0:00
Another example is potentially a sibling
0:02
that allows themselves to mourn the
0:04
attention that they never got, which
0:06
then opens space for more patience for
0:08
their brother or sister. Now, so let me
0:10
give you some tips that you can do, and
0:12
this is really powerful. So, prepare to
0:14
be a bit emotional if you really take it
0:16
seriously. Write a letter to your
0:18
younger self and talk to them like they
0:21
needed to be talked to. Acknowledge the
0:23
help that you needed but didn't receive.
0:26
You'll be surprised at what comes up and
0:27
and you'll find yourself back in time
0:30
where you needed a lot more compassion
0:31
and love. Practice self-compassion.
0:35
Speak to yourself as you would to a dear
0:37
friend. And if you catch yourself
0:39
talking in a way to yourself that you
0:42
wouldn't to someone that you care for,
0:44
try to clean that up because those
0:46
pathways get deeper the more we talk to
0:48
ourselves in ways that are unkind. And
0:50
allow yourself to feel grief without
0:52
judgment. It's really necessary
0:55
especially towards healing un unresolved
0:57
resentment. Compassion for others starts
1:00
from within. We don't have it for others
1:02
typically if we haven't given it to
1:04
ourselves. So when we grieve our own
1:06
losses and we practice self-compassion.
1:09
We replenish our cup. Our reserves get
1:11
full. And compassion isn't about
1:13
ignoring our needs. It's about honoring
1:15
them so that we can show up
1:16
authentically and kindly. Resentment's a
1:19
sign that we're running on empty and
1:21
that we are out of out of space and that
1:24
we are giving when we don't have much
1:25
left to give. And that usually happens
1:27
when we're not first giving to oursel.
1:29
And so if you're thinking about this as
1:31
an issue for you, you're not alone. Kind
1:34
of check in and and be curious about
1:36
that. So let me give you a little bit of
1:39
an example because if you tend to your
1:41
own grief, um you'll find it easier to
1:44
support others in their emotional needs
1:46
without the resentment. That's really
1:48
what it's all about, right? Is
1:49
cultivating connection that doesn't feel
1:51
burdensome. So, let me give you some
1:53
practical tips that might help. Um, I
1:56
want you to think about setting
1:57
boundaries that honor your need for
1:59
space and time that prevent compassion
2:02
fatigue and that prevent burnout and
2:05
remember that when you have compassion
2:07
for others, you have to first start with
2:09
yourself. I like this mantra. I can care
2:12
for others without abandoning myself.
2:14
And I think that that's something,
2:16
especially as a trauma therapist, I have
2:18
to think about regularly. And on the
2:20
days that I start my morning with a
2:22
compassionate practice of self-care, I
2:24
do a lot better with my clients because
2:26
I have plenty to give. I think that's
2:28
important. I can care for others without
2:30
abandoning myself. So, if you're in a
2:32
caretaking role, whether it's as a
2:34
parent or in the occupation that you
2:36
chose, try to adopt some of these
2:38
strategies so that it's easier to remain
2:40
balanced and full. So, thank you so much
2:42
for tuning in because resentment is a
2:45
signal. It's not a flaw. And it points
2:48
us towards our unspoken needs and our
2:49
unmet expectations and our old wounds
2:51
that need our attention and love. And by
2:54
grieving what we lost and practicing
2:58
we'll have space for genuine connection
3:00
now with the people in our relationships
3:02
and in our life. Now, if this episode
3:05
resonated with you, please share it with
3:06
someone that might need to hear a little
3:08
bit about how to heal from their own
3:10
resentment. Know that you're not alone.
