Welcome to Adaptable | Behavior Explained! The world has become increasingly complex over the past 50 years. Until the mid-20th century, the transition to adulthood was relatively well-structured for most people. One of the defining developmental processes that occur during the unique stage of
emerging adulthood is the emergence of adult identity, or the subjective sense of adulthood. So today we talk to Collin, to bring a sense of perspective of someone in their early 20's and what they experience in todays world and that story of their own identity.
This is Part 1 of 2
I'm Kelly O'Horo, Attachment based EMDR Therapist, EMDRIA Consultant, and Advanced Trainer. I'm a mom of 5, Nonna of 5, wife, and a healer. I have the honor of spending my workdays walking along side people while they brave their healing journeys. I try to live with the generous assumption that we're all doing the best we can with what we know. Therapists are teachers for the "life stuff" and "emotional vocabulary" that may not have been learned due to gaps in our care givers capabilities. In the last 15 years I've learned that people are freaking amazing, resilient, and inspiring. Most importantly, we are hardwired for connection and for healing!
I hope to bring an authentic, compassionate, and unpolished approach while we explore a variety of topics such as parenting, marriage, relationships, dating, trauma, attachment, adoption, depression, addiction, anxiety, and love! There's a why for all behaviors and an explanation that makes perfect sense as emotion is at the root of it all.
-- Links --
https://linktr.ee/kellyohorolpc
https://youtu.be/rLnARKekvgo
https://www.emdria.org/find-an-emdr-therapist/
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0:06
hi everyone I'm Kell ooro and this is adaptable Behavior explained hi
0:12
everybody thank you so much for tuning in today to adaptable I am so excited to have you here today because we are going
0:18
to discuss a topic that's really important especially during the ages of our early 20s and that's identity and
0:25
how identity is shaped based on our experiences and societal expectations
0:30
and all of those things that go into how do I see myself in the world and how am I shaped as a person and I'm really
0:36
excited to have our guest today I've spoken about him on many other episodes this is my youngest son uh Colin ooro
0:43
and he is actually uh becoming a rapper and his uh stage name is Ariah crew and
0:48
so he's currently working on his first album so I'm excited to support that I'm excited to hear from Colin and uh how he
0:55
sees his life experiences help shape who he is so arah tell us a little bit about
1:01
yourself I'll tell you what I definitely have two people living in my head depending on what situation I'm in what
1:09
circumstances I'm dealing with whether or not I'm dealing with business or personal life uh being a rapper I
1:16
usually go by crew so let's try to not slip on Colin I know it's a little hard I came
1:21
from you I know quite we started with that for a long time and I actually call you Parker because I wanted to name you
1:26
Parker I go by many names I lost the I lost the battle on the naming and so I always call you Parker so we're just
1:33
going to confuse it today for sure I'm down to get confused I mean I'm in my 20s like what else are you going to do
1:40
in your 20s um you wake up confused yeah well uh I grew up in a performing art
1:45
school right down the road I originally started from martial arts transition to
1:50
dancing went into hip-hop and overall just ended up evolving into rapping uh
1:56
initially freestyling from shampoo bottles in the shower he was always literally always singing growing up and
2:03
mean he woke up and he was talking or singing pretty much till he went to sleep I would sing down the halls and get bullied for it and then I got good
2:09
at rapping and no one bullied me anymore and I think that's where my identity started to shift from someone that I
2:16
viewed as maybe not as strong or confident which would be Colin and somebody that took the wheel which would
2:22
be crew um orah stems from Arya which is more of a feminine power feminine
2:29
lioness kind of Karate Kid snake energy um and I I ended up just getting crew
2:37
afterwards because it sounds cool and it rhymes with a lot of things it's also like shorter for a T-shirt and yeah it
2:42
is right you can get a cool font with crew maybe some x's at the end um but
2:48
yeah that's my background and I took it from sales I dropped out of college from
2:54
a full ride I was pretty confident in my ability to communicate and to sell and make a living doing that
3:00
and I just ended up being more interested in music so I'm going to try selling selling a r crew as a brand an
3:06
identity right it is an identi and and when you think about you know developing that and I I really appreciate your
3:12
cander in the in the uh you know I have two two people living in my head and
3:17
because I think that really normalizes that we all have parts of ourselves and and I think that it's important that we
3:23
recognize you know we do all have masks we all shape shift we all do things to
3:28
manage our per our identity but when you think about coming into authenticity you
3:34
know that can be a challenge because what is authentically with social media right exactly and we're going to talk
3:40
about that for sure today um but thinking about just the broad picture of identity and how you know when you're in
3:46
your early 20s you know you're leaving home you've been out of home you you're adulting mostly but there's still things
3:54
that we want independence but there's a Reckoning with the dependence that you're still relying insurance doesn't
3:59
until 26 Health yeah health insurance you know it's like there's all these pieces right and you know depending on
4:06
insurance I we might need life insurance based on some of your uh crazy Daredevil sort of antics but U
4:14
true but when we think about identity formation you know I I I really like
4:19
that when you and I have Rich conversation about how you navigate choices in life and and and and who's on
4:26
board when you're making those choices when I say who's on board I'm saying who's driving a certain decision in your life and how do you balance those things
4:33
I'm excited to have this conversation with you today I think we can have a lot uh to offer and I think being in your
4:39
20s is just hard all around uh especially today where there's so many different economic pressures societal
4:45
pressures social media family pressures family pressures yes societal pressures and expectations just generally speaking
4:52
uh can just be burdensome and so I I appreciate you coming on and being willing to do this with me so when you
4:57
think about identity uh and your identity as you're coming into your changes you know I can remember times
5:03
when you've said to me even as recently back as 18 like I can't believe I did this or that when I was 18 that was so
5:09
ridiculous I'm so different now so this will continue to evolve and change just based on the developmental age that
5:15
you're in so when you think about you and how you've grown in the last handful of years what have you recently learned
5:20
about yourself and your own identity I've learned it's not my job to convince people who I really am um I definitely
5:29
struggle with my sense of identity because of the impact that I had on people and the reactions that they would
5:36
give me whether they were positive or negative or just a lack of reaction at all you know if there was someone I like
5:43
to use this metaphor the social hierarchy like social ladder uh my whole life I've been trying to climb that
5:49
right like I'm just from a small town Gilbert Arizona I didn't really feel like I could impact the world to a
5:54
degree I mean I have parents that have impacted their local community and the world to a degree 23,000 subscribers
6:01
right like and you know you set the bar high and so I always tried to fill that
6:07
and I I never filled it through my passions and desires it was always through everyone else's mainly you guys
6:13
and then as I grew into college my peers the people I surrounded myself with so recently I've realized that you're a
6:20
reflection of the people you surround yourself with and so I've just surrounded myself with better people and I've struggled my identity less you know
6:27
more confident people more people have their Journeys their paths their structure and their life it definitely
6:33
rubs off rubs off on me in a positive way yeah that's smart and that's really insightful because we do really become
6:39
who we surround ourselves with when we are and it sounds like that is also more in alignment with what you are working
6:46
toward in your own personal goals and like I always which are Colin's goals right yeah so it's that's that
6:51
amalgamation of things but when I think about you know even when I was a kid playing sports we always would play up
6:57
to the team so if we played a team that was lot better we brought it we brought our game and so I think that that that
7:03
really resonates to me for me as well that you know you really you surround yourself with good people if you want to
7:08
become good people that's 100% that's smart um and when you think about uh the
7:15
evolution of self are there parts of you that you're still trying to figure out or do you feel pretty solid right here
7:21
right now for you I mean I feel like it'd be ignorant to say I'm not trying to figure out anything else uh I'm
7:27
definitely confident with the decisions I've been making recently um the steps I'm trying to take
7:33
as you know a rapper as you know a performer in general someone that's trying to be in front of camera I'm just
7:40
exploring those different Avenues and hopefully I can find find better ways to
7:45
do it um which would probably take Colin stepping up with some discipline but
7:50
oriah crew knows what he's doing for sure does he know too much probably a little bit too much but that's the whole
7:57
thing that we can take it back a little bit of you know I kind of need to know too much around these people cuz they
8:02
know too much right and it's just stepping up otherwise that impostor syndrome would really probably eat your
8:08
face because we're constantly measuring I'm a Ser at Olive Garden like
8:13
let's get real about it you know I have a lot of professional experience with loans and and people I was a door kner
8:20
and then I managed a small team for a little bit and I just didn't love it and
8:25
I didn't that's not what I wanted to do and I felt like I ran it I didn't have any imposter syndrome right um but orah
8:33
KW he's like so you like borrow some confidence in moments where you might have otherwise questioned your validity
8:39
and an experience well now I believe that I'm actually building confidence in others around me through my lack of uh
8:45
desire for validation yeah that external validation can be honestly um cement I
8:53
mean we can really just get Frozen in that need for it and so learning to have that come from the inside I think is
9:00
so incredibly important for any success quite frankly because we're going to get our butts kicked when we're in the arena
9:06
trying things and so yeah that makes me think about you know values that all of us have to have values that we instill
9:12
in order to just figure out our guid poost you know how do we filter our choices so can you tell us a little bit
9:18
about your uh beliefs and values that have helped to guide you my beliefs and values that have helped to guide me um
9:25
authenticity and capability those are my two ones uh if I didn't have those
9:31
tattooed on me forever I wouldn't know what to do right like orah crew can be
9:37
vulgar at times he can be seen as maybe misogynistic um Colin is seen as
9:43
empathetic understanding he can listen he can provide space he has a lot of capacity to deal with everyone um and
9:50
I'm balancing merging those two identities together so it's more of a public face that I can be proud of and
9:57
everyone else can um but but at the end of the day I'm authentic I'm real and I
10:02
know I'm capable to build a brand that is not only valid in all aspects of rap and music but valid through society and
10:09
can have a positive impact on the people around me when you think about what you talk about in your writing with your
10:15
music do do the messages in your music match the values that you embody or is
10:21
that still part of like what you're working to integrate I definitely think it embodies the the brand of music and
10:29
General right like we have artists that you know donate millions of dollars to
10:34
you know Charities and and impact you know the youth at such a positive way and then they talk about and
10:41
money and it's like you know sometimes there's just different Avenues of getting the impact you have and
10:47
unfortunately that's my Avenue that's my that's just what I'm good at it's what I
10:52
grew up around it's the people that influenc me and I enjoy it right I have to say as a mom it's been it's been an
10:59
interesting like internal you know I have this image I mean you know you can
11:05
hear he's well spoken he's Charming he's you know um he's kind he's great with
11:11
children you know when you see as a parent when I see those those attributes in you that's that's my guy like that's
11:18
that's the guy I like to hang out with and everything else and it's interesting because you know Dad and I were driving
11:24
out on to a date the other night and I was listening I had just listened to one of your um
11:30
and it was like you know I'm I'm just like why is he talking about these
11:36
things they it's so vulgar it's so disrespectful it's so whatever and then we we do listen to hip-hop and I threw
11:42
on '90s hip hop and I threw on Snoop Dogg and it was just like it was the same and I looked at dad and I go the
11:49
same I don't judge it when it's him because I don't embody those values but when it's coming out of your baby's
11:56
mouth you're like uh why is he doing this but I had a different level of understanding and I I'm working to
12:02
integrate personally how do I how do I bring those things together stop right
12:07
there it's really who you are as person you're not wrong I'll tell you what like I struggled with putting that stuff out
12:13
online forever right that's always what the digital footprint is forever right and I didn't want to be seen as vulgar
12:20
or disrespectful towards women and then I started seeing more podcasts and documentaries about how these big Brands
12:27
made it in music maybe not only rap but you know even new addition and just looking at these people that have grown
12:35
to be such icons and in the history of Music um their podcasts reflect a
12:41
different person on the inside right and they're there it's for the show I'm
12:46
trying to sell tickets right I'm not trying to prove that I'm a good guy well and if you have a good beat in the background everybody's dancing and
12:52
nobody can even really necessarily hear the lyrics specifically um they're trying to catch a collective energy
12:58
right and I've I've learned how to build crowds of of 100 people on the side of the road youve always the side of the
13:05
road and you know girls will walk by and I will be very very blatant about the
13:10
intrusive thoughts I have about them and they'll sit in the corner and they'll drop $20 in the bucket M and it's like
13:16
do you even know what I just said right and they're not focused on that they were focused on the Charisma and how they felt that you the way you were
13:22
looking at them and the beat that you are so naturally or the Cadence and then I start singing and then I like drop it
13:28
back and we get a little lower in the Bas and you bring crew out and then you being like kind of smooth more like JT
13:36
Vibe you know like you are uh you've always been you know multi-talented when it comes to just even just your genre of
13:43
music you know it's not uncommon for me to walk in and as I develop my brand my genre of music will change over time as
13:49
well sure you know well and I think just like anybody and anything anyone does there's an evolution and and as you know
13:55
as Colin and crew more integrate and there's more confidence like that level of selfness that that is part of growing
14:03
in all of us you know I imagine you know I don't know that I'll see you that that
14:08
Will Smith thing where he never said a swear word you know necessarily although now your
14:16
wife right but you know we see other sides of everyone exactly you know
14:21
sometimes the show slits but that really that really hurt his image because everyone had this picture of who he is
14:27
as a person and then we see this other side of him and um you know he's still dealing with crawling back from that you
14:34
know one mistake and I think that's also disingenuine when it comes to authenticity I think you know why we
14:40
really need to show more of our canable in general is like is why I want to build a brand because if you build a
14:46
brand that's uncan right if you get away with saying more vulgar things and and
14:52
and and just being more of a performer and then you detach your personal life you can't really be cancelled cuz people
14:59
like that's just a character right there's a lot of examples like that today Tosh does a lot of that Tosh you
15:04
know Eminem like so thinking about brand and image and you know the the primary
15:10
it's it's a it's a plus minus social media we have to address that because it's also you know it's how we get known
15:17
but it's also really detrimental in that we can get sucked in and it can become
15:23
too much of our identity our dopamine gets messed up we have another show about that so let's talk about about
15:29
that and I want to know how does social media change the way you view yourself or maybe a little bit about the
15:35
evolution of that topic for you um are we talking about in the past or present day let's talk about now but if there's
15:41
a reflection from the past I think go for it uh present day I have much more of a lock on my use of social media I'm
15:49
trying to look at it at it more as a a railway system to my goals right I've
15:57
completely cut out mindless scrolling um all my algorithm is fairly tailored
16:03
towards Action Sports and music um and I think that has helped me focus more on
16:09
my goals as an individual and why I'm using social media and not necessarily using it to dissociate from my current
16:16
reality and get sucked into it start comparing myself with those around me there's a few examples of friends that I
16:22
have that are making it they're they're very successful now and we started at the same spot and I'm like what did they do that I didn't and I understand that
16:29
they just did it longer they cared less they had better Network around them that they used from their own social media
16:37
and consistent posting maybe uh you know setting better boundaries around the
16:42
people that you're surrounded by right your first five people that you're closest to are going to be who you end
16:47
up hang out with and I think that the people that I've met on social media have given me a false sense of I guess
16:55
you could say clout for a better word a false sense of valid and who I think I am and so I've maybe
17:02
spent time with people that weren't as real as I thought they were um but in the sense of social media in general I
17:10
think that I don't usually have I don't have the same struggles as I would say
17:15
the majority of my peers do I've noticed even as I overhear you at times you're always listening to something about
17:21
learning like how to build a fish tank or and I'm just like you're always learning something and that I think you
17:27
get that from Dad I mean he's always learning something and your natural disposition to want to just you're
17:32
curious and watch how black holes work and then I'll look at the equations behind it and not understand what's
17:38
going on but at least I can convince myself it's better than just consuming mindless content well and if you're
17:44
learning something it's always better I mean we we need to keep learning trying to listen to smart people talk about
17:50
things that I don't understand sure and that's how I think social media should be used that's how I think media in
17:55
general should be used can you think of a time where social media really influenced a decision that you
18:00
made um yeah 100% I struggled with a lot of vanity uh when I started doing Tik
18:08
Tok I got a couple videos that popped off and I think I got like I don't know 50,000 followers and a couple of months
18:16
and hindsight um that's really nothing especially if you don't have a brand
18:21
it's really just validation um but at the time I was like I'm going to make it big I'm going to drop out of college I'm
18:27
going to film content with my best friend we're going to go travel out of our cars in California and we're going
18:33
to film content and post it and the moment that I dropped out of college and
18:38
I moved uh to my car um in San Diego we
18:43
filmed everything we did didn't edit a single video and didn't post anything they're just archives and my camera room
18:51
and I lost my traction and then I started putting together like you know tip Fort videos and without any story
18:59
without any context and my view count went down and I felt really bad about myself I started really focusing on how
19:05
I looked a lot um in the present day and like without social media and I was like maybe if I try harder and I try
19:12
different content or I look prettier then maybe I'll be more successful and
19:18
that led me down a very very yeah that's a dark hole very dark hole like well and so much external validation which is
19:24
what it's designed for I mean the algorithms are literally for that they want to suck you in and they want you to be driven by that algorithm and it's
19:31
it's how they're made I totally was yeah and I see it every day still mhm it's hard you have to have that ins Main in
19:37
women so you we're talking about it took you to a really dark place and that you know as uh being a child of now two
19:44
counselers and not really hold on run that back cameras I have two therapist
19:51
PS so that comes you know what that means it's a lot of challenges that I'm
19:57
sure you it's a lot of data yeah it's a lot of data that you may or may not want maybe this is the origination of crew
20:02
you're like I don't want any more of this balance and mental heal about balance and mental health and empathy
20:08
but so what you think about going through a dark place and being in that um in that space um you know with the
20:15
social media polls and things like that can you tell us a little bit about how you manage or keep keep a check on your
20:21
mental health because you are you know going into an industry where external validation is literally there's a lot of
20:27
drugs there's a lot of women there's a lot of access you know uh and the party never stops and I sucked I got I fell
20:34
into that a lot in uh Scottdale actually Hometown you know I started getting into the promoting world and you know it
20:41
started slipping and it's because I didn't have access to my hobbies my normal Hobbies right like rapping is was
20:47
one of my hobbies now it's hopefully going to be my profession but I have a lot of other ones you know I snowboard i
20:53
surf um I sing as well and at the end of the day I I just love I love the
21:00
outdoors I love water if it's frozen if it's liquid whatever it is I want to be on top of a board on it and that stuff
21:07
usually Che keeps me in check you know like taking time alone or even with friends without substance and really
21:14
tapping into uh to cins hobbies and not oriot Cru right and that's how I kind of
21:21
separated it out uh with my mental health and I think it's doing I think I'm doing good awesome well how do you
21:27
know when it's not good like what what are the signs that you see cuz I think this can help other people key in who
21:33
haven't had two parents as counselors you know drilling this into them their whole life how do you know when your mental health is not in check what what
21:40
happens for you uh check out you know what's that look like um checking out to
21:45
me is essentially get like you know like
21:51
sleeping in too late right uh instead of watching one episode I'm watching three
21:56
right I'm losing valuable hours of time then I'm more tired in the morning and then you know I'll skip on some of my
22:02
responsibilities because we talked about it earlier you know when you start to get into your early 20s I'm about to be
22:08
23 you know my car is paid off right I have a place to live I have a job you
22:13
know I have my structure and you know you start to forget about things like filing your taxes or you know cleaning
22:21
your car or you know maintenance on your car like the Small Things admin work setting up goals for the next week right
22:27
that can start slip by the wayside and that's how I know that I start to fall into more of a performance of life as
22:36
opposed to an active goal on what life should mean and the impact I want to
22:41
have on those around me right that's awesome so like I end up just getting into this performance mode where as long
22:47
as people are laughing or smiling around me then I'm good that goes back to that
22:52
external influence it's like I'm going to go rely on that thing again but it's just a Band-Aid on a broken ankle it doesn't really work bandaid on a broken
22:58
ankle A Perfect Analogy you know and I I have a lot of people that are willing to
23:04
put Band-Aids on my ankles and so when you're a performer I think that's what
23:10
most most artists in general struggle with you know even you know most
23:15
20-year-olds that have nothing to do with Artistry you know social media kind of turns everyone into some sort of um
23:21
fake persona that you feel like you have to keep up and I think that really I think that resonates with everyone not
23:27
even just me that's that's a great that's a great point when you think about stress I mean we're all faced with stress and and it's
23:34
an inundation and you're in you know you're striving for a profession that is really there's no guarantees and there's
23:41
no if I do this if I do this if I do this if I do this then this right I mean it's it's there's a lot more uncertainty
23:48
and I'm sure that brings a certain amount of stress there's no like by this date I should have this like you know if
23:54
you go a more traditional route for your your career choices so how do you how do you handle stress what do you do for
24:01
management of stress do you want an authentic answer I want I want I want
24:07
you know you know maybe Colin could answer Colin uh I mean Colin and a riah
24:12
crew I like to smoke um and I handle stress usually by sitting in a chair
24:19
it's pretty simple I have this analogy and I bought this chair it's $150 on Amazon it's the greatest thing I've ever
24:26
bought in my life I made a Tik Tok about it I'm sobbing um I'm on mushrooms during it
24:32
like it was a very very pivotal moment for me but the analogy is essentially
24:37
this old man was sitting in front of me and he was watching everyone on the beach and I was sitting about 20 ft
24:43
behind him watching the old man and I was sitting there for an hour and a half going what does that guy have that I
24:49
don't have why is he so peaceful I just realized he had a chair that was about
24:54
it and I started thinking about that materializing you know that data into a thesis that's basically like he's not
25:02
thinking about anything he has his spot no one's going to take that spot from him he's probably spent a lot of time in
25:08
that chair thinking about thinking thinking about what other people are thinking thinking through whatever is
25:14
happening in his brain to the point where there's probably nothing really going on he's just in a state of
25:20
observation and pres presence he was just present in the moment and uh at the
25:26
time I needed a chair to do that you know I've go to parties and I bring out this little umbrella chair and pull it
25:31
up I sit down people are like who are you like you have this spot you're totally chill you seem confident I'm not
25:38
confident I'm sitting in this chair like who are these people what's going on but I'm quiet and I'm just observing those
25:43
thoughts right and that's how I deal with the stress I sit down if I'm stressed out I sit down I look at what's
25:50
around me just slow it down and I just slow it down that's awesome and then I end up forgetting what I was stressed about and then people will come up and
25:56
they're like well you take in the present moment dude you're in a chair that's so cool like what the or they think I'm weird but I don't care cuz
26:02
they're not taking this spot from me you know yeah so with the pressures
26:09
of you know your your current age and this profession that you're you're leaning toward and you think about
26:15
expectations of society you know we all have them we all are um we all end up
26:22
with those expectations as part of the voice in our head and I wonder for you how do those expectations affect your
26:30
life the expectations from what the people around me I would say more societally like if you look at you know
26:37
oh my gosh PE influence what does that do for you at this point I've kind of tried to flip the script I've tried to
26:43
influence my peers um I would say the majority of my close friends know they
26:49
can't influence me unless they're pointing a shot at tequa you know like like I'm pretty like I'm pretty set in
26:55
my ways um you you know this you you have an experience with this um you can
27:01
probably speak on it more than I can because I just check out you know I'm like if someone's saying something I
27:06
don't want to hear that I don't think applies to me I'm like next defensive
27:11
you could call it defensive but then I'll go sit in my chair it's hard to be defensive if you're in a chair not
27:17
saying anything removing yourself from the emotional pull of a not the
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emotional stress of rejection the emotional stress of how how I think they're receiving me and it may be an
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unhealthy adoption but it's definitely helping me you know kind of block out the noise of society's expectation on
27:38
who they think I should be you know I'm a singer and someone will hear me sing and they're like you should sing instead
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of rap and it's like should I mhm you're not me like why why do you think that is
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it cuz you cuz I'm pretty and you expect that that I fit that image better or like you know I literally had someone
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the other day say dance Mony dance like like society's expectations are not
28:02
something I'm concerned about at this point like if I'm in a restaurant I will put my feet on the table I'm at a
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podcast it's professional and I just don't care like who's going to judge that they might think it's just respectful but they're not my audience
28:16
right that's fair and I think I run into that sometimes too I'm like I don't want to eat by your feet can you put your
28:21
feet down and I'll set a boundary and I'm just like okay I have to set pretty simple
28:27
boundaries like really and that's well but what I'm saying is like to I think people get stuck on that because why
28:33
should I have to tell you not to put your feet by my food that seems inconsiderate you know so I think that's
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where we run into moments where and that might not feel inconsiderate to you if I
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put my feet by your food but the majority of my friends will just put their feet up too and the majority of my
28:50
friends will not put their feet by my food we're in different professions it's fair that's fair um have you ever felt
28:56
pressured to be someone you're not um yeah yeah usually in context of drugs
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um mainly in adolescence um you know as I've grown
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into a more talented individual which I would like to say experienced actually
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um I've struggled with that less but I wasn't always like this you know I wasn't always good at snowboarding I
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wasn't always good at surfing I wasn't always good at at rapping right um and so feeling pressured to fit those uh
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groups that I always wanted to be a part of were was was really taxing on who
29:39
Colin was and how I wanted to be authentic and capable you know kind of mirroring those around me um to try to
29:46
fit in that's something everyone struggles with belong belonging is always an issue especially at those
29:53
young age those formative years it's everything yeah it really is I definitely feel um pressure uh to this
30:01
day but it's definitely not as severe and it's usually in more of a uh
30:06
professional setting you know like people that have more established businesses than I do more established brands that make more money than me sure
30:13
uh they view me as someone that has the same potential but maybe not the same drive or maybe not the same um you know
30:22
goal Driven Life that they had and so it's hard for me to some times be around
30:28
that too much cuz I'll start to be self-deprecating in my mind you know I won't let them see it m you know cuz I
30:35
want to continue to be around them and they don't want people dragging them down so um I'm definitely there to
30:41
uplift people like that but that would I would probably say is not as genuine as
30:46
what I'm thinking right you've always been someone who my experience of you has always been someone who's genuinely
30:52
inclusive though um you know if you saw someone sitting by themselves you would be the first to go up and check in and
30:58
see how they were even if they weren't part of you know your social group uh and that's one of the traits that I've
31:04
always found really admirable in you is just genuine like you're very non-judgmental and you're very I'm
31:09
grateful that you said that but I wouldn't I wouldn't necessarily say that as as true anymore um I I feel as if I
31:18
instead of trying to draw them in through personal contact and connection I try to draw them in through building a
31:25
crowd right cuz people like that feel more more comfortable in a crowd um and if they don't it's not my market
31:32
unfortunately I think I was just talking more about like who you are as a person as someone who's kind and inclusive I
31:38
hear how upful right I'm never I'm never you know putting anyone down um unless
31:45
it's obviously you know ironic or some sort of joke but I definitely am not as
31:53
um driven to make sure everyone feels included that's not the mo ation Isn't
31:58
So codependent at this point yeah right honestly yeah album codependency coming out
32:04
soon yeah so well we have more to talk about uh several other topics but we're
32:09
going to have to make that a second show so uh for those of you who are enjoying this conversation tune in for the second
32:15
episode of this um this topic on identity Colin thank you so much for being on this show with me for those who
32:21
don't catch the next episode I just want to give you accolades for showing up and being flexible and patient with this
32:27
process and I I really appreciate the words of wisdom that I think you're going to be able to in um offer those in
32:34
your same age and just the challenges that come with this part of development and I appreciate your authenticity with
32:40
that and um so in the meantime don't forget to lead with love it'll never
32:46
steer you wrong [Music]
32:59
oh you
33:04
[Music]
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