How to evaluate social norms as an independent thinker

Why do cultures develop social norms

The clearest answer to me is that they're shortcuts. They provide you with a general guidebook of how to behave in society

at least for the place and time that you're in, and that can ideally help you live a better life

Social norms that are enforced by our communities or by broader groups

also come with enforcement mechanisms that are often more effective than our own knowledge

The positive motivations that we feel when we engage in social norms

a sense of pride, accomplishment being looked upon happily by other people, are powerful

And then the negative reinforcements, a sense of guilt when we transgress social norms

help keep us in line. But we're in a moment right now where society is changing rapidly

and where many of us are not sure whether old social norms still apply

How do you evaluate whether a social norm is past its sell-by-date

whether it's still useful in the modern era? The English writer G.K. Chesterton talks about what one should do if you encounter a fence

unattended in a field. Some people might have the impulse to just tear it down

After all, what is it doing there standing alone in this field? But he actually suggests that one should investigate

The fence may not seem useful to you in this moment, but it was probably put there for a reason

and one should try and figure out what that reason was before discarding the fence entirely

I think that notion can be applied to social norms, too, even ones that seem outdated

So here's one example. Should men open doors for women? When you trying to figure out whether a norm has any use still It helpful to look at what it was there for originally Was it there to help someone to protect to orient society in a useful way Is that

use case still in some way valid now? If so, maybe that norm is still doing something good

even if it isn't evident immediately to you. With the dissolving of social norms, some people

are looking for guidance. So who do people look to for guidance in the past? They look to their

parents, their families. They look to religious leaders and sometimes state leaders. Who do

people look to for guidance now? Well, let's say the slate has grown. It kind of feels like

there's a coach for anything, whether it's meditation or parenting or how to become the best CEO

There are lifestyle influencers, fitness influencers, there are beauty gurus and masculinity gurus

So what's problematic about seeking the guidance of a self-described expert? The problem is in the self-described. They may say they're expert, but are they really

What qualifications do they have and why should you believe them? And then again, there's the question of what social norms are for and how they're built

ideally social norms are adapted to situations, times, and places, and the communities that they're embedded in

A social norm that may be fit for one community or one kind of person may not be applicable to everyone else

Similarly, the advice given by a fitness guru or a beauty influencer might sell well on the internet, but might not actually be tailored helpfully to you

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