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We were pregnant at the same time
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By the same man. So what? I asked my husband for another wife
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And now we have eight children. Stop creating fatherless homes. I feel bad for the kids
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They be confused as hell. We're not discussing for feeding each other's babies
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We both produce milk, so we get to share that load. Elle's mom had a lot to say about our poly family
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And today, we're gonna find out if she still disagrees. Were you all ever concerned about how the children felt about having two moms
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Hi, welcome. Come meet my children and meet my wives. Hi, I'm Jai
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I'm O'Shea. My name is Elle. This is Koa. And then we have Kai right here sleeping
0:48
We're in a polyamorous triad with eight children. Harvest. Thank you. We're just finishing getting ready, brushing their teeth
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Spit. So between me and Elle, we have Aniya, Joya, Leary, Naturu, and Koa
1:05
And then between me and Elle, we have True, Harvest, and Kai
1:10
I've been with Ja for 13 years. I've been with Mo for six years, my name is seven years
1:17
We became polyamorous because of me. I basically brought it to Elle, and I was just like, I want a wife
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And he was like, are you serious? Are you trying to set me up
1:28
And I'm like, I'm really serious. What were you hoping to get out of polyamory
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Expanding our love life, help with the children, having like that sisterhood bond in the household
1:39
without having to leave my house and looking for it outside. I just noticed it. It's cute
1:47
Having two moms now in the household is like, okay, like you're handling the kitchen, I'm handling the laundry
1:52
When it was just me by myself, things were getting like piled up. You want some oil
1:57
Now it's like we have like a flow with the children. We kind of got like all eyes on them
2:01
I've dated a couple before. I didn't know I was going to get super serious with them and build a family with them
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Me and Ja got to know each other more and everything just started falling into place
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It was like, I love you. Who's with who? So our relationship dynamic are we all have intimate, romantic relations
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With each other. Yeah, with each other. I'm with L, I'm with Ja, Ja's with L, Ja's with me
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We're all together. Did you have any concerns about having kids with reaction to having having a third parent No actually we wanted them to see unity and diversity within our parenting
2:44
Our youngest was nine months at the time and our oldest was four, so I feel like it was kind of like, I didn't think they were really going to care
2:51
And all the other children we had together, so. Have you guys ever been concerned about confusing the kids with three parent figures
2:59
No, I've never been concerned about confusing the children. I feel like it gives them more chance to figure out who they are
3:07
They have more examples of how to be good people. Yeah, in different ways
3:12
I think our children understand our poly relationship. They don't overly know about the term poly, but they know that they have two moms
3:20
They're sour little babies. They don't need to know about all the details
3:25
How much do you help each other out? I feel like we're very involved with each other's babies as much as we can
3:32
Every time that we're pregnant at the same time, she gets pregnant first. Me and Elle help her deliver the baby and help her through postpartum
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And then not much longer after that, it's my turn to have the baby
3:44
We both produce milk. So the weight is not all in one person
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We get to share that load. When and why did you start feeding each other's babies
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And was it strange at first? All right, come on, Nutsu. So we started feeding each other's babies in 2021
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We treat all the children like they're our own. They are. Yeah
4:08
It wasn't strange at all. It just felt natural to help my wife out when our baby needed something. Exactly
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We're in one household. These are all my babies. You so lovable
4:18
She is. Our bodies are different. So they're getting like a double dose of nutrients from us
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And like our babies get like super big. And then I'll see like some women two days postpartum
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and they're like back cooking and cleaning because they don't have that support. Can you go out of the jumentos
4:37
How would you describe each of these different parenting styles? Overall, I feel like I'm the strictest parent
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I am like the more lenient parent. For like my job mostly is to keep them safe
4:49
and make sure they're mentally able to be free. Three, two, one
4:54
Drop them. Go, go, go, go, Larry! We decided to homeschool our children around the COVID time
5:03
I kind of just saw like the ins and outs of school, and I would like to control that more and keep them safe and teach them This yeast it may look like some dirt or flour or something but this is actually a bacteria
5:19
What are some of the challenges you've experienced parenting as a triad
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Us being so different sometimes. Just organization and keeping things clean. You like that? You like the bubble? Quick
5:36
Poly parenting is definitely not for the week. Do you like having three parents? Yeah
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Yeah? What's the best part of having three parents? A lot of help. Yeah
5:48
Sometimes it's a learning curve or growing pains that we go through
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but communication gets us there every time. We love to communicate and we just all flow
5:58
I'm gonna clean up. All right. Dad's gonna clean up. Yeah. That's so nice to do
6:03
When did you start sharing your family dynamics on social media and what were the reactions like
6:09
We started sharing our polydynamic about three months ago. Typically it's just them trying to call the women dumb
6:19
Who in their right mind will want two wives? I feel like a lot of people want two wives
6:25
We have had some comments about us feeding each other's babies. Some of them was like, that's weird
6:30
I feel bad for the kids. They be confused as hell. They see all of us like working together in harmony
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It's not like we have a toxic dynamic or you know, be yelling or cursing each other out
6:43
The children are confused. I'm confused by some of these comments. Stop creating fatherless homes
6:50
How is this creating fatherless homes? We know our love is true and genuine
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The things people can say doesn't really resonate with us because we know who we are
6:59
I don't wanna use crazy words, but I don't care what they think, I'ma just say that
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I can care less. It took a village back then, and it takes a village now
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That way. Even though a lot of people aren't in poly relationships
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they take their children to the doctor. They take- Yeah, strangers. They sometimes have babysitters
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We're all in the same house together. We know each other is the true village
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rather than sending your children out to all these random people. Some of my family reacted as in a negative way
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saying that it probably won't last. They already got you. Yeah, they got me coming in
7:40
Hey baby how you doing Mm Elle mom had a lot to say about our Polly family And today we gonna find out if she still disagrees So we brought it up to you mom about us adding Mo
7:56
How did you feel about that? Well, I just was like shocked
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He liked my hair, baby. He just said, it's my wife, mom. And I said, huh
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They young, they tripping, you know? I've been super close with his mom since I've met her
8:12
since I was 16. She was, like, really suspicious of the relationship
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and she kept acting, like, she was asking me, are you sure you're okay? Are you sure this is what you want
8:22
Were you all ever concerned about how the children felt about having two moms
8:29
We thought, and still do, believe it to be beneficial. I feel like if it was a situation where, like
8:37
I'm about to be, like, the mom outside of the relationship with the dad, I think it would have brought way more pressure
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But with all of us being together, I think it flowed more naturally
8:50
I've been around you all in y'all growing bonding stages where I've seen you all have meetings, you know
8:58
where other people have counseling, one-on-one marriage counseling, whatever, y'all counsel each other
9:04
Y'all sit down and get in the hot seat and express it. I've seen y'all cry it out
9:09
I commend you all for being positive about it. The best thing about having three parents in the home is giving the children more perspective on different personalities
9:22
They take on little bits from each, which makes them more whole when they create their own personality
9:29
What do you love about your parents? People like to focus on the physical connection part of Polly
9:38
but they're not thinking about like the day-to-day lifestyle stuff. I don't think there's a lot of representation behind poly families actually parenting
9:46
It's really nice having like a sister in the house with me that I could vibe with
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and, you know, talk and connect with and have help with the children. I love it
9:56
How many kids do you think you're going to have? I would put us at around 11
10:01
I'd say 13. I would think 10, but I love 8. I'm just going to say
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I love 8. I like 8 too. you
