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Welcome to Adaptable | Behavior Explained! Everyone deals with varying degrees of stress and sometimes trauma, both big and small. Many different events in life can contribute to trauma, including ongoing chronic stress, medical issues, natural disasters, job loss, divorce, and other challenges. After a trauma, people experience feelings of shock and denial. Long-term effects of trauma may include intense emotions, physical symptoms, flashbacks, and problems with relationships. Fortunately, there are healthy ways to cope with trauma and get to the other side. I'm here to talk about some of those ways.
I'm Kelly O'Horo, Attachment based EMDR Therapist, EMDRIA Consultant, and Advanced Trainer. I'm a mom of 5, Nonna of 5, wife, and a healer. I have the honor of spending my workdays walking along side people while they brave their healing journeys. I try to live with the generous assumption that we're all doing the best we can with what we know. Therapists are teachers for the "life stuff" and "emotional vocabulary" that may not have been learned due to gaps in our care givers capabilities. In the last 15 years I've learned that people are freaking amazing, resilient, and inspiring. Most importantly, we are hardwired for connection and for healing!
I hope to bring an authentic, compassionate, and unpolished approach while we explore a variety of topics such as parenting, marriage, relationships, dating, trauma, attachment, adoption, depression, addiction, anxiety, and love! There's a why for all behaviors and an explanation that makes perfect sense as emotion is at the root of it all.
-- Links --
https://linktr.ee/kellyohorolpc
https://youtu.be/rLnARKekvgo
https://www.emdria.org/find-an-emdr-therapist/
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0:06
hi everyone I'm Kelly ooro and this is
0:09
adaptable Behavior explained hi there
0:13
thanks so much for tuning in today we're
0:15
going to be talking about coping skills
0:17
for trauma trauma symptoms like anxiety
0:21
depression and those those uh attributes
0:25
are really hypoarousal like depression
0:28
hyperarousal like anxiety and they're
0:30
all symptoms of trauma so if you like
0:33
this topic and you want to hear more
0:34
about this please like and share and
0:37
maybe subscribe to the channel so that
0:39
you can not miss next episodes and it'll
0:42
also help me learn more about what
0:44
you're drawn to and what content you'd
0:45
like to see more of so like I said today
0:48
we're going to explore a variety of
0:49
activities and skills that can help
0:52
alleviate the symptoms associated with
0:54
trauma uh some of those symptoms might
0:57
be emotional disregulation so I'm up I'm
1:00
down I'm hypo shut down I'm super
1:03
anxious or manic U hyper vigilance you
1:06
know this is I'm always thinking the
1:08
other shoe's going to drop I you know
1:10
can't sit in a um in a restaurant with
1:13
my back to a door these are sort of
1:15
hypervigilant things those can be safety
1:18
oriented hypervigilant things or we can
1:20
have um attachment oriented
1:23
hypervigilance because of a history of
1:25
rejection or neglect flashbacks or
1:28
intrusive memories can be symptoms that
1:30
we're going to look at helping to to to
1:32
calm down and tolerate avoidance or
1:35
dissociation is another symptom that we
1:37
might experience from trauma and then we
1:40
also have somatic issues like headaches
1:42
or back pain gut issues or 99% of the
1:46
time tied to unresolved emotional
1:48
distress and of course so many more
1:50
things that we might deal with because
1:52
of unresolved distress in our body that
1:55
is a result of things that happened that
1:57
we weren't in control of and we didn't
1:59
have power over
2:00
and how they just got maladaptively
2:02
encoded in our nervous system so it's
2:04
important to mention that people with uh
2:07
cptsd or PTSD might experience a
2:10
combination of these symptoms and we can
2:13
not have full-fledged PTSD or
2:16
cptsd um which by the way is not a
2:19
technical DSM diagnosis it's just a lay
2:21
person way that we address symptoms that
2:24
often times had to do with pervasive
2:27
long-term experiences often related to
2:29
neglect or abandonment and disruption in
2:32
the um attachment system while we were
2:34
growing up so but there's another whole
2:36
show on that if you want to dig in more
2:37
deeply to that topic um but these
2:40
symptoms can fluctuate over time
2:42
depending on things that are going on in
2:44
our lives triggers stresses levels of
2:47
support I always tell people consider
2:49
what's going on are you halt hungry
2:52
angry lonely tired and if any of those
2:54
things are going on there's a likelihood
2:56
that your tolerance or your capacity is
2:58
reduced so we want to make have you zoom
3:01
out and take a full look at what's going
3:02
on in your life so we're going to delve
3:05
into things that you can do such as cold
3:07
plunge meditation exercise naturopathic
3:11
medicine and yoga and we're going to
3:13
talk more about why these things can
3:15
help you calm your nervous system it's
3:18
important to keep it in mind that these
3:19
things are simply skills that can be
3:21
adopted to help quell symptoms or
3:24
stabilize symptoms but these things
3:26
aren't actually enough to heal trauma
3:30
entirely they're help they're helpful to
3:32
navigate the symptoms of trauma or the
3:34
distress that we're experiencing in our
3:36
life and of course if you want to really
3:39
dig into fully healing from from the
3:41
trauma of your story and the symptoms
3:43
that you're experiencing physiologically
3:46
I highly recommend seeking professional
3:48
help from a mental health professional
3:50
that's familiar with trauma informed
3:52
care and of course uses bottom up
3:54
therapies and modalities so that you can
3:57
have uh PR uh effective treatment for
3:59
your symptoms but again there's a lot we
4:02
can do on our own that doesn't cost a
4:04
whole lot of money to manage the way
4:06
we're showing up in our lives so we're
4:08
going to dig in the first thing I want
4:10
to talk about is cold plunging I know
4:13
it's a big buzz right now it's all over
4:15
YouTube and all over so many channels
4:17
and I know that it sounds intimidating
4:20
and so many people even have
4:21
associations around having been cold in
4:23
their story and they're just really
4:25
avoidant to the idea of cold plunging
4:27
because it does involve immersing self
4:29
into cold water for short periods of
4:31
time it's suggested to spend 3 minutes
4:34
at a time or 11 minutes a week in water
4:38
that's 50° or colder uh if the water's
4:40
warmer than that you'll need more time
4:42
to bring your body temperature down this
4:45
practice has been shown to reduce
4:47
inflammation improve circulation a boost
4:50
uh boosts your immune system and mood um
4:54
and it triggers the release of
4:55
endorphins and uh this is a really
4:58
natural cool way to use your body and
5:01
the extenuating circumstances around you
5:03
to to kind of force you know chemical
5:06
changes in your body which is so cool uh
5:08
and it doesn't take very much time some
5:10
studies show that there is as much as a
5:13
500% increase in dopamine for as many as
5:16
3 hours post plunging so that's your
5:19
motivation to to do something and to
5:22
move forward and to get tasks done and
5:25
if you want to dig in more deeply to the
5:27
content about dopamine specifically
5:30
uh huberman has an awesome awesome um uh
5:33
podcast on that topic and I'll put the
5:35
link in our um comments below so I have
5:39
to say personally that my husband and I
5:41
just started coal plunging this year and
5:43
I just can't say enough about how it's
5:45
increased my concentration my motivation
5:48
and mood on the days that I do do plunge
5:52
uh and I have to be honest it's never
5:53
easy to get in I don't look forward to
5:55
it I still stand at the edge of the
5:57
water and I'm like H I don't want to get
5:59
get in it's just this doesn't sound fun
6:01
at all but it's over really fast and I
6:04
absolutely look forward to the way that
6:06
I feel when I'm done with it and then of
6:08
course the benefits that I get to
6:10
experience the rest of the day are
6:12
really starting to build Pathways in my
6:13
nervous system that it's for sure worth
6:15
it so there's getting a lot of Pathways
6:18
of reward and reinforcement that this
6:20
behavior is serving me many people find
6:23
that cold plunging helps regulate their
6:24
nervous system and it provides a sense
6:27
of calm amidst the chaos of their trauma
6:29
symptoms and ultimately when you think
6:31
about it cold plunge we're activating
6:34
that sympathetic nervous system response
6:37
because if I get in water that's so cold
6:39
my body is like oh rats we're going to
6:41
die here and so it kicks in that fight
6:44
response or that you know survival
6:46
response and it does it on purpose but
6:49
then what gets to happen is when you get
6:50
out you get the natural calming effect
6:54
of going into parasympathetic reaction
6:58
and so we are basically forcing our body
7:01
into those two State changes and then we
7:03
get to write out the benefit of that for
7:05
you know like most of the day which is
7:08
which is really cool so next on our list
7:11
to talk about is meditation meditation
7:13
is a powerful tool it calms the mind it
7:16
reduces stress and if we practice
7:18
mindfulness or mindful um focused
7:21
breathing techniques people with any
7:23
mental health distress can learn to
7:25
ground themselves in the present moment
7:27
because it helps us automatically shift
7:30
into a state of calm if we learn to
7:33
employ these things it can help us
7:35
cultivate self-awareness and develop a
7:38
greater resilience in the face of
7:40
triggers and flashbacks and things that
7:42
happen related to our distress so if you
7:45
can incorporate meditation into a daily
7:47
routine it can foster a sense of inner
7:49
peace and stability now a little bit of
7:51
personal disclosure here I have
7:54
developed uh meditation and we have
7:56
another episode about that um and um
7:59
mbsr which is a specific kind of uh
8:01
meditation that's from John cabat Zen
8:04
but last year my husband and I went to a
8:06
Meditation Retreat with John kabat Zen
8:09
and his son will and it was absolutely
8:12
life-changing um and I talk more about
8:15
that in another episode but what I can
8:17
say is having continued the meditation
8:20
practice for sometimes only 10 minutes a
8:22
day depending on my schedule I no longer
8:25
even take my ADHD medication because I
8:28
am able to be so much more present and I
8:30
have so much more Focus so it really
8:33
does help to change the brain so the
8:35
optimal duration of meditation for
8:37
achieving the best outcomes and reducing
8:39
stress in your body it can vary
8:42
depending on individual factors like
8:44
experience level your goals and your
8:47
preferences however there is research
8:49
that suggests that even relatively short
8:51
durations of meditation practice yields
8:54
physical health benefits so if you're a
8:58
beginner starting with just a few
8:59
minutes of meditation per day such as 5
9:02
to 10 can be beneficial for reducing
9:04
stress promoting relaxation and bringing
9:07
you into a calmer sense of self and as
9:10
you become more experienced and
9:11
comfortable with meditation you may want
9:13
to up it gradually increase the duration
9:15
of your sessions many mindfulness-based
9:18
stress reduction programs recommend
9:20
practicing meditation for about 20 to 30
9:22
minutes a day so this is what I do on
9:25
most days and this amount of time allows
9:28
you to experience the full benefits of
9:30
meditation including increased Focus
9:33
emotional regulation and of course
9:35
stress reduction and all of these things
9:37
give your body the the little vacation
9:40
from cortisol and the adrenal response
9:42
that is happening in our body when we're
9:45
stressed out or when we just have a lot
9:47
of unresolved trauma in our body and so
9:49
these are things you can do on your own
9:51
that again don't cost any money but can
9:53
help you to create a sense of
9:56
homeostasis in a more relaxed state and
9:59
again it does take time it does take
10:01
commitment and you have to decide if
10:03
that fits for you in your life so some
10:05
Studies have shown that uh even shorter
10:07
or more frequent meditation sessions
10:09
throughout the day can be effective for
10:11
reducing stress for example taking short
10:14
meditation breaks for even just a few
10:16
minutes several times a day can help you
10:18
reset and recharge especially during
10:21
stressful periods so I know that as a
10:23
therapist if I have like a really
10:24
intense session because someone had a
10:26
lot of affective release I will just
10:29
take two minutes and I'll just sit and
10:31
breathe quietly and kind of exhale the
10:34
stress and bring myself back down to a
10:36
state of calm so that I can be ready for
10:38
My next client I definitely recommend
10:40
experimenting with what works for you
10:42
have Grace for yourself and keep in mind
10:44
it's not about judging your thoughts
10:46
it's about just noticing them like
10:48
clouds floating by it's also not about
10:51
emptying your mind a lot of people say I
10:53
can't meditate I'm bad at meditation and
10:56
it's not about being good or bad it's
10:58
just about no noticing it's about
11:00
focusing on a grounding element like
11:02
maybe your seat or your breath and then
11:05
bringing your focus back to those things
11:07
when you notice that it wanders off and
11:09
it's in the land of planning or
11:10
preparing or daydreaming or whatever
11:12
your mind does and notice that I said
11:15
not if it wanders off but when because
11:18
all of our minds have the propensity to
11:20
be busy and to have our brains be
11:23
Meandering and so the objective isn't to
11:25
do anything about it but rather just to
11:27
notice that it's happening and if you
11:29
get curious about it later I wonder why
11:32
I'm always planning or I wonder why I'm
11:34
always thinking about uh the next thing
11:37
that I've got to do it's just about
11:39
noting it and going yep my brain has a
11:41
propensity to plan or my brain has a
11:43
propensity to worry and just recognizing
11:46
and naming it kind of put a mental
11:48
Post-It note on it and allow yourself to
11:50
return back to your breath or your seat
11:52
and just notice ultimately the key to is
11:55
to find a meditation routine that works
11:57
best for you fits your schedule your
12:00
lifestyle keeping in mind that
12:01
consistency and regularity are more
12:04
important than the specific duration of
12:06
each session so try it out short try out
12:09
different times of day spaces in your
12:12
house or outside and be curious to
12:15
discover what works best for you and
12:17
your personal needs and preferences it's
12:19
changed my life like I said before and I
12:22
just I really encourage you uh and
12:24
invite you to give it a try you don't
12:27
have anything to lose so so now we're
12:29
going to move on and talk about exercise
12:32
physical activity is not only beneficial
12:34
for our overall health this isn't news
12:36
to any of you but it also can be
12:38
instrumental in managing symptoms of
12:40
trauma or unresolved dist distress like
12:42
anxiety and depression in our nervous
12:44
systems engaging in regular exercise
12:47
releases those feel-good
12:48
neurotransmitters like endorphins and
12:50
serotonin which helps to alleviate
12:52
depression and anxiety so whether it's
12:55
going for a jog or hitting the gym or
12:57
practicing yoga or finding a form of
13:00
exercise that resonates for you can be a
13:02
powerful tool in your recovery journey I
13:05
know that when the gyms all closed
13:07
during Co I was like okay I'm going to
13:10
lose my mind if I don't do something and
13:12
so I just adopted like a 100 rule I did
13:15
100 sit-ups I did 100 push-ups you know
13:17
I did 100 squats and lunges and I I
13:20
broke it up because I couldn't do it all
13:22
at once and so it was just like moving
13:24
my body was the goal and I had a lot of
13:26
Grace for myself about what that needed
13:28
to look like because there were so many
13:29
limitations so these are things you can
13:31
do when even traveling and just get
13:34
creative with it and try not to box
13:36
yourself into a judgmental thing where
13:38
it's all or nothing thinking just start
13:40
small and do something uh I love how
13:43
Matthew mccon talks about um for him
13:46
it's important for his body and mind and
13:48
spirit to sweat a little bit every day
13:50
and I think that's a really nice
13:51
philosophy and it it comes with a nice
13:54
judge a non-judgmental stance so getting
13:57
that heart rate up a little bit even if
13:59
it's just for 10 minutes a day gives
14:00
your body again that cortisol break
14:02
that's needed and it's the vacation your
14:04
body really needs from the stress
14:06
hormones which just wre havoc on the
14:08
rest of your body if it doesn't get a
14:10
break now we're going to talk about
14:12
naturopathic medicine naturopathic
14:15
approaches focus on treating the whole
14:17
person so they're very zoomed out a good
14:20
naturopathic doctor addresses underlying
14:23
imbalances uh of hormones and um
14:26
everything else that's going on in our
14:28
body from chemical perspective and they
14:30
do really thorough intakes if they're
14:32
good at what they do and ultimately
14:34
checking out those underlying imbalances
14:36
will promote healing from within so
14:39
they'll consider things like dietary
14:41
change herbal supplements acupuncture
14:44
and Homeopathy so naturopathic
14:47
naturopathic interventions offer a
14:49
really holistic approach to managing a a
14:51
whole array of mental health symptoms so
14:54
you want to consult with a qualified
14:57
naturopathic doctor that can can provide
14:59
personalized guidance on incorporating
15:02
natural remedies into your Wellness
15:03
routine at the pace that will work for
15:06
you and that can be adopted in routine
15:08
for you um and they'll help work on
15:10
those things with you so if that's
15:12
something that's interesting I highly
15:14
recommend checking into that um there's
15:16
another really great podcast Dr Brendan
15:18
McCarthy um he owns prota Medical Center
15:22
in uh Arizona and I can say that you
15:25
know he is someone who really looks at
15:27
the whole body and really cares about um
15:29
his patient experience so if you want to
15:31
learn more about this topic go check out
15:33
his podcast so I have to share that my
15:36
personal experience with my naturopathic
15:38
doctor in conjunction with my EMDR
15:40
therapy has actually taken an autoimmune
15:43
issue that I had Hashimoto which is a
15:46
thyroid disease it's into remission
15:49
which medical doctors would often say
15:51
isn't even possible and so I don't
15:53
actually have the blood markers indicate
15:55
that I have the symptoms anymore so we
15:57
really have so much power in our body to
15:59
heal if we can address things from an
16:02
understanding that stress impacts
16:04
everything about its efficacy and every
16:07
um every uh cell in our body and every
16:11
system in our body is really impacted by
16:14
distress and stress in our body so last
16:17
but not least we have to talk about Yoga
16:19
trauma-informed Yoga practices offer a
16:22
gental and compassionate approach that
16:24
helps alleviate symptoms of trauma and
16:26
other mental health issues it's one of
16:29
the three things that actually change
16:31
the brain according to um studies about
16:33
Brain Change meditation yoga and EMDR
16:36
therapy we can literally see pre and
16:38
post to those practices and we can see
16:41
Brain Change so by combining mindful
16:44
movements breath work and meditation
16:46
yoga can help release tension that's
16:48
stored in the body help you regulate
16:50
your nervous system and cultivate a
16:52
sense of safety and empowerment in your
16:54
being and so trauma inform yoga class is
16:58
priority Iz Choice autonomy
17:01
self-compassion uh creates a supportive
17:04
environment for people navigating the
17:06
complexities of trauma recovery and
17:08
their body and things that are stored
17:09
and locked within our cells and I
17:12
absolutely personally love yoga it was
17:15
actually the very first skill that I
17:17
learned that informed me just how
17:19
disconnected from my body I actually was
17:21
I was such a human doing I was so neck
17:23
up and I really didn't have a lot of
17:25
connection to what was happening in my
17:27
vessel and once heard that we're not
17:29
meant to be human doings um we're human
17:32
beings and I really took that to heart
17:34
with yoga especially once I started to
17:37
dive into how uncomfortable I was in my
17:39
body and with Stillness so yoga Keys you
17:43
into just how much you hold in your body
17:45
and with the right kind of guidance it
17:47
helps you to learn how to release um all
17:50
the tension and and the and the
17:52
emotional stuckness that we hold so most
17:56
people have been seeing this show Ted
17:57
lasso it's one of my favorites ever made
18:00
and like Roy Kent says it's the cat's
18:02
pajamas in my opinion and so really
18:04
check out yoga and see what it does for
18:07
you uh there's lots of YouTube channels
18:09
that offer free opportunities to do yoga
18:12
even in your home and so I recommend
18:15
looking at uh Yoga Nidra uh Yin Yoga
18:18
those are slower yogas that are really
18:21
body informed and they're really about
18:23
being super present and tuning in to
18:25
what's happening emotionally those are
18:27
great ones if you you can't go to a yoga
18:29
studio or find a yoga a trauma-formed
18:32
yoga professional those are good ones
18:34
that you could do on your own from the
18:35
comfort of your own home well that wraps
18:38
up our episode for today on coping
18:41
skills and man for managing trauma
18:43
anxiety depression and other mental
18:45
health symptoms uh it's important to
18:47
remember to find the right combination
18:49
of these techniques and skills that
18:51
resonate for you and work with your
18:53
lifestyle and your schedule but the key
18:55
is to create a holistic approach to
18:57
healing and recognizing that you have
19:00
the power to heal if you can slow down
19:03
and go inside and really learn about
19:06
what is emotionally happening in you and
19:08
ultimately learning how to surrender
19:10
that which you're holding on to so thank
19:13
you so much for tuning in and until next
19:15
time remember to lead with love it'll
19:17
never steer you
19:19
[Music]
19:27
wrong
19:28
[Music]
19:37
you
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