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I am both male and female
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I have XY chromosomes, but I'm a woman. At 16 years old, I hadn't started puberty
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and so when I went to see the doctor, I learned I was intersex. When the doctors explained to us that they found no ovaries
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it was kind of a shock. I knew from a young age that I wouldn't be able to have kids
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but that didn't really stress me out too much until I started dating
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Today I'm going on a blind date, And I'm nervous to see what my date will think about me being intersex
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So is having kids like something you see for yourself in your future? This is basically how I get my estrogen
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It's just a standard birth control pill that I take. I actually get four packs each time I get it so that I just get a period every three months
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Basically with my condition, I'm pretty much in menopause if I don't take it
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Growing up, people didn't know I was intersex because externally the doctors considered me a girl
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By the time I was 16, I hadn't gotten a period or started going through puberty
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And so we had to go to my pediatrician to kind of see what was going on
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They saw that I had a uterus, but it was really small because it wasn't developing
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and where my ovaries should have been, they weren't developing as well. And so that's why
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I wasn't getting any estrogen that would trigger that puberty. It was really awkward because
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everybody's already gone through puberty and I'm like buying my first bras in late high school
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and just learning how to use tampons and pads. I definitely felt a little different. I feel like
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why am I younger than everyone else physically? Like why have I not matured in that way
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And it was just weird. I feel like starting out to me intersex meant this is taboo I don wanna tell anyone about it I just had a lot of anxiety around it In the past couple of years I feel like it was kind of exciting because it just made sense
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Like, oh, I'm not just this or that. I'm different. And that was okay with me
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Looking in the mirror now, I feel like I've definitely come into my own
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I'm still growing, but like overall, I just feel more confident in myself
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Since openly identifying as intersex, it's something I'm really proud of. Hey
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How's it going? Good. How about you? Good. I am six feet tall
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I wear size 11 shoes. I can palm a women's basketball. It kind of just reshaped my view of all things gender and how that's looked at in society
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So basically, I want to create like a wildlife habitat for all the butterflies
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I'm creating a space where all of these butterflies can transform and come into their own which is kind of similar to me
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Like I have to take my hormones my estrogen in order to go through puberty and like just become a full-blown adult
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These tiny little ones are the aster My mom supported me through the whole process by being the one who's taken me to my doctor's appointments my surgeries
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Caring for me in the aftermath of those surgeries She's always been there for me
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When the doctors explained to us that they found no ovaries, it was kind of a shock
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And then the first thing that you said before I could even kind of put everything together or think about it
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you said, oh gosh, I guess I'm just not going to be able to have babies. For you to be that age, that's the first thing for you to think about
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That's kind of heartbreaking, you know. I knew from a young age that I wouldn't be able to have kids
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I'm sad for my mom not being able to have, like, grandchildren from me
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but it didn't really stress me out too much until I started dating later in college
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When I was still dating men, I would worry about telling the person and if it would impact how they felt about me and if they would want to continue pursuing a relationship with me just based on the fact that I can have kids naturally
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It's definitely changed a lot now that I'm dating women. I can be open about it and feel
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comfortable with it. So I'm going on a blind date today. I want to see if you can help me
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pick out my outfit. When I go on dates with people and I let them know about me being intersex
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I would hope that they are just open-minded and curious. Okay. And hopefully that's something that wouldn't inhibit them from wanting to continue to get to know me
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This top, white jacket. Okay, cute. So how do you think they'll feel once you explain that you're intersex
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I feel like they're already dating women, so they're a little more open-minded than the average person
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What Sierra is actually searching for is love in a person that is like her, kind-hearted and compassionate
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As she's developed into a young adult, I feel like she's also learning more about her inner sex
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and she's wanting other people to listen. Okay. Well, look at you
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Oh, my gosh, you look so good. I hope that she finds the person to be interesting and open to listening and being positive with Sierra
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Have fun. Thank you. Good luck. Yep, I'll see you in a little bit
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Have fun. I definitely get nervous about blind dates. I get nervous about dates in general, especially with women
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I'm scared. They're beautiful. Hi. Okay
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Can I do like a mojito? I'll do a mar. Oh, that sounds good actually
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That's it, you can try mine. Were you nervous about today? Perfect, so am I. Yeah
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I still am. Have you been on a blind date before I never been on a blind date before Okay me before I pleased I don feel like I gotten too many questions from dates about being intersex because I feel like most of the time
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people don't really even know what to ask. I don't necessarily feel obligated to tell people
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right away, but I'm definitely open to bringing it up naturally if it comes up. How has dating been
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for you? It's been all right. I've only had like one longer term relationship, like with women
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wise, because I figured out I was into women pretty late in life. It was kind of like
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this overall journey I was going on because I also learned that I was intersex at a later age
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I don't know if you've heard of that before. I have, but I haven't met anyone that's intersex
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I was 16 when I first realized like I couldn't have kids and stuff, but I was going to ask that
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attitudes, having kids, like something you see for yourself in your future. I've been pretty unsure
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about it. Sometimes I'm leaning towards no. And then other times I'm like, Oh, I think it would be
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cool to be, have a family. What about you? I'm the same. Yeah. Yeah. I think a family sounds cute
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So how do you feel about like dating an intersex person? Like, does it make you feel weird or put
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you off? Or like, do you think you're comfortable with something like that? I don't think it puts me
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off at all. I would definitely be interested in dating someone that's intersex. I don't think it's
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a big deal. I think the day went really well. She was really nice and chill. I felt like we had a
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good conversation. I definitely would be open to dating intersex people in the future. Like
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I think it's just something that makes them unique. But I think we're going to have a second date
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yeah. I think if people understood intersex more, I feel like people would be more understanding
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and realize it's just who we are. Biological sex isn't binary, and I'm living proof of that
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and I'm proud of who I am