship
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throughout this process to help keep you
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in line almost an accountability partner
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whether that's a friend that you trust
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to tell you the hard things or a
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counselor someone in in your church or
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even a sponsor the importance of having
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a mentor to guide you in discovering
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your big five for life is pretty
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important it takes a lot of
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introspection and it's it's helpful to
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have somebody that knows you well to
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help you kind of narrow down your big
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five the other piece that's important
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related to this book is having a value
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of continuous growth meaning that you're
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striving for ascending life represents
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continuous growth achievement learning
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new things leaning into discomfort and
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trying to grow and stretch in areas that
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might have been otherwise uncomfortable
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one of my values from my daring greatly
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work through the Bnee Brown program is
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authenticity and so this book really
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aligned for me because authenticity is
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really embracing your truest version of
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yourself not shapeshifting in different
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arenas but allowing yourself to be fully
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you all of the time and you have to
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really have an attitude of embracing
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authenticity to unlock a life purpose
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and fulfillment you can't pretend to be
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somebody that you're not and expect that
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to be congruent with who you say you
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want to be when someone would walk
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through the museum of your life when you
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think about the role of leaders in your
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life or being a leader there's a huge
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impact of leadership leaders help us and
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others grow and achieve their big five
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for life so that's really important to
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have leaders in your world that help you
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strive for healthy striving um and we
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want to make sure that we have practical
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application for some of these concepts
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when it comes to the big five there's
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really awesome exercises in the book
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that help the readers identify their big
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five for life because ultimately you
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want to think about the legacy that
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you're going to leave in your world and
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the legacy that you want to leave behind
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when someone thinks about how they
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remember you and how you contributed in
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your daily actions there was a quote
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that I really found touching when I was
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younger that I read and it was something
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to I might get it a little bit wrong but
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it was something to the degree of people
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won't remember you for what you did but
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they'll remember you for how you made
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them feel and I think about me and my
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big five and my purpose for existence
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and when I think about the legacy that I
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want to leave or the museum of impact
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that I want people to remember me by
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it's learning and creating it's being a
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good mother and showing up with
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unconditional love for my children it's
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being a good wife and a good partner and
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helping my husband to learn how to you
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know go through challenges with his best
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self it's exploring and seeing new
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places and new cultures and new things
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and it's making a difference in the
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lives of the people that are around me
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not just in my family circle and so when
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I think about how do I make choices
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every day if and what I love about this
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book is because for if you're like me
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where you have lots of big ideas but
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they might not all line up with who you
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say you want to be this helps you
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streamline the decision-making process
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and so for me I look at my purpose for
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existence to serve humankind so if what
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I'm going to do doesn't somehow impact
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that it probably ought not to be in my
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to-do list and then when I think about
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my big five the museum that is me I want
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to make sure that the actions that I
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take some way contribute to one of those
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experiences and it helps you to narrow
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down your choices so a way that I've
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also employed this book or used this
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book is in our hiring process for my
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company so if you're in a leadership
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role this can help you as well we have
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our prospective candidates read the book
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and then they present to our team their
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big five for life and their purpose for
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existence and it gives them an
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opportunity to dig into who they are and
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what they want and make sure that it
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aligns with our company's purpose for
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existence and our big five and that way
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we're not trying to fit a square peg
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into a round hole there's consistency
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there's congruence and there's an
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understanding that the culture fit won't
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be foreign and it'll be in conjunction
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and synchronistic with what we're
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looking for with our company and since
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I've started that process the how we've
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hired has been so much easier because
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the people that we're attracting are
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comfortable digging in and leaning into
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some discomfort and having some real
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thoughtful contemplative activity that
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shows us and it shows them they're
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willing to take deep dive into who they
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are and what they want for their lives
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and is what they do you know seven eight
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hours a day consistent for them in their
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world and so I really can't tell you
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enough about how powerful this book was
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it's a really fast read you'll get
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through it in a couple of days it's very
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easy reading but you know when you think
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about what you can do to course correct
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when you decide to dig in and figure out
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why am I here what is the purpose for me
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being here and then what are the actions
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that I need to take so that they line up
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through my potential or inevitable
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museum of my life and you can learn to
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narrow down what it is you want for
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yourself it makes the big decisions
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easier and it makes your daily planning
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easier because it keeps at the forefront
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who am I and what am I here for and what
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do I say I strive for in my future and
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so I highly recommend reading this book
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it's really great john Strleki really
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has changed my life the way that I think
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how I make decisions and how I spend my
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time on this earth so if you're
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struggling and you're in a transition
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time or you're just feeling a little bit
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listless you don't know what it is you
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want to do I recommend picking up this
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book spending a couple of days and
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digging in and I think you'll find
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yourself rejuvenated and a little bit
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more focused on who you are and what you
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want to do what you want to achieve in
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this world so I really appreciate your
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time i hope that you enjoy the book i'd
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love for you to share once you go
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through this in our comments on the show
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you know your purpose for existence and
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your big five and maybe we can spend
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some time conversing a little bit about
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what this process has been like for you
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so I appreciate you tuning in to this
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show i highly recommend this book and
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until we meet again don't forget to lead
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with love it'll never steer you wrong
