0:00
So some tools for healing a anxious
0:02
attachment would be recognizing
0:04
positives. Notice when a person in
0:06
relationship shows up for you. Let them
0:08
know it feels good. Let yourself know.
0:11
You can see it. You can feel it.
0:13
Practice true vulnerability. You know,
0:16
express your fears. Express insecurities
0:18
rather than blaming or protesting. Get
0:21
underneath that blame and look at the
0:23
pain that you're feeling and express
0:25
that. Practice boundaries. This takes
0:28
work. You have to learn to identify and
0:31
voice your needs even if it feels
0:32
uncomfortable or you feel fearful like
0:35
there's going to be potential rejection
0:36
or disconnection. Have self-compassion.
0:40
Be gentle with yourself. This is hard.
0:42
Um as someone who I would have
0:44
identified very much as someone who was
0:46
anxiously attached, it's hard to really
0:49
work those edges and really give
0:51
yourself space. So have compassion. Uh
0:53
it takes time and we have to have new
0:56
neuropathways built in order to
0:57
establish new default modes of how we
1:00
show up in relationship. Don't do it
1:02
alone. We can't do it alone. So make
1:04
sure you seek out therapy, you get
1:06
support because working with a therapist
1:09
helps you to establish new patterns and
1:11
rewire the old pathways in our brain.
1:14
And think about things like what gives
1:16
you energy, who gives you energy, what
1:19
feels meaningful outside of
1:20
relationships. Building a sense of
1:23
purpose, building your own sense of self
1:25
beyond attachment as an autonomous
1:28
independent person really is key. So the
1:31
good news is is you can reclaim your
1:33
joy. You can move yourself into a more
1:36
securely attachment pattern because
1:38
anxious attachment makes you feel like
1:40
your spark is lost. It makes you feel
1:42
lonely. It makes you feel tired. It's
1:44
really just buried under old fears. So
1:47
working on uncovering those old fears
1:49
and leaning into those emotional
1:51
histories where you weren't able to
1:53
count on connection is critical. I want
1:55
you to celebrate small wins. Every time
1:57
you set a boundary or express a need,
2:00
you're growing. And this is the evidence
2:01
of that. And reconnecting with self and
2:03
purpose and joy. Find moments that make
2:06
you smile, even if they're short. And
2:08
tune into those moments. Remember that
2:10
you're not too much. Your needs are
2:12
valid. You matter. and your needs matter
2:14
equally to others. So, it's not about
2:17
pushing through the anxiety. It's about
2:19
learning to bend. It's about learning to
2:21
be flexible. It's about showing slowing
2:24
down so that you can breathe and showing
2:26
yourself that you can tolerate some
2:28
disconnection and honoring your limits
2:30
along the way. So, anxious attachment,
2:34
like I said, it's rooted in those early
2:36
experiences. It shapes how we seek
2:38
connection. It shows up in our
2:40
relationships and it leads to those
2:42
cycles of anxiety of overanalyzing trust
2:46
issues. Uh not being able to trust in
2:48
relationships of of love is really a
2:51
character trait of someone with anxious
2:53
attachment. But healing's possible.
2:56
You've got to have self-awareness.
2:57
You're watching this show, so it tells
2:59
me you're interested. Um you're looking
3:01
at yourself or the people around you and
3:03
really trying to dig deep and
3:05
understand. Requires vulnerability. We
3:07
don't grow without discomfort and so
3:09
it's uncomfortable. And then really
3:11
arming yourself with supportive
3:13
relationships, people that want to see
3:15
you heal. You're not broken. You're just
3:17
human. And we all have childhoods that
3:19
were imperfect because we all have
3:21
parents that were imperfect even if they
3:23
were doing the very best that they
