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If your partner has cheated before, you're probably feeling a bit confused and nervous about what the future holds for your relationship
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And why you may not want to, it's a good idea to think about the possibilities of them cheating again
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Don't overthink everything and work yourself up, but try to keep an eye out for the signs that they may cheat again
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Hi, I'm Jessica from a conscious rethink and in this video, we'll look at some of the more common signs you may see
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They didn't come clean the first time they cheated. Cast your mind back to how you found out about their past infidelity
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Did they confess to you or did you have to confront them about it after finding out on your own
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If they took accountability and owned up, it shows that they feel guilty and want to make things right with you
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That's a good sign that they'll put the time and effort into reassuring you and showing how much they love you
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But if they didn't come clean, it suggests that they're not taking it seriously and don't value or respect you
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It doesn't mean they're definitely going to cheat again, but it may mean they're more likely to
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They lie and are secretive. Have you noticed that your partner is still lying to you about things in general
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Lying is a habit that is very easy to get into and very hard to get out of
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If your partner is lying to you about trivial things, it's not a great sign
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It may not seem like much at the time, but they'll start to realise they can keep getting away with lying
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If you've already forgiven them for cheating, they may lie to push their boundaries
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and see how far they can go before you challenge them on it. They may start to be more secretive too
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perhaps they don't tell you who they are spending time with and don't let you know that they're going to be home later than planned
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Maybe they hide their phone from you or leave it on flight mode when you're together. Without wishing to put you on edge
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or make you question everything your partner does too, these could be signs that things aren't quite as they seem
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They blame their infidelity on you. If your partner starts blaming you for cheating
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it's not a good sign. If they're trying to make you feel guilty or acting as if though you're the one who's done wrong
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You need to think long and hard about whether or not this relationship is right for you
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Being cheated on is horrific and your partner should be doing everything they can to make you feel comfortable and confident with them Blaming you is implying that you are at fault and it not fair It suggests that they haven taken responsibility for their actions
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Sadly, this may hint that they are capable of doing it again. This is not the first time they've cheated
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One of the most obvious behavioural traits that implies your partner will cheat again
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is that they have cheated multiple times in the past. This may or may not have been with you
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It could have been something they did in a previous relationship. Yes, people can change, but it's also too important to acknowledge patterns of behaviour
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It's worth noting that not everybody who has cheated in the past will cheat again. Some people just make a horrific decision and once and never do it again
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But if your partner has a track record of cheating, you may want to have an open conversation about it with them
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If you're always on edge you're worrying about them doing it again, they need to know. This way they can find ways to make you feel more comfortable, or they'll show their true colours and you'll realise that you are better off without them
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If you are struggling to talk about it, you should consider couples counselling
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By speaking to an experienced relationship expert, you can discuss situations in a safe environment
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You'll both be able to express yourself and feel heard by the other person
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and you'll get a sound advice on what you can do to make your relationship healthy
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If this is something you are interested in, you can find a link to our recommended counselling service in the description below
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They're not making the effort to put things right. Is your partner trying to make you feel secure in your relationship
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What are they doing to make you comfortable and confident that this won't happen again? What do you need from them to feel safe and loved
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These are all questions you need to be asking yourself. If they have cheated, there are ways to move on in the relationship and stay together
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but they will have to regain your trust and make sure you feel valued and appreciated
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You need to know that this will not happen again and that you will not be taken for a fault if you choose to stay with them
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They should be making more of an effort to spend time with you. They should be willing to have open conversations with you
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They should give as much as they take. They should express their feelings in whatever way they know how to
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But if they not making an effort to put things right why are you still with them Do you really think that you can have a happy future with someone who doesn attempt to make you feel valued or to apologise for what they done
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No, it's probably not time to move on. It was more than a one-time thing
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Think about the circumstances of their cheating. Maybe it was a one-night stand or a drunken kiss
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Alcohol is no excuse, but it can alter your behaviour and make you do things you wouldn't normally do
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If your partner has been very apologetic and desperate to make you feel secure, they probably won't do it again
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But what if this was an affair or they cheated with someone close to home? A lot of us could forgive a drunken kiss with a stranger, but sleeping with a friend or having a continued affair is a whole other level of betrayal
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If your partner continually cheated on you, it suggests a huge lack of respect
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It also suggests that there were maybe some feelings involved and these feelings may not have gone away
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Will you ever be able to truly forgive your partner for being involved in what is essentially an entire relationship behind your back
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They avoid alone time. A common trait of people who cheetahs and avoidance of being alone
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People who struggle to enjoy their own company are always looking for attention from other people
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They may also be seeking validation and affection. In fact, this is often what leads them to cheat in the first place
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They may even say that this is because they missed you or were feeling lonely when someone else made a move on them
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If your partner blame their infidelity on feeling lonely and they still avoid being alone now
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it may be a sign they will cheat again. It's not a surefire sign
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but it's worth thinking about and watching for. There's a lack of communication between you
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If your partner is cheated in the past and you have chosen to stay together, you need open and honest communication going forwards
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This isn't so that you can interrogate them and ask them to explain everything they do
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or tell you exactly who will be there on a night out. It's so that you can be. find ways to move on and feel comfortable and confident in the relationship. If there's a lack of
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communication or a lot of miscommunication, you need to ask yourself why this is. Is it because they
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feel guilty about their past behaviour and are trying to play it safe by keeping details to a minimum If they avoiding open conversations and dodging your questions you need to consider how you feel about everything and go from there At the very least you could arrange some couple counselling where you and they can talk freely with the help of a neutral third party They may find
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it easier to be open and honest if they have someone there to mediate things and prevent major arguments
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Again, we'll provide a link to our recommended counselling service in the description below
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The intimacy has gone from your relationship. Sometimes people cheat. because they're not getting the intimacy they want from their partners
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They want affection, sex, attention and they're not getting it. This can leave them looking elsewhere for it
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or junkly sleeping with someone else because it's nice to feel attractive and desired
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Some couples can get caught in the cycle. First, there's no intimacy, so one of them cheats
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Then there's even less intimacy because of the guilt. Finally, when they crave intimacy again
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but can't get it from their partners, they cheat again. This is something that needs to be addressed
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but it doesn't mean that you need to force yourself to give them more attention, sex or affection
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It means figuring out how you can both feel comfortable with intimacy again
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so that they have no reason to look elsewhere for it. Your gut is telling you
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It can be hard to know whether your body is telling you that something is wrong or if your anxiety is causing your body to feel tense and stressed
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So how are you meant to know which way round it is? Well, you know how you felt with them when things were good between you
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and you know that remember the pain of them cheating on you. So try to see the relationship for what it is now
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Are they acting strangely or are you projecting your fear onto them
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The calmer and more objective you can be, the more you'll be able to see them for what they really are
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whether that's someone committed to making this work or someone who is likely to cheat again
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That's all from me today. I've hoped you found this video insightful and helpful
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If you want to share your thoughts, please leave a comment I'd love to hear from you. And don't forget to like this video, subscribe to our channel and hit that bell button to get notifications of our latest content
