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Why People Stay Stuck and The Region Beta Paradox
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May 5, 2025
Welcome to Adaptable | Behavior Explained! This episode goes over why people stay stuck, featuring the Region Beta Paradox with Patrick O’Horo. We explore how sometimes being “just okay” can actually prevent growth and change. The Region Beta Paradox explains why mild discomfort can keep us in place longer than intense pain—and how recognizing this can motivate real transformation. I'm Kelly O'Horo, Attachment based EMDR Therapist, EMDRIA Consultant, and Advanced Trainer. I'm a mom of 5, Nonna of 5, wife, and a healer. I have the honor of spending my workdays walking along side people while they brave their healing journeys. I try to live with the generous assumption that we're all doing the best we can with what we know. Therapists are teachers for the "life stuff" and "emotional vocabulary" that may not have been learned due to gaps in our care givers capabilities. In the last 15 years I've learned that people are freaking amazing, resilient, and inspiring. Most importantly, we are hardwired for connection and for healing! I hope to bring an authentic, compassionate, and unpolished approach while we explore a variety of topics such as parenting, marriage, relationships, dating, trauma, attachment, adoption, depression, addiction, anxiety, and love! There's a why for all behaviors and an explanation that makes perfect sense as emotion is at the root of it all. -- Links -- https://linktr.ee/kellyohorolpc https://youtu.be/rLnARKekvgo https://www.emdria.org/find-an-emdr-therapist/
View Video Transcript
0:06
hi everyone I'm Kelly O'Horo and this is
0:09
Adaptable Behavior Explained Hi there
0:12
Thank you so much for joining us on
0:13
Adaptable today I'm Kelly O'Horo your
0:15
host and I'm a licensed professional
0:17
counselor I'm especially excited to have
0:20
with us here today my guest Patrick
0:22
O'Horo He is a licensed associate
0:24
counselor and a trauma specialist as
0:27
well as my husband and my personal hero
0:30
So Patrick thank you so much for being
0:31
here today It's always a pleasure We are
0:34
going to discuss a topic that is very
0:36
near and dear to my husband's heart It
0:38
is from an article called the peculiar
0:41
longevity of things not so bad And the
0:44
purpose of our conversation today is to
0:46
help you understand why you might get
0:48
stuck in certain patterns or areas of
0:50
your life and a little bit about the
0:52
reason that happens And so Patrick go
0:55
ahead and introduce yourself to me today
0:57
or to our guests and talk a little bit
0:59
about what we're going to discuss Sure
1:02
Well thanks for having me I've been in
1:04
the technology space for a long long
1:07
time Counseling is not my primary job
1:10
It's a side gig and I'm always thinking
1:13
of things from a systems perspective And
1:16
as I went through my own interpersonal
1:18
work and then decided I wanted to be a
1:20
counselor a lot of my learnings had to
1:24
do with humans and society as a system
1:28
that same kind of lens And sometime in
1:30
grad school I came across this paper
1:33
that defined something called the region
1:35
beta paradox This peculiar longevity of
1:37
things not so bad It was written by
1:38
Gilbert Adall like 20 years ago And it's
1:42
a pretty short paper but what what I
1:44
interpreted is our resistance to change
1:47
And I love it because for me every time
1:49
I look at a problem or a person I almost
1:52
see them like a clock I'm trying to
1:54
figure out the gears and the springs
1:56
inside that make them do what they do
1:59
And that was really illuminating to me
2:02
And it's kind of like the Matrix code
2:04
for me Once you see it you can't unsee
2:06
it And so now I just see it kind of
2:08
everywhere and I know I get some grief
2:11
from you because I'll be like region
2:13
beta paradox region beta paradox right
2:15
everywhere we go there's like moments
2:17
where you see something and I have
2:19
teased you a little bit because I I
2:20
realize that you see it everywhere but
2:23
explain to our viewers what this premise
2:25
is about So the premise is that there's
2:27
a misnomer around how we think things
2:31
will affect us and how they actually
2:33
affect us in the long term and in the
2:35
short term And so the premise of the
2:38
paper is that if you were to ask
2:40
somebody hey something really really bad
2:43
would you know somebody would treat you
2:44
really bad what would your response be
2:47
will answer that and we'll predict that
2:50
the effects would be bad and they would
2:52
last a long time and it should really be
2:55
avoided right Like you if you offended
2:57
me it's going to affect me for a long
2:59
time but if you only offend me a little
3:01
bit these small transgressions we tend
3:03
to get over And I almost think of it now
3:06
as uh death by a thousand cuts I think
3:09
what resonated with the paper so much is
3:11
just that the title the peculiar
3:13
longevity of things not so bad right And
3:15
so now I see in all throughout our life
3:18
this region beta paradoxes they plotted
3:20
out through assessments of people and
3:22
how they react to what they would
3:24
consider a transgression against really
3:26
proves that what you know we think bad
3:28
things are to be avoided and what the
3:31
science shows us is that bad things
3:34
stimulate action Yeah We can't grow
3:36
without discomfort And a lot of times we
3:39
internally strive to remain comfortable
3:41
right And so that internal psychological
3:44
thinking or paradigm is that if it's not
3:47
so bad I'll just kind of let it go I'll
3:49
let it alone And then I have these
3:50
moments over and over and over again
3:52
that something bothers me or is annoying
3:54
or frustrating But the idea of the
3:57
distress that would be required to
3:58
change it feels too overwhelming so I
4:00
just avoid it Yeah The example one of
4:02
the examples they use in the paper as
4:05
they plot it out if you just think
4:07
simply and not with problems is that if
4:09
if I decide everything within a mile I'm
4:12
just going to walk to because it's not
4:13
worth the trouble of getting out my bike
4:15
and you know cuffing my pants and do
4:17
doing all this stuff but then everything
4:19
beyond a mile I'll ride a bike Because
4:21
I've have this threshold for discomfort
4:23
or action I'm actually limiting how fast
4:27
I can get to everywhere within a mile
4:28
right And really kind of pushing up
4:30
against that boundary So when we apply
4:32
it to other things in our life whether
4:34
it's our our interpersonal you know uh
4:36
our coping mechanisms that we have and
4:39
these defense responses like cognitive
4:41
dissonance right How am I making a
4:43
decision about action And a lot of times
4:46
it's super unconscious So we can think
4:48
about you know cohabitating being in a
4:51
being in a bad relationship that's just
4:53
not too bad right or being in a job that
4:56
isn't a job where I'm thriving and that
4:58
I'm really you know fulfilled and have a
5:00
lot of purpose but it's just not too bad
5:03
Pays the bills You don't mind going Your
5:05
boss is all right Your co-workers are
5:07
okay And the stuff that you do every day
5:09
doesn't suck that bad And and a lot of
5:11
times you know I have we have this this
5:13
shared friend and we'll go do these
5:15
amazing experiences and and you look at
5:17
him and you're like "Hey what did you
5:19
think of that?" And he go he says "Well
5:20
that didn't suck." And that's just as
5:23
you know exactly who I'm talking to and
5:25
it's like that's the that's a lens that
5:27
we all kind of look at in a lot of ways
5:29
And so yes we might imagine the a job or
5:33
a career or a lifestyle that we really
5:36
really want but then subconsciously we
5:38
start stacking up the difficulty and the
5:41
discomfort against us right And so I
5:43
think of it you know anybody that's
5:45
tuned into your show you know if we take
5:47
trauma out of it if we think about how
5:49
our brains work right Right This is my
5:51
prefrontal cortex and this is my lyic
5:53
system This is my you know judges safety
5:56
and danger And so in a calm state on a
6:00
zero to 10 I'm thinking I'm you know
6:02
right dreaming about the future that I
6:04
want and contemplating existence and all
6:07
these things rest digest and then you
6:10
know as my safety starts to be
6:13
compromised you know I get about halfway
6:15
I like to look at it as my eyes my
6:17
senses are straight out like what's that
6:19
Right So I start getting some
6:21
information that things might be might
6:24
need something right and then when my
6:25
lid fully flips I'm in action I'm in
6:27
freeze flight or flight So if we take
6:30
trauma out of it and we just say how
6:32
does this mechanism work and how we take
6:34
action in our everyday lives it's kind
6:37
of the same thing and I see the region
6:39
beta paradox as being the spring that
6:41
automatically keeps that lid down it's
6:43
trying to keep us from blowing up our
6:45
lives because if we're constantly
6:47
reacting if we're constantly reacting to
6:50
things then we can't develop complex
6:54
tribal systems and societies and do and
6:57
and achieve long-term goals right We're
6:58
a squirrel We get distracted by the next
7:00
thing or whatever So it seems to me like
7:03
there's this mechanism that keeps us
7:05
going the status quo on the path And
7:08
it's this resistance to action And it's
7:10
only when our system goes whoa that was
7:14
really really bad That I go into it
7:16
doesn't have to be traumatic fight or
7:17
flight but I go I'm going to do
7:19
something about it So a common scenario
7:21
would be you know I'm in the job that I
7:23
don't really like I'm languishing I'm
7:26
burnt out It's not fulfilling to me It's
7:28
just a grind I can't wait to not do it
7:30
every day but I need it It's my
7:32
financial stability It's maybe the
7:34
connection I have to people the the
7:37
market you know the the job market isn't
7:39
good the economy is not whatever the
7:41
things are that keep that you know my
7:43
lid down and keep me doing the status
7:45
quo Death by a thousand cuts and then
7:48
there's a layoff right Or I'm fired for
7:50
some right And then I'm like oh no I
7:52
would have predicted that would have
7:53
been the worst possible outcome that I
7:55
lost the job but then I lose the job and
7:57
I'm forced into action So now I actually
8:01
find a job that aligns with you know
8:03
that's fulfilling that gives me purpose
8:04
or you get to learn something new You
8:06
get to create new relationships You now
8:09
like your boss a little bit better and
8:10
you didn't realize it was so bad in the
8:12
alternate position And so you didn't
8:15
bother to change the to change your
8:18
circumstances until it got so bad and
8:20
you had no choice and you were forced to
8:21
change it Yeah And I think the
8:23
realization is the key piece right This
8:25
is an unconscious bias This isn't the
8:27
calculus that our prefrontal cortexes
8:29
use This is that am I safe Am I stable
8:33
How do I maintain the status quo as
8:35
opposed to just this really reactionary
8:37
and do I want to look for a new job and
8:39
have to go through the anxiety of
8:41
interviewing and upset my schedule and
8:44
have to prove myself to my new
8:45
co-workers and my boss and I'm already
8:47
liked well enough over here and so then
8:49
I have to start all over again and all
8:51
of that distress that would be part of
8:54
you know exploring a new opportunity
8:56
would would be so overwhelming or
8:58
overwhelming enough that I just go nah
9:01
I'm not going to bother with that Mhm
9:02
And I see it everywhere We were talking
9:04
about this earlier I have this bum
9:06
shoulder I've had this shoulder injury
9:08
for quite a while Like I can't really
9:11
get my arm super high and it's this
9:13
nagging discomfort but I'm you know in
9:16
my mind I say "Oh surgery It's I'm going
9:19
to be laid up for x number of months and
9:22
oh summer's coming and I'll put that off
9:24
or you know it's going to be a very
9:25
painful recovery or whatever that is."
9:27
So I'm stacking the deck against action
9:30
right and I'm supporting inaction But
9:33
what's happened is that I have this
9:35
really annoying persistent injury that's
9:37
going on for much longer than if I had
9:40
have said "Ow that hurts." And gone to
9:42
the doctor and got the scans and done
9:44
the physical therapy Right So now I'm
9:45
having to wait till it's bad enough and
9:47
I'm like "Uhoh honey I might need some
9:49
help shaving my head." Right It's become
9:51
it's become bad enough that I now need
9:54
to do something about it And I think
9:55
that really kind of summarizes this
9:57
thing is that we just sit there and we
9:58
just we tolerate we tolerate we tolerate
10:01
Well and you talked about the example of
10:03
being in a job but even if you're in a
10:05
position of leadership or a position of
10:08
choosing who's working for you whether
10:10
it's a cleaning lady or an employee or
10:12
your your yard person or even going to
10:15
let's say you're going to a specific um
10:18
coffee shop and they they have something
10:20
that keeps going wrong When I was
10:21
thinking about it when we were chatting
10:23
about this for the for the show I had an
10:26
employee a while back that was okay She
10:29
got the job done She was nice enough to
10:31
our clients Uh she was not so bad She
10:33
was not so bad Yeah But but there were
10:36
things that she did that weren't up to
10:37
my satisfaction and she tended to have
10:39
persistent personal crises and it would
10:42
pull her out of doing a good job And we
10:44
might have that happen for a day or a
10:46
half a day or whatever else And during
10:47
those times you know I liked her as a
10:49
person and so I had compassion for her
10:51
personal experiences that were you know
10:53
regular crisis And at the same time I
10:56
suffered the loss of the the employee
10:58
that I really wanted during those times
11:01
and thinking about putting a job out on
11:03
Indeed and going through the interview
11:05
process and blocking my calendar for
11:07
however many hours I needed to to find
11:09
somebody new and then you know the pain
11:11
of retraining a person All of those
11:13
things just sounded horrible And then an
11:15
experience happened where you know she
11:17
did something that really from an
11:18
ethical perspective left me no choice
11:20
but I had to let her go And it was it
11:23
was awful I mean you remember we were on
11:24
vacation and we were supposed to be able
11:26
to have our time off And because I had
11:28
to let her go immediately because of
11:30
what she had done it was like I don't
11:32
have a choice I have to take these three
11:34
days of our vacation and I have to now
11:36
find a new person We can't run our
11:37
business without someone answering the
11:38
phones And it was so frustrating And
11:40
then what we ended up finding was like
11:42
such an awesome person to help us And um
11:46
had I done that sooner it would have
11:47
been you know in our best interest But I
11:50
think to your to your point the the
11:53
steps that it would have taken to make
11:54
that happen were so frustrating And so
11:56
and and the way that we stack up what
11:59
that change would be right How long
12:01
would it take to onboard find somebody
12:03
and then onboard somebody And so what
12:05
comes to my mind in that situation is
12:07
this old idiom the devil we know is
12:09
better than the devil we don't And so we
12:12
tend to do that in so many situations
12:14
where and because of our defense
12:16
mechanisms like cognitive dissonance
12:18
like um you in our different coping
12:20
mechanisms when we suffer
12:24
this discomfort but it doesn't cross the
12:28
threshold right of too bad right then
12:31
our defense mechanisms kick in and we
12:33
start to rationalize it or we start you
12:35
know to resolve that cognitive
12:37
dissonance and in a way we do that is
12:39
when we stack up the blocks and we put
12:41
more cushion between the action boundary
12:44
until we're forced into action So you
12:47
know laid off Two points on that You and
12:49
I owe each other a vacation still That
12:52
happen Um and and second like looking at
12:54
that in so many facets of our life right
12:57
So not just as the employer you know in
12:59
my my main job I've been in technology
13:02
and specifically productivity So looking
13:05
at uh you know for 30 years So it's
13:07
looking at what's the relationship
13:09
between humans and technology and the
13:11
workplace and you know over the last you
13:13
know 15 years or so it's been very
13:15
fascinating in looking at
13:17
multigenerational workforces you know we
13:19
have five generations in the same
13:20
workforce all having different habits
13:22
and styles so starting to think from a
13:24
systems perspective you know how do we
13:26
adjust right and how do we adapt and
13:28
evolve as as people and then technolog
13:30
is changing covid was a huge um gamecher
13:35
when it came to how people worked and
13:37
how they did their value proposition for
13:40
where and how they worked And so we
13:43
watched large organiz organizations have
13:45
to to change that We think about hybrid
13:47
work or remote work and the the value
13:51
proposition that people have and what
13:53
they do and where they're too bad enough
13:56
threshold actually lies So to me it's
14:00
really fascinating Um you know
14:02
Microsoft's done a lot of work called
14:04
the work labs where we look at what that
14:06
value proposition is for people And when
14:08
we start looking at the data around
14:11
things like thriving versus languishing
14:14
burnout presentism which is I'm showing
14:16
up to work but I'm bringing 80% of
14:19
myself right For a while it was called
14:20
this quiet quitting right Where I'm only
14:22
there like 50% but I'm in the seat Or
14:25
absenteeism lots of sick days lots of
14:27
you know I didn't show up kind of like
14:28
the employee experience you were talking
14:30
about And so when we start to look at
14:32
what are the things that are driving
14:33
that I see region beta paradox I see
14:36
both an employee and an employer who's
14:39
you know the employee is saying the gig
14:41
is good enough It's not bad enough to to
14:43
warrant a change And the employer is
14:46
going it's good enough it's not worth
14:49
you know disrupting my culture or
14:51
training leadership or having new goals
14:53
and outcomes outlined or engaging people
14:56
or getting new employees or training
14:58
those employees So we sit in this
15:00
purgatory of not bad enough in so many
15:04
aspects of our life and now I'm just
15:05
kind of like Rainman like region beta
15:07
paradox It's everywhere It's everywhere
15:09
Right So I think we have a pretty good
15:12
idea about what this concept is And I am
15:14
sure you know as a listener you're
15:15
thinking about all the areas you know
15:17
whether you're cohabitating with a
15:18
person who's okay or your roommates's
15:20
all right enough or anything that might
15:23
be you know status quo and not wanting
15:25
to go through the internal distress or
15:27
the overwhelm or the anxiety of making
15:30
those changes So let's talk now about
15:32
how do we get past that what what do we
15:35
do so that we can change things in our
15:37
lives that aren't so bad but you know
15:40
we'd like to see it different whether
15:42
I'm working with Fortune 500 corporate
15:44
customers on productivity and culture
15:47
and technology or whether I'm talking to
15:50
a client in my counseling office I think
15:53
the first step to anything is making it
15:55
conscious right right understanding that
15:58
there's something there that that we all
16:00
have this spring it's not this isn't
16:02
pathology right it's not a result of
16:04
trauma The trauma might affect how loose
16:07
or tight that spring is That makes sense
16:09
But but this it's just there It's like
16:11
how do I handle discomfort and when do I
16:14
go into action And so bringing awareness
16:16
to it and making it conscious means that
16:19
those unconscious defense mechanisms
16:22
that we have to rationalize to reason to
16:26
resolve cognitive dissonance then those
16:29
become conscious as well We can't just
16:31
blindly and unconsciously walk through
16:34
life and expect things to change unless
16:37
we don't take action If nothing changes
16:40
nothing changes One of my favorite
16:41
quotes is uh I think it's La Zoo if if
16:44
I'll probably say it wrong but it's
16:46
basically you're likely to end up where
16:48
you're heading if you don't change
16:49
direction right And so bringing that to
16:52
awareness and saying why am I in the job
16:55
or the relationship or the house or the
16:57
situation I am and not just pushing off
17:00
action How can I take any action to
17:04
build a better life And I think that's
17:05
something you know we've done a previous
17:07
episode on our agreements and our
17:09
relationship about how we go through
17:10
life and long-term planning right in
17:13
long-term planning that just means I'm
17:15
having iterative steps of action that
17:17
I'm willing to take And a lot of us get
17:19
stuck in this analysis paralysis where
17:21
we sit there and go I can't take any
17:23
action You know James Clear talks about
17:24
this in atomic habits a lot is this
17:27
planning before the action And we can
17:29
stay in the spot and we can commiserate
17:31
around how bad things are We can
17:32
rationalize how not so bad they are we
17:35
can talk about preparing to take action
17:38
and until we cross that that threshold
17:42
of discomfort to actually move into
17:44
action nothing changes And so bringing
17:46
that to awareness is step one Dr Becky
17:49
talked about it on that episode on her
17:51
Good Inside podcast Do you remember we
17:53
were talking about it and she talked
17:55
about you know if there's a fear of
17:57
moving forward and the the action plans
18:00
are too many and you think about the
18:02
steps that need to be taken and you
18:05
think about let's say there's seven
18:06
steps and you aren't making any moves
18:08
forward We talked about and she talked
18:10
about in that episode then the first
18:12
step was too big Yeah I the way I recall
18:14
it was a teacher or something told her
18:16
that it's like if you're finding
18:18
yourself in procrastination or in action
18:20
it's because the first step's too big So
18:22
cut it in half make it smaller and if
18:24
it's still then make it smaller make it
18:25
smaller make it smaller And so I think
18:27
philosophically that makes sense because
18:30
I have a clearly stated goal and I want
18:32
to do that But with the region beta
18:34
paradox we're saying by default my
18:36
stated goal is status quo Right Right So
18:39
it's almost the opposite of that How do
18:41
I stretch that spring a little bit And
18:44
and even just to recognize my own
18:47
propensities to want to stay the course
18:49
and to tolerate I can think of an
18:51
example that I think a lot of people
18:52
would relate to You know my closet is
18:55
the bane of my existence It is so
18:57
overwhelming It is so stressful I've got
18:59
too many clothes for the given space I
19:02
struggle with determining if I should
19:03
let something go I've got some scarcity
19:05
stuff in my history related to like what
19:07
if I don't have it again or what if I
19:09
need this tank top again And when I
19:11
think about the discomfort I feel every
19:13
single time I walk into my closet it's
19:15
so frustrating But then when I think
19:17
about having to give up a whole day to
19:19
clean my closet that sounds terrible And
19:21
so I think about the Dr Becky analogy
19:24
that she talked about And so now when I
19:26
look at my closet I feel like I can take
19:29
a bite I know that it's a problem I want
19:31
to deal with And so instead of thinking
19:32
I need to do my whole closet I go I can
19:34
handle the tank tops and I can go
19:36
through just the tank tops I can move
19:38
enough so I can close the door Well it's
19:40
not that bad But I'm just saying you
19:42
know I I can't think about doing it with
19:44
my whole closet and then I have to try
19:45
everything on and then I have to deal
19:47
with like shame if something's too tight
19:48
or it doesn't fit or whatever When it's
19:50
an easy situation or an easy question
19:53
like there like a shirt is pilly that's
19:55
easy enough for me to put in the
19:56
donation pile But if it kind of fits or
19:59
I liked it once or I remember going
20:00
somewhere in it and I liked the
20:02
experience it it becomes overwhelming to
20:04
me So I think trimming down that first
20:06
step is a good example about I might
20:08
recognize there's an issue that I want
20:10
to change and the overwhelm of doing my
20:12
whole closet seems like too much and so
20:14
then I'm frustrated every time I go to
20:16
get dressed Take a small step I think we
20:18
can that's the other piece that we want
20:20
to talk about is just taking a small
20:22
step starting somewhere I think we can
20:24
all relate to that What I'm seeing in my
20:27
mind as we talk about it region beta
20:30
paradox right is what we're talking
20:32
about is moving the threshold of
20:35
discomfort Sure And that's almost you
20:38
almost just illustrated the
20:42
unconscious reaction to staying
20:46
underneath that threshold Mhm So you
20:49
know I can go in my closet and I see
20:51
stuff on my floor and as long as I can
20:53
safely step over and navigate it without
20:56
putting a footprint in my favorite what
20:58
right Then then I can I can go okay it's
21:01
fine It's fine It's fine Because the big
21:03
thing of cleaning the closet is
21:05
overwhelming And what I've heard you
21:06
describe is well chunk up the progress
21:10
so that I can do the littlest amount of
21:12
action as possible without having to
21:14
cross the threshold M and what I would
21:17
challenge you to consider is think of a
21:20
time that for whatever reason maybe we
21:23
were moving and you had no choice but to
21:26
go into the closet and then you went
21:28
into the closet and you cleaned it right
21:30
How good did you feel after you took
21:34
that big step So the piece to take away
21:36
from this is what does it take to take
21:39
action to cross the threshold because we
21:42
believe going over that threshold causes
21:45
pain and discomfort and uncertainty and
21:47
we avoid it and so we avoid it It's a
21:48
riskmanagement strategy and we avoid it
21:50
So we either do kind of what you just
21:52
described which is we lower the
21:54
threshold we take smaller bites we do
21:56
everything in our unconscious power to
21:58
stay on this side of the threshold
22:02
because we believe crossing the
22:03
threshold is is too hard It's not worth
22:06
it It's going to be painful My closet
22:07
isn't bad enough it's organized in that
22:09
and that that discomfort will last a
22:11
long time But the inverse is true What
22:15
what the peculiar longevity of things
22:17
not so bad tells us what this region
22:18
beta paradox is is we're actually
22:20
prolonging the discomfort by staying on
22:23
the on this side of the as you're
22:25
talking about it I'm imagining giving up
22:27
part of my weekend and just doing it and
22:29
then thinking about how good I feel that
22:31
it's just been handled and every time I
22:33
go to get dressed I'm proud of myself
22:35
which motivates future behavior I'm
22:38
excited about it and and that's great
22:39
because you're tapped into your
22:40
dopamineergic system and and you can
22:42
imagine having done that enough that you
22:45
know I know I will that were hard that I
22:47
know what it feels like But so many
22:48
people that get stuck in the region beta
22:52
zone and they don't cross that comfort
22:55
that that threshold of discomfort until
22:57
it's too bad I think they build up more
23:00
associations with avoiding things that
23:02
are too bad They don't always redo their
23:05
calculus and go "Oh wait a minute that
23:07
wasn't so bad right And life doesn't
23:08
meet us on our terms And so when then so
23:11
then when something happens that is out
23:13
of our control that forces us to move
23:14
forward we then can go you know I even
23:17
though it was terrible that I got fired
23:18
from my job I'm really glad that it
23:20
happened because it forced me to you
23:23
know to stretch a little bit and to face
23:24
those discomforts ultimately improving
23:27
the quality of my life eventually and
23:29
knowing you know So I think the couple
23:31
of lessons are one bringing it to
23:33
awareness right everything that we do we
23:36
improve when we can bring our
23:37
subconscious unconscious to
23:39
consciousness and noticing be in
23:42
relationship with it we notice you know
23:43
the second thing is asking ourselves why
23:46
am I resisting change is that rational
23:49
you know am I is my spring wound too
23:51
tight where I just I'm going to suffer
23:54
death by a thousand cuts because you
23:56
know what am I afraid of and then
23:57
bringing that into consciousness as well
24:00
and having that kind of plan to to move
24:02
through it Well I so appreciate you
24:04
coming on this show today to discuss
24:07
this one of your favorite topics and
24:09
hopefully this becomes a good resource
24:11
for future clients that we can refer
24:13
them to understand when we see it with
24:16
our clients And hopefully you as the
24:18
listener are resonating with some of
24:20
these ideas and are maybe feeling a
24:23
little bit motivated to make some bigger
24:25
changes perhaps without the universe
24:28
forcing you to do so so that you can
24:30
really live to your best fullest
24:32
fruition and live your best life and not
24:34
have uh something out of your control
24:36
require you to do so And if you're not
24:38
motivated to action think about it right
24:42
Stay stuck If nothing changes nothing
24:44
changes So Patrick thank you so much for
24:46
being here with me today I always enjoy
24:48
our conversations and appreciate your
24:51
time and your passion to look into new
24:53
concepts and your willingness to be the
24:55
maven on these sorts of topics I really
24:57
appreciate it So thank you Pleasure
24:59
Thanks for having me Yes Thank you so
25:00
much for tuning in today to Adaptable We
25:03
hope this inspires you to make some
25:04
changes in your life And if you're
25:06
thinking of someone that this reminds
25:07
you of please feel free to share this
25:09
episode to help them maybe bump them
25:11
through to making some changes to
25:13
improve their lives But until we meet
25:15
again don't forget to lead with love
25:17
It'll never steer you wrong
25:20
[Music]
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