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Is your child anxious? Your parenting might be shaping it.
How we respond, model behavior, and support kids can make a huge difference in building confidence and resilience.
Watch to learn how small changes can ease childhood anxiety 👇
https://youtu.be/N-bxXFlM-IQ
#ChildhoodAnxiety #ParentingTips #MentalHealth #RaisingResilientKids
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0:00
So if a parent struggled with their own
0:02
anxiety, their own depression, their own
0:04
inability to regulate their emotion, the
0:07
child is very connected especially to
0:09
the mother and may have felt responsible
0:11
for the parents feelings or worried
0:14
about being the why in their parents'
0:16
stories um ultimately causing them
0:18
distress. You know, I'll tell my clients
0:21
things like we don't have a sense of
0:23
other when we're little. We don't start
0:24
to develop that until about the age of
0:26
12. And so everything is about me. If
0:28
I'm a little kid and no one's paying
0:30
attention, it must be because I'm bad.
0:32
It must be because I did something
0:34
wrong. Well, if you think about
0:36
adaptation, what ends up happening is I
0:38
then become very aware and vigilant as
0:41
to what I can do to fix that. And so it
0:44
becomes an unhelpful adaptation for a
0:46
child when they don't have that
0:48
consistent affection and nurture. So
0:50
that conditional affection looks like
0:53
love and attention might have been given
0:55
like I said but sometimes taken away or
0:58
a reward for good behavior. What a good
1:00
little girl for cleaning up the house
1:02
and now I'm going to give you so many
1:04
hugs and kisses and so now my connection
1:07
is paired with my good behavior and
1:09
those become tied. I have to hustle for
1:11
my worth. I have to do things so that I
1:14
can get the attention and the connection
1:16
from somebody. And so these might be
1:18
your hustle for your worth people who
1:19
are really high achievers and they
1:22
always are striving for the next thing.
1:24
Not healthy striving. That's different.
1:26
But they're always looking to try to be
1:28
shiny enough to get on somebody's radar
1:31
and they're in compliance. They're good
1:33
rule followers and they want to make
1:35
sure they're seen as as a good little
1:37
boy or a good little girl. Another thing
1:40
that happens is uh a parent can give
1:42
mixed signals. So they might say, "I
1:44
love you." But then they act withdrawn.
1:46
So, I love you too, but I can't bother
1:48
to tuck you in or go give you a kiss or
1:50
read you a story. And so, that can be
1:52
very confusing for a child a child or
1:55
let's say, you know, as a parents, we
1:57
have our own stresses, we have our
1:59
bills, we have our jobs, we have our
2:01
household chores, our everything else
2:03
that pulls us in every direction as a
2:04
parent. And so, I might be irritable. I
2:07
remember one time I came home, my second
2:09
youngest son says to me, I I came in the
2:12
house and the first thing I notice is
2:14
like the dishes are in the sink and he
2:16
didn't do his chores. And I'm thankful
2:19
to this day because he said to me, you
2:21
know, mom, you come in and the very
2:24
first thing you said is the complaint or
2:26
the problem that you see instead of
2:28
saying, hey babe, how was your day? I
2:30
hope that you had a good day. And
2:32
greeting him with with some connection.
2:34
And I really heard that. I mean, it
2:35
really stopped me in my tracks and I
2:37
thought, you know, he's right. And my
2:39
own irritability and my own overwhelm
2:41
and stress from my job, I didn't switch
2:43
states before coming into the house so
2:45
that I could meet my children with like
2:47
attunement and love and connection. And
2:49
so, this leaves a child confused and
2:52
they don't know what to necessarily
2:53
expect from their parent. And and many
2:55
of us are guilty of that. It's very hard
2:57
to be attuned and consistent all the
2:59
time. But if we have that pattern all
3:02
the time of the inconsistent love and
3:05
connection and attunement, it creates
3:06
anxiety in our offspring. And so another
3:10
trait that happens in a child is they
3:12
kind of become the little adults. They
3:14
try to anticipate and meet the needs of
3:15
others. They try to be caretakers of
3:18
their younger siblings. They try to jump
3:19
to be super helpful. And they often feel
3:22
anxious when they're separated from a
3:25
caregiver.
#Mental Health
#Anxiety & Stress
#Parenting