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SHAYE says from the very start she was infatuated with Grxdience when they met at work in 2019. They both say it was love at first sight and after 3 dates they made it official - they now own their first home and are inseparable. The couple are judged because of Grxdience's bisexuality and his love for dressing slightly more on the fem side. He has lost count of the amount of piercings he has and has always experimented with his appearance. He proudly paints his nails, wears eyeliner and dyes his hair. He is used to people judging his appearance however, when the couple launched their relationship they faced judgement instantly, Grxdience's followers said they assumed he was gay and his fans trolled Shaye saying she was too fat to be with him and she wasn't good enough for him. Grxdience says he has a romantic attraction to women only but, he is sexually attracted to men and women. Haters online assume that the pair are in a 'lavender marriage' and that Shaye is just a cover up for Grxdience's sexuality. The couple have come on Love Don't Judge to demonstrate that love is love, no matter how someone chooses to dress.
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0:00
My husband is sexually attracted to men, but isn't gay
0:02
I get a lot of, quote, lavender marriage. They're married, so they can pretend to be straight
0:06
My mom had texted me, and she was like, you need to dump him. Are you going to do regular or graphic
0:12
I'm probably going to do graphic, but it depends on how quickly I can do it. My name is Gradient
0:17
And my name is Shay. My husband is sexually attracted to men, but isn't gay
0:20
People judge me for being married to a woman just because I dress a little bit feminine sometimes
0:24
We first met back when I was 17. He was 18. We ended up working at the same job
0:30
I thought it was love at first sight for sure. For some reason, I just kept looking over and seeing her. Yeah, I definitely, when our manager walked him over to me
0:36
I was like, yeah, this is it. We've been together since 2019
0:40
When I first met Gradience, I thought he was definitely one of the most interesting people that I've seen
0:45
My town doesn't really have many alternative people. So he was very exciting in everything
0:52
But yeah, he was great. I would say my personal style is very alternative. I wear a lot of dark makeup
0:56
while she wears a lot of light makeup. I love wearing makeup, but people often assume that I'm gay because of it
1:01
You're not going to mention the giant colored mohawk that you had in all of high school? Yeah, I did have a giant colored mohawk
1:06
All of high school, all of middle school, all of elementary school. I think I was expressing my true self
1:10
I believed that I was being truthful at the time, and I think I'm being just as truthful now. When I'm asked about my sexuality, I say that I identify as bisexual
1:16
It's plain and simple. I always knew that I had the same attraction towards men and women. I'm more romantically attracted to women
1:21
I lean towards women romantically, but I have been romantically attracted to men before
1:26
So what do you want to wear today? Up to you. We share jewelry pretty often
1:32
I think except for earrings, we have slightly different tastes. I'm definitely a crystal girl, and he is definitely more..
1:38
Spikes and studs. All right. So we got a bunch of different styles, a bunch of different hoops, a bunch of different colors
1:44
But I usually end up going for spikes and studs because they're usually pretty easy to go in
1:50
Cool. I would say doing our nails is a fantastic bonding opportunity. I mean, there's not really much to do except for sit here, so it's a lot of conversations that we're having
1:56
I didn't really do too much of it in public until I was closer to high school though
2:01
By the time I was out of high school, I was doing everything. So that's just how the cookie crumbled
2:05
My family, when they first met him, was definitely surprised and everything by how he dressed They were not used to it at all We a very typical Italian family so I feel like we all kind of dressed the same looked the same and everything
2:19
So he was definitely a big shock for them. The nails were something they definitely were like
2:23
oh, is he trying to hide something? So this photo is me and Gray going to a Halloween thing at my
2:34
school. It was my mom taking us and, you know, she wanted to meet this guy that I was so
2:38
in love with and he decided to show off his eyeliner skills by drawing tattoos all over his
2:43
face including a 23 on his forehead and my mom had texted me and she was like you need to dump him
2:50
and i was like what are you talking about and she was like shale i will not have my grandbabies
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coming out with numbers one two and three on their head and i was like i do not know what
3:00
you're talking about mom i have what are you talking about and she sent me this photo
3:04
She thought the tattoos were real. She was so stressed out. So what were you looking for
3:11
I was hoping for some pictures for the Instagram. Let me know what you think
3:22
A lot, a lot. People are going to say that AI is a little bit too pretty. I'm liking this one the most with your hand out like that
3:28
I like the perspective of it all, I suppose. I like your facial features too
3:32
What are you going to caption it? People love it, they eat it up. We've gotten DMs and stuff, both him and I
3:37
where they've been like, it's so great to see my relationship, the same dynamic and stuff, thank you so much
3:43
I definitely get a little mouthy with comments. Not as often I've gotten better
3:48
A lot of people didn't understand. It was a lot of confusion, which people who are confused
3:52
are often people who are judgmental, who are the loudest. The confused people are the loudest oftentimes as well
3:57
But at the same time, I can't really help with people's confusion on my own relationship, they're not in it
4:01
and I don't want them to be. Does he have fake nails? I don't have fake nails
4:05
I was just hoping she was gonna be cute. Okay, well you were hoping correctly
4:09
She is cute, what the heck? Can somebody please explain his nails, why
4:13
Why does anybody have to explain my nails? Negative comments. Of course negative, they don't ever make anybody feel good
4:20
That's for sure. But we do our best to just let it roll off her back as much as possible Well in person we get a lot of assumptions that we aren a couple which is really frustrating we have been married i think eight months we got married september 2024 so our wedding was one of
4:36
my favorite things ever i sure hope so i personally get a lot of quote lavender marriage in my comment
4:42
section online i'm not sure if you're familiar with the term lavender marriage they're referring
4:46
to someone who uh is in a marriage but only to pretend that they're not gay but that's what
4:51
people are trying to say that they're married so they can pretend to be straight that's not the case it's just not this is my bridal shower another thing that he came to but everybody was also
4:59
surprised and i was like i don't know why all the way i was there for every step of the way yeah every step of the way for the women but always a cute fun time just feel like how can you look at
5:08
us and be like no yeah how could you look at these pictures and say no they're not together
5:12
it's not possible yeah on vacations we've got in hotel rooms and i feel like people assume we need
5:17
Two rooms, I feel like. We're two beds in one apartment or one room
5:21
It's kind of like a 50-50 on whether or not people think that we're a couple or not. Today, my friend Madison is coming over
5:26
She's one of my closest friends. She's had some similar situations and some relationships that she's had
5:31
So I know that she really understands our judgment. Hi, how are you
5:35
I met Shay first. We started working together about two years ago
5:39
Gray also works with us and we became fast friends very quickly. They handle themselves very well
5:44
They don't let the outside negativity get to them. So I definitely would like to talk to them about how they are able to handle that and stay so strong despite everything
5:52
So I saw your guys' video, my For You page. The hate comments
5:58
Yeah. I try not to read them because as your friend, I get really upset when I see it
6:02
But I feel like you guys always handle yourself really well. You're both really strong
6:06
But how do you deal with that? I feel like, I don't know. It's been a little bit rough
6:10
But like, I feel like we got on the wrong side all of a sudden and it's been a little bit more heavy
6:15
Like I had to turn comments off on a video. Do you think it still gets to you guys
6:21
The first few comments, obviously it's a little bit surprising and like, what the heck are you talking about
6:25
Yeah, I can imagine. I feel like he has a totally different experience than me. I feel like with like all the wedding stuff, like it was such a good day and everything for me
6:33
And then like all the negativity on that about it like being fake and stuff
6:36
Like this is the happiest time of my life Like I finally married and you guys are like calling it fake and stuff Literally I mean you guys are like the best of friends You guys support each other I just don I don understand it So when we met you guys were already together What Like three
6:52
four years. What was the reaction like from your family or other friends
6:58
My friends were very, very used to me dating people who were entirely different from Shay
7:03
even though she's more traditional. I used to have more of a grungy taste in people, but obviously things have changed
7:08
I mean, I found the perfect one for me, so that's how that goes. My friends didn't exactly like Shay at the time
7:12
but that is what it is. It's not their life. It's not their relationship. Definitely, we were not our normal types
7:18
It was definitely a surprise for everybody. Some discomfort with his family and everything
7:23
So I feel like you've been there through the more serious part, especially being engaged and stuff
7:27
I feel like they were taking it more seriously and expressing their opinions more than just like
7:32
oh wait, this isn't just like a crush. So I know we've kind of talked about like your similar experience
7:39
I know we haven't like gone too far into like your past stuff. Like, what do you think about that relationship that was similar to ours and everything
7:47
I used to be in a relationship similar to Gray and Shay
7:51
I feel that people are very quick to judge someone in their relationship based on what they see on the outside
7:57
Based on, let's say, their appearance, how they present themselves, their style, the things that they're into
8:03
So, what do you think it is about our relationship that makes us work
8:06
Well, obviously getting to know you guys and spending a lot of time with you guys
8:10
I just feel it's very evident how much you love each other
8:14
you bring out the best in each other. I love everything about Shay
8:18
I love how he makes me laugh. He always is a jokester
8:22
He is able to bring me down and calm me down in a way that I don't think anybody else has
8:26
I love how caring Shay is. She's always on top of things for me. If I'm ever falling back, she's picking me up and vice versa
8:32
so we're able to have each other's backs. For people who judge our relationship, I would definitely say move on
8:36
There's no reason to be sitting here looking at us. Put some more energy into your own life, and then you might not be sitting here
8:42
talking trash about strangers
#Discrimination & Identity Relations
#Human Rights & Liberties
#Romance