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Today we are gonna try something else. I'm gonna be reacting to TikTok advice for relationships and dating. This is kind of new to me, but seeing the dating advice on TikTok, or Reels and the fact that most of the advice or reactions come from men, I thought we needed a female perspective on this. Not just variety but also because a lot of advice given by certain people is not really that good.
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0:00
Hi guys, today we're going to try it something different and react to a few TikTok videos that have been prepared for me
0:05
And I've not really seen any of these, so that's going to be interesting. If your boyfriend never buys you flowers, you should tell him this
0:15
Honey, people have different love languages. Presence is one of my main love languages
0:19
When you don't give me presents, I feel like you don't love me. This is not what I want to feel in the relationship, so if you don't start giving me presents, eventually we're going to break up
0:28
Wait, I need to watch that again. If your boyfriend never buys you flowers, you should tell him this
0:33
Honey, people have different love languages. Presence is one of my main love languages
0:38
When you don't give me presents, I feel like you don't love me. This is not what I want to feel in the relationship
0:42
so if you don't start giving me presents, eventually we're going to break up. Now this is a weird one
0:48
Yes, our love languages and yes, everyone's love language can be different, but it does not mean that everything you make up is a love language
0:55
So generally speaking, there are five commonly recognized love languages, words of formation, acts of service, receiving gifts, quality time and physical touch
1:04
It seems like he's referring to receiving gifts in love languages, but it refers to thoughtful gifts that show that a person that they are special
1:10
But this love language isn't necessarily materialistic. It could be as simple as receiving one favourite snack after a bad day
1:17
or remembering a birthday and anniversary, or plans that you make together. The way he describes it is exactly what is so wrong with so many girls these days
1:24
is the misunderstanding and value which more often than not is not monolumeration
1:28
Most of time it's about the intent. There's no value in spending thousands when you have millions and spending thousands when you don't have millions
1:36
It's just stupid. It's the thought and intent that matters. That's what the love language is about
1:41
Not about finding an excuse to get your date or boyfriend to spend as much money on you as possible
1:45
If that's what you're after, then you clearly don't want a relationship, but maybe a different vocation
1:54
This is a very dirty trick to... trick to figure out whether somebody likes you and..
2:01
I mean you should know about it maybe you shouldn use it because It also known as the cry test If they are in fact into you and you still crying they will do anything anything at all to stop those tears
2:17
We're doing down your face. Because they will feel sympathy. However, if they resist..
2:25
And feel annoyed. They hate you. What is going on with this girl
2:32
She looks high, but it doesn't look like her eye. are dilated or anything. Who knows? Maybe she's in love or something or the guy she fancies
2:38
gave her the look. But hey, I like how positive she seems. Now in terms of her advice
2:43
the cry test. First of all, that seems way too childish. Secondly, I'm yet to see a guy who would
2:49
not have the compassion to investigate or at least feel sorry for a crying woman. Especially
2:54
so if they know her, which is what I'm guessing she is referring to. I mean seriously, if you date
2:59
or know a guy that you engage with and he has no emotions, well perhaps he does not hate you
3:04
just knows that you're faking it again or you're dating Patrick Bateman. Three tips to keep a healthy, long-lasting relationship
3:13
Tune in. Number one, communication. Communication is really important. If y'all don't have communication, y'all will never work
3:21
A woman has to communicate as equally as a man has to communicate to his woman
3:25
Number two, give each other a healthy amount of space. Men especially get irritated when a woman is always up under them
3:34
a woman know your man and know when to give him space i'm not saying y'all should separate from each
3:39
other for weeks at a time but if y'all do live together let the man has to go in the living room
3:46
and play his game let him go don't irritate him don't bother him to get off the game it's okay to have
3:52
the help him like a space number three keep things spicy and you guys know what i mean by spicy
3:58
In the bedroom, always use floor play if necessary if things are getting a little dry on
4:05
I'm just trying to help you. Hands down, I can tell you this goes absolutely right
4:09
We always say this too. Communication is one of the cornerstones of a healthy relationship Now in terms of the space yes give each other space but only as long as it does not negatively affect or infringe on the other person This is all about respecting each other and respecting the relationship
4:24
Just because your guy wants to play games with a friend does not mean it's okay, especially if you've made other plans
4:29
But this goes back to the first point. This is why communication is important
4:34
If you both agree on some me time, that both of you are happy to respect them, yes
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Absolutely stick to it unless you both change plans together. that being said, if your relationship is loving and healthy, your partner will and should come first
4:47
both for your friends, games, shopping or whatever else. A relationship is about two people as a unit, not as friends, buddies or housemates
4:55
Now this third point, yes, I agree, it is important to keep things spicy in their bedroom
5:00
But as long as the communication is there, we will know what each other one of you likes and prefers
5:05
Many women love affection and has nothing to do with sex, but put the affection on the same level of sex
5:10
Men on the other hand is weird for sex, almost as matters of their identity, a lot more than women, and that is a simple biological fact
5:18
So when it comes to spicing things up in the bedroom, sure, go ahead, but do it together and for each other, not just a woman putting out for a guy or a guy slaving on a woman who uses sex as a bargaining chip
5:29
Again, when it's in the bedroom or outside, you are a couple, so live like it
5:36
Have you ever wondered if you are in love? a way is to know if what you're experiencing is love. And as a relationship therapist, I know that these
5:45
things are true. Now, first thing you're going to look for, have you ever noticed that you just
5:49
can't stop staring at their face? I feel like that's so relatable. When it's true love, we actually
5:55
spend more time looking at this person's face than normal. In cases that aren't true love, like lust
6:00
or limerence, we actually spend more time looking at their body as opposed to their face. So if you
6:05
find yourself looking at their face, it could be true love. Second thing, have you ever found yourself
6:10
going out of your way or making a sacrifice for them, but not because it's going to make you look
6:15
good, but rather because you just can't wait to see the look on their face. For example, you are
6:20
buying them a birthday gift and you could choose like a super flashy item but instead you choose the less flashy item that make you look a little less good but more because you think it actually the right gift for them Finally guys third way you going to know if it true love Have you ever noticed that when you infatuated
6:34
with someone, there's a lot of overwhelming negative emotion at times. You can feel anxiety
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nervousness, insecurity. If it is really true love, you are not currently experiencing any of
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these things because you see them less as a source of your own validation and more as a real
6:48
life human being. God, I really hope my bank manager is not in love of me, looking me straight in
6:54
the eyes during my meeting with her the other day. But all jokes aside, of course, everything is
6:58
always about context. Though in this case, I'm pretty sure she's talking about someone who seems to be
7:02
dating their partner for some time now. But I have to say that looking at someone's face is pretty
7:07
normal. For one thing, we are often trained or conditioned to do that. Secondly, staring at the body
7:12
of your partner, boyfriend or girlfriend, rather than looking into the face while being with them
7:17
would be pretty creepy fairly quickly. In terms of the presence, come on
7:21
since then that has been a measure of love, I know plenty of people who love their partners
7:25
but are crap at paying attention to birthdays, anniversaries, and buying gifts
7:30
that the feeling of love or being in love is different from the initial fluctuation
7:33
due to the difference in biological and chemical processes taking place in our bodies
7:38
It's still fairly a subjected thing, and obviously we cannot strap every person to a machine
7:42
to measure their levels of oxytocin. Look, I have a simple way of telling you
7:47
that you are in love with the person. If you feel like you're ready to see them
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drop everything, no matter who you do or where you go, just to be with them
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You are in love. If you feel protective of them more than anybody else
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then you are in love with that person. If you feel compassion, butterflies in your stomach
8:03
if you feel jealousy, think about your future or plan things with them in mind
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or you think about them when you pop down to the corner shop to buy something for yourself and you think of them without being prompted
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you are in love. All right, that was fun. Let me know down in the comments
8:16
what you guys think about any of these, and if this is the content that you enjoy, we'll try a few more of these in the future
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