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She Chose Her Abusive Ex Over Me… Then It Got Dangerous | Reddit Stories
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0:00
Three years ago, I met Emily. Before we
0:03
started dating, she laid bare her past,
0:05
a relationship scarred by verbal and
0:08
emotional abuse and sometimes physical
0:10
violence.
0:12
She'd finally broken free after three
0:14
agonizing years. But there was a
0:17
complication. She'd bonded deeply with
0:19
her ex's child, practically raising the
0:22
kid. I understood and I supported her
0:26
staying in contact with the little one.
0:28
Her ex, however, decided to sever that
0:30
connection. For 4 months, there was
0:33
silence.
0:34
Then the harassment began. His calls and
0:37
texts became a relentless barrage of
0:39
derogatory jokes, cruel videos, and
0:42
taunts about how his child hated her. A
0:44
few nights ago, the insidious truth
0:46
finally surfaced. We were in bed, and
0:50
Emily in the bathroom asked me to check
0:52
a notification on her phone. It was him.
0:56
My heart sank. a cold dread seeping in.
0:59
I opened the message. They had been
1:01
chatting for months as if they were good
1:04
friends. Even worse, she'd tried to hide
1:07
it from me. Later, when he texted again,
1:10
I saw her quickly scroll past the
1:12
notification, a telltale sign of her
1:15
deception.
1:16
I confronted her, but she shrugged it
1:19
off, claiming he was just talking about
1:21
his kid. Days passed, the unease
1:24
festering. I knew I had to address it
1:26
directly. We sat down, the air thick
1:29
with unspoken questions. My mind was
1:32
spinning. "Why are you really texting
1:34
your ex, Emily?" I asked, needing
1:36
clarity, needing honesty. Her answer
1:39
stung, delivered with a nonchalance that
1:42
felt like a slap. She needed someone to
1:45
vent to about life, to talk to. And
1:47
apparently, I wasn't good enough for
1:49
that role. It made me feel small,
1:52
insignificant, like I wasn't the partner
1:54
she could confide in. It hurt more than
1:56
I expected. Then she showed me all the
1:59
messages. I'm not sure if she thought
2:01
full transparency would make it better,
2:03
but it only made things infinitely
2:05
worse.
2:06
She hadn't tried to delete anything,
2:08
perhaps believing this raw honesty would
2:10
calm me down. It didn't. I could see
2:14
right through her ex's intentions.
2:16
He wasn't just talking about his kid, as
2:18
she had claimed. No, it was more than
2:21
that. Subtle, yes, but the flirting was
2:24
there, undeniable.
2:26
He was trying to get in her head, trying
2:28
to pull her away from me, or at the very
2:30
least sew seeds of doubt about our
2:33
relationship.
2:34
He played the knight in shining armor,
2:36
the one who'd never cheat on her,
2:39
despite the fact that I knew he had
2:40
cheated on her twice before.
2:43
It was absurd, a twisted mockery of
2:45
truth. But what hurt the most was that
2:47
she didn't push back. She let it happen.
2:51
She let him say those things about me
2:52
and our relationship without defending
2:54
me, without a single word of protest.
2:57
What shocked me even more was that she
2:59
had told him she thought I had cheated
3:01
on her in the past. This was news to me.
3:05
She had never mentioned this accusation
3:06
to my face, but there it was written in
3:09
black and white. Apparently, she had
3:12
shared with him that she believed I had
3:14
cheated with my former boss. This was a
3:16
cruel distortion of reality. I used to
3:19
send memes to my boss and her wife, and
3:21
sometimes I'd help them with home
3:22
projects on weekends for a little extra
3:24
cash. Nothing more, nothing less. I'd
3:28
always kept Emily in the loop, sending
3:30
her pictures of the work I did, receipts
3:32
for supplies, even footage from their
3:35
home security cameras to keep an eye on
3:36
their three dogs.
3:38
I was transparent, open, and never once
3:42
had she brought up any suspicion to me.
3:45
Yet there she was telling her ex
3:47
something completely different. In the
3:48
messages, he ranted about how he would
3:50
have beaten me to a pulp if he was still
3:53
in town. He went on about how furious he
3:56
was, even admitting to punching holes in
3:58
his walls over this fabricated betrayal.
4:01
It was all so dramatic and cheesy, a
4:04
performance for her benefit. But what
4:06
bothered me the most was that she hadn't
4:08
done anything to clear the air. She
4:10
didn't tell him that she and I had
4:12
worked through her concerns, that I had
4:14
never actually cheated, or that the
4:16
whole thing was just a misunderstanding.
4:19
She let him continue thinking I was
4:20
untrustworthy, letting him fuel his
4:23
anger and continue with his threats.
4:25
Whether she took those threats seriously
4:27
or not, the fact that she hadn't stepped
4:30
in to diffuse the situation felt like a
4:32
profound betrayal, I wasn't just upset.
4:35
I was heartbroken.
4:37
Here I was, bending over backward to
4:40
show her that I was trustworthy, trying
4:42
my best to make her feel secure in our
4:44
relationship. And yet, none of that
4:46
seemed to matter. No matter how much I
4:48
did for her, it felt like I wasn't
4:50
enough. She didn't trust me. Not really.
4:53
And that realization hit me hard, a
4:55
crushing weight. I knew I had to take
4:58
control. I pressed her, laying it all
5:00
out, my voice firm despite the tremor in
5:03
my hands. I told her she had two
5:05
choices. Either she cuts him off
5:07
completely and we go to therapy to work
5:10
through this mess or she can continue to
5:12
talk to him and I walk away from the
5:15
relationship for good. At that moment, I
5:18
wasn't sure what I even wanted. Part of
5:21
me knew I should have ended it right
5:22
then and there. I should have packed up
5:25
my things and walked out the door. But a
5:28
part of me was curious. I wanted to see
5:30
what she would choose, how she would
5:33
respond when faced with the ultimatum.
5:35
The silence between us was heavy,
5:37
suffocating as she molded over. I could
5:40
see the conflict in her eyes, and it
5:43
only made things worse.
5:45
How could this even be a choice for her?
5:48
How could cutting ties with someone who
5:49
had hurt her so deeply and who was now
5:52
actively trying to sabotage our
5:53
relationship even be up for debate? And
5:57
yet, there she was, hesitating.
6:00
I wasn't sure what to expect. Maybe deep
6:03
down I was hoping she'd realize how
6:05
toxic the situation was and agree to cut
6:08
him off for good.
6:10
Maybe I wanted her to choose me, to
6:12
choose us. But watching her sit there
6:16
torn between her abusive ex and our
6:18
relationship, I started to realize that
6:20
maybe I wasn't the problem. Maybe it
6:23
wasn't about me not being enough. Maybe
6:26
it was about her not being ready to let
6:27
go of something she should have walked
6:29
away from a long time ago. In the end,
6:31
her decision would dictate the future of
6:33
our relationship.
6:35
But in that moment, I knew that no
6:38
matter what, things would never be the
6:40
same again. Even if she chose me, the
6:43
damage was done, the trust was broken,
6:46
and I wasn't sure if it could ever be
6:48
fully repaired.
6:50
I ended the conversation there, leaving
6:52
the ball in her court.
6:54
A few hours later, she came to me. She
6:57
told me she had thought long and hard
6:58
about it.
7:00
She refused to cut him off, saying her
7:02
only chance to talk to his child again
7:04
was by talking to him. "If a child that
7:07
isn't even yours and a man who abused
7:09
you is all you really care about," I
7:11
said, my voice laced with a bitterness I
7:13
couldn't control, then good luck with
7:15
that. I grabbed my stuff and left.
7:19
"Rude?" "Yeah, I let my emotions get the
7:21
better of me." I called her parents,
7:23
great people, and ended up telling them
7:25
we'd split. They were genuinely sorry
7:28
things had turned out the way they did.
7:31
They even invited me out for dinner
7:32
Friday, just me and them, so I could
7:35
pick up some tools I'd loaned them and
7:36
talk more about it. I thought about
7:39
declining, but her mom is too sweet for
7:41
her own good, and her dad and I always
7:44
have a blast having a drink together, so
7:46
I'm going Friday. I've doubled down on
7:49
my decision, and knowing them, they
7:51
probably won't press me to try to make
7:53
it work. After all this, I'm going to
7:55
treat myself to a nice bottle of sake
7:57
I've been saving in my fridge and just
7:58
relax. Update one. Emily tried
8:02
contacting me non-stop, calling,
8:04
messaging, begging me to talk with her
8:06
and work things out. I replied only
8:09
once, a single concise message. I gave
8:12
her a chance to work this out, to
8:14
compromise and go to therapy together,
8:17
only for her to refuse and choose her ex
8:19
and his child over me.
8:21
Apparently yesterday he cut contact with
8:24
her, blocking her on everything.
8:26
Honestly, I saw it coming. He'll
8:29
probably do it all over again when she
8:31
finds a new guy. She's a wreck, and I
8:34
pity her somewhat. But she's made her
8:36
bed, and it's time for her to lay in it.
8:39
I told her there would be no second
8:41
chance, that I was finished the moment
8:43
she made her values clear and again
8:45
suggested she get therapy. I wished her
8:48
the best and then deleted her off my
8:50
phone and anything else she was on. I
8:52
went out to dinner with her parents last
8:53
night and it was actually a good time.
8:56
They were kind yet to the point. Her
8:59
parents told me not to mince words or
9:00
leave bits out and just tell them
9:02
exactly what had been going on. I tried
9:05
to tell them that while I respected
9:07
them, I didn't want to drag them into
9:09
our relationship problems and wanted
9:11
there to be no issues with them and
9:12
their daughter. Her dad, however, told
9:15
me they had already had a long talk with
9:17
Emily and regardless wanted to hear my
9:20
input. So, we talked. I told them about
9:23
her ex and his kid, his threats, him
9:26
trying to break up our relationship.
9:28
Well, I guess you can say he did now.
9:31
Her lying and hiding his messages. I
9:34
told them I gave her the choice and what
9:35
she chose.
9:37
I insisted to them that they take her to
9:39
seek professional help, that if she
9:42
keeps this up, she's going to tear
9:44
herself up in any future relationship.
9:47
I want her to be happy someday, but it
9:50
just won't be with me. I'm tired of the
9:52
lies and deceit. I just want to move
9:54
forward and live my life, and I hope she
9:56
can do the same. Their response was not
9:59
exactly what I expected. They apologized
10:01
to me for her actions, that they were
10:03
disappointed that things turned out as
10:05
they had, but supported my decision to
10:07
walk away from her. I won't lie, I had
10:11
expected them to ask me to talk to Emily
10:13
and try to move past it, but not an
10:15
inkling of that. Her mom came and gave
10:18
me a hug, but her dad just seemed
10:20
dejected. I'd never seen this man look
10:23
this way, and it felt like a punch to
10:25
the gut.
10:26
It hurt seeing him like that, knowing
10:29
there was nothing I could do. We ended
10:32
up just sitting there in silence for a
10:33
minute before he decided to order a
10:35
round of shots. A round turned into two,
10:38
and that seemed to help relax everyone
10:40
as we started chatting about my future
10:42
plans, their retirement goals, and
10:44
hopes. We were out for 3 hours chatting
10:47
as if we were just normal people. I had
10:50
a great time, even while it hurt. We
10:52
cried a few times. We also laughed and
10:55
remembered past times when we'd make a
10:57
fool out of ourselves. When we were
10:58
about to part ways, her dad gave me a
11:00
bone crushing handshake and a hug, which
11:03
her mom ended up joining in. This man
11:05
has never hugged me, so I was really
11:07
caught by surprise. They told me to take
11:09
care of myself, eat healthy, don't sink
11:12
myself in alcohol, and just focus on
11:14
getting through the days.
11:17
They're going to look at options for
11:18
therapy for Emily and recommended that I
11:21
do the same, which I think I'll do.
11:24
They handed me a bag with my tools, said
11:27
they're going to miss me, but wished me
11:28
the best. I gave them my goodbyes, and
11:32
we parted ways. I feel like a huge
11:35
weight has been lifted both off my chest
11:36
and my shoulders. I decided I'm taking a
11:40
break from dating. One day, I'll find
11:42
someone, but that's all in the back of
11:44
my mind. Update two. A few months had
11:48
passed since the split, and life had
11:50
taken its own course, but then it
11:53
started. Emily's name would occasionally
11:55
pop up in random places, a mutual friend
11:59
mentioning an awkward encounter or a
12:01
colleague alluding to a cryptic message
12:03
they'd received from her. At first, I
12:06
brushed these off as coincidences, but
12:08
the frequency and intensity of her
12:10
actions soon became impossible to
12:12
ignore. One evening while relaxing at
12:14
home, I received a message from a friend
12:16
who worked at a local security firm.
12:19
They informed me that Emily had been
12:20
inquiring about security systems and
12:22
surveillance equipment, specifically
12:24
targeting a location not far from where
12:26
I lived. My heart sank. I couldn't shake
12:30
the feeling that something sinister was
12:32
brewing. I decided to reach out to Emily
12:34
directly, hoping to clear the air and
12:36
understand her intentions. But my calls
12:38
and messages went unanswered.
12:41
Days turned into weeks, and the signs of
12:43
her obsession grew more disturbing.
12:46
I began to receive reports from my
12:48
neighbors about someone frequently
12:49
lurking around the building.
12:52
A few times, I even spotted someone
12:54
watching from across the street, their
12:56
presence eerily familiar. My concerns
12:58
mounted when I learned that Emily had
13:00
been showing up at places I frequented,
13:03
always keeping her distance, but never
13:05
quite hiding her intent.
13:07
The situation escalated further when I
13:10
received a call from a local moving
13:12
company. They had been contacted by
13:14
Emily, who was now actively searching
13:17
for a new house to move into. Her focus,
13:20
it seemed, was on making my life as
13:22
uncomfortable as possible.
13:25
She had apparently gotten wind of the
13:26
fact that I was considering a home
13:28
purchase and decided to do whatever she
13:31
could to disrupt my plans.
13:33
It wasn't long before things reached a
13:35
breaking point.
13:37
One night after coming back from dinner
13:39
with friends, I found a note on my door.
13:42
It was a rambling, incoherent message
13:44
from Emily expressing her frustration
13:47
and her twisted view of our
13:49
relationship. It was filled with
13:51
accusations and threats veiled beneath a
13:53
facade of longing and desperation.
13:56
The note was unsettling, a stark
13:59
reminder of how far she had fallen from
14:01
the person I once knew. I immediately
14:03
contacted the authorities and explained
14:05
the situation. They took the matter
14:07
seriously and an investigation was
14:09
launched.
14:11
Emily's behavior had crossed into
14:12
harassment and her persistent attempts
14:15
to intrude into my life were now a legal
14:17
concern. I provided them with the
14:20
evidence I had collected. Messages,
14:22
witness statements, and the disturbing
14:24
note. The police were thorough and
14:27
assured me that they would take
14:28
appropriate action.
14:30
Despite the legal measures, Emily's
14:32
behavior didn't cease. It only grew more
14:35
frantic. She started sending cryptic
14:38
messages to my family and friends,
14:40
trying to manipulate them into
14:42
contacting me on her behalf. The once
14:45
clear boundary between our lives was now
14:47
muddled by her relentless pursuit. The
14:49
turning point came when Emily's actions
14:51
became so invasive that it prompted a
14:54
full intervention.
14:56
The security firm I'd contacted had
14:58
gathered enough information to present a
15:00
case against her. She was confronted
15:02
with the evidence of her stalking and
15:04
harassment, and it was made clear that
15:06
she needed to cease all contact
15:08
immediately or face legal consequences.
15:11
Faced with the potential of criminal
15:13
charges and the pressure from her own
15:15
deteriorating mental state, Emily was
15:17
forced to make a drastic decision.
15:20
She chose to move away, abandoning the
15:22
town where her obsession had begun to
15:24
unravel her life. Her departure was
15:27
sudden, and the neighbors who had
15:28
witnessed her bizarre behavior were
15:30
relieved to see her go. The moving
15:32
company that had initially been
15:34
contacted reported that her new location
15:36
was far removed from the area, and her
15:38
name eventually faded from local news
15:40
and gossip. In the aftermath, I found a
15:43
renewed sense of peace.
15:45
The constant fear and anxiety had
15:48
finally subsided and I could return to
15:50
focusing on my own well-being.
15:53
Though the experience had left a mark,
15:55
it also reinforced my resolve to protect
15:57
my personal space and mental health.
16:00
Emily's journey had become a cautionary
16:02
tale, a reminder of how fragile trust
16:05
can be and the lengths to which some
16:06
people might go when consumed by
16:08
unresolved issues.
16:10
As time went on, I began to rebuild my
16:13
life step by step. The scars of the past
16:16
remained, but they became a part of my
16:18
story. A chapter that ultimately led to
16:21
greater self-awareness and resilience.
16:24
I knew that healing was a process and I
16:27
approached it with patience and hope for
16:28
a brighter future.