Up next in 10
She Abused Me, Then Played the Victim — Everyone Believed Her | True Story
Aug 8, 2025
#redditrelationship #aita #redditstories She Abused Me, Then Played the Victim — Everyone Believed Her | True Story This is the story I never thought I’d share. I was accused of being a monster, an abuser, and a manipulator — but none of it was true. Three months ago, I left my girlfriend on the side of the road after she physically attacked me while I was driving. What followed was a storm of lies, betrayal, and the loss of everything I held dear. Everyone believed her. No one believed me. Until the truth came out. This is a story about emotional abuse, manipulation, and how easily someone can twist the truth to make you the villain. I’m telling this not for sympathy, but because someone out there might be in the same situation — and needs to hear this. 👉 Was I really the villain? Watch till the end. ⚠️ Trigger warning: Emotional abuse, gaslighting, physical aggression. 🔔 Don’t forget to like, comment, and subscribe if this story hit you hard or helped you reflect.
View Video Transcript
0:00
The title sounds awful, I know, but
0:02
please hear me out. This happened three
0:05
months ago, and I'm still reeling from
0:07
the fallout. I need to know if I'm the
0:09
monster everyone says I am. I'm 25, and
0:13
my now ex-girlfriend Sarah is 23. We
0:17
were together for 2 years. I thought I
0:19
loved her. To the outside world, Sarah
0:22
was a sweetheart. She lit up every room
0:24
she entered, charming everyone with her
0:26
warmth. People would always tell me how
0:29
lucky I was. What they didn't see was
0:31
the person behind closed doors.
0:33
Arguments, no matter how small, would
0:35
turn into huge fights.
0:38
If I tried to express my feelings, she
0:40
would flip the script and make me the
0:42
bad guy. She was a master manipulator,
0:45
playing the victim until I felt
0:47
unreasonable or cruel for even bringing
0:49
something up.
0:50
She'd give me the silent treatment for
0:52
days, threaten to break up with me, and
0:54
make me beg for forgiveness for
0:56
imaginary offenses.
0:58
"Maybe we should just end this," she'd
1:00
say. Or, "I don't think you really love
1:03
me. I've always hated conflict, so I'd
1:07
be the one to apologize first, even when
1:09
I knew I'd done nothing wrong."
1:12
I'd buy her flowers and write long
1:13
apologetic texts, desperate to fix
1:16
whatever I had supposedly broken.
1:19
Looking back, I can see how toxic this
1:22
was.
1:23
At the time, I thought I was being a
1:25
good boyfriend, putting her feelings
1:26
first. The physical abuse started 6
1:30
months before the incident. At first, it
1:32
was little things. A playful shove when
1:35
she was annoyed, a slap on the arm she'd
1:37
laugh off as just being playful.
1:40
But it got worse. When she was really
1:43
angry, she would push me hard, grab my
1:45
arms, or throw things.
1:48
One time she threw a coffee mug at my
1:50
head because I forgot to pick up her dry
1:52
cleaning. It missed but shattered
1:55
against the wall. When I told her it
1:57
wasn't okay, she burst into tears and
2:00
said I was a monster for making her feel
2:01
bad about her emotions. I ended up
2:04
apologizing to her again. No one would
2:06
have believed me if I told them. I'm 6'2
2:09
and Sarah is 5'4.
2:12
The idea of this petite, sweet girl
2:14
being physically aggressive would have
2:15
sounded laughable.
2:17
The night that changed everything was a
2:19
Sunday in March. We were driving home
2:21
from visiting her parents, a 2-hour
2:23
drive through a rural forested area. The
2:26
visit had gone well, and I thought we
2:28
were having a good day. But about
2:30
halfway home, Sarah got angry about
2:33
something her parents had said at
2:34
dinner. They had complimented me on a
2:36
recent work promotion, and she was
2:38
convinced they had paid more attention
2:40
to me than her. The conversation had
2:43
lasted 2 minutes, and the rest of the
2:45
evening was focused on her, but she was
2:47
convinced I had stolen her spotlight.
2:49
She started accusing me of being an
2:50
attention seeker, of not caring about
2:53
her feelings.
2:54
I tried to stay calm and point out that
2:57
I had barely spoken, but that only made
2:59
her angrier.
3:01
She accused me of gaslighting her, of
3:04
trying to make her feel crazy. The
3:06
accusations grew more and more absurd.
3:09
She claimed I had flirted with a
3:11
waitress at lunch and was probably
3:13
cheating on her with a coworker I'd
3:14
mentioned once. I made the mistake of
3:17
laughing at that last one because it was
3:19
so ridiculous.
3:21
My laughter sent her into a complete
3:23
rage. She started screaming, calling me
3:26
names, and saying she should have
3:27
listened to her friends who told her I
3:29
wasn't good enough. Then she said, "I'm
3:32
done with this. Pull over right now and
3:34
let me out. I'd rather walk home than
3:37
spend another second in this car with
3:38
you. I told her she was being
3:40
ridiculous. We were in the middle of
3:42
nowhere and it was getting dark. We
3:45
could talk about it when we got home.
3:47
She kept demanding I pull over. I
3:50
refused, trying to deescalate.
3:53
I said we were almost at the next town
3:55
and I'd drop her off there if she really
3:56
wanted, but I wasn't leaving her on the
3:58
side of a dark road. That's when she
4:01
completely lost it. She started hitting
4:03
me. not playful slaps, but real punches
4:06
to my face and shoulder while I was
4:08
driving. She was screaming, "Let me out!
4:10
Let me out!" and hitting me over and
4:13
over. I was trying to keep the car
4:16
steady, but it was starting to swerve. I
4:19
was terrified we would crash. I shouted
4:22
at her to stop, that she was going to
4:24
cause an accident, but she wouldn't
4:26
listen. Finally, I saw a safe place to
4:28
pull over.
4:30
It was at the top of a small hill, and I
4:32
could see the lights of the next town a
4:34
few miles away. The road was well lit
4:37
and downhill. The second I stopped,
4:40
Sarah jumped out and slammed the door,
4:42
walking toward town without a backward
4:44
glance. I sat there for 10 minutes,
4:46
trying to calm down. My face was
4:49
throbbing, and I was shaking from the
4:51
adrenaline.
4:52
Part of me wanted to go after her, but I
4:55
was terrified she would start hitting me
4:56
again.
4:58
After 10 minutes, I drove slowly
5:00
alongside her, and rolled down the
5:02
window. I asked if she wanted to get
5:04
back in the car. She turned, told me to
5:08
leave her alone, and that she never
5:10
wanted to see me again. So, I left. I
5:13
spent the whole night worrying about
5:14
her, checking my phone for a call or a
5:17
text. There was nothing. The next
5:20
morning, I woke up to 47 missed calls
5:23
and over 100 texts, but none from Sarah.
5:27
They were from her friends, her family,
5:29
my friends, and even my own family. They
5:32
were all calling me a monster, an abuser
5:34
who had abandoned his girlfriend in the
5:36
forest. Sarah had made it back to town
5:38
just fine. But that's not the story she
5:41
told.
5:42
According to her, I had left her in the
5:45
middle of a dark forest with no phone
5:46
and no money. She said she had to walk
5:49
for miles in the dark, that she was
5:51
terrified and thought she might die.
5:55
She posted on social media about her
5:57
terrifying experience, sharing photos of
6:00
her feet with blisters, claiming her
6:02
shoes had fallen apart.
6:05
The story grew more and more dramatic
6:07
with each telling.
6:09
By the time it reached my family, she
6:11
was claiming I had driven her hours away
6:13
from civilization, that there were wild
6:16
animals, and that she had to drink from
6:18
a stream to survive.
6:20
None of it was true.
6:22
We were never more than a few miles from
6:24
town. The road was well lit and she had
6:27
her phone,
6:28
but no one wanted to hear my side. My
6:31
own mother called me crying, asking how
6:33
I could do such a horrible thing.
6:36
My sister said she was ashamed to be
6:38
related to me. Her father left a
6:40
voicemail threatening to kill me. Her
6:43
brother showed up at my workplace and
6:44
caused such a scene my boss had to call
6:46
security. I tried to explain what
6:49
happened, but everyone said I was
6:51
justifying abuse.
6:53
When I told them she was hitting me,
6:54
they acted like I was making it up.
6:56
Sarah played her part perfectly. She
6:59
acted traumatized and heartbroken.
7:02
I never thought he was capable of
7:03
something like this, she'd say. I guess
7:06
I never really knew him at all.
7:09
Several of our mutual friends organized
7:11
an intervention for me, telling me I
7:12
needed help for my anger issues.
7:15
I was so confused and hurt that I
7:17
started to wonder if I was the monster
7:19
they all thought I was. Maybe I should
7:22
have just let her hit me. I went to a
7:24
therapist who helped me realize that
7:26
what Sarah did was abuse and that I had
7:28
every right to protect myself. But the
7:31
damage was done.
7:34
I lost friendships and my family
7:36
relationships were strained for months.
7:38
I was a social pariah while Sarah was
7:41
being treated like a hero for speaking
7:42
out about domestic violence. Then two
7:45
months later, everything changed. Sarah
7:48
had started dating a new guy, Mike, a
7:51
lawyer she met through her advocacy
7:53
work. He seemed like a decent person. 3
7:56
weeks into their relationship, Sarah's
7:59
best friend, Emma, saw something that
8:01
made her question everything.
8:03
Emma had a key to Sarah's apartment and
8:05
let herself in, finding Sarah and Mike
8:08
in the middle of a huge fight.
8:10
According to Emma, Sarah was screaming
8:13
and throwing things at Mike just like
8:15
she had with me.
8:17
Mike was calmly trying to deescalate the
8:19
situation, but Sarah slapped him across
8:22
the face, then immediately started
8:24
crying and accusing him of making her
8:26
feel unsafe.
8:28
It was the exact same pattern of abuse
8:30
she had used on me, but Emma was seeing
8:33
it for the first time without Sarah's
8:35
spin. Emma left without being seen, but
8:37
she couldn't stop thinking about it.
8:40
She started remembering other incidents
8:42
over the years where Sarah's version of
8:44
events didn't quite add up. A few days
8:47
later, Emma called me, apologized for
8:49
not believing me, and asked me to tell
8:51
her what had really happened that night.
8:54
I told her the whole story. She listened
8:57
without judgment, and when I was
8:59
finished, she said something that almost
9:01
made me cry.
9:03
I believe you, and I'm sorry it took me
9:06
so long to see the truth. Emma started
9:08
digging. She talked to Sarah's
9:10
ex-boyfriends, former roommates, and
9:12
family members. The pattern was always
9:15
the same. Sarah would create drama, and
9:18
then play the victim. Emma also found
9:20
out that Sarah had called an Uber from
9:22
town, not walked for miles.
9:25
She found photos on Sarah's phone that
9:27
contradicted her story, and most
9:29
damaging, a Snapchat video Sarah had
9:31
posted from a gas station less than an
9:33
hour after I left her.
9:35
In the video, Sarah looked completely
9:38
normal, not traumatized.
9:40
She was buying snacks and complaining
9:42
about waiting for a ride. Emma took all
9:44
this information to our mutual friends,
9:46
and slowly the truth came out. People
9:49
started to realize they had been
9:51
manipulated. A few of my closest friends
9:53
reached out to apologize. My family was
9:56
harder to convince, but even they
9:58
started to see that Sarah wasn't the
9:59
innocent victim she had pretended to be.
10:02
The final straw came when Mike, Sarah's
10:05
new boyfriend, reached out to me. He
10:07
said Emma had told him what she saw and
10:10
he wanted to hear my story because Sarah
10:12
was treating him the exact same way. He
10:15
broke up with her the next day, making
10:16
sure to tell people exactly why. He
10:19
didn't want to go through what I had.
10:21
When Sarah realized her manipulation
10:23
wasn't working, she tried a new tactic.
10:27
She reached out to me, claiming she had
10:29
been in therapy and wanted to apologize.
10:32
She said she still cared about me and
10:34
wanted to work things out. The old me
10:37
might have fallen for it, but therapy
10:39
had taught me to recognize hoovering
10:41
tactics. I told her I wasn't interested
10:44
and that we should have no contact. She
10:46
didn't take it well, immediately going
10:48
back to her old tricks and telling
10:49
people I was refusing to accept her
10:51
heartfelt apology.
10:54
But this time, most people saw right
10:56
through it. It's been a month since the
10:59
truth came to light, and I'm still
11:01
dealing with the aftermath.
11:03
Some friendships are repaired, but
11:05
others are permanently damaged.
11:08
My family relationships are slowly
11:10
getting better, but there's still
11:12
tension. My mother admitted she was
11:14
wrong, but also said she wished I had
11:17
handled the situation differently, that
11:19
I should have been the bigger person and
11:21
just driven Sarah home. I've learned a
11:23
lot about myself.
11:25
I have a tendency to accept unacceptable
11:27
behavior and I need to be better at
11:29
setting boundaries.
11:31
I also know that some people will always
11:33
believe the most dramatic version of a
11:35
story.
11:37
Sarah knew exactly how to manipulate
11:39
emotions and she was good at it. The
11:42
hardest part is knowing she'll probably
11:44
do this to someone else. I've thought
11:46
about warning people, but I know it
11:48
would just make me look vindictive.
11:50
People have to learn for themselves. So,
11:53
was I wrong? I know I didn't abandon her
11:56
in a dangerous wilderness. I know she
11:59
was physically attacking me while I was
12:00
driving, putting both our lives at risk.
12:03
I know I had every right to protect
12:05
myself. But I also know the optics were
12:08
terrible.
12:10
I know leaving a woman on the side of
12:11
the road, even under these
12:13
circumstances, looks bad.
12:16
In that moment, with her punching me in
12:18
the face, I made the best decision I
12:20
could. I got us both to a safe place and
12:23
removed myself from a dangerous
12:25
situation.
12:26
I'm not proud of how it all ended. I
12:29
wish I had recognized her behavior
12:31
sooner, but I'm not sorry for protecting
12:34
myself that night, and I'm not sorry for
12:36
refusing to accept blame for her abuse.
12:40
I just want to know given all the facts,
12:43
was I really the villain in this
#Discrimination & Identity Relations
#Human Rights & Liberties
#Violence & Abuse