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Panic Attacks Explained: Grief Alarms, Not Random Fears
What if panic attacks are not random at all, but signals from a nervous system carrying unresolved grief, loss, or disconnection?
In this episode, we explore how panic can emerge after experiences that destabilize safety and attachment, sometimes years after the actual loss occurred.
Watch the full episode here: https://youtu.be/i2DuFgvHkP0
#PanicAttacks #GriefAndLoss #HealthAnxiety #EMDRTherapy #TraumaHealing
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0:00
desperation to restore that connection.
0:02
And in adults, especially if the history
0:05
precluded attachment rupture or loss,
0:08
the system can get activated. And so if
0:12
you have history of loss like divorce or
0:14
separation with your parents or the loss
0:17
through death or someone who was just
0:19
really lacking in emotional availability
0:21
or moved away that you relied upon then
0:23
as an adult you're more likely to be
0:25
impacted or affected by these activation
0:29
or activating events that happen in our
0:30
lives like for example when a
0:32
relationship ends or if a loved one dies
0:35
or if a sense of safety collapses in
0:37
that loss or if attachment bonds are
0:40
threat. threatened to be ceased. Grief
0:42
has not been fully integrated because of
0:44
a loss that has happened. So remember,
0:47
fear says I'm in danger where panic says
0:49
I've lost something that's essential. So
0:52
seen through this lens of panic being
0:55
part of the grief circuit. Panic attacks
0:57
are not random alarms, they're grief
0:59
alarms. The panic or grief system is
1:02
activated not to protect us from
1:04
predators but to protect us from being
1:06
alone or unsafe or disconnected in the
1:09
world. These conditions especially when
1:12
we were small meant death. We rely on
1:14
our caregivers to survive. This is also
1:17
why like children in orphanages who were
1:20
fed and they were cared for sometimes
1:23
just fame and die. they are completely
1:26
shutting down because they don't believe
1:29
that they have a chance to live because
1:30
they're not held or cared for enough
1:32
with the connection and nurture that we
1:34
need. So, this helps us explain why
1:37
panic attacks so often emerge after the
1:40
death of a parent or the death of a
1:42
partner or divorce or relationship
1:45
rupture or loss of a child. if there was
1:48
childhood emotional neglect or medical
1:51
trauma, major life transitions that
1:54
destabilized safety. And importantly,
1:56
panic often does not start at the time
1:59
of the loss. It can begin years later
2:02
when the nervous system finally runs out
2:04
of ways to hold it all together. So
2:06
panic attacks often begin not when the
2:09
loss happens, but when the body can no
2:11
longer contain it. So, let me give you
2:14
an example from a show that I love, Ted
2:16
Lasso, where um you see this and you
2:20
also can understand the origins of loss
2:22
or grief. Um, if you watch Ted Lasso,
2:26
you know what I'm talking about. If you
2:27
haven't watched Ted Lasso, put it on a
2:30
list of things you want to get to
2:31
because it's probably one of the best
2:33
shows that I've ever seen. So, the main
2:35
character, Ted, when he experiences
2:37
panic attacks on the show, many people
2:40
assume it's because of the stress or
2:42
pressure or the anxiety of his job. But
2:44
as the story unfolds, we learn something
2:47
deeper deeper, and that's that Ted's
2:49
panic is tied up in the loss of his
2:51
marriage or his primary partner. And
2:54
earlier than that, we recognize that he
2:56
also lost his father. And so, his
2:58
father's death created this unresolved
3:01
grief and a wound that hadn't been
3:03
resolved. And it's one that shaped how
3:05
Ted learned to cope. He suppresses
3:08
feelings and he stays positive. And when
3:10
his marriage ends, that unresolved grief
3:12
circuit is reactivated. And those panic
3:15
attacks aren't about fear of the present
3:17
moment. They're about the old loss that
3:19
is resurfacing in the body. That's the
3:22
panic grief system doing exactly what it
3:24
evolved to do. It's there to signal that
3:27
something deeply attachmentbased is
3:29
hurting and it's unresolved.
3:32
And so panic attacks are really common.
3:35
I'm sure you've heard people talking
3:36
about them. And they're far more common
3:38
than most people realize. About 2.7%
3:42
of US adults experience panic disorder
3:45
in a given
#People & Society