0:03
We're clever! People ask my wife if a child was mine. You are not the father
0:11
Wow, you have two babies to look after. I think it just comes from that ableist mindset
0:15
that disability is such a dirty word. How about this? How about this
0:22
We're really excited to have my sister over. You're the first person we've officially shared our intention with
0:30
you ready for breakfast it's hot hot hot so you have to blow it okay daddy's gonna help you my name is winston and
0:43
my name is bay fair we have a three-year-old daughter called malika who's this
0:47
but i think it was really his personality and when i really saw
0:59
who he was as a person when I started to feel attracted to him. Last time we filmed, we were based in London, which is our hometown
1:06
Yeah. But we've since made the big move with our family to start a new adventure in the US
1:11
I think the last time we filmed, I was pregnant with Malaika, so she's here now
1:17
You have to eat your breakfast so that you can be big and... Show me strong
1:24
Got any muscles there? So Malika is super bubbly. She's just got the brightest personality
1:31
She's super funny, knows what she wants. How would you guys describe your parenting style
1:37
My wife kind of takes the lead with the nurturing and I'm the one who kind of pushes her to be more independent
1:44
and just try different things out for herself. Yeah, but you're a really hands-on dad too
1:51
Yeah, come, let's get it. I think it's over here. Where's the necklace? What are some misconceptions people have had about you both being parents
1:59
I think the main misconception is that somehow we're not going to be able to provide the same quality of life for our children as a couple where both parents are able-bodied
2:11
But that obviously not true Malaika has so much She such a happy girl How about about this I want this I want this
2:26
What condition do you have? Yeah, so the condition that I have is known as osteogenesis imperfecta
2:33
And it just means that my bones are more fragile than the average person. And you can think of it as having bones that are made of glass
2:40
And of course, I'm a lot smaller than the average person. and I use a wheelchair, but to me, I see that as an opportunity to stand out in every room that I roll into
2:49
I guess I just have to be a bit more thoughtful and creative in how I approach parenting
2:55
Does Malaika have the same feeling? So Malaika was diagnosed with brittle bones when she was born
3:02
So far, she's even been able to do stuff which me as an adult, I've never been able to do
3:07
So she's doing amazing. And how did you both feel when you found this out
3:11
I guess like any parent, when you hear about a potential diagnosis, there are some different emotions that you feel
3:17
But we're people of faith. We prayed a lot over the situation. Even when she was born, to us that just felt like such a miracle
3:27
I think that's the cool thing now is like compared to maybe when you were growing up
3:31
there's so many more different things that are available to kind of allow her to thrive
3:36
Physical therapy and then also medication. Good job
3:46
Good job. Again, bubbles. Bubbles. Should we bake something yummy? Yeah. With chocolate in it? Yeah. Ready
3:56
Okay, that's perfect. Can you give Daddy a big high five? Yeah
4:00
Good job. I can taste one. Okay, you can taste one. Is it yummy
4:08
Aww you're gonna eat all the chocolate before we've baked. Alright one more for daddy
4:16
Thank you. How has your content changed since you have had malignia
4:21
Our content has evolved. Oh, I don't get any. Being able to showcase not just a couple where one has a disability
4:30
but being a whole family unit where at least one member has a disability
4:35
The kind of responses that we had to our content are primarily honestly 95 of it has been fantastic we get messages every day that really move us but there is that small minority of
4:51
comments that are negative that are full of stereotypes and that are just mean we try not
4:57
to do this too much but occasionally we do kind of scroll through comments one of the ones we have
5:02
here says you are not the father which is a huge thing that we used to get basically starting from
5:07
when we announced that we were pregnant we used to get that comment a lot and again this comes from
5:12
people just not having an awareness that disabled people can have children another comment we have
5:17
here is the audacity of this lady is on another level IVF successful I think people kind of try
5:23
to use that as an attack but actually we don't see anything wrong with IVF I think it's amazing
5:29
I've got one here which I think is hilarious. You're cheating, for sure
5:35
Some of them, they just make us laugh. Yeah, and we've gotten that a lot. Like, people basically assuming that I have to go somewhere else to get my needs met
5:43
It's just not the case. That's not our story, eh, man? So there's one here that says
5:49
you literally went out of your way to make someone have the same disability as you
5:54
Which, in what word does that make sense? I think it just comes from that ableist mindset that disability is such a heinous, like, bad thing
6:04
It's such a dirty word. Wow, you have two babies to look after
6:08
That's not true. Winston helps me massively in terms of parenting. Before we got married, Winston was living alone
6:15
He doesn't like to cook, but he was surviving somehow. Like most husbands
6:20
He doesn't like cooking, but yeah, he was very independent. There were moments when we were overwhelmed
6:24
I've had moments where it's like, wait, why are we doing this for people to kind of just respond negatively
6:30
But I think what kind of brings us back is why we're doing this
6:34
You feel by providing that representation that you don't normally see for people with disabilities or for couples who look like us, families that look like ours
6:43
Our bigger mission is to normalise interrobed relationships. We're all just people trying to do the best that we can
6:50
And our family have been really supportive even since we started our YouTube channel So we actually have my twin sister Mayfield coming over which we super excited for so hopefully she gonna get to taste one of these treats but Malaika loves to eat as she bakes
7:06
as you guys could see but yeah we're really excited to have my sister over because we have
7:11
some big news to tell her it's auntie being an auntie to Milanka is literally the best thing ever I'm
7:21
completely obsessed. How do you feel about the judgment Mayfair and Winston have received as parents
7:27
It's tough for me because I'm like, I want to square up
7:32
But at the same time, like I know the love that they have
7:36
They are just so full of peace that for me, I'm like, I should also try and kind of
7:40
have that same thinking. You want to square up too sometimes, to be honest
7:44
Then it's tough emotionally when they talk like, it can be a lot
7:49
but the majority of them are positive and people saying they're going to share our videos or
7:55
something that we posted and maybe help them see a future for themselves which they couldn't before
8:01
yeah it just feels like we're making a difference okay so you know obviously you've been an amazing
8:08
aunt to malaika and well we think he'd be a great auntie a second time around and we've actually
8:17
been thinking about growing our family and having another child so yeah you're the first person we've
8:25
officially shared our intention with so i'm a lady would you like a brother or a sister
8:36
i want a sister yeah i think in terms of what we hope the future holds for our family
8:45
is normalising inter-implied relationships, seeing Malaika grow as well into all that we hope
8:51
she can be. We're obviously growing our family as well and hopefully raising kids
8:55
who make in the world a more inclusive place. We're just made for each other
8:59
We're just the perfect pieces of the jigsaw that makes up our family
