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My Pregnant Wife Resented Our Baby—Until She Told Me the Truth | Reddit Story
When I married the love of my life, I never imagined that expecting our first child together would tear us apart. I already had a daughter from a previous relationship, and what should have been a joyful time became a storm of resentment, confusion, and emotional distance.
This is the raw, unfiltered story of how my wife struggled with not being my “first,” how jealousy and fear almost destroyed us, and how love, patience, and finally, open communication saved our growing family. From returning baby gifts to hiding her pregnancy from me, she pushed me away in pain. But when the truth came out, everything changed.
If you’ve ever struggled with blended family dynamics, insecurity, or the weight of unspoken fears, this story is for you. It’s a journey of empathy, healing, and choosing love again.
🔔 Subscribe for more real-life relationship stories.
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0:00
Her therapist, a voice of reason in a
0:02
sea of confusion, offered a theory,
0:04
resentment. He believed that because I
0:07
had a 5-year-old daughter, Leah, from a
0:09
previous relationship, my wife felt her
0:11
own pregnancy was somehow less special,
0:14
less unique. Once this idea was planted,
0:17
my wife, whom I loved dearly, seemed to
0:19
go off the rails.
0:21
The baby shower, a celebration meant to
0:23
unite us in anticipation, became a
0:25
public spectacle of her pain.
0:28
She interrupted the festivities to
0:30
announce to everyone present that this
0:32
would not be my first kid. She warned
0:35
them not to ask if they saw her
0:36
distancing herself from me, claiming it
0:38
might trigger her. In private, her words
0:41
were even more cutting.
0:43
If I dared to mention her growing belly,
0:46
she'd retort with barbed comments about
0:48
how my ex's bump was probably bigger.
0:51
She refused to acknowledge me as the
0:53
baby's father, going so far as to call
0:55
me the nut donor to her own mother. She
0:58
wore the loosest clothing, even pulling
1:00
her shirt down when I entered a room, as
1:02
if to hide the very miracle we were
1:05
creating. One afternoon, she sat on me,
1:08
her bump pressing against my chest. It
1:11
was the first time I'd truly felt it, a
1:14
profound, intimate connection.
1:16
I instinctively ran my hands over her
1:18
belly, my voice thick with emotion. "You
1:22
are the most beautiful woman I've ever
1:24
seen," I whispered. "You're already a
1:27
great mom to Leah, and I can't wait to
1:29
see you as our family grows."
1:32
I rested my hand there, feeling the
1:34
faint stirrings of life.
1:36
"I love you so much already, little one.
1:39
I'm so excited to meet you. I hope you
1:42
have your mom's eyes." She moved away
1:45
abruptly. her voice laced with
1:47
bitterness.
1:48
I know your ex had a bigger bump than
1:50
me. I bet it was fun seeing Leah move
1:52
all the time. You don't have to act like
1:55
you care. I know you've done this
1:57
before.
1:58
My heart achd.
2:00
I don't think about it that way. I
2:02
pleaded. Leah is special, but this is a
2:05
completely new and different special
2:07
because it's with you and our baby is
2:09
someone completely new and special.
2:13
She began to leave the room. her
2:15
shoulders shaking with silent sobs.
2:18
I was 100% certain she wasn't cheating.
2:21
Her behavior was a baffling enigma.
2:24
Why didn't she want me to be happy about
2:26
our child?
2:28
The rest of our relationship was normal,
2:30
even wonderful. As long as the baby
2:32
wasn't mentioned, she was affectionate,
2:35
initiated intimacy, and bragged about
2:37
what a good husband I was, how great I'd
2:40
made this pregnancy.
2:42
We planned our future, had date nights,
2:44
did everything a happy couple does. But
2:47
the baby was a forbidden topic, a chasm
2:50
between us. Then came the fight that
2:52
shattered everything. During a break at
2:54
work, I went to a local baby store,
2:57
picking out all the nursery items she'd
2:58
meticulously pinned to her Pinterest
3:00
board. I came home surprising her with
3:03
flowers, a prenatal massage certificate,
3:06
her favorite food, and the baby items.
3:09
She seemed genuinely grateful.
3:12
But when I returned home after my next
3:13
shift, the items were gone. She'd
3:17
returned them, she said, to buy Leah
3:18
stuff, claiming Leah would feel left
3:20
out. I lost it. For the first time in
3:24
our marriage, I cried, yelling that
3:26
having a child with her was the worst
3:28
mistake I've ever made. I screamed that
3:31
at least my unfaithful ex had given me
3:32
the chance to know my unborn child, that
3:35
I didn't care about the baby because she
3:37
wouldn't even let me bond with it. "Of
3:40
course, I did care fiercely. But I was
3:43
trying to hurt her as she had hurt me.
3:46
I hope you're as miserable as you've
3:48
made me," I spat. "And you better be
3:50
prepared for a custody dispute." Her
3:53
response was chillingly calm. "I know
3:55
you don't care about the baby, but I'll
3:57
die before you take my baby from me.
4:00
I begged her to let me interact with her
4:02
with our baby. She simply reiterated
4:05
that I'd had those experiences already,
4:08
so it shouldn't matter.
4:11
In a fit of peak, I asked if the baby
4:13
was even mine. I knew it was, but I was
4:16
lashing out. She threw her phone at me.
4:19
Yes, go through it. I'll do a paternity
4:22
test. Whatever you need. I called her
4:25
parents, asking them to go to our house,
4:27
explaining we were having a
4:28
disagreement.
4:30
I checked into a hotel, desperately
4:32
needing space, terrified of stressing
4:34
her or our unborn child. I wanted to
4:38
repair this, but I had no idea how. I
4:41
missed her terribly, and the reason for
4:43
her behavior remained an agonizing
4:45
mystery. I apologized for my words, but
4:47
they hung in the air irrevocable. I
4:50
worried about the baby's birth, if she
4:52
would ever truly let me be a father, if
4:55
we would ever be a family. After stewing
4:57
for a while and a couple of drinks, I
4:59
called my father-in-law.
5:01
He and my wife are incredibly close, and
5:04
I respected his opinion. He had a long,
5:07
happy marriage and good relationships
5:09
with his family. I didn't go into
5:11
specifics, but he knew we were having
5:13
problems.
5:15
He had a more traditional view of
5:17
marriage and at some point he asked what
5:19
I had to lose by putting pressure on her
5:21
to talk. "You're already living in a
5:24
separate house from your pregnant wife,
5:26
freaking out about a potential divorce,"
5:28
he said. "What do you have to lose? Be a
5:32
man. Go back home and lay it on the
5:34
line."
5:36
I agreed. The next day, after my in-laws
5:39
took Leah for the night, I returned home
5:41
with flowers and groceries to make
5:43
dinner. My wife, surprised, asked what I
5:45
was doing there. I live here, I replied.
5:49
And I'd like to sit down and talk. I
5:51
offered a long, heartfelt apology for my
5:54
words and actions.
5:56
When I finished, I told her it was her
5:58
turn. She tried to claim nothing was
6:00
wrong, that everything was okay. I
6:04
pushed gently, my voice breaking.
6:07
My heart is broken. We've been through
6:09
so much, fought for each other, and now
6:11
you're sitting here lying to my face.
6:14
She cried for 30 minutes, a torrent of
6:16
silent tears, until finally she
6:19
confessed. She feared our relationship
6:22
would end if she was honest. I promised
6:24
to hear her out no matter what. She
6:26
admitted it was hard because this would
6:28
be her first child, but not mine. She
6:30
hadn't thought it would bother her, but
6:32
once pregnant, it consumed her.
6:35
She lay awake at night, convinced that
6:38
if my ex had wanted to raise Leah, we
6:40
would still be a family and she wouldn't
6:42
matter. Seeing me emotional about our
6:45
baby, wanting to touch her bump, or
6:47
treating her well, triggered thoughts of
6:49
me and my ex how I had already done all
6:52
of these things, she was excited to
6:54
experience for the first time. Early in
6:56
her pregnancy, she told a close friend
6:59
she couldn't wait to have a baby with
7:00
her soulmate.
7:02
Her friend had replied that soulmates
7:04
don't have other children or baby mamas,
7:07
that soulmates were two people meant
7:09
only for each other. This deeply upset
7:12
her, she asked if I thought we were
7:14
soulmates as she did. She described
7:17
herself and our unborn child as my
7:20
sloppy seconds family. Convinced that no
7:22
one grew up dreaming of having kids with
7:24
multiple different people, and that she
7:27
was just the substitute when the family
7:29
I wanted didn't work out, she confessed
7:31
to finding old pictures of my ex online,
7:34
obsessively comparing her pregnant body
7:36
to my ex's. She feared our baby wouldn't
7:39
be an equal to Leah in my eyes. My
7:42
questions about what she thought the
7:43
baby would be like worried her. What if
7:46
the baby was disabled or didn't like our
7:48
family activities? or if the baby and
7:51
Leah didn't like each other. She even
7:54
admitted wishing I had never had Leah
7:57
just so she wouldn't have to worry so
7:58
much. That's when she knew she had to
8:01
redouble her efforts to maintain a
8:03
relationship with Leah. She feared that
8:05
between work and Leah, I wouldn't have
8:07
time to bond with our new baby. She'd
8:09
read articles about fathers not bonding
8:11
with children until they could do things
8:13
with the family, a concern that weighed
8:16
heavily. When I did try to bond with the
8:18
baby, she worried our child wouldn't
8:20
live up to Leah. I've always been open
8:23
about how much being a father means to
8:24
me, how raising Leah has been a
8:26
highlight of my life, along with
8:28
marrying my wife, and now having our
8:31
child.
8:32
She said this was initially why she was
8:34
confident marrying me, excited to have a
8:37
big family.
8:39
But now she constantly wondered if her
8:41
pregnancy and this baby would be a
8:42
highlight or a burden because the stress
8:45
is the same. but the newness isn't. She
8:49
worried a newborn or toddler wouldn't be
8:51
as interesting as Leah, who was already
8:53
active. She showed me countless articles
8:56
and videos where people talked about
8:57
being more relaxed with subsequent
9:00
children, implying they stopped caring
9:02
as much. This freaked her out. She felt
9:05
she was ruining our family and coming
9:08
between me and Leah. For example, at the
9:11
zoo, she cried on the way to the
9:13
hospital because she was afraid Leah
9:15
would hate her and resent the baby for
9:17
cutting our zoo time short and that I
9:19
would be upset about spending my time
9:21
off at the hospital instead of with
9:23
Leah.
9:24
While I work, my wife and Leah spend a
9:26
lot of time together, biking being a
9:28
favorite activity.
9:30
Due to her pregnancy, my wife couldn't
9:32
bike. She said Leah had told her, "I
9:36
hate you because I don't get to go on my
9:37
new bike as often anymore.
9:40
I promised to discuss it with Leah, but
9:42
she asked me not to given all the
9:44
upcoming changes for Leah and because
9:46
she missed biking with Leah, too. A
9:48
couple of months ago, my wife chose her
9:51
favorite childhood story for me to read
9:53
to the baby and Leah to promote bonding.
9:56
The next day, while I was at work, Leah
9:59
ripped the pages out. My wife wanted to
10:01
tell me, but her friend, the soulmate
10:04
one, said I'd think she was making it
10:06
up, that it would seem like she was
10:08
trying to come between me and Leah.
10:11
I asked her why she hadn't told me any
10:13
of this. She explained her thoughts
10:15
didn't even make sense to her. She
10:17
wanted me to spend time with Leah so she
10:19
didn't feel left out, but when I did,
10:22
she felt upset I wasn't spending more
10:24
time with her. She loves Leah, but
10:27
wishes we had our first child together.
10:29
She wants me around, but feels guilty
10:32
when I give her and our baby attention.
10:35
She feared I would think she was trying
10:36
to come between me and Leah, even though
10:39
she wasn't.
10:41
By the time I realized something was
10:43
truly wrong, she had already doubled
10:45
down. Finding it hard to admit she'd
10:48
made her fears a reality by pushing me
10:50
away. At this point, I realized how
10:52
utterly terrible I had been.
10:55
I apologized profusely for making her
10:58
feel like she couldn't come to me. She
11:01
said her research into her feelings led
11:03
her to forums where people were called
11:05
evil for similar thoughts about
11:07
stepchildren and she feared I would feel
11:09
the same. If I had felt about Leah the
11:12
way she felt about Leah, she reasoned it
11:15
would make her angry and upset so she
11:17
couldn't see how I wouldn't feel the
11:18
same.
11:20
We both cried for a long time. I
11:22
reassured her, telling her how much I
11:24
loved her, how excited I was that she
11:26
was the family of my choosing, my
11:28
soulmate.
11:30
I told her the universe knew Leah and I
11:32
needed her, which is why circumstances
11:34
allowed us to be a family.
11:36
She apologized for her treatment,
11:38
wanting to make it right. She admitted
11:41
she had wanted to apologize during my
11:43
meltdown, but was so shocked by my
11:45
reaction that she thought she'd messed
11:47
up beyond repair. We continued to cry
11:50
and then she asked if I wanted to feel
11:52
the baby. Of course, I said yes. We
11:56
cried even more, but this time with
11:58
tears of relief and joy. It was a truly
12:02
beautiful evening. I knew things were
12:03
turning around when she woke me up the
12:05
next Saturday by whispering, "Baby wants
12:08
blueberry pancakes."
12:10
I've never prepared pancakes so fast, a
12:12
wide grin plastered on my face. A few
12:15
days later, at a pool party, she let me
12:18
choose her swimsuit. A huge deal for
12:20
someone who had only worn baggy clothes
12:22
around me. We took family pictures, and
12:25
the universe seemed to be on our side.
12:28
On the way home, she asked me to feel
12:30
her belly, and our baby was hiccuping, a
12:33
first we could share. She even let me
12:36
help her when she was sick without
12:38
making an excuse about Leah. I've
12:40
learned that when she puts her back to
12:42
me and lifts her arm, it's my cue to
12:44
lift her belly. I now spend countless
12:47
hours rubbing and talking to her belly,
12:49
massaging her feet, legs, back,
12:51
shoulders, and hips. She's sore
12:53
everywhere. The first 500 times, it made
12:56
me cry tears of pure relief to be
12:58
involved. I never thought being tasked
13:01
with acquiring random food items at 2:00
13:03
a.m. would be a great time, but it is.
13:06
It still stings that I missed out on so
13:08
much and I know it hurts her too. She
13:10
gets emotional saying a weight has been
13:13
lifted and things are so much easier.
13:16
Upset she didn't talk to me sooner. I've
13:19
been working to alleviate her guilt,
13:21
finding simple solutions.
13:23
I bought a pullbehind bike trailer so
13:25
she can still join Leah and me on rides
13:27
using a small fan and ice packs. I've
13:31
taken time off work to spend more time
13:32
with both of them.
13:34
We are all in therapy and thankfully
13:37
Leah's therapist confirms she's securely
13:39
attached to both of us, coping well and
13:42
excited to be a big sister. Her past
13:45
behavior was due to another now resolved
13:47
situation.
13:49
My wife was terrified Leah could sense
13:51
her attitude shift, but Leah's only
13:53
complaint about her mom is that she
13:55
forgot her candy once and it took 32
13:58
whole minutes for the store to deliver
14:00
it. My wife continues therapy to
14:02
overcome her negative feelings. We're
14:04
getting very close to baby time, working
14:07
hard on preparations.
14:09
My wife still needs reassurance, and she
14:11
often brings up my ex. I found that
14:14
bringing up our firsts helps. When she
14:16
asks about things and how they were for
14:18
me, I steer the conversation to us. Our
14:22
first house, our first vacation, our
14:24
first kiss, our first date.
14:27
I remind her of moments that made me
14:29
fall more in love with her. I also bring
14:32
up special memories involving her and
14:33
Leah, like, "Do you remember when you
14:36
and Leah made me so and so? That's still
14:38
one of my prized possessions. It upsets
14:41
me that my wife suffered for so long." I
14:44
truly believe that saying her feelings
14:46
out loud took a lot of power away from
14:48
them. I think most people know how
14:50
terrible it feels to have thoughts that
14:52
don't feel like your own during a
14:54
mentally taxing time. I should have
14:56
stood up for our relationship and her
14:57
mental health much sooner.
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