0:00
as a parent I think we need to give
0:01
ourselves Grace Circle back when we need
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to and we need to give our kids Grace
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because this is their first time trying
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to navigate these Waters as well and it
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it is going to be messy and bumpy and I
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love that you said you know I said I did
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it wrong and then they call me and they
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go yep you know you did this part wrong
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and I'm grateful to my kids when they
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tell me this wasn't this wasn't that
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could have gone better and here's what
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it could have looked like I think where
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it gets hard is when they don't know
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what they need that's really trick and
0:30
so we have to be even more patient when
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they don't know what to say about what
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they need and I I experiened that with
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with some of my kids too like what do
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you need it to look like and they don't
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have an answer and so then we have to
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wait because there's not much we can do
0:44
until they share with us what what it
0:46
could look like I was going to say that
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reminds me of of just even counseling
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and you know one of the things they
0:52
teach us is not to jump in to let the
0:55
person kind of sit with it and it's
0:56
really uncomfortable to sit with someone
0:58
when they're trying to figure out they
1:00
and you're going it's been a month it's
1:02
been six weeks when you know when when
1:05
do I get to when do I get to be back in
1:07
relationship because right we're waiting
1:10
for them to know to figure out to talk
1:12
to us it's it's really hard hard and we
1:15
have to give them the space to do it yes
1:17
and then balancing like but I'm here
1:18
just so you know I'm like still here
1:20
loving you I'm Still Here Yeah Yeah It's
1:22
Tricky It's Tricky territory for sure
1:24
and that really leads me to the last
1:26
topic we have to discuss which is really
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letting go I don't think I've done that
1:29
yet it's so hard it's so so hard and I
1:32
think that's where relying on if you're
1:34
lucky enough to have a spouse that you
1:35
get along with and find things in common
1:38
that piece is really critical is is
1:40
going it's time for us to rebuild the
1:42
foundation that was so ever important
1:45
refocusing on us and what we need and
1:48
how do we need to move forward because
1:50
letting go is the natural trajectory of
1:53
what we're meant to do and what they
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need from us even though it's so
1:56
incredibly challenging but it will be
1:58
better for them will be better people
2:00
for it stronger more resilient and we'll
2:04
all find our way and they they then get
2:07
to be proud of themselves for the
2:09
achievements that they accomplished
2:11
because it wasn't about us and they did
2:13
navigate it and they can lean in and ask
2:15
us questions and advice if they want to
2:17
but ultimately they get to take the
2:19
credit for the outcomes and I think
2:20
that's what we have to be sub excited
2:24
about but then we also don't have to
2:26
take responsibility for the outcomes
2:28
when they're less than favorable
2:30
yes and that's the freedom of letting go
2:32
too of saying listen that is really hard
2:36
what you're going through is just hard
2:38
right and I am not judging you for it I
2:40
have a lot of compassion but I also am
2:43
not really supposed to fix it for you
2:45
right and that's hard too it's hard to
2:48
sit in the discomfort of of choices that
2:50
we know are painful for our kids so this
2:52
ultimately though helps us to rekindle
2:54
that parent adult friendship or adult
2:58
adult friendship that can be so so
3:00
beautiful and and and the
3:01
counterintuitive piece that I'm learning
3:03
in my own Journey right now is my
3:05
ability to be better at letting go is
3:08
cultivating better friendships in my
3:10
adult children and and absolutely will
3:13
do so as that becomes more known and you
3:16
know tuned into would you agree I
3:18
absolutely would I think that's the
3:20
evolution again of the family and how we
3:23
always had traditions and traditions can
3:25
change so as we become adults and they
3:28
need to they're going to bring in stuff
3:30
to us and and enrich our lives too of
3:32
things we would never have tried
3:34
absolutely and so exciting to have the
3:36
the the ability to have the
3:38
dynamic fluidity of what can life look
