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hi everyone I'm Kell ooro and this is
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adaptable Behavior explained and so I'm
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now not met with compassion I'm now not
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met with Grace I'm not met with patience
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and so I feel now betrayed I feel like
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I'm a burden I feel like I did something
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wrong and so that memory might be
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encoded differently thus creating a
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traumatically informed response as I
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grow up so we've got two kinds of memory
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we've got explicit and implicit memory
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and these are important things to
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consider when we are talking about our
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stories and when we're thinking about
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how our experiences affected the way we
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show up today next we're going to talk
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about how those Chief complaints or
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those symptoms end up turning into
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problems and how the histories of our
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epigenetics and the originating events
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are so incredibly important to
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understand and in the way that we do
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therapy here at infinite healing and
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wellness and the way we believe is
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helpful is from a bottomup perspective
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so we want to talk about therapy from a
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bottom-up perspective and that is that
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we're not just going to talk about what
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happened to us because that very much
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dismisses or minimizes how our emotions
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and how our lived experience are
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thwarted in time and how they can get
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encoded maladaptively and how we can't
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just talk about something and feel
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validated and feel heard and understood
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because it won't change the way that we
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react when Pres presented with different
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stimulus or rather the same s stimulus
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in the future that reminds us because it
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looks tastes smells feels something like
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something in the past so let's say I
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have an accident in the future and it's
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a car accident and I've crashed my mom's
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car and I go to tell her and what got
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encoded because of the way she showed up
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for me when I was young was that I was a
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burden it was inconvenient she was you
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know disappointed and she was blaming
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when I came to her with the cactus
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memory and now I show up after I've
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gotten an offender Bender in her car and
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my body shows up in this way of being
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afraid to go tell her this thing
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happened and maybe I have a lot of
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experiences where she was kind and
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compassionate to me and that one was
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just one of those where she wasn't and
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so that one got a little bit lodged In
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My Memory it's encoded maladaptively and
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so when I go in the house to tell my mom
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about this fender bender I'm waiting I'm
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waiting for her to be disappointed I'm
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waiting for her to blame me I'm waiting
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her for her to not care about the injury
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that happened with me and so I'm
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tentative I don't feel like I'm going to
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be met with open arms and that is
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important to understand that the roots
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of the way I'm showing up is because of
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a a memory that happened before now I
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walk in the door I tell her that I
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gotten this fender bender and she goes
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oh my gosh that's so scary everybody's
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been in a fender bender and so she meets
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me differently than my three-year-old
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self who was in the the accident with
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the cactus and I'm kind of surprised by
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it because I was expecting and waiting
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for the other shoe to drop because of my
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memory before and so I'm lucky that she
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shows up for me in this compassionate
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loving way this time but I wasn't
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expecting it because it was so similar
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to the experience of when I was three so
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when people come to us with their
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presenting issues I want to be able to
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say let's look at what happened to us
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not just what's happening to us now but
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what happened to us before and so we
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have our symptoms are presenting issues
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that Chief complaint maybe I'm jumpy
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when I'm going to go tell somebody that
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I did something wrong I'm anxious or I'm
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nervous when something bad happens
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because I'm expecting someone not to be
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kind to me and so I'm tentative and I'm
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a perfectionist and I never want to make
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a mistake and I am leery when I do and
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it's partly because of things that
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happened when I was young so we have
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these Chief complaints we have the
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epigenetic component that I talked about
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am I from a story or a family system
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where everybody was over welmed in my
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parents' lives and and even more so
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people were overwhelmed in their in in
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their parents lives my grandparents
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lives and therefore there's a whole line
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of us that are sort of nervous anxious
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waiting for the other shoe to drop so we
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want to understand the epigenetics and
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in this picture that you're looking at
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this is this is the W the metaphor of
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the weed what I like to make sure I
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share is this picture is is helpful to
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illustrate we're not just dealing with
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what happened right now or how you show
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up or act right now we're dealing with
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the the which would we would call the
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symptoms or the top of the weed but
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we're also dealing with the roots the
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originating events where the negative
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beliefs about ourselves I'm not safe I
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can't trust I'm I'm powerless um you
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know it was my fault these are the
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beliefs that people come in and they
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talk about those are deeply rooted with
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the maladaptively encoded memories that
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are stored with the emotions that
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happened the first time the thwarted
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Sensations in our bodies that happened
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the first time and then of course the
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negative beliefs that we that we make up
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about ourselves as a result of what
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happened to us in the past and then we
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have to consider our epigenetics or the
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seeds that were planted and then the bad
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news is there's also seeds that are
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planted in our own offspring so we can
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we can um inadvertently pass along our
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epigenetic Tendencies and how we show up
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in the world uh into our Offspring uh
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the good news is is EMDR therapy which
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is the kind of therapy that I'm going to
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talk about a lot in our podcast is it
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changes the way our brain fires and
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wires data and it changes the way
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information is encoded and it can change
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the way our methyl groups and our RNA
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are organized and it can change the way
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our DNA shows up in our Offspring so if
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you're if you're inclined to do the work
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about yourself prior to um having
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children there's an there's an
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opportunity for you to change the way
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you will pass along DNA and information
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onto your onto your Offspring and I'm
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not going to dig in too much to that
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into that topic because we could go on
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for weeks and weeks about DNA and RNA
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and I am certainly not the expert in
