Up next in 10
Listen up, beautiful disasters and self-improvement enthusiasts. This week, we're diving deep into Brianna Wiest's "The Mountain Is You, " a book that is a loving yet brutally honest intervention for anyone who's ever gotten in their own way.
Imagine if your most perceptive therapist and that brutally honest friend who always tells you exactly what you need to hear had a literary baby. That's this book. We're unpacking the wild world of self-sabotage, those sneaky psychological defense mechanisms that convince you that staying stuck is somehow safer than growing.
Spoiler alert: It's not.
We'll explore how the mountain you're climbing is actually you — your unresolved traumas, your deeply ingrained patterns, and all those spectacular ways you've learned to protect yourself from change. Sounds fun, right? (It's not. But also, it absolutely is.)
Prepare for:
Consider this your permission slip to get messily, beautifully human. We're not here for toxic positivity — we're here for real, transformative growth.
Bring tissues, a sense of humor, and maybe a stiff drink.
~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~
Book Summary – Secrets of the Millionaire Mind
https://creativeaspirant.com/secrets-of-the-millionaire-mind-summary-t-harv-eker/
The Mountain Is You Summary (Brianna Wiest)
https://creativeaspirant.com/the-mountain-is-you-summary-brianna-wiest/
Show More Show Less View Video Transcript
0:00
welcome back everyone to another deep
0:01
dive you know uh today we're going to be
0:04
tackling something that I think everyone
0:06
listening um can relate to and that is
0:09
self- sabotage you know if you ever felt
0:11
like you are Your Own Worst Enemy like
0:13
you're ready to climb to the top of the
0:15
mountain to reach your goals but
0:17
something's holding you back well that's
0:19
what we're going to be talking about
0:20
today we're going to be diving deep into
0:22
Brana Weiss's book the mountain is you
0:25
to understand this feeling a little bit
0:26
better yeah you know it's it really
0:28
fascinating how this book
0:30
kind of reframes the idea of
0:32
self-sabotage it's not about this like
0:34
self-hate it's more about this um
0:37
misguided attempt at self- protection
0:39
yeah I totally agree that was something
0:40
that really drew me to this book as well
0:42
so instead of thinking of ourselves as
0:44
like inherently flawed we have to
0:46
understand where these self-sabotaging
0:47
behaviors actually come from whis uses a
0:50
really interesting example uh in the
0:51
book she talks about someone who
0:53
sabotages their relationships even
0:55
though they so desperately crave
0:56
connection it's like they're terrified
0:58
of being alone but they're even more
0:59
afraid of what true intimacy might
1:01
demand of them right it's a perfect
1:03
illustration of how our past experiences
1:05
can really you know whe whether it's
1:07
past hurt or rejection create these
1:09
unconscious patterns it's like our brain
1:11
is trying to protect us it's trying to
1:12
protect us from reliving those painful
1:14
experiences even if it means kind of
1:16
staying stuck where we are okay so that
1:18
makes sense but how do we actually break
1:20
free from these patterns especially if
1:22
they're unconscious it feels a bit like
1:24
trying to navigate a maze in the dark
1:26
where Weist argues that the first step
1:28
is really confronting to denial often
1:31
times we're in denial about the role
1:33
that we actually play in our own
1:35
struggles yeah you know we blame
1:36
external factors other people or just
1:38
plain bad luck yeah instead of
1:40
acknowledging our own choices and
1:41
behaviors yeah I'll admit I've
1:43
definitely spent some time in that blame
1:44
game before but if owning our choices is
1:47
that first step what comes next how do
1:49
we actually start climbing this mountain
1:51
of self-sabotage that's where whis's
1:53
concept of resistance comes in have you
1:55
ever noticed that feeling of tension or
1:58
anxiety that Creeps in when you're
2:00
trying to step outside of your comfort
2:02
zone maybe you suddenly feel this urge
2:04
to clean your entire house instead of
2:07
finishing that important project oh
2:08
absolutely for me it's suddenly deciding
2:10
to reorganize my entire sock drawer when
2:12
I have a deadline looming it's like my
2:14
brain just goes into overdrive to find
2:16
anything other than the task at hand
2:18
exactly but instead of seeing it as
2:20
laziness or procrastination whis supp
2:22
wants us to understand resistance has
2:24
this like natural psychological response
2:26
it's our brain's way of trying to
2:28
protect us from the unknown from the
2:30
potential discomfort or failure so how
2:32
do we work with this resistance instead
2:34
of letting it win I'm guessing ignoring
2:36
it doesn't usually work you're right
2:38
ignoring it can actually make it
2:40
stronger why is suggest a three-step
2:43
approach first acknowledge the
2:45
resistance without judgment you know
2:47
it's okay to feel it it's a natural part
2:49
of the process second try to identify
2:52
the underlying fear or concern what's
2:54
the worst that could happen if I succeed
2:57
and third break down the task into
2:59
smaller more manageable steps you know
3:01
even small steps forward are still
3:03
progress that makes a lot of sense it's
3:05
less about trying to conquer the whole
3:06
mountain in one go and more about
3:08
finding a sustainable path forward but
3:11
what about those kind of pesky negative
3:13
emotions that often come along with
3:15
self-sabotage W actually has a really
3:17
interesting take on those right she does
3:19
instead of seeing negative emotions as
3:21
obstacles WHAS actually reframes them as
3:23
valuable guides she emphasizes the
3:26
importance of emotional
3:28
intelligence which is the ability to
3:30
understand and interpret your emotions
3:32
not just react to them so instead of
3:34
trying to push those feelings away we
3:36
should be trying to understand what
3:37
they're telling us exactly for example
3:40
anger can signal that a boundary has
3:41
been crossed or that a need isn't being
3:43
met sadness can help us process loss and
3:46
let go of what's no longer serving us
3:49
even guilt which is often seen as a
3:51
negative emotion can point to untapped
3:54
potential or areas where we need to make
3:56
amends that's a really powerful shift
3:59
and perspective persective it's like
4:00
instead of being the enemy our emotions
4:02
can become allies on this journey but
4:05
there's another piece to this puzzle
4:06
that I find fascinating the role of our
4:09
brains in all of this wnis dives into
4:11
some pretty interesting Neuroscience
4:13
right she does and she introduces this
4:15
concept that I think helps explain why
4:18
even when we consciously want to change
4:20
our brains sometimes seem to work
4:22
against us it's called the homeostatic
4:24
impulse okay that sounds a bit
4:26
intimidating can you break that down for
4:27
us yeah so think of it like this your
4:29
brain is like a thermostat but instead
4:32
of just regulating your body temperature
4:34
it also tries to regulate your mental
4:35
and emotional states it wants to keep
4:37
you within a certain range of comfort
4:39
even if that comfort zone isn't actually
4:41
serving you so it's like our brains are
4:43
trying to keep us at base camp even when
4:45
we're yearning to climb higher it can
4:47
certainly feel that way and that's why
4:49
self-sabotage comes in even positive
4:51
changes like starting a new relationship
4:53
or going after a dream job can trigger
4:56
discomfort and our brains seeking
4:58
stability might try to pull us back to
5:00
familiar even if unhealthy patterns wow
5:03
it's like we have this internal tug-of
5:05
war going on but understanding this
5:07
homeostatic impulse seems crucial if we
5:09
want to move forward right absolutely
5:11
recognizing these impulses is natural
5:13
and not signs of personal failure is a
5:15
crucial step it's about working with our
5:17
brains not against them as we navigate
5:19
this challenging terrain of personal
5:21
growth so we've started to map out the
5:23
landscape of self-sabotage we've seen
5:25
how it can stem from a desire for self-
5:27
protection how it can manifest as resist
5:30
how our emotions can guide us and how
5:32
our brains can sometimes hold us back
5:35
but this is just the beginning of our
5:36
journey right indeed there's much more
5:38
to explore including whis's insights on
5:41
how to release the past and create a new
5:42
future but that's a conversation for our
5:44
next climb so we talked about how our
5:46
brains and emotions and even our past
5:49
experiences can contribute to
5:51
self-sabotage but what about the role of
5:53
the past itself how do we move forward
5:56
if we're constantly like tripping over
5:57
old baggage we has some pretty
6:00
insightful thoughts On Letting Go which
6:02
I think we all need to hear yeah
6:04
absolutely this is where the book The
6:05
Mountain is you gets really interesting
6:07
wus challenges the common advice to just
6:10
let go of the past she argues that when
6:13
we try to force ourselves to let go we
6:16
often end up holding on even tighter
6:18
have you ever experienced that oh
6:19
totally it's like the more I try to bury
6:21
a thought or feeling the more it seems
6:23
to haunt me it's almost as if the act of
6:25
suppression gives it more power exactly
6:28
and when offers a different approach she
6:30
suggests that instead of trying to
6:32
suppress or deny those difficult
6:33
emotions from the past we should
6:35
actually allow ourselves to fully feel
6:37
them so it's not about ignoring the past
6:39
but leaning into it I have to admit that
6:40
sounds a bit counterintuitive it might
6:42
seem that way at first but think about
6:44
it when we try to push away those
6:47
painful memories or emotions they don't
6:49
just disappear they often Fester beneath
6:51
the surface influencing our thoughts and
6:54
behaviors in ways we might not even
6:56
realize it's like trying to hold a beach
6:57
ball underwater you can push it down in
6:59
one spot but it'll just pop up somewhere
7:01
else that's a great analogy yeah but
7:03
when we allow ourselves to feel those
7:04
emotions fully to really experience them
7:07
without judgment we create the space for
7:10
genuine release okay so how do we
7:12
actually do this do we just sit down and
7:14
force ourselves to relive every
7:16
embarrassing or painful moment from our
7:18
past I'm not sure I'm ready for that
7:20
kind of emotional marathon it's not
7:22
about deliberately re-traumatizing
7:24
yourself why is suggest a more gentle
7:26
approach imagine you're creating a safe
7:28
space for exploration ation find a quiet
7:31
place where you feel comfortable maybe
7:33
put on some calming music and gently
7:35
bring to mind a specific memory or
7:37
experience that's still causing you pain
7:40
okay so I'm recalling the memory then
7:42
simply observe the emotions that arise
7:45
sadness anger regret whatever it may be
7:50
without getting swept away by them
7:52
notice where you feel those emotions in
7:54
your body tightness in your chest and
7:56
not in your stomach just acknowledge
7:58
their presence without resisting
8:00
so it's more about witnessing the
8:01
emotions rather than getting lost in the
8:03
story all over again yes it's about
8:05
creating a sense of Detachment while
8:08
still allowing yourself to feel and as
8:10
you do this imagine your present wiser
8:13
self offering comfort and support to
8:15
your past self recognize that you've
8:17
grown and learned from those experiences
8:19
and you're no longer that same person I
8:21
really like that imagery of offering
8:23
Comfort to your past self it's like
8:24
reaching back through time and giving
8:26
yourself a hug but let's say we've done
8:28
the work of releasing the past what
8:29
happens next how do we start building a
8:31
new future one that's not weighed down
8:33
by old patterns and beliefs that's where
8:35
whis introduces some really empowering
8:37
Concepts yeah and one of them is inner
8:39
child work I know that term can sound a
8:41
bit well out there for some people but
8:43
it's actually a very practical and
8:45
Powerful approach to be honest I've
8:47
always been a bit curious about inner
8:48
child work but I wasn't sure what it
8:51
actually entailed it sounded a bit too
8:54
uh mystical for me it's not about
8:56
literally talking to a tiny version of
8:58
yourself think of it as acknowledging
9:00
that we all carry within us these
9:02
younger versions of ourselves shaped by
9:05
our past experiences and sometimes those
9:07
inner children are still carrying pain
9:09
fear and limiting beliefs they can hold
9:12
us back in the present so inner child
9:14
work is about healing those past wounds
9:17
and giving our younger selves the love
9:18
and support they may not have received
9:20
exactly and there are a lot of ways to
9:22
do this you can try journaling
9:23
visualization exercises or even just
9:26
talking to your inner child in your mind
9:27
it's about offering compassion
9:29
understanding and reassurance imagine
9:31
what you would say to a younger version
9:32
of yourself who's struggling that's such
9:34
a powerful concept I'm starting to see
9:36
how this could be incredibly healing but
9:38
what about actually building a new
9:40
future how do we move from releasing the
9:42
past to creating a life that we truly
9:44
desire whist introduces another powerful
9:47
technique for this and it involves
9:49
connecting with what she calls our
9:51
Highest Potential future selves okay
9:54
that one sounds a bit more uh wooo are
9:57
we talking time travel here not quite
9:59
it's about using visualization to
10:01
connect with the version of ourselves
10:03
who has already achieved our goals who
10:05
is living the life we desire think of it
10:08
as a mental dress rehearsal for your
10:10
dream life I like that so I'm picturing
10:12
myself 5 10 20 years down the road
10:15
having achieve everything I've set out
10:17
to do what's next really immerse
10:20
yourself in this Vision what does your
10:21
life look like what have you
10:22
accomplished how do you feel don't just
10:24
create a picture in your mind try to
10:26
feel the emotions the sense of
10:28
accomplishment the Freedom that comes
10:31
with achieving your dreams this is
10:32
making me think about those vision
10:34
boards people create is it a similar
10:36
concept there are definitely some
10:37
similarities but with this technique the
10:40
focus is on embodying the emotions and
10:42
sensations of your future self rather
10:45
than just creating a visual
10:47
representation of your goals it's about
10:49
feeling the joy the Fulfillment the
10:51
sense of purpose that comes with living
10:54
in alignment with your Highest Potential
10:56
so it's like giving yourself a taste of
10:57
the summit which can make the climbs
10:59
seem a lot less daunting exactly and
11:01
this brings us to another crucial aspect
11:03
that winest highlights the impact of
11:06
trauma not just on our minds and
11:07
emotions but also on our physical
11:10
well-being that's something I've
11:11
definitely experienced when I'm stressed
11:13
or anxious it often manifests physically
11:15
headaches tense muscles even digestive
11:18
issues it's like my body is trying to
11:20
tell me something's not right that's a
11:22
really important observation Wiest
11:24
emphasizes that trauma isn't just a
11:25
psychological experience it's stored in
11:28
the body and it can manifest in a
11:30
variety of physical ways from those
11:32
everyday aches and pains to more chronic
11:35
conditions so these physical symptoms
11:36
could be like warning signals letting us
11:38
know that there's some unhealed trauma
11:40
we need to address it's certainly a
11:42
possibility worth exploring and this is
11:44
where approaches that Focus On Healing
11:46
trauma stored in the body such as
11:48
somatic experiencing could be incredibly
11:51
valuable this is really starting to
11:52
paint a more holistic picture it's like
11:55
we're understanding not just the mental
11:57
and emotional landscape of self-sabotage
11:59
but also its physical impact exactly and
12:03
this holistic understanding is essential
12:05
for creating lasting change we need to
12:08
address those wounds on all levels
12:11
mental emotional and physical I'm really
12:13
starting to see the connections here
12:14
it's like we're not just trying to
12:15
conquer a mountain but rather learning
12:18
to become expert climbers equipped with
12:20
the right tools and techniques to
12:22
navigate even the most challenging
12:24
terrain that's a great way to put it and
12:26
remember the Journey of self-discovery
12:27
and growth is ongoing there will always
12:29
be new mountains to climb new challenges
12:31
to face but the skills and insights we
12:33
gain along the way make us more
12:35
resilient more adaptable and more
12:38
capable of reaching our full potential
12:40
it's interesting you know as we've been
12:41
talking about letting go of the past and
12:44
building a new future it really strikes
12:46
me that there's an important piece we
12:47
haven't fully explored and that's the
12:49
connection between our minds and our
12:51
bodies you know it's something we hear
12:52
about a lot in general sense but whis
12:55
really gets into the specifics in a way
12:56
that I found fascinating and really
12:58
practical oh absolutely and she really
13:00
emphasizes how trauma in particular can
13:04
have a lasting impact on the body we
13:06
tend to think of trauma as this purely
13:08
psychological experience yeah but you
13:11
know it can show up in so many physical
13:12
ways yeah that makes a lot of sense to
13:14
me I mean we've all experienced that
13:16
like feeling of butterflies in our
13:17
stomach when we're nervous or you know
13:20
erasing heart when we're scared it's
13:21
like our bodies have their own language
13:23
for expressing you know what's going on
13:26
inside exactly those are kind of
13:27
everyday examples but we just points out
13:29
that more severe or prolonged trauma can
13:33
lead to more chronic physical symptoms
13:36
things like muscle tension digestive
13:38
issues you know difficulty sleeping even
13:40
chronic pain wow so those physical
13:43
symptoms could actually be like warning
13:44
signals letting us know that there's
13:46
some unhealed trauma we need to address
13:49
it's definitely a possibility worth
13:50
exploring it's like our bodies are
13:52
trying to communicate with us MH to tell
13:55
us you know there's something deeper
13:56
that needs healing okay so let's say we
13:59
starting to notice those signals those
14:00
kind of physical manifestations of our
14:02
past experiences what can we actually do
14:05
about it does West offer any guidance on
14:07
how to address those physical symptoms
14:10
she does she emphasizes the importance
14:12
of finding safe supportive ways to
14:15
process and release the trauma that's
14:17
stored in the body so we're talking
14:18
about more than just top therapy here
14:21
Are there specific techniques or
14:22
practices that she recommends she
14:24
mentions a variety of approaches
14:25
including sematic experiencing which
14:28
focuses specifically on releasing Trauma
14:30
from the body she also talks about the
14:32
benefits of things like yoga and
14:34
mindfulness practices and even body work
14:36
like massage or acupuncture so it's
14:39
about finding what works for each
14:40
individual what resonates with their own
14:42
body and their own healing Journey
14:44
exactly there's no one size fits-all
14:46
solution when it comes to Healing it's
14:48
about exploring different modalities and
14:49
finding what helps you feel safe
14:52
grounded and connected to your body this
14:54
is all so empowering it's like we're not
14:56
just at the mercy of our past
14:58
experiences or our current symptoms we
15:01
have agency we have choices and we have
15:03
resources available to help us heal and
15:06
move forward that's the beauty of it and
15:08
remember healing is a journey not a
15:09
destination it's about taking those
15:11
small consistent steps toward greater
15:14
well-being both physically and
15:16
emotionally I love that it's about
15:18
progress not Perfection well I think
15:20
we've explored so much in this deep dive
15:22
from the hidden roots of self- sabotage
15:24
to the power of emotional intelligence
15:27
to the importance of honoring that Mind
15:29
Body Connection it's been a really
15:30
insightful Journey it has and as always
15:32
we encourage you to continue exploring
15:34
these Concepts delve deeper into the
15:36
resources that are mentioned in the
15:37
mountain is you and keep going on your
15:39
own personal journey of self-discovery
15:41
and growth and remember even when the
15:43
mountains seem daunting you have the
15:46
strength and resilience within you to
15:47
reach the summit every step you take
15:50
every challenge you overcome brings you
15:51
closer to the life you desire and the
15:53
person you're meant to become keep
15:55
climbing keep exploring and keep
15:57
believing in your own incredible
15:59
potential we'll see you on our next deep
16:01
dive
#Books & Literature
#Mental Health
#Self-Help & Motivational
#Self-Harm