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6 Months: The Shocking Truth About Relationship Failures
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Nov 27, 2023
In this video, I'm going to share with you the shocking truth about why most relationships fail so quickly. I'll reveal the reasons why relationships tend to end so quickly and the analysis of failed relationships. We all think we know why relationships end, but the truth is most people have no idea but this can really affect them long term. Relationships are complicated, and there are many factors that contribute to their dissolution. In this video, we're going to explore some of the reasons relationships end in 6 months, and how you can prevent them from happening in the first place. Watch and learn, and be prepared to make some changes in your relationship lifestyle! If you're looking to understand why your relationships tend to fail, then this video is for you. I'll discuss the reasons behind failed relationships and help you understand the dynamics behind them. By the end of this video, you'll have a better understanding of why relationships tend to fail and what you can do to prevent it from happening to you! SUBSCRIBE and Check out our website: https://www.aconsciousrethink.com/ 💌 Get 69 GOLDEN relationship tips to your inbox now - https://www.aconsciousrethink.com/69-relationship-tips/ 🍿WATCH NEXT: • True Confidence & F*ck Your Feelings: https://youtu.be/j5_g4tTwDEw • Ignoring This WRECKS your Self Esteem and Confidence: https://youtu.be/AyhHFYLFIbU • Do This ONE THING and Enhance Your Dating Success: https://youtu.be/IACY2kBXXZs • The Brutal Truth: Why Modern Dating Fails Today!: https://youtu.be/nxWkd4yPrF4 • 99% Of People Fail To Achieve A Healthy Relationship: https://youtu.be/JcY-EsAd5kw
View Video Transcript
0:00
Today, we find ourselves grappling with a psychological conundrum that echoes throughout the entire human experience
0:08
the sense of irrevocable failure and existential despair that descends upon us when we find that our relationships
0:17
literally disintegrate repeatedly at roughly the same temporal milestone, such as six months, for instance
0:25
Now, imagine you're in a relationship, and just when you think your final game
0:29
some ground around the six months mark, perhaps you find that rug is being pulled out from
0:36
underneath your feet. Again, once again, another relationship. Now, why would this happen
0:43
A lot of people probably ask this quite often. It's not as if you haven't tried. Nevertheless
0:49
here you stand or perhaps more appropriately, here you falter facing the same tragic end as you
0:56
have in the past. This isn't just about failing a relationship. It's about questioning the very essence of who you are and what you're capable of in a sphere of human connection
1:08
It's as if you're Sisyphus condemned to roll the boulder of emotional aspirations up the hill
1:15
only to see it tumble back down when you're almost at the summit
1:20
It would be a grave mistake not to mention intellectually lazy to dismiss this as a mere coincidence
1:29
or even worse as a trivial concern. Recurring situations beg us to interrogate the underlying structures
1:35
the invisible stereotypes and archetypes and psychological mechanisms that may be at play here
1:42
Do you find yourself wrestling with an internal monologue that is incessant and accusatory
1:48
asking you whether you're destined to be alone, whether you're fundamentally unlovable
1:53
and whether you're broken in a way that precludes the longevity, of intimate relationships. Well, you're not alone in this. This is a question not just of romance
2:06
but of existential significance, for what are we as human beings if not social creatures that
2:14
strive for connection? You are here because you're searching for answers. You're part of a multitude
2:21
both men and women perhaps, who find themselves teetering on the precipice of self-doubt and existential
2:28
dread due to these repeated relational failures. And so together let's delve into this labyrinth of
2:36
human psyche to understand why this happens and to discover hopefully how one might emerge from
2:43
this chasm, not defeated, but enlightened or even renewed. So let's discuss something of personal
2:50
and even universal relevance. Now one might be tempted, especially in moments of profound
2:57
introspection and self-doubt. To regard this recurring relationship disintegration as a deeply
3:03
personal failing, a mark of cane that singles them out in the ocean of successful lovers. Such a
3:11
notion while emotional or visceral is a distortion of the much broader picture. At least in my mind
3:18
we live in a world that celebrates the extraordinary, the exemplary and the enduring. Just take a moment
3:24
and then think back at the narratives that you've been fed since your childhood
3:28
Romeo and Juliet, Tristan and Isold. Even the stories of everlasting love like that of Odysseus and Penelope
3:35
These tales, though diverse in their themes, all carry an implicit message
3:41
Love to be worthy must be eternal, unwavering. But does that make every fleeting relationship or unenduring connection a tale of woe
3:52
Are these not just as human? or just as real. Now look beyond the self
3:56
Consider your friends, your family, or perhaps even your, even strangers that you've had an opportunity to converse with
4:05
at depth, let's say. How many times have you heard echoes of your own doubts and questions in their own stories
4:14
How often have you had that familiar glint of uncertain in their eyes mirroring your own trepidations
4:21
This isn't merely an individual quandary, isolated in its occurrence. It's shared human experience, a phenomenon that bridges cultures
4:31
geographies and time. Both men and women, regardless of their backgrounds, find themselves ensnared in this
4:37
web of self-doubt and introspection after recurrent relational terminations, whether planned or unplanned
4:46
The truth is our journey through the terrain of love and human connection is paved with the
4:53
with the tales of countless individuals who've been where you are, asking the same questions, feeling the same void
5:01
It's a testament to the fact that this feeling of existential disconnect
5:05
after relationship breakdown is not just personal. It's quite literally universal. For in shared experience lies shared understanding
5:16
a collective wisdom that can illuminate our path forward So as we unravel this intricate issue remember you not navigating the stretcher terrain alone
5:30
The echoes of many are with you in silent solidarity. So psychological landscape of failed relationships
5:39
This is the first thing that we have to talk about. So let's discuss the human psyche and the attachments
5:46
To understand the intricacies of why relationships reach a cul-de-sac at specific intervals
5:53
we must first turn our gaze towards the complexities of human mind and its tendencies
6:01
towards attachment. Carl Jung, the eminent Swiss psychiatrist, you probably heard of him, the psychoyst
6:10
posited that human psyche is not a monolithic entity, but a complex amalgamation
6:16
of archetypes and collective unconsciousness. In the Young's framework, relationships are not mere social constructs
6:25
They're encounters with others, you know, that serve to reflect and project aspects of our own unconscious minds
6:36
But it's not just Young who provides some kind of insight into this fear
6:40
Consider the attachment theory by John Baudley and further developed by Mary Ainsworth
6:45
their work posits there are attachment styles secure anxious avoidant are imprinted our psyches from infancy
6:55
these styles like invisible puppeteers often dictate the dynamics of our adult relationships you know secure
7:02
attachments may lead to relationships that are characterized by trust and and longevity whereas anxious
7:08
and avoidant attachments can result in a oscillation of intimacy and distance pulling people apart just
7:15
when they appear to be getting along. So why are relationships so important
7:21
Well, it's simple, yet deeply profound. The relationships that we experience the full gamut of human emotions
7:30
such as joy, sorrow, anger, passion, and in doing so, learn more about our own complex inner world
7:38
They are in many ways the crucible in which our personality and character are refinement
7:45
and understood. This is why we have to discuss the archetype of failed relationships
7:50
Because when we venture into the realm of literature, history and religious texts
7:55
we find that the archetype of the failed relationship is far from a modern anomaly, as you
8:02
would assume. All of the Greek tragedies, you know, Oedipus, biblical story of Samson and Delilah
8:09
or even Shakespearean tales of Othelot, they all present us with the intricate canvases of
8:15
relationships that have gone every. These stories, while tragic, served to illustrate a
8:20
perennial truth, the vulnerability and fragility of human relationships. That is the truth. These
8:28
archetypal stories reveal a much more profound narrative script. They point to recurring patterns
8:35
and themes that resonate across time and culture. You know, themes of betrayal, of unrealized dreams
8:43
of tragic flaws that leads to relational dissolution. In a sense, our failures are not unique
8:51
but are part of universal human story, you know, a tapestry of experiences
8:57
that inform our collective unconscious. Well, let's bring this down to a more quantifiable frame
9:05
Why six months? You know, why does it prove to be the crucible of relationships
9:12
Well, biologically speaking, the initial stages of relationships are often fueled by a cocktail of neurotransmitters like dopamine and oxytocin, the chemicals of love and bonding
9:25
However, as we approach the six months milestone, this honeymoon phase begins to wane
9:31
The brain's reward system becomes less activated by the presence of your partner and the stark realities of everyday life
9:40
they just start to set in. Additionally, this is also the time when the superficiality of
9:46
initial attraction must give way to deeper emotional bonds if the relationship is to continue
9:54
It's as if nature herself has set some kind of biological clock that forces us to
10:00
confront the fundamental questions of compatibility, shared values and long-term objectives. At six months, you find yourself at a crossroads, one that leads to either deeper commitment
10:14
or unavoidable dissolution of your relationship. So there we are, armed with the theories of young and the insides of attachment theory
10:23
enlightened by the archetypes of historical narratives and informed by our own biology, by the clock
10:30
inside us. Now, it's a complex interplay of psychology, biology, and narrative, one that we might
10:37
navigate if we are to find our way through this labyrinth of human connection which is why we coming to the next part which is the crisis of the self
10:49
First thing that we have to do is interrogate the self. Once a relationship breaks down, particularly when it follows a pattern
10:57
you're quite literally thrust into a vortex of self-interrogation. You begin to question not just the circumstances that led to the discerpts
11:07
solution of the specific relationship by the very constitution of your own being
11:14
Picture yourself staring into the abyss of your own reflection, pondering the implications
11:19
of yet another relationship that has gone undone. In your mind's eye, you see a parade of past
11:27
connections that arrived at the same destination, separation, disappointment, and breaking of ties
11:34
So let's take a hypothetical scenario. You're John. 30-year-old man who has seen multiple relationships and around six months mark they all
11:45
break down you're just been through another breakup the feeling isn't just one of
11:49
sorrow but of a profound crisis you're questioning your capability to maintain a loving
11:56
a relationship is that you is there a flaw so deeply embedded within your
12:04
psyche that it corrupts any attempt at long-term connection. You know, these are the dreaded questions that we have to ask
12:12
Am I even capable of sustaining a long-term relationship? Will I be alone forever
12:17
An island in a sea of human connection. They tap into the primal fear of loneliness, inediquacy
12:24
and the terrifying possibility that you might be fundamentally unlovable. It's a pretty terrible idea, isn't it
12:33
Our minds are complex landscapes, lay them with cognitive traps that can derail even the most rational thought process
12:40
You know, cognitive behavioral theory, for instance, sheds light on how cognitive distortions
12:46
can contribute to emotional spirals. You might engage in all or nothing thinking, viewing the end of another relationship as
12:55
categorical proof of your own incapability to maintain one. Or perhaps you fall into the trap of catastrophizing
13:05
you know, envisioning a lifetime of solitude based on a series of relationship disappointments
13:11
And let's not forget the pernicious reality of self-sabotage. This is very common
13:17
Your beliefs of your own inadequacies can lead to self-fulfilling prophecies. You know, convinced that you are destined to ruin any long-term relationship
13:27
you might unknowingly behave in ways that bring about that very outcome
13:33
In this way, your internal network, polluted by cognitive biases become external realities that actually come true
13:41
The crisis of the self following the failed relationship is not just an emotional thermal
13:47
It's an existential quagmire, intensified by cognitive biases that often distort our own perspectives
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However, understanding the psychological mechanisms at play can actually offer not just solace
14:03
but also a roadmap to navigate this tumultuous terrain. You know, it's akin to being lost in the dark forest
14:11
The theories and the insights that we have discussed are like the compass and a torch
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helping us to find a way back to clear understanding of ourselves
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and our place in the intricate web of human relationships. So what is the way forward
14:30
You know, there's a personal responsibility and change that we have to consider
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Charting a path forward for our throws of relationship dissolutions first require a recalibration of our own sense of responsibility
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Now, there's a balance to strike here. On one hand, it's essential to acknowledge where one might have faltered
14:57
perhaps a pattern of avoidance or unwillingness to communicate. vulnerability or even the recurrent trait that plays a role in relationship dissolution
15:07
Recognizing this pattern isn't an exercise in self-flagellation by a starting point for genuine introspection and growth
15:16
I think it's Jordan Peterson who often uses a metaphor of clean your room
15:24
which is a call to start by putting your immediate environment. environment, i
15:30
Your personal life in order. It's the embodiment of the principle of taking responsibility for your own life
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Before seeking to rectify the vast complexities of the world or your relationships
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begin by setting your own house in order. So in the context of relationship, this means to actively address personal flaws
15:51
you know, ensuring that you are in mental and emotional space that can cultivate and
15:59
nourish genuine connections Just beware there There a danger of overcorrection You know a word of caution is in order
16:09
As humans, we often swing like pendulums from one extreme to another
16:16
You probably know either by yourself or you know somebody like that. A series of failed relationships can quite literally spur a reaction so strong that one might
16:25
strive to strive for change that leads to some opposite end on the spectrum, you know
16:32
resulting in overcorrection. And that's obviously not good. For instance, somebody who's been
16:38
too distant might suddenly become overwhelmingly clingy or vice versa. It's imperative to find
16:47
some kind of balance. Evolve and refine your approach without jeopardizing the core essence of
16:54
of who you are. There are ways to foster genuine connections, actually
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Now, moving forward, this means integrating strategies and principles that bolster genuine connections
17:05
A wealth of psychological research actually points to certain fundamental tenets, such as effective communication
17:12
You've probably heard of this. Understand that each individual comes with their own set of beliefs, emotions, and past experiences
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You know, by actively listening and actually expressing yourself transparently, you lay some kind of foundation for mutual understanding
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You know, communication isn't just about talking. It's also about listening and listening with empathy
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Next one would be emotional intelligence. This is always a good start
17:43
Cultivate the ability to recognize, understand, manage your own emotions while also being attuned to the emotion
17:52
of your partner. It's not difficult. Shared experiences will be next one on the list. Try and engage
17:59
in activities and experiences that both of you find fulfilling. You know, from hobbies to shared goals
18:06
all of these act as pillars supporting your relationship. And the last one, maybe continuous learning
18:14
Just as you'd invest time in professional growth, invest some time in understanding your relationship
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you know, read, attend, do workshops, see counseling, whatever you need, just try and grow and grow together
18:28
You know, the journey from relationship despair to hopeful progression is a winding path
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laden with introspection, understanding and proactive change. But equipped with the right mindset tools and insights, one can not only navigate this journey
18:46
but also find deeper, more meaningful connection, that stands the test of time. Remember, the goal isn't just to have a relationship that lasts
18:56
but one that is that enriches, uplifts, and adds some kind of profound depth to the tapestry of
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your life. In every great narrative, be it in an epic, a novel, or your own life, the protagonist
19:11
must undergo a hero's journey. This is the term that was first coined by Joseph Campbell to
19:16
describe the universal narrative arc that underpinned stories across time and culture. It doesn't
19:21
matter what culture. This journey often begins with a crisis or challenge, meanders through trials
19:26
and revelations, and culminates in a return, richer in understanding and wisdom. You know
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your struggle with relationships framed within this narrative isn't a pointless travail by a crucial
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part of your own hero's journey. You are confronting dragons, metaphorical ones
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of course, that embody your fears, insecurities and complexities of your own life
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You know, in facing them, in wrestling with them, you are not merely seeking a stable
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relationship, you are participating in the deep transformative work that leads to some
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self-awareness and ultimately your own personal growth. And so my call to action for you today is not going to be to subscribe or to like or comment
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It's going to be simple yet daunting. confront your emotional realities with honesty and courage
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Take the tools and insights that we have discussed here today and will them in your search for some meaningful and enduring lasting relationships
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Yes, the path is fraught with uncertainty. The future is foggy, full of questions
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But it's in venturing into that fog that you'll find both your true, true self
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and the kinds of connections that make life genuinely fulfilling. Your quest for love is, in essence, a journey towards understanding the deeper recesses of your own mind, of your own soul
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It's essentially about knowing yourself. The central thesis we circle back to in this is understanding oneself
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This is a foundational step in creating lasting and meaningful relationships. Each failed relationship isn't merely an end point, but a chapter in a book that is still being written, written by you
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So take the pen back into your own hands and reclaim the narrative
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