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Why I Teach People How To Not Binge Eat (Eating Disorder Therapist Mountain View)
Feb 20, 2023
How to not binge eat is a powerful question.
My top reason is ENLIGHTENMENT. Let me explain why ...
You know uncontrollably and chaotically gobbling down food is ... not ideal, to say the least.
And to tackle this problem you know you'll have to make some big changes.
On the surface level it might seem like you just need to find the 'magic' nutritional bullet.
If only you knew the exact right ratio of proteins to carbs, the right types of fats, the magic number of calories ...
Then your binge eating would go away. You could stick to the diet and lose weight fast.
But the top reason I teach people how to not binge eat ...
Has very little to do with nutrition.
Nothing to do with nutrition? Isn't nutrition a big part of losing weight?
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0:00
Hey, Jared here. Today I'm just sharing a few reasons why, including my number one reason why, I like helping people to not binge eat
0:09
So, the short answer is enlightenment. And I'm coming to this realization because of a couple conversations I had over the past few days
0:19
when someone is committed to not binge eating, to healing, to growing, to becoming more aware of who
0:29
they are as a person, living as their authentic self, and I get to join, I get to see, I get to
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share in that, I get to partake, I get to assist, advise, ask questions. That process fuels me up
0:49
It fires me up. It lightens me up. That's the reason why, the top reason why I love helping people to not binge eat
0:59
You know, if I, on the surface, it seems like binge eating, you're helping people with this
1:06
dark problem, this socially stigmatized thing. And if you had told me 10 years ago, Jared, you're going to help people stop binge eating
1:18
I would have been, what? That is way too niche. That is way too specific. That is like, I would
1:27
have never seen myself do it. And I would have never seen myself enjoying it. Like when you
1:33
think about helping people stop binge eating, it's almost like the image comes in your mind
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is like you're helping some person who's like decrepit or something. And like, that's the
1:44
that's the stereotypical image. And honestly, that's kind of like the image that I came into
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this field with was like, I'm helping people who desperately need my help. But, but no, but no
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no, no, no, no, no, no. The people who are making the biggest strides on stopping their binge eating
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they're the heroes. They're doing the best work in the world. It's a metaphor for life
2:25
They're learning about their authentic selves. They're being true to their authentic self
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They're courageously exploring their fears. Instead of just taking a shortcut, But they're facing themselves
2:41
And that process of opening up, exploring your fears and uncertainties. There's a lot of uncertainty in binge eating
2:49
A lot of uncertainty when you give up dieting, when you give up some control, when you give up some, when you slow down in terms of weight loss
2:57
you go for a slower approach. There's so much fear there. and it takes tremendous courage, authenticity, clarity, and integrity of who you are
3:10
to do this process. And the process of learning how to not binge eat transforms your whole life
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That's why I say it's enlightenment. Like literally when you decide to tackle this whole
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binge eating thing, it is, uh, it's, it's a process that's going to shift every dimension
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of your life. Cause you don stop this thing this out of control eating this weird cycles this chaotic confusion You don stop that without dramatically reorienting how you relate to yourself how you love yourself
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And to be able to witness this transformation and to have someone and experience that transformation with someone
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it is ah it feels so good it feels so good like it is the essence of love i swear it is the essence
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of love and and during this process um something that's required of me personally is to
4:19
go into my own being and my own experiences and memories and state what needs to be said
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So let me go be a little more clear about this. If you do like this video, by the way, there's another one down below where I kind of talk about how to stop binge eating. Go ahead and
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like that or check out that video. Go ahead and like this video. Really, really appreciate any
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support you're able to give. But these, these two conversations I had with women over the past
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weekend. Um, you know, one, one was at the library and a woman came in and, um, like most
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uh, people, she was looking to lose weight and her thoughts about stopping binge eating were
5:04
primarily about weight loss. And I understand that I have compassion for that. And
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some of the way she would say things, we were talking about food and how to handle food. And
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I was asking her hypothetical questions like, what if, what if you let yourself eat some of
5:24
those foods? What would happen? And you know, her response being, yeah, but then I wouldn't lose
5:31
weight. And, and, and, and for me to then say, do you hear how you're saying, but then I won't lose
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weight. Do you hear the disconnection there? Did the tone of her voice, it was like, yeah, but then
5:50
I, then I wouldn't lose weight. It was disconnected. I'm not giving you the full story in the best way
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possible on this podcast, but I'll try to elaborate. We'd be talking about, okay, you're
6:01
connected to your body. You want some food. What happens if you want some food? Well, I can't have
6:07
it because then I wouldn't lose weight. So as this process of binge eating, as you overcome this
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you learn to trust your body. You learn to trust that, yes, you might eat some sugary foods that
6:21
you do desire. But if you let your desires be satisfied, you won't eat as much of those overall
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And you'll eat more nutritious foods and you'll take better care of yourself. And through this
6:33
process of listening to your body, taking care of yourself, you might shed a few pounds
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But that's easy to understand up here. When I'm actually asking like this woman
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you know, could you see yourself mindfully eating some ice cream? She said, no, because then I wouldn't
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lose weight. When I'm able to go into the depths of my experience and say, and call someone out
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gently, compassionately say, that's a disconnection moment right now. Do you hear how you're
7:05
disconnecting Do you hear how you are making decisions based on an ideal body image based on and a belief that you are not good enough the way you are and that you have to lose weight in order to become good enough
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Do you hear that? When you say, no, I can't eat blah, blah, blah, because then I wouldn't lose weight
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All the life in your voice goes away. Do you hear that? And she said, yeah, I do hear that
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And we kind of walked through this process again. okay, so you want some ice cream
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And let's say you mindfully let yourself eat ice cream. And you drop all these thoughts about weight loss
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So pretend that the ice cream has zero calories. You're able to eat this ice cream
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How do you feel? Guilty. She says, guilty. Says, okay. Why do you feel guilty
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Well, I shouldn't have eaten ice cream. Ice cream's a bad food
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And we talked about that. We talked about that. And we said, okay. So, you know, we started going through some more hypothetical scenarios and she was able to understand that when she labels food as good or bad, she avoids the bad food, goes towards the good food, but then the bad food develops, she develops cravings towards the bad food
8:21
And then she ends up eating it anyways. So we took away the guilt
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We said, what if you let yourself eat the ice cream guilt free
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Again, no calories. pretend after you eat it, it evaporates from your body. So you're just eating like air almost
8:39
that tastes like ice cream tastes like the best ice cream ever. What would you feel in your body
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after you eat the ice cream? She said, I'd feel happy that I ate the ice cream
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Yeah, you'd feel happy. And then, and then pretend it was real ice cream
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And how do you think your body would feel an hour after you ate real ice cream? She said
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I don't know. I said, well, what do you think about when you normally eat like something
9:07
a lot of sugary food or whatever? You think your body would like that after time? You think your body would get tired or energized? She said, yeah, I'd probably get tired. And then it started
9:15
clicking for her. She said, oh, if I open my eyes, if I am clear, if I'm free of judgment
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I'm listening, I'm connected to my body. I let myself eat ice cream. I let myself notice what
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ice cream tastes like in my body, and I just notice without any guilt, without any shame
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that ice cream doesn't make me feel good, then I probably won't want it next time. I'll want
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something else. And that process of then her saying, wow, I can listen to my body
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I can trust my body. And seeing how she started connecting the dots. If I can trust my body
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I can probably become more confident if I can trust my body I can love myself
10:01
if I can become more confident and I can love myself I won't be as afraid of rejection
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I can probably go out there and apply to more jobs and not get so heartbroken after I get rejected
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or worry so much about dating or worry what people think I'll be able to live my life
10:18
and that process just hearing her realized that she could have a better life, a truly better life, not a better life
10:33
but become a better person, you know, become a lighter being like that rubs off on me
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That gives me so much freaking happiness And you know that the reason why I like helping people to not binge eat It literally a process of enlightenment It sounds crazy Like not binge eating is a process of enlightenment
10:59
Yes. It is a gateway to enlightenment. 100%. So, I hope you enjoy the video
11:09
Leave a thumbs up. The exercise for today. I try to end every podcast these days with an exercise or a practical tip, something that you can leave a comment or shoot me an email for
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This one is a less scripted video. I'm just talking on the fly. So I'm also trying to come up with an exercise on the fly
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Something that's, I got something. And I'll just share a little context and backstory first
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something that I've been working on for the past few years through different forms of therapy and
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coaching and, and, and, uh, healing experiences, my own personal growth, noticing what brings me
11:48
light, noticing what makes me feel good. Like right here talking about this right now, I'm
11:53
I'm feeling good. I'm feeling light. I'm feeling like I'm laughing a lot. I like talking about this
12:01
You know, this is just coming up for me in the moment. But, you know, feeling light
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What makes you feel light? And second part of this exercise, can you start noticing what foods make you feel light
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This is tough. This is a tough one right here. You need to approach food without any judgment
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It's a tough, tough one. Like, for example, if you don't let yourself have ice cream, then you're cutting your ability to feel your body, right
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Let's say you really want ice cream and you say, no, you can't have ice cream. When you cut that feeling off, that desire for ice cream, you also cut the ability off to be joyful around food
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This is the same struggles I've had for years with marijuana. I can numb pain, but then I also numb joy
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And joy and light and ease, these are the key indicators, and I mean emotional indicators
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These are the emotional indicators of how we should live our life. What actions make us feel like? What foods make us feel like
13:09
If we cut off the pain, if we numb ourselves with food, if we prevent ourselves from eating what we don't want to eat
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we can't pay attention to what makes us feel good. so um so as i state this question i'm also realizing that part of it is letting yourself
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try to try to have some foods like don't worry about getting a ton of ice cream right don't
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worry about getting the gallon of ice cream and eating all that ice cream don't worry about that
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just maybe have a little bit instead of saying no no ice cream say a little bit
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notice what it makes it feel like maybe you get really excited notice the whole process the eating
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process how it feels in your stomach how you feel an hour after and notice what it feels like
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notice does it make you feel light because maybe it does maybe ice cream does i've talked to people
13:59
who after uh there's an interview uh where she now eats ice cream a little bit not even a little
14:07
bit like she eats ice cream every night because it makes her feel better and she's eats in a
14:13
moderation. And it's okay. There's not that fear there. There's not that restriction. And there's
14:19
a lot more joy in her life because she's listening to what she wants. So listen to what you want
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Let me know what you find. Have a good one. Peace
#Weight Loss
#Health Conditions
#Eating Disorders
#Mental Health
#Self-Help & Motivational