0:00
and and what we didn't learn in that
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Workshop but for the sake of our
0:02
listeners today I'm going to just give
0:04
you a little bit of a schematic on on
0:06
actually an appropriate healthy way to
0:07
communicate a need assertively and they
0:10
have to have a few components so one of
0:12
the components is we have to reflect
0:14
what it is that we see happening so for
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example when you put your cup on the
0:17
table you know and I've asked you not to
0:20
the story I make up is that you don't
0:22
care about me or my needs and about that
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I feel you know disappointed hurt and
0:29
frustrated and what I want is for you to
0:31
show me that you care by not leaving the
0:33
cup on the table so even though it
0:35
sounds a little robotic and it sounds
0:37
headyy it's important to learn how to do
0:39
that because we have to take
0:42
responsibility for our emotional
0:44
experience we have to say explicitly
0:46
what it is that we're seeing or needing
0:48
to communicate and then we have to make
0:50
sure we talk about what we need coming
0:52
going forward because otherwise it
0:54
creates in our listener so many things
0:56
that are maladaptive or unhealthy
