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Karamo Brown On His Rise From Attempted Suicide, Dealing with Depression to New Success
Sep 27, 2022
Queer Eye and Real World star Karamo Brown stopped by Sway In The Morning to talk about his new show 'Karamo' and gets into a deep conversation of the highs and lows of success and how he got to this point in his career.
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Karamo Brown On His Rise From Attempted Suicide, Dealing with Depression to New Success
https://youtu.be/HjDJ38VzD6o
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0:02
[Applause]
0:05
come on it's interesting what's going on
0:08
right now this young man has passed by
0:10
our studio over the years many of times
0:13
and I'd be begging to come in
0:17
I was like wait what's going on what's
0:19
going on man and so I said this time no
0:22
matter what if his name ever come across
0:24
the board he'll be the first person I
0:27
say let's have him as a guest and this
0:30
is really special because the first time
0:31
we met I don't know if he remembers
0:34
all right maybe I might be mistaken was
0:37
in 2004 yeah
0:40
Philadelphia yeah Philadelphia yeah and
0:43
MTV had me come and do something I don't
0:47
know was it with Diddy for like um
0:50
might have been for Vote or Die I don't
0:53
remember but that that's not the time
0:54
that I remember and I was going to tell
0:56
you before that it was impactful after
0:58
that okay I got to LA
1:01
we invited to my first little Hollywood
1:02
party was in the Hills walked in it was
1:05
like 40 million rooms I'd never seen a
1:06
house as big soy was sitting down
1:08
chilling he was next to Alyssa Alyssa
1:10
Milano oh wow had stars all around just
1:12
chilling relax
1:13
hey you know real world like yeah yeah
1:15
yeah yeah he sat me down he was like yo
1:18
you got something you're gonna be big
1:20
you got to get focused you got to be
1:22
smart about this and like I'm sitting
1:23
there and I just I'm gonna start taking
1:25
notes on my on my hand because when the
1:27
phones it wasn't doing what we do now
1:29
right let's start taking he was like yo
1:30
get focused you got this he's like when
1:32
you get focused and you ready The World
1:34
is Yours what you want to do and I was
1:35
like I want a host like you and he's
1:36
like you got this work on your voice
1:38
work on this and literally those those
1:41
skills you gave me yeah stay with me
1:43
come on stay with me it gave me the
1:45
encouragement yeah right at the real
1:46
world no I could do it you were the
1:48
first to say that ever caramel brown
1:50
ladies and gentlemen yeah first first my
1:53
brother I'm gonna blow your mind cause I
1:55
remember it yeah uh it was um on damn I
1:59
can't even think of the name of that
2:00
house that was a beautiful
2:02
yeah yeah
2:04
um it was on top of sunset yeah top of
2:06
sunset yeah
2:14
we made it Mama I made it come on man
2:18
and your your story is just such an
2:21
amazing story we were talking about it
2:24
um I think you're brave I've always
2:26
thought you were Brave thank you
2:28
um I always thought you were talented
2:29
always liked your energy and whenever I
2:31
see us as black men in these spaces I
2:34
had to do that yeah
2:36
you know because of you I do that
2:37
anytime I'm in the space yeah I do the
2:40
same thing I know these Young Bucks are
2:42
like look at me like dude I didn't ask
2:43
you but I'm like yo one day you're gonna
2:44
be like me and sway you'll be like thank
2:46
you you know what I mean yeah you have
2:48
to though do you how often do you do
2:50
that because I'm sure and then we were
2:52
talking if you were to first open openly
2:54
gay black male on on um real world yeah
2:57
I mean somebody could have beat me to it
2:59
but he didn't have the confidence at
3:00
that point to be his true self so you
3:02
know what I mean but yeah right right
3:04
yeah yeah but you can't even blame them
3:06
you can't yeah different time different
3:07
you know like no blame but yeah you know
3:09
so it was a different time back then so
3:11
now I always make sure when I'm in a
3:13
space I always like try to give as much
3:14
knowledge I can try to endure like pass
3:16
on that confidence like you can make it
3:18
because there's you know we don't see
3:19
enough of us in these rooms well it and
3:20
then I don't think we talk enough about
3:22
it especially amongst on black men and
3:24
I'm curious to your and I and I didn't
3:26
want to make the conversation all of
3:28
this but it's great
3:29
um um I'm curious on your take with
3:32
hip-hop as a culture have we evolved in
3:34
our acceptance oh my gosh yes are you
3:37
kidding me speak to it yes oh my gosh I
3:40
mean I just think about like when I was
3:43
coming up there was oh what song was it
3:45
well I don't even I can't remember his
3:47
camera one of them put my name in a song
3:49
and was like all these caramels out here
3:51
pretending to be you know real [ __ ]
3:52
and [ __ ] and it was like like that's
3:54
where we were before where now hip-hop
3:57
artists don't do that anymore you know
3:58
we have to see Lil Nas X we see you know
4:00
so many different people who just feel
4:02
it's Saucy Santana like you just feel
4:04
amazing to be their authentic self and
4:07
people accept them and love them I mean
4:08
the growth I mean come on now yes 100
4:10
you had a lot to do with that because
4:14
Manchester famous
4:22
okay let me take that back but MC
4:25
mentioned you in advance my name get
4:27
mentioned to the song I feel like I made
4:28
it I don't care what they talk about I
4:30
made it I made it got it all right play
4:33
this interview we made it Mom
4:35
now here's the uniqueness in this we
4:38
well Heather and I knew each other
4:40
because we know each other right but MTV
4:43
has brought us all together yeah crazy
4:46
and we've all had different kind of MTV
4:48
experiences mines with news both of you
4:50
two went through real world but at
4:52
different times right yeah when you
4:54
reflect yeah oh gee the beginning it was
4:57
no real there was no real world before
4:59
Heaven B before Heaven
5:03
there were no black reality stars
5:08
there wasn't any fights on TV tell her
5:10
to be
5:11
put some respect to her name that's all
5:15
I'm saying Love and Hip Hop all of the
5:17
bad wives all of that stuff all them our
5:21
sons yeah okay did they ever call you
5:23
and thank you seriously
5:25
I don't really know I don't I don't you
5:27
know what it is Karama and I think you
5:29
can attest to it like
5:31
I I try to explain to sway before he
5:34
goes on these rants
5:36
when real world I was told that this was
5:39
going to be a documentary in 1992 they
5:42
said we wanted we want to do a
5:43
documentary in New York about seven
5:45
artists and we don't care what form of
5:48
art that you do
5:49
um we want to have you all live in a
5:51
house together I was like y'all gonna
5:53
pay me to live in the house and eat sure
5:55
yeah I didn't think anything of it and I
5:58
didn't think it was going to make it to
5:59
television there was no name yeah you
6:02
know what I mean so to look and see what
6:06
it has become I don't think anybody knew
6:09
you know and I say to people who went
6:11
and did real world like think about
6:12
caramel season yeah he may have seen
6:15
past Seasons but once you're actually in
6:18
there and you do it and the impact or
6:20
whatever it it's whatever you thought
6:22
goes out the window
6:24
absolutely because you could go in and
6:26
practice and be like I'm gonna be like
6:28
this and ain't nobody gonna get to me I
6:31
ain't gonna say nothing I'm black I know
6:33
better I ain't like all the things and
6:35
then
6:37
and so I don't know if it's a thank you
6:40
as much as I'm like thank God
6:45
like just thank God like I survived it
6:49
it's cool I know who I am and my mother
6:52
father rested Heaven ain't mad at me
6:55
keep it moving like yeah but it should
6:57
all give you thank you notes because you
6:59
were the first thank you you me you
7:01
allow people to say oh okay we need to
7:03
start casting black women because we see
7:05
their power we see their Brilliance and
7:07
that's you thank you so much wow thank
7:09
you yeah that was you how was when you
7:11
reflect back
7:12
um you know I understand I was
7:14
I have this thing Beware of the lights
7:16
this is um ideology I have about the
7:19
power of microphones and cameras and how
7:22
they morph people's personalities into
7:24
folks they don't even recognize two or
7:26
three years later it's a lot of power
7:28
behind this thing those lights right
7:30
yeah it could morph your mindset right
7:33
um did you experience any of that post
7:35
reality TV
7:37
um no because post reality TV I went to
7:39
a deep depression okay because the thing
7:41
was that there was all this um there was
7:44
like this pressure that I didn't want
7:46
there was these titles that I didn't
7:48
know that I had that like that first you
7:50
know game like like all these things and
7:52
people all of a sudden I wasn't enough
7:54
like I was I wasn't black enough and I
7:56
wasn't gay enough and I wasn't I was it
7:58
was like weird and so it just put me
7:59
into a spiral of depression like
8:01
literally after the real world maybe
8:04
um I did a challenge in 2005 and I was
8:06
probably about a hundred and
8:09
60 pounds when I did the challenge I got
8:11
voted off like second or something and
8:13
no one didn't know because I wasn't
8:14
eating I was like just depressed and
8:16
trying to like and then like it was
8:17
shortly after that that I um attempted a
8:19
suicide really um yeah and so it was
8:22
because of the effects of the media and
8:25
not understand because no one told I'm
8:27
22 just out of fresh out of college no
8:29
one told me how to deal with now you're
8:31
gonna you're you're people are gonna
8:32
have an opinion about you they're gonna
8:33
have they're gonna be talking about you
8:35
you know and and you're not making no
8:37
money so I wasn't Rich enough to like
8:38
you know like have so like I'm still my
8:40
same apartment still poor but people
8:42
expect you to have all these things and
8:44
do all these things and be able to say
8:45
all these things and I didn't have
8:46
anyone to guide me and um I just got
8:49
depressed I'm so sorry to hear that
8:52
because I I remember reaching out there
8:55
used to be a circuit that people who did
8:57
real world would go on speaking
8:58
engagement yeah and so I would run into
9:01
random people and they would start
9:03
telling me stories and I'm just like
9:05
what are you talking about and it's very
9:07
along the lines of what Karama was
9:09
saying it right now yeah so I remember
9:11
calling and shout out to John Murray who
9:13
uh part of building Murray he's the
9:15
Murray and Buna Murray I was like yo you
9:17
need to start having conversations on
9:20
bringing people in to speak to to the
9:22
cast members about Fame on whatever that
9:25
means like an orientation before and
9:27
absolutely enduring because to his point
9:30
the media decides what characters you
9:33
are and like he said you live up to it
9:35
or not but I always tell people because
9:38
I want people to know fight for your
9:39
money I did 13 weeks for twenty six
9:41
hundred dollars that was my pay so can
9:44
you have more than her Karama you know
9:46
no yeah no we didn't make that much I
9:49
think I made 10 000 for ten thousand
9:51
dollars that was it for the whole season
9:53
the whole season how many weeks were you
9:54
in the house though um we were there for
9:56
three months so okay they got ten
9:59
thousand dollars it was nothing I got
10:01
twenty six hundred yeah for 13 weeks so
10:04
thank God for my record like I didn't it
10:07
wasn't a money thing for me but they
10:09
paid me six figures for news you know
10:11
what
10:18
[Applause]
10:28
but this is why the conversation was
10:30
necessary I had OG's if you will around
10:33
me at that time I had a record deal my
10:35
mindset was just different plus I we
10:37
none of us thought it was gonna make it
10:39
on TV so we didn't care the expectations
10:41
were different but for them I understand
10:43
exactly what he means I know I hear him
10:46
yeah yeah the expectations came big and
10:48
like it just I mean telling you like
10:50
once I got through that like after you
10:52
know I I decided to like get my mental
10:54
health together you know it really was
10:56
what like led to all of this as well
10:57
like this journey of like me wanting to
10:59
be a host but knowing that like I need
11:00
to take a different way where I helped
11:02
people because I was just like I can't
11:03
everybody going through the things that
11:04
I was going through I don't want anybody
11:05
to ever feel like they got to be in
11:06
their house feeling like they're alone
11:07
feeling depressed feeling down and not
11:10
have a resource and if I can be a small
11:11
resource for them literally it was what
11:13
guide me to this talk show seriously
11:15
it's like those moments like that that's
11:16
why I talk about it so openness that's
11:18
the name of the talk show
11:20
[Laughter]
11:22
Mama we made it
11:25
damn it how did you get your mental
11:29
health together see that's the process
11:31
that I want to hear about yeah well
11:33
first of all like I went to family and I
11:35
got I got turned away quickly
11:37
um because everyone was like my mother
11:39
religious was like pray story we always
11:41
hear my father was like you just you
11:44
just you're just being lazy you know no
11:47
one understood had the language and none
11:50
of my friends was all too young to do it
11:51
and so literally I just started to go to
11:54
Neighborhood
11:56
um like AAA meeting was the first place
11:58
I went I wasn't even alcoholic I just
12:00
was like well I know that this is where
12:02
people come and talk and maybe if I go
12:04
there and talk about what I'm feeling
12:05
they'll get through it and that was my
12:07
first introduction into having people
12:09
listen to me and not judge me and not
12:11
tell me it's because I'm lazy or because
12:13
I don't want to go back to you know
12:14
whatever their thoughts were and then
12:16
from there I started asking like well
12:18
how do you get because I know how to get
12:19
therapy like that's still most people
12:22
it's foreign too like how you actually
12:23
sign up for that like how do you find
12:25
someone how do you actually navigate
12:27
that and so then I started going that
12:29
process to navigate and figure out how
12:30
to do that and so it was it was a very
12:32
slow journey I think from the first time
12:34
I took a meeting so the first time out
12:35
of therapy was two years really because
12:38
it took me time to figure out how to
12:39
save the money because I have insurance
12:41
it took me time to figure out how to
12:43
know to find someone
12:45
um you know it took a long time nowadays
12:47
we have things like better help and all
12:49
these other stuff that is easy more
12:50
accessible but like even five years ago
12:52
it wasn't accessible
12:54
and so it took me a journey but that
12:55
Journey was worth it because then you
12:57
know one day you end up with your own
12:58
talk show whatever your dreams come
12:59
through are you okay do the work on
13:01
yourself and then you'll get what you
13:03
need yeah
13:04
authenticity led to that as well thank
13:06
you thank you for that yeah
13:09
I was gonna say Dancing with the Stars
13:10
you want to do that too sway I mean do
13:13
that I can't sway I think you could your
13:15
name is sway I think you could literally
13:17
really yeah no seriously seriously don't
13:20
do this talk show I'm telling you I'm
13:22
telling you good for real you're okay
13:24
all right sway you got this you could be
13:26
the greatest
13:31
[Music]
13:47
you have such an amazing story tell me
13:51
about this show it's a syndicated
13:52
daytime program yes it's 100 in the
13:55
country it's all around you go to
13:57
chromosture.com and you can find out
13:59
where it's playing in your city
14:00
um and basically it's it's it's it's
14:02
everyday people that come on my show who
14:04
have problems with their their mother
14:06
their father their sisters their
14:07
brothers their husbands and wives their
14:10
friends and they just don't know how to
14:12
get through it and so I bring them on my
14:13
show and I help them through their
14:15
problems and the thing for me is that
14:16
even though my guests will come with
14:18
challenges I bring a lot of compassion I
14:20
give them real tools that they can use
14:22
to walk away and be better like no one
14:24
walks away from my show not feeling
14:25
better
14:26
um and then we have a lot of fun because
14:27
some time celebrity will come on they
14:29
don't really promote anything they'll
14:30
come and talk about their real problems
14:32
so they can sort of inspire people to be
14:34
better because if they can make it
14:35
through you know we can all make it
14:36
through maybe with some resources and so
14:40
um yeah the shows it's been dope so far
14:41
we've only been taking for two weeks two
14:44
weeks yeah and um today is the second
14:47
episode airing okay um and it's it's
14:49
been wild and amazing and you just go to
14:52
caramel caramelshow.com
14:54
k-a-r-a-m-o caramelsow.com let's go to
14:58
the song and then when we come back
14:59
we'll do a mini episode of the caramel
15:02
show it's gonna Sway in the Morning let
15:04
you take care like you take over the
15:06
hosting duties and then me and Heather
15:08
be a guest on your show
15:10
do you all have a conflict or a problem
15:12
that y'all with each other with each
15:14
other yeah what is it everything
15:17
you figure that out okay Mr host all
15:20
right we're coming back you want to talk
15:22
with caramel brown
15:24
888-742-3345
15:26
yes welcome ladies and gentlemen to the
15:29
brand new show that sweeping the nation
15:31
[Laughter]
15:34
you may know him from Real World
15:36
Philadelphia you may even know him from
15:38
Dancing With the Stars or you may have
15:41
saw them on Netflix series queer eye but
15:44
today he's debuting his brand new show
15:46
syndicated Nationwide please welcome to
15:49
the stage your host caramel brown
15:57
I like that can we get that clip so we
15:59
can use them
16:02
use that every day well you're the host
16:04
I'm not talking no more you know what I
16:06
mean all right listen we're here we're
16:07
back we're we're two amazing guests you
16:09
know them Heather B and sway so listen
16:12
you two has to be on my show because
16:13
you're having some problems talk to me
16:14
let me know what's going on well I'll go
16:16
first what it is
16:25
and that's the problem because I am a
16:28
patient person I'm the type of person
16:30
that takes the high roll it's reflective
16:32
in the work we do on this show you can
16:34
hear it every day and she's impatient
16:36
and she you know subscribes to the low
16:39
roll for me Karama at this stage in my
16:41
life I don't like that kind of conflict
16:43
that energy conflict and it plays out
16:45
every day on the show how do you feel
16:47
about what he said sway is a closeted
16:50
low rotor you know and I don't
16:52
appreciate it I know he takes the high
16:54
roll because it's safe he wants to
16:56
appear to be a high roller but in fact
16:58
he's a low rotor and so I'm just trying
17:01
to get him to be his authentic self-con
17:04
so why don't you think he can be his
17:05
authentic self well he doesn't like it
17:07
he has a lot of celebrity friends you
17:09
know so sweet there's a big accusation
17:12
here what are you afraid of to be your
17:14
authentic self what are you afraid it
17:15
will happen if the real world knows you
17:18
no pun intended no pun intended
17:21
I was gonna say I thought y'all dude
17:25
well you know it's a lot of it's a lot
17:27
of truths that I live by that um you
17:31
know it's a time and place for
17:32
everything caramel if I if I said
17:35
somebody who loves you is telling you
17:36
that you not being your authentic self
17:37
is affecting your relationship and it's
17:39
also stopping you from having the life
17:41
you want talk to us I'm trying to learn
17:43
how to appease that part you know of
17:46
this person that's saying that I don't
17:47
necessarily believe it that I'm not
17:49
being my authentic self It's Kind I'm a
17:52
kind-hearted person I've been this way
17:53
since I was a child I was raised by
17:56
elderly people in my family caramel they
17:58
put the love of God in Me right and I
18:01
was there they also put the fear of God
18:02
in you
18:03
um they didn't put fear okay they put
18:06
love okay oh yarn are we done then when
18:09
did the fair come in when I met Heather
18:12
[Laughter]
18:17
here's the real deal these artists come
18:19
up here unprepared this is true these
18:21
rappers come up here with whack bars no
18:25
bars low bars trash Rhymes trash and he
18:30
sits there and encourages them keep
18:33
going keep going and I'm like go home
18:35
you're not ready you shouldn't be here
18:38
but why are you not okay with somebody
18:40
to be on their journey and getting a
18:41
little helpful hand on that thank you
18:43
Karama okay here's the deal
18:46
were you that person just trying to be
18:49
heard she was trying to be seen at one
18:50
point no let me give y'all my example
18:52
host and guest
18:54
here's the thing all right this
18:56
community college and then there's ivy
18:58
league yeah right yeah so you go to like
19:01
Community College sometimes you just
19:02
figure it out before you go you can't
19:05
come here and figure out your bars this
19:08
is the ivy league and he lets them
19:10
practice on this show but why is that a
19:13
problem because it's wasting our time is
19:16
it wasting y'all's time or is it wasting
19:18
your time there you go our time because
19:20
it seems like this man wants to
19:22
encourage people to be better and know
19:23
that they can make it to the I believe
19:24
be your best self and you're feeling
19:26
like they can't why do you feel that way
19:28
you should not come here to practice
19:31
he feels the same way you should
19:34
practice at home did you come here
19:36
disheveled did you came done I came down
19:39
all right
19:42
okay
19:44
ready okay
19:47
yes they don't come ready and I see his
19:50
frustration on a different level and I
19:52
said if you just speak up and tell them
19:54
we wouldn't have these repeat offenders
19:56
all right so what can we do to heal this
19:58
relationship right now Heather what do
19:59
you need sway to be more honest and tell
20:01
the rappers to go home so wait what do
20:02
you need
20:05
you need
20:09
thank you I rest my case it was so
20:11
lovely being on your show
20:12
you know as a woman King it just feels
20:16
amazing to win this fight
20:23
thank you for solving our problems
20:27
your show works man I feel a lot better
20:29
right now
20:32
we got some people on the lines we got
20:34
Dennis from Seattle on the line rise and
20:36
shine Dennis say hello to caramel brown
20:39
hey good morning Shay 45.
20:42
mad props mad props
20:45
just for being real and transparent
20:48
right like maybe you should be a
20:49
counselor right
20:51
um and and sway should be on Dancing
20:54
With the Stars
20:55
that's number two the person saying you
20:58
should do it hey how much did they pay
21:01
nice yeah they pay nice yeah how much do
21:03
they say how much man
21:13
you know yeah just thanks for being real
21:15
you know I um had a friend that was on
21:18
the real world Joey kovar and uh you
21:21
know I do nightclub events in Seattle
21:23
right I'm sorry yeah I'm so sorry about
21:26
that
21:27
or passed uh that or or overdose okay
21:31
but just the scene man you know there's
21:33
so much stuff that that happens behind
21:36
the scenes and there's no help right so
21:38
you know I appreciate you breaking down
21:41
those barriers right because people are
21:43
just uneducated I can say you know with
21:46
with are uninformed with with help right
21:50
there is help out there right and uh you
21:53
know recovery really saved my life you
21:56
know and I have it I have a blood family
21:58
and I have my other family my other
22:00
tribe right yeah and uh you know you
22:02
just have the ability to be honest and
22:04
transparent you know and it's
22:06
unconditional so yeah I know where
22:08
you're at and listen brother I really
22:10
appreciate you sharing that because
22:11
literally at the end of the day that's
22:12
what you just did as well and what I did
22:13
is the reason that I share my story and
22:16
then 100 vulnerable about all my
22:18
challenges because the more that we talk
22:19
about it the more that people know that
22:21
they can get through it that they're not
22:22
alone because that isolation that
22:24
feeling alone gets you into a dark place
22:26
and there's they're with help with work
22:29
you can get through it so I appreciate
22:30
you man thank you for all the support
22:32
that's what the real ass call Dennis
22:35
appreciate you yes
22:40
when you
22:42
um how who found you when you tried to
22:45
commit suicide my two best friends
22:48
um ran trade I've known him since I was
22:49
15 and 18 were still best friends today
22:51
they actually left the house because I
22:54
thought they went to work and they um
22:57
walked out and that's when I attempted
22:59
and um they knew something was wrong and
23:02
so they came back and like caught me
23:04
right before I was fully passed out and
23:06
called the ambulance and all of a sudden
23:08
I just remember being in the hospital
23:09
for the next you know a month or so I
23:10
got myself together and you know got
23:12
some weight back on me and you know have
23:14
my family surrounded by me and started
23:16
working on my mental health when you
23:18
reflect on that like if you if you could
23:20
have talked to the person prior to you
23:23
committing uh or attempting to commit
23:25
suicide what would you say now to that
23:28
person I would say first of all talk
23:29
about what you're feeling because I
23:30
think first of all this is Man black man
23:32
this is human being sometimes we get
23:34
into a space where we don't talk about
23:36
what we're going through because we feel
23:37
like a burden like one of my things that
23:39
I don't do now is I no longer I'm on
23:41
auto repeat of saying fine like when
23:42
someone says how are you I no longer
23:44
just say oh I'm good I'm fine like I
23:46
actually Express what I'm going through
23:47
and I say to someone like just because I
23:49
expressed it I'll need to solve
23:50
something because sometimes when people
23:52
say like oh like oh like today was
23:54
shitty I don't feel good or whatever we
23:55
feel like this burden and feel like oh
23:57
my gosh I guess I gotta do this all this
23:58
I'll do that and it's like no no no I'm
24:00
not I'm not I'm not telling you that
24:01
telling you this because I feel like I
24:02
need to do something I just don't want
24:04
to pretend and I think by doing that it
24:07
allows me to feel not so in my mind and
24:09
in my head about the things that I'm
24:11
going through and it allows me to feel
24:12
comfortable in knowing that like it's
24:14
okay to express that things are not all
24:16
right it's okay to say I don't feel good
24:18
right now and not feel like I have to be
24:21
alone with those thoughts and I would
24:22
have told my younger self that because
24:23
my younger self just kept telling
24:25
everybody I'm okay I'm okay I'm okay
24:27
until the fact the day that I wasn't
24:29
okay that I tried to you know commit
24:31
suicide yeah and it's tricky because
24:33
imagine he did a whole challenge like a
24:36
whole television series in that mindset
24:38
in that mindset and just and all those
24:41
people around and nobody stopped this is
24:43
crazy can I tell you and that's another
24:44
thing I want us we have to look out and
24:46
pay attention and not think that like if
24:49
we talk to someone privately about what
24:51
they're going through that is making us
24:53
like gossipy or whatever because the
24:54
thing is I always think back to that
24:55
situation like people can look back on
24:56
the challenge because Netflix plays out
24:57
and I'm the the image that they use I'm
25:00
like a six three man and I'm usually
25:03
about 200 pounds just naturally I was
25:05
like 160 and skinny and everybody was
25:07
looking at me like I was okay and I'm
25:09
like y'all ain't seen me go in this
25:10
kitchen once y'all ain't seen me eat
25:12
nothing none of y'all want to say you
25:14
okay none of y'all want to be like you
25:16
all right yeah and because I didn't want
25:18
to be a burden and bring it up I just
25:19
kind of went along with it and then
25:21
being on there only escalated because
25:23
then people were like cussing me out
25:24
saying he's shitty he's [ __ ] up he's
25:26
this because he don't want to do this
25:27
Challenge and
25:29
um so I would just say like feel okay
25:30
with talking about your feelings and
25:32
also be okay with asking people about
25:34
what they're going through you know what
25:35
I mean caramel brown man we got Nicole
25:38
in the line from Boston she wanted she
25:39
wanted to chime in Nicole rise and shine
25:42
how you know Nicole
25:43
good morning and how are you well thank
25:46
you we're doing okay Heather and I are
25:48
relieved we got some therapy this
25:50
morning so we're doing a little better
25:54
can you hear me now yeah what's your
25:57
comment my comment is I'm listening to
25:59
Columbus what he's saying I'm sorry I
26:01
said your name probably wrong because I
26:03
have a little list no you're good
26:05
but I follow you and I did not realize
26:08
how much
26:09
you were saying until I'm sitting here
26:12
driving and I'm all like wow he really
26:14
hitting home because I have a lot to say
26:17
but I have nobody to vent to and I've
26:19
been keeping to myself singing to myself
26:22
not dealing with nobody and dealing with
26:24
the depression when and then I got a
26:27
tattoo says um
26:29
I'm smiling on the outside but inside
26:31
I'm hurting because I am hurting because
26:34
I have nobody to talk to I lost my
26:36
mother at a young age sorry
26:39
and the people that I thought I could
26:42
vent to and talk to is not working for
26:44
me because they turned on me yeah
26:47
and they use it against me
26:49
and that's the hardest part for me and I
26:51
never thought about going to it and then
26:53
meeting or a double uh um let's say
26:55
double A a meeting yeah to talk it out
26:58
because I even have a counselor and
27:01
she's more of a friend than a counselor
27:02
but she's getting paid but
27:04
she don't like because we have we still
27:06
have to do virtual yes and it's not the
27:09
same as in person yeah where I have more
27:11
time because when you're doing virtual
27:13
they only give you a half an hour but
27:15
when you're when you're there they give
27:17
you that hour that hour yeah
27:19
right and I don't have that so I have to
27:21
crunch everything in that happened from
27:23
from Wednesday all the way into next
27:25
Wednesday and that's a hard situation
27:27
especially when you're going through a
27:29
lot and you can't and it's like
27:31
sometimes I feel like I cannot breathe
27:33
because I'm venting like right now I'm
27:35
talking to you and I'm happy I'm talking
27:37
to you and it's three in the morning
27:38
this way I love you Heather B I love you
27:40
I love you too real world thank you
27:43
love you too Nicole uh I sound like it
27:46
sounds like you're talking out right now
27:47
yeah Nicole I gotta tell you thank you
27:49
so much for just calling in because like
27:51
uh you know like sometimes we don't know
27:53
what's going to happen when we come on
27:54
these shows and we come together but
27:55
like this was a space that needed to
27:57
happen today so that you could know that
27:58
you're not alone to know that we heard
28:00
you and that I'm so glad that through my
28:02
story you found a new resource to get
28:04
the help because I promise you I I
28:07
haven't walked in your shoes but I
28:08
understand the pain that you feel when
28:10
you take those steps and I want to let
28:12
you know yeah no go for it I don't know
28:15
I want to hear you
28:16
I
28:18
hope I don't know how the grace of God
28:19
but I can help other people and get them
28:22
through what they going through
28:24
but I can't help myself listen you're
28:26
not alone in that yeah you're not alone
28:27
in that listen that's why I'm in this
28:29
work like you just heard somebody who
28:30
says that he fixes people's problems all
28:32
day long before this career working in
28:34
Social Services now working in this like
28:36
but I couldn't fix myself and so that's
28:39
that's the symptom that happens to a lot
28:40
of us most of us who are the strongest
28:42
we can fix everybody else we can build
28:43
everybody up but we don't know how to
28:45
repair the broken parts of ourselves so
28:47
don't feel guilty for that don't you
28:48
know just acknowledge that that you have
28:50
a gift to help others but also
28:52
acknowledge that you have this amazing
28:53
gift to get the help for yourself the
28:55
fact that you called in you've inspired
28:57
others and I just know you're going to
28:58
take the steps to like go to one of
29:00
those AAA meetings where you can find
29:01
new resources and you know I I'm praying
29:04
with you and I'm there with you along
29:06
that Journey you got it you know what I
29:07
mean Nicole you're a citizen and we love
29:09
you call anytime okay
29:13
uh caramel brown get that man a round of
29:16
applause he's saving lives and and he's
29:19
a dad
29:20
it's a black Dad yes I am man what's
29:24
that like being a black Dad I'm so glad
29:26
they out of my damn house
29:30
25 and 21.
29:33
oh Jesus oh my God Jason and Chris Jason
29:35
and Chris so my just anybody you know
29:37
like uh I had one girl that I slept with
29:40
when I was you know 15. she didn't tell
29:42
me about my son it was the only girl you
29:44
ever slept with only girl it was one of
29:46
them for me I knew I was like nope you
29:48
know I'm not vagina shaming but I was
29:50
like nah that ain't for me that ain't
29:51
for me nothing about it unfortunately no
29:53
okay no that's real I have so many women
29:56
that get naked from me every single day
29:57
and I'm always like I don't see it girl
29:59
I'm sorry you know what I mean but we
30:01
had a moment take me with you okay
30:12
but anyway so with your boys but yeah so
30:15
she told me when my son was 10
30:18
um and then I got custody of him and she
30:20
and our best friends and I adopted her
30:22
other son and that's how I got two kids
30:23
so they were eight and ten at the time
30:25
when I got up
30:26
um and now they're 25 and 21
30:29
um 25 year old living at he's he's
30:32
living at home
30:33
still doing good you know in school
30:35
doing stuff the 21 year old gets on my
30:38
nerves every single day
30:40
it's wild he wants to be a rapper he
30:42
would die if he was up here he'll bring
30:44
him tell him bring bars you hear what
30:46
Heather said don't come up here
30:47
practicing oh man how did you talk to
30:49
them about sexuality did they ever did
30:52
they ask are you oh yeah no no we had a
30:54
lot of questions we talked about so the
30:55
thing was is that the reason that I
30:57
think I became a team parent is because
30:58
no one talked to me about sex okay and
31:01
um no one told me the importance of like
31:03
what it was to like actually have sex
31:05
and be in love at the time and how more
31:07
special that is you know what I mean it
31:08
was just like you got to do it you're a
31:09
young man you're supposed to be doing
31:11
this you know what I mean I have this
31:11
pressure from my uncles and my father
31:13
and so when I came to them I switched
31:16
the language I used to tell them from
31:17
the moment I got them at 10 I was like
31:19
listen One Day You're Gonna You're Gonna
31:20
Wanna experience sex but I'm telling you
31:22
it's better if you fall in love and it's
31:24
better if you wait yeah and so I would
31:26
give them this message of like you know
31:27
it's okay to wait it's okay to wait and
31:29
my oldest son didn't lose his virginity
31:31
until he's 21. he talks about it all the
31:33
time and my youngest at 20 because they
31:37
were both waiting for someone to love
31:39
because the language change in the
31:41
household and my oldest is still with
31:43
the girl that he dated that he lost
31:46
virginity to
31:47
um and I think it's just a better
31:49
conversation that you know we don't have
31:50
to pressure kids to feel that they have
31:53
to be sexualized so early even if they
31:54
have the desires caramel brown man I
31:57
love it man hey caramelbrown.com y'all
32:00
follow this young man yeah he came up in
32:02
here and he healed us hey we're healing
32:04
he brought us together oh karamoshow.com
32:07
for one day we'll be back at it tomorrow
32:09
boy I'll tell you hey caramel thank you
32:11
for coming through love you brother I
32:13
love you man keep going man keep going
32:16
all right all right uh we gonna come
32:18
back
32:19
let's just celebrate Karama right now
32:21
save for five
32:23
[Applause]
#Arts & Entertainment