0:00
I'm in love with the trans man
0:01
I didn't start dating guys until about five years into my transition
0:07
I've heard that like I'm the devil, I'm spitting image of him
0:12
People can have a different belief system than you. And that's just how it is
0:16
And you just gotta accept it. Somebody said, why not just stay a female and date a male
0:24
What do you say to that? I'm LaDamian. I'm Trent. And we're married
0:30
and happily in love. I'm in love with a trans man. I had never dated a trans man before Trent
0:37
So he's the first trans man I've ever been with. When we met, I had not fully transitioned
0:42
I was about halfway in the middle. I had my name changed. Mostly he had dated females
0:47
So, this was like totally new for him, it was totally new for me
0:51
People can't understand why I transitioned to be a man, to marry a man
0:55
So, we actually met on Tinder. He swiped right on me. I don't think he read my bio for real
1:01
I had read his profile so I knew that he was trans
1:05
but I didn't even know what that would look like for me
1:10
I'm glad though. I'm glad I downloaded Tinder because I wasn't going to download it, I don't understand
1:14
I got my birth certificate changed with you, my social changed, I got my top surgery changed with you
1:19
Or changed, I got my top surgery with you. So yeah, it's a lot of monuments, I guess
1:23
I threw him a little surprise dinner and got a cake made with his birth certificate on it
1:28
because they changed his gender and his name on there. Damien backs me up on pretty much anything
1:33
when it comes to my life, my transition. We've been married for a year now, and we've been together going on four
1:39
So I didn't start dating guys until about five years into my transition
1:45
That's when I kind of started dealing with guys and going from there, but yeah, it was all female
1:51
We balance each other out, so there is no person who wears the pants over the other
1:55
In certain things he more masculine and in certain areas I more masculine So we definitely had some speed bumps when it comes to me being a trans man and him being a cis man because more so interpretation like you said in a sense of I might take something because I wired off emotion a certain way
2:13
and he's wired off logic. When you're gay and like in our community, it's just kind of hard to like find somebody who's actually willing and ready to do the work
2:23
Even if you don't know what it takes, you're willing to try to learn what it takes to be in a healthy relationship
2:29
At the beginning of my transition, when it came to my friends, there was 100% support
2:34
When it came to my family in regards to the transition, I can say my parents were a little bit not keen to it
2:42
You know, we didn't speak for a while on that. I feel like once I started posting like heavy on my TikTok, then more of the negative comments started to come in
2:50
When we came out as dating, I would get ridiculed from outsiders, insiders
2:56
However, I feel like it wasn't until we actually got married and I started posting more that they actually came out the woodworks with everything
3:04
Definitely, we get a lot of backlash in our own community as well as outsiders
3:10
Of course, outsiders, they don't get it in general. For one, I'm trans and then we're gay
3:14
You would think it's rocket science to them. The reaction is definitely 100% way worse online
3:19
Someone said, I guess he attracted to the feminine side of him
3:24
Wait, who's on top? And someone said, this made my stomach hurt
3:28
Somebody said, why not just stay a female and date a male
3:34
What do you say to that? People are dumb. He'll ignore it
3:39
I won't. I'm petty. So I fight back. He's just kind of like ignoring it
3:44
Like, whatever. It doesn't bother him. He's used to that. I'm not. When I was younger and I first started transitioning
3:51
I couldn't find people who looked like me within the community. Yes, there were lots of white, trans-presenting people
3:57
but even how I heal I gonna heal differently than a white person So I didn have that much representation of people who look like me Once I actually posted my top surgery results and everything
4:10
it's like, because I cried in the video as well. So people are like, oh, you're still a woman
4:15
You're just crying. I'm looked at as I'm mutilating my body. My scars is going to scare kids
4:21
And I've heard that like I'm the devil. Like I'm spitting image of him
4:26
Somebody said scary. It'd be a lot of just emoji comments as well
4:30
and they'd just be like the sad face emoji or the disgusted emojis
4:34
To be honest, half the comments the grammar's off, so I can't even get past the first sentence
4:39
We can't even understand what you're saying, what? It definitely was a relief when I started transitioning
4:44
I was 18 when I just started my transition and it felt like I was a trans man
4:49
Honestly, I don't know how old I was in this picture, but no, look, this picture is my favorite picture
4:53
I had a little question mark ponytail. I used to have to fake these braids
4:59
My family used to make me get braids to be a little bit more feminine presenting
5:03
When I was about 18, the person I was dating at the time, they knew some trans people and
5:09
things and we kind of started hanging. I'm like, I started asking them about their lifestyle. Once I started doing research and everything and I was like, oh yeah, I didn't know there
5:16
was a word for what I've been feeling. And that's how I actually got started and just been there ever since
5:22
I've been happy as hell. I can't lie. I'm trying to sag and be some thug
5:28
With some girl clothes on looking like this. You can definitely tell I'm way more
5:34
I mean, I was definitely comfortable in this picture. My transition journey is complete
5:38
I don't want for bottom surgery at the moment. However, I got my top surgery
5:43
My name is changed. Pretty much everything aligns with Trent. So I don't really have anything else besides continuing my testosterone
5:51
And that's pretty much it. We are getting ready for church. We're about to get dressed
5:58
Usually I have him iron my clothes because I hate ironing but We all good today Let him go wrinkle today We got all our fine jewelry and stuff here Louisiana is in the South so it is pretty much a Bible community
6:15
Louisiana really hasn't progressed a whole lot, probably especially being in the LGBTQ community
6:25
We don't go to church every Sunday, but whenever we're together, we try to make sure we go
6:30
At the beginning of our relationship, I was a little standoffish when it came to religion
6:35
But I told him that he was always there for me and still would educate me on things
6:39
We pray. We go to church. We try to, like you said, do better and live right how we should
6:45
Even though some people may try to stray us away or tell us
6:49
We're not living the right way is the way the people think
6:53
People can have a different belief system than you. And that's just how it is
6:57
And you just got to accept it. You know, it is what it is, but not everybody is going to practice the same religion
7:04
and not everybody is going to abide by, you know, the next person's belief
7:11
I'm the type of person that I am. I'm going to let you be who you are and who you want to be
7:17
I would always make him feel comfortable in his body because I love his body
7:23
I'm going to always support him, and so if he wants to make a change, then I'm going to be with him on the journey to make the changes he wants to make
7:29
I love how he treats me. That's, like, I've never been with a person that has done and that treats me like he treats me
7:40
So, what I want to say to anybody who has a problem with something that's a little different than what you're used to
7:47
you probably should be worried about yourself. Nothing's wrong with me loving my husband
7:52
If I didn't have him in my life, I genuinely don't know where I would be. I love you, honey
