Up next in 10
From Tragedy to Triumph: Karega Bailey shares his powerful journey of transforming grief into love and purpose on Sway In The Morning. After losing his brother to gun violence and experiencing the heartbreaking loss of his firstborn daughter, Bailey discovered how grief became a gateway to deeper love and understanding.
In this moving conversation with Sway, the social emotional healing practitioner and award-winning educator reveals how these profound losses shaped his mission to help others heal. Bailey discusses his work as a grief coach, the founding of the Soul Development movement, and how writing "Soul Affirmations" became a tool for collective healing.
Watch as Bailey opens up about choosing love over revenge, the birth of his daughter Kamali, and his innovative approach to mental wellness in the Black community. This raw, honest discussion explores how tragedy can transform into triumph through the power of radical gentleness and purposeful living.
Don't miss this inspiring story of resilience, featuring special moments with Johnny Gold and insights about Bailey's groundbreaking men's wellness fellowship in Oakland. Experience how one man's journey through loss became a powerful testament to love's transformative power.
#racialtraumatoolkit #racialtrauma #blackcommunityhealing #mentalhealthawareness #mentalhealth
CHAPTERS:
00:00 - Intro
01:30 - Becoming a Dean: Journey and Insights
05:44 - Transformative Power of Grief
08:52 - Overcoming Loss: Recovery Journey
12:15 - The Importance of Forgiveness
17:00 - Listener Feedback and Reactions
21:42 - Exploring the Concept of Love
24:16 - Love for Washington DC
25:00 - Who is Kamayu Soul: Background and Impact
Show More Show Less View Video Transcript
0:00
there you go right there man big round of applause yeah the song you heard was
0:05
10,000 that freestyle you just heard I got it off his IG okay but I meant this
0:10
man havea be uh when I went out to the bay to moderate a panel discussion for
0:16
the blue hour documentary that Rex life Raj was doing was amazing get that a round of applause man that dude is shout
0:22
out to re silly talented that man is re Rex right and then um I got a chance to meet this man and his and his and his
0:30
beautiful wife Felicia and uh I was able to yeah he was able to give me you know
0:37
pieces and bits of his story and in the first few seconds I was already
0:42
connected to him and I knew down the line him and I were going to cross paths again we were going to reach another
0:48
crossroads right and I'm going to let him tell his story but we eventually saw
0:53
each other again and um then we saw each other in New York City okay and yeah and
1:00
for whatever reasons you know we were planning something that didn't turn out the communication was a little on my
1:06
part was a little murky you know and but I knew that happened for a reason and I
1:11
said listen don't worry about it this wasn't the time we'll be on the west coast it'll be even better and greater
1:17
when we come to the West Coast cuz that La Sunshine will be on your face have it be be in a different mood you back on
1:24
that no I'm just saying that La Sunshine brings us joy oh snap that light okay
1:30
bring you know it's a long story it's a long story Flowers on you know but
1:35
anyway so he's here today man and one of the things he handed me was a book of affirmations when I was in New York and
1:41
I got a chance to read this book have the sole affirmations of tool kit for reflection and manifest manifesting The
1:47
Light Within and I'mma turn to a page um that I'mma turn to any page I'm going
1:53
just going to do this and see where I land okay and what I land in one of these affirmations he said it is
2:00
necessary for me to love myself though my mistakes if examined correctly they
2:06
could be some of my best learning moments I want to welcome him to the show karga Bailey ladies and
2:14
gentlemen yo sway what's good what's up we here here man we here and we live
2:21
and direct I I want to name this really quickly too um I we we cannot have a
2:26
collective experience with solar affirmations if we aren't all having a copy so there's a copy for you right
2:32
there that there's another copy you go it's really how we we going we going to build this in community right but um
2:40
also just want to say whether it was whatever the situation was around the schedule wasn't a schedule yeah it
2:46
wasn't good news Thursday yeah you did what I'm saying come on so the Divine the Divine synchronicity this whole
2:52
thing aligned for this day aign for this work aign for this word I'm grateful to be here thank you Sway in the Morning
2:58
what's good what's good what's good man let's introduce you to the audience if
3:03
you if you go online um and and and you look him up it say he's a social
3:09
emotional healing practitioner an award-winning educator recording artist
3:14
MC of the Soul development movement he's uh naturally renowned as a grief coach
3:20
in the founding dean of culture of roses and concrete Community School this is all true this is all true this is all
3:26
true this is all true where did you where were you born and where were you rear so yeah yeah so um I'm born in
3:32
Brooklyn to Jamaican immigrant parents right and um we migrated to
3:39
Sacramento and uh I was I was uh reared and loved and invested in by Sacramento
3:48
by my family by my community and um that path is just taking me all around the
3:53
world like once once your community invest in you one you got a responsibility to pour into your
3:59
Community but sometimes the the pathway to best serve your community is going to
4:04
take you on the road and it's going to take you some places to develop some new skills to deposit in your city to
4:10
deposit in your place right so that road is taking me all over it's taking me to was that first chapter of your life full
4:17
of challenge or was it ideal looking back now it feels ideal
4:24
the challenges were like invitations to my development my character development
4:30
um I I remember the adversity but they don't it doesn't it doesn't scar me in a
4:36
way that I don't find it to be beautiful I have more gratitude for how I came up
4:42
uh than anything despite what I experienced you know what I mean um but
4:48
that took me to to VA you know what I'm saying to further my education shout out
4:53
to Hampton University you went to Hampton I went to Hampton it's a Hampton man come on you know what I'm saying shout out shout out that's why you wore
4:58
the sweater what I'm saying no it's all good though but um but but after Hampton
5:05
uh that took me to DC right and that's why I started teaching uh and really that that teaching started in special
5:12
education so I was a special education teacher wow and my work in special
5:17
education put me in the intersection of what I call Hope and hopelessness and I didn't like the way
5:24
School culture was impacting the young people so that's when I went back and
5:30
you know got my Ms and other things and became a Dean so that was you know early in the work you know what I'm saying 24
5:36
but I'm in I'm in Southeast DC Northeast DC really doing getting the critical
5:41
information about hope I want to name this too my students were my first grief
5:47
mentors your students were your first grief mentors how so yeah the losses
5:53
they experienced uh and this is mostly due to gun violence in DC they were were losing peers at an
6:01
alarming rate and and by this time they already had you know the the tattoos mm
6:08
the RIP tattoos they had the you know the the hel Hansen coats or the spider coats with the with the ironarm mural so
6:15
this is like a part of their their their their their cultural experience
6:21
yeah and they experienced loss so much that they were the first people to
6:27
inform me on what that path might look like mhm the first to explain the Nuance
6:32
of how hard it is to sit still in the building so I didn't realize they was giving me that insight and that wisdom
6:40
right until 2014 now I'm still in DC at this time and it's it's it's it's it's
6:47
June 13th 2024 I get a phone call I'm in my
6:54
office and there's one particular student named Trey who knew what loss
7:00
looks like felt like sound like he knows the phone call he saw my body language yeah and ushered everybody out my office
7:09
and then wrapped his arms around me to stop me from collapsing and he didn't hear nothing that happened on the phone
7:15
he saw my body language and that was the moment that I got the call that my brother had just been
7:21
shot this isn't about the experience of lost only yeah I believe it's one of the
7:28
greatest one of the greatest traged I we can experience is the Miss the opportunity to let grief grow
7:33
us so it isn't about sadness it's about the love you find yeah when you
7:38
experience grief it is about the abundance of love you find and it's about the love that nobody knows how to
7:44
Market nobody knows how to teach about there is no industry for it they don't fold towels on your bed and put down
7:50
rose petals like they do around anniversaries and Valentine's Day right because the way that we perceive the
7:56
industry of the commercialization of love is like a really low hanging fruit
8:01
however grief has taught me more about love than romance ever could yeah hold on let that breathe for a second get
8:07
that a round of applause grief has taught me more about love than romance ever could ever profound ever ever and
8:15
it's why I love the way I do it's why I believe in it it's why I lead with it it's why I feel so comfortable in my
8:22
being to pronounce love and really live by that you know what I'm saying and it's it's it's transformed away I see a
8:28
day yeah it's transforming the way I see every single day and I'm even realizing
8:34
that right now this isn't like a a pre-thought out I'm realizing that you asked me was the early part of my life
8:41
harder it's informed the love I see every single day it informs the hope I I
8:47
I I I travel by every single day so I'm really on the upside of things right now yeah you feel what I'm saying how long
8:53
did it take though you know after that phone call hey for you to get on track
8:59
hey yeah that was one of the hardest ones yeah uh because
9:09
uh when you lose somebody to gun violence it challenges everything you
9:14
think you know it challenges every belief it challenged every positive word
9:19
I ever spoke to a student was it just did I understand what they were holding we don't want
9:25
just like this um this generic positivity that don't work from where we from we need a critically informed hope
9:32
somebody who knows how to be in it and um it was challenging because gun violence it it just it just it I mean I
9:39
talk about it on records I talk about in music it challenges every single thing around your values around your virtues
9:47
it challenged the way I was able to fully love black people who I've always loved
9:55
but like until you've experienced the intersection of harm then you don't truly understand the
10:01
power of love because it is the choosing of love that that teaches you the power
10:07
of love it isn't the idea of Love yeah you feel what I'm saying um and and and
10:13
be it forgiveness but I want to name just I want to to say this we on we on we on we on Sway in the
10:20
Morning come on hey and we are talking about love come on and we are talking about Wellness we are talking about
10:27
grief yeah and I get to say say my brother's name Kareem Johnson yes do you understand how far this has come yes and
10:34
had I let the circumstances that first entered me I wrestle with Revenge I
10:40
remember my I remember the fevers that would run through my body I remember
10:45
playing with a stoic face so I'll show no emotions so nobody knows what I'm thinking so I can carry out what I'm
10:52
thinking I remember all the nuances of how retaliation like it it it it it
10:59
tries to consume you it tries to move in it tries to learn everything about your mood your brain it really tries to like
11:06
give you a new program and and that I guess that program is what we call now crashing out or demon time yeah it ain't
11:12
even nothing to play with it's nothing even play with when you're really sitting in that position realizing that
11:19
everything you thought you loved everything you thought you stood for is all up for question yeah had
11:25
I acted on my initial feelings I wouldn't be here today able
11:32
to say the name of Kareem Johnson my big brother yes who led me dearly who who
11:39
taught me so much I wouldn't be able to say this today and and there's a level of joy that I have yeah and being able
11:46
to carry out his name in such a dignified way yeah there's a level of joy that I have being able to carry his story and and and not him alone right
11:54
you talked about more about my experiences yeah but it was my brother's it was my my experience around grief
12:00
with my brother that taught me how to choose love K Bailey is here man I want y'all to follow him too on social media
12:06
at kga k a r e g a k a r e g a Bailey b
12:12
a i l e y I have I have to bring you into the conversation we were having today that was U spawned by something
12:19
Ice Cube said in an interview that we did with him he has a song with be real on his album called let's get money and
12:26
you know the history at one point Ice Cube and be real with uh FES and they had to and they said a lot of ugly
12:34
things about each other in music and it started growing in the communities that they represented started yeah you know
12:40
started getting really tense and Ice Cube talked about forgiveness
12:46
right forgiveness you know yeah yeah that's that's a that's a powerful
12:53
concept forgiveness is and especially when you in a place in a state of mind where that's the opp it of what you want
13:00
to do when you was going through that that that battle with Revenge how important is forgiveness even when it
13:06
comes to somebody who hurt someone you love there ain't no fast forward to forgiveness yeah it's not even worth
13:14
trying to fast forward it's it's unfit for you unfair to you and unfair to the process of
13:19
growth but forgiveness is like it's critically important but I I Nam too even in my writing one of the first
13:26
people I had to forgive was myself yeah that's what where my forgiveness started it didn't start with forgiving the
13:32
person who caused harm it didn't start there it was forgiving myself for the for the for the just the complete the
13:39
complete experience and and the things that I knew that I wanted to grow through that helped me that helped me
13:47
incrementalization
13:59
not for the people who overcome I still work through my
14:05
feelings with the person that caused harm to my brother yeah it is not fully
14:10
resolved in my mind I have not reached a horizon of like all things make sense I
14:18
think that accountability and um how somebody wants to
14:23
atone is also important in the full scope but the forgiveness
14:29
releases the the contemplation the energy really how they occupy your mind
14:35
so every day I believe we all got to take inventory of what's occupying Love's territory yeah and on life's
14:42
journey you going to need as much love as possible it's like it's a hike and
14:47
what I found was I was harboring feelings that were occupying Love's territory so love was the only thing
14:54
that made me want to put down the feelings that were in its way so my forgiveness came by way of realizing
15:01
that love is not coming to like it's not coming for some of me it wants all of me
15:06
and I'm trying to surrender to love in his greatest capacity and that is how I incrementally move toward forgiveness in
15:13
his book of Soul affirmations uh K Bailey says in one of his affirmations
15:19
there is a massive amount of Love move moving through me and I am learning to fully surrender to the frequency of love
15:26
I cannot stop it nor am I supposed to the goal is to become one with love and for love to make me one with the Creator
15:34
and there we have it Kar Bailey man and there we have it we going to open up these phone lines 888 742
15:41
3345 and this story isn't complete you know this is an ongoing Journey with him
15:48
and um we're going to come back and talk about some of the things we talked about when we first met this is a song called
15:54
free the god U featuring Johnny gold and Kara Bailey Shade 45 man we got Kar
16:00
Bailey here Johnny go here too man what up what up What's happen What's happen what's happening with you man what's
16:05
good manure to be here go to the mic on the mic brother right here right here you man pleasure to be here pleasure to
16:10
be here you produced that gold yeah I did that one right there uh and the first one uh and me and kga we've been
16:17
locked in since 9595 four grade been my best friend since the third grade I walked into a
16:25
new school and seen my brother over there and then it's been on ever since concert band marching band every band he
16:32
was he was Center snare jazz band zero period he couldn't stay away oh man I
16:38
was first um clarinet when I played when I was in the band okay okay that's what's up yeah thank you man dad was
16:45
like that too that's what say he you play instruments man listen she right
16:51
I'm just you know I'm walking instrument instrument that's what we doing that's
16:58
what we doing I'm a walking instrument all right we going to karica Bailey is here um we're going to take some calls
17:04
we have Jay from Ohio on the line Jay good welcome to the show j j j j hey what's up what's up family what's
17:12
up sway Heather Tracy what up what up baby what's good hey check out I I love
17:17
this Brothers I love everything about him and we need more positiv like that I
17:23
definitely want to get that book because sometimes you know even I go through like bad days and and all of that stuff
17:30
and and and hurt and all of that and just hearing this story and seeing where
17:36
I'm at right now definitely need everybody need affirmations every day everybody need to see that that things
17:42
are can be brighter and they will be brighter you just got to sit back and let it happen let it manifest so
17:48
listening to this brother this morning I had called before and I Googled him and I want to understand where he coming
17:54
from and then listen to hear them speak that kind of changed everything and put it in different perspective to make me
18:00
understand like you know why my purpose is here because everybody always like why you always do this and why you do
18:05
that and I do it because it's the right [ __ ] thing to do it ain't nothing to talk about if you if you go to the store
18:10
and you see somebody struggling and you got a little bit more in your pocket and you can help them out it only take two
18:17
seconds to do for a good great act of kindness but everybody sting you so I don't do that you know I see little kids
18:24
going to the store on their way going to BU little candy in the morning they spend $3 or $4 I got that for you kids
18:30
go ahead y'all do good in school I want y'all to be the best y'all can be and that's the kind of energy we need every day this is what I do so that's why I
18:37
appreciate this brother and I appreciate y'all for real I appreciate you King for real for real thank you for making that
18:44
making that conscious choice to put that good in the world right it's just it's it's a Continuum of the work but also
18:49
thank you for taking time to really tap in I get the book for sure we got you how can I get the book so the book is
18:55
available in the in in the link but you go to solar affirmations right you go it's it's in my bio on Soul affirmations
19:02
s o o affirmations you can type it anywhere you could go on my page look
19:07
for it on IG Kara Bailey you can go to Google if you just type in Soul affirmations book we are the first per
19:13
first to pop up and what you'll also experience is that you could also when you don't have time because here's the
19:18
thing that book is important but I didn't want to create a type of media that prioritize which parents had time
19:24
to read or read to their child so we also it's available as an album okay right so you can actually listen to it
19:31
and experience it that way but we we really want our people to be well and and me and Felicia had to create tools
19:36
for our people to be well we had to Center our experience is solar acronym yeah source of light okay um Jay you're
19:44
a citizen man what way the morning appreciate you big love k y have a good day thank y'all hey drop me drop me a
19:50
line man K Bailey K I will definitely I got that for you bro I need I need this
19:56
and everybody need this so I'm definitely going to help you promote it bro for real that's oh man I like that man citizen right there k a r e g a
20:03
Bailey b a i l e y Rogers on the line from DC what's your question hey
20:09
Raj yeah uh Hey sway uh he to be and all y'all so I wanted to uh make a comment I
20:16
guess a statement not too long I I work for uh Southeast um helping kids um I
20:22
don't know if you ever heard of the uh City year yeah K yeah yeah very much
20:27
City yeah yeah it's so um in that program man uh we work with uh you know
20:34
the most uh I I was casted working with the kids that had the I guess basically the special education they didn't have
20:40
that in DC though they they have there's these kids in the class and and they're you know they're on the cuss but I guess
20:47
you know based on our training by third grade if they feel you don't make it they're they're they're uh creating
20:53
jails for what they consider is gonna be a problem down the line so they're using third grade test scores you were there to
20:59
uh you know offset that so being that they had no special education program
21:04
yeah yeah so being that they had no special education program now and there it might be a classroom with 15 kids
21:10
five of them might need those services but they're not available so we were there to Target those kids and you know
21:16
when you said uh between hope and hopelessness I understand that because some of those kids the circumstances
21:22
it's not it's not them it's the circumstances they're put in and um you can only help so much and saw and heard
21:29
things that you know I couldn't even you know I can't tell no kid type of stuff they seen that you shouldn't do this or
21:35
that I end up having to tell a lot of kids man don't get caught you know what I'm saying and so you know for me I
21:40
wanted to guess ask I guess that's just my statement but I wanted to ask you like what is love mean to you right because I I've talked to kids that had
21:46
things happen you know and I ain't gonna you know give details of stuff but very traumatic stuff man I can't see how
21:52
somebody's going to love some of those situations for you know make you home and somebody take advantage of your mother and
21:59
yeah and and you know so I think it's a very broad word to say love and it sounds good but it's harder to really
22:06
put that into practice with people who really come from things you know I mean even the law has uh you know I mean
22:13
they'll even spank you right if you do too much right I mean love love is there but there's also discipline there's also
22:19
what's the word I don't want to say violence but maybe retribution you know go to jail you suffer so Roger your
22:26
question is what does love mean to you K yeah well Roger I I want to make room
22:32
that the people who have a trouble or challenge with it that's who's supposed to be here for this conversation now
22:37
love is not this idea that makes all things better this is love is the choice
22:42
you make when you realize only you have control to control the outcome of what what's happened like you can have
22:48
circumstances that you've been subjected to and that can happen over and over and over and over again at some point you
22:54
learn that you do have agency and only you can be a part of changing that circumstances you've been subjected to
23:00
love is the pathway through that thing it's not the easy way it's one of the hardest things you'll ever have to do
23:05
it's not romantic it's not just beautiful it's some of the grittiest work but it's some of the most noble
23:10
work you could ever choose and nobody is pointing Us in the direction of love because no one knows how to quantify it
23:15
in the schools but you got to remember I did several years in the school so the love that I'm talking about is exactly
23:21
what made me impactful in the most uh adverse circumstances love is what made
23:27
me understand where the pistols were hitting outside the school love is what made me understand that when they come to school and they might be smelling
23:32
like dank and they going to get sent home but I'm the dean at the door what do I do to interrupt that do I have Clorox wipes do I let them wipe their
23:39
fingers the fact of the matter is he came to school and if you understood the circumstances he had to go to just to
23:44
get there you'll be less in interested in turning him away when he gets there right so you have to name these things
23:50
and love is a practice love isn't a philosophy it's a daily practice and it's incremental and you don't get to
23:56
just get it all of a sudden so the reason why so many are discouraged from Love is because it's a lifelong work or
24:03
you can handle the lifelong work of things happening to you and being subjected somebody else's decisions or
24:08
you can dedicate yourself to the lifelong work of the incremental approach to love more abundantly every
24:14
day thank you for your call Roger you're a super citizen yeah that's love of DC absolutely um when I met you one of the
24:21
reasons why I was um taken a back because I'm a father and um I have a
24:29
Amazing adult child yes who uh who's doing extremely
24:34
well for herself really beautiful I learned more about myself since her birth than anything else any of the
24:39
other experiences could have taught me um just facing much adversity but you
24:45
told me a story that really was heartwrenching and heartbreaking and um
24:50
and this is part of the reason why you up here today two is how you how you went to because of the grief of this
24:58
story story because of the the loss that you
25:03
had the gains that it brought and so I want to ask you who is Kimu kamay kamayu
25:11
Soul you did that you did it yeah you said yeah yes oh man let me say it
25:17
correctly kamay you Soul kamay you Soul oh
25:23
my man yeah we on S in the
25:30
morning we just said Kareem Johnson and kamayu soul what yeah what yeah man
25:37
listen kamayu is my baby my firstborn
25:42
daughter um September 30th 2019 my wife and I gave birth to a
25:51
beautiful a gorgeous baby girl named kamayu Soul uh we had a 41 week
25:59
pregnancy filled with joy my wife was fit running going to her trainer um and
26:06
by this time we had done all the all the service all the things served our community been together starting our
26:12
family mind you this is this is my lady this is my wife my girlfriend since high school high school sweetheart all the
26:20
things we give birth and we experience a vastly different outcome than we
26:26
imagined and in in a sudden that morning we became Angel
26:33
parents Angel Parenthood is the term for parents who've experienced the loss of a child and now I want us to also
26:40
understand that angel Parenthood is not just people who lose um neonatal loss or infant loss yeah that language comes but
26:47
we also learned because of the experience of the mothers that we work with so our work
26:53
was first around gun violence Interruption MH and there's a wonderful film actually also so called when the
26:59
waters get deep uh and you can find that with k with soul development in KQED and
27:04
be imaginative and there's another film um dear beloved but I want to name that
27:10
while we were working with mothers who've experienced the loss of a child to gun
27:17
violence we were pregnant and Felicia is listening to the wisdom of these mothers
27:23
and the the the need to keep writing we never imagined that we would
27:28
experience a loss during this time and you suddenly start to realize I want to
27:33
name one phenomenon so kamayu is so very important but what kamayu has given me permission to do is understand the
27:39
broader scope of love and I want to name that we have seen a type of care and
27:46
concern and love given to women who and want to name like the the the neonatal
27:53
um birth experience for black women right it's just it's so many adverse outcomes
27:59
um but I want to name that we learned that Felicia's womb hurt in the exact
28:05
same way of mothers who lost children of gun violence whether they were 14 21 25
28:11
34 like my brother the womb hurt in the same place and it gave me visibility to
28:16
see all of this see all of these mothers and really work on creating the conditions for them to receive the love
28:23
they deserve and what I call radical gentleness they deserve think think
28:28
about an acrobat acrobats are incredibly strong yeah but it's not Brute Force mhm it's a
28:36
it's a Act of Grace and balance in which every muscle fiber is triggering I believe that men have the
28:44
ability to practice that type of strength different than the force different than the posturing different
28:51
than the blunt I said what I said this is what it is I I learned that men have the capability to all so display radical
28:59
gentleness as a form of strength and it's one of the hardest strengths you'll ever have to develop because it's not by
29:05
force right it's by Grace kamayu soul my firstborn daughter has birthed me into
29:12
the understanding of grief is an experience of Love She transformed my life work she transformed my daily work
29:18
she transformed who I am in the world the moment she was born I became a father I was born too and I had to live
29:25
out this purpose differently as an angel parent and it includes creating space everywhere we go creating conditions
29:32
everywhere we go we have a largely grify illiterate Society y'all yeah our society grief illiterate yeah and it
29:40
interrupts our ability to love each other deeper because grief feels
29:46
alienating isolating and alone when really it is a Global Experience yeah in
29:52
which we all can learn to love more abundantly so this is the work and I mean it and and it has been this way
29:59
since she was born that Felicia and I my lovely wife Make some noise for Felicia too Fela shout out to Fel I'm sorry Make
30:07
some noise for Dr Felicia that's a earned PhD you dig what
30:13
I'm saying come on man absolutely because building the black family uh is
30:18
incredibly important to me I want to name it as such but I want to I want to name it in surrounding our birth
30:25
experiences yeah right and we have been able
30:30
to like let that grief grow us and like love has literally become our passport
30:36
in this world and it's one of the greatest passports anybody could ever surrender to and it it it doesn't work
30:44
like all the other passports but it is an assignment based passport it is an intention based passport it's the one by
30:51
which strangers are no longer strangers right we all in a journey and kamayu has shifted the way I see the world she sh
30:58
the way I see myself yeah she shifted the way we we tell story The the when
31:03
when be imaginative Big Ups to be imaginative and soul development when we were doing this work and have continued
31:10
to do this work because as you all see my brother in 2014 put me in the gun violence Interruption
31:17
space we never imagined that we would be Angel parents
31:24
and take a different approach to how we hold this space yeah I remember being so
31:30
intimidated by the mothers who lost children to gun violence even my own mother I just it's not much you can say
31:37
and that's because it isn't in words it's in action it is service it is being
31:43
with it is being present for yeah your words can't change it they don't they don't take the sting away often times
31:50
your words land vastly different than where you thought they were going to land and that's why we start to stay
31:56
away from people in grief because we don't know what to say mm don't you don't have to stay away it just it's
32:01
less words true and it's more action and some sometimes the action is just coming to sit with you and check on
32:08
you don't say nothing bring a meal whether they eat it now because they
32:13
don't have an appetite BR the meal bring the meal or they eat it later M bring that meal and set it down it's going to
32:19
come in handy they just don't have the appetite because of the overwhelming sensation of grief but there's ways we
32:25
can just show up and it's not just a meal but it's the way we show up but it's not words mhm you are a beautiful
32:30
soul you truly truly are like I'm so grateful for your presence here and for
32:37
these words of hope that you can give to our listeners who often times are in a
32:42
hopeless place that's how they feel I'm interested in knowing when you speak of
32:48
grief being a portal to love to a deeper love um has it lessened your fear around
32:57
death your own passing your own transition and I love also hearing what
33:04
folks like you how you see our life Beyond The Human Experience the
33:12
afterlife yeah you know you may experience the transition
33:20
the passing of a friend of an elder of a parent a grandparent a
33:29
cousin and you love those people and you miss those people and you're almost like
33:34
still to a point but then Life starts giving you what life gives you for the
33:41
day and somewhere in that assignment you find somewhere in that Journey you find your assignment and you begin to
33:47
remember what life feels like and in some cases Joy or just like the Zeal you have for
33:53
living and I can honestly say that I have loved several people who have
34:00
transitioned but no nothing no no loss I've ever endured impacted me the way
34:07
seeing my firstborn daughter and I think about all these different dimensions of
34:15
for me I'm thinking in masculinity right so you know I've heard Brothers say man
34:20
look to protect my family if I got to sit down I got to sit down right if
34:26
somebody's coming in your way you got to and there's harm pending and and and the courts don't rule in your favor you will
34:31
consider yourself Noble to have defended your family and take whatever consequences that are consistent with
34:37
defending your family for me the only way to get to my
34:44
daughter again is to live a life of purpose and when this part is
34:50
over I believe the some of the best that I can't imagine so I can't it's not in
34:56
my imagination right I don't have a thought about it I don't have an imagination about it it is larger than anything I can construct in my mind yeah
35:03
and the reason why I know it's larger than anything I can construct in my mind because the days that I've continued to
35:09
live since the passing of my brother since the passing of my daughter have been greater than anything I can
35:16
construct in my mind the the the absolute abject heartbreak that I face I
35:21
never thought I would have joy I never thought I would record another song I never thought I would smile even
35:28
thinking about being happy felt like guilt yes even the idea of doing
35:33
something different in 2014 when my brother passed the M the radio was mute
35:38
for me no song No dances you know how every summer you get like a little dance craze I have no dances bro none no moves
35:46
I don't want to hear nothing and I don't want to hear nothing about nobody glorifying how easy it is to to to to to
35:52
to to shoot a gun um uh to shoot somebody like when you romanticize it I
35:58
like you don't know [ __ ] about it you don't know how this really feel right cuz you I hear you you sound romantic you sound it sounds like another you're
36:06
just playing with words do you know how it sting right do you know what it's like
36:11
to sit up at night do you know what the cold sweats feel like do you know what the terror feels like do you know do you
36:17
know what it feels like to lose every sensation of
36:23
goodness I mean it's bitter it's bitter so when they write these songs I don't even believe them because it don't it
36:29
don't taste bitter it tastes sweet everything about it is just commercially
36:34
reformed and it don't feel real to me so with that being said for me I've this being being with
36:43
y'all today yeah is greater than anything my mind could construct on
36:48
September 30th 2019 when I was in that hallway yeah when I had to walk out the
36:54
hospital to get the car to retrieve my wife and then realize I'm going to be
37:00
pushing her out with no baby there ain't nothing yeah that made
37:05
me think I would have this Joy I didn't know I would be happy again so if if
37:12
life if just these few years of life that we see and we know have exceeded anything my mind can
37:20
construct that I then I know this for sure what awaits me is greater than
37:25
anything my mind can construct and let us remember this there's always more of our loved ones on the other side than
37:31
there are here amen all always that that is just a way the time is set up
37:37
ancestors included ancestors included so so we really you know with that being said I don't know what comes next I know
37:43
I got to live a life of purpose and goodness in order to even get to the next I love this conversation kga Bailey
37:51
man give this man a round of applause Dr Felicia gang Bailey come on Y come on
37:58
man let's say it man I got to ask you about Kamali the
38:05
realest shade Soul Bailey hey Kamali is as alive as they
38:11
come that is our second born daughter kamale shade so she is a huge
38:18
personality um she makes music with her with her gold father Johnny gold as
38:24
early as 9 months oh as early as 9 month I remember soon as she started being
38:30
able to walk she started to go to his controls and press and like she could press and it was nothing working yeah by
38:36
the time she was a year she like man plug it in like the beat is not that's real yeah that's real so every time when
38:43
when when the family was going through uh the transition um I found for a way to
38:52
connect with my brother in a way that we both understand is through music so with him being in the Bay Area and me being
38:59
in La I would take you know days off to just drive up with my studio set up and
39:05
get with him and you know we start to record and it start to be a a good thing it was therapy for kga and it was also
39:12
he was in a better place cuz kamale was here but when Kamali as soon as she came
39:18
into the studio I mean I'm talking nine months like little baby real she's crawling to every piece of studio
39:24
equipment crawling on my desk on the keyboard and and she's been a part of
39:30
our music Journey a part of K's music Journey and Felicia and she's just so
39:35
acclimated to the music right now she's three years old but she plays a drum she sings she knows parts of song
39:42
harmonies on the stage when they perform like give me a mic like stop playing give me a mic and if her mic ain't on
39:49
she can tell yeah and if her mic ain't on she can tell cuz she'll look around and she'll take mine right so one of
39:55
these things that's so profound to me is that kamale is 3 years old she's an
40:01
amazing leader amazing listener her personality is so bright and I didn't I
40:06
didn't know anything about like birth signs or let me just say this I didn't know I didn't know what a Aries is right
40:13
but if anybody like has one as a child they she means everything she says with
40:19
full intensity and she so fiery and I love it and being her dad is such a is
40:25
such an invitation to like learn more right cuz the teaches to learn twice but kamale is one of the brightest shining
40:32
beings not because she's my child my mom has so many grandchildren I got eight brothers and sisters oh my okay true
40:39
Jamaican family me I said noop me I said no but listen No when kamale came I
40:45
remember my mother and my siblings looking at her like yo but this one different this one come different and my
40:52
mom was telling me this from the very early stages and so were my brothers and my sisters so as unique as it is to be a
41:00
member of this family because she has followed kamayu in birth she is a
41:06
supernatural intuitive child yeah she knows exactly who kamayu is I believe
41:11
that she can tell you the difference between her and kamayu she'll tell you certain things that we had from kamay's
41:17
time that's kamay's house that's kamay's car she she understands the timeline in
41:22
a way that I can't explain show yeah and and and then and then show up like yeah
41:28
when I was a baby yeah right so this idea Kamali has restored a level of joy
41:35
and goodness there you go and Zeal and power and purpose um and I remember this
41:41
too one thing about children they'll keep you going yeah yeah so you don't get to just sit still in a feeling not
41:47
at all they keep you going and that is an invitation into a future right to
41:52
keep going forward because that's the way they go so to be her father um and
41:57
to watch her be y'all know her y'all really cale's really she got her own
42:03
people yeah she has her own she don't got no own page because we not doing that but there's people who love kamale
42:09
and who defend and stop defending everything she do y'all Y can't no y'all can't y'all can't keep riding for kamale
42:15
like that y'all I'm working I'm working on trying to get this three-year-old right but that's my baby girl go man I
42:21
love you sharing that I'm going take one last call before we conclude I got to take you to the city of Oakland oh shout
42:28
out to my cousin C and Lord rap no voters we got Lord r what it do yo yo we
42:37
got Lord RAB no voters on the line man R RAB what's good King peace King
42:43
man what's happening with you man I I heard that voice on the radio man I said something called me to the car to hear K
42:50
man and I had to I had to call in and get his man his props and I had to say
42:55
this man kga makes you use your insecurities as a way to make yourself secure man whether that be
43:02
mental health or the insecurities about our family and what we go through he really makes it feel real and he makes
43:08
it feel relatable man so I just wanted to call in and give him his props what he does in Oakland with the mental
43:14
health thing you know uh health is the new genre mental health is the new genre yeah Wellness is the new genre yeah well
43:22
genre and he's a dope super dope MC and a super great father I had to call in
43:28
stay on the line just to say that man shout out to kga Soul development the wife everybody man hey R listen hey one
43:37
thank you but I I get to talk to you right now on this air brother thank you for the ways that you've shown up consistently over the years thank you
43:43
for the way that you always you know what I'm saying big me up whenever you see me and big up the family like RAB
43:48
really whenever you see me with the family it's a mandatory stop right checking with the babies and that mean a
43:54
lot to me this the only men that really come around me you got to be yeah see the family cuz this is what I'm about full time R Big Love King massive love
44:02
you dig what I'm saying I'm I'mma come get with you too I'mma come get with you yes sir yes sir that RAB it's good to
44:09
hear your voice man shout out to you RAB crazy how you hear from your
44:15
family everybody man else The Room
44:20
everybody let me my I was going say I was just funny how you hear from your family on your radio show but they call
44:27
your phone that's all I was bit that's bit I don't believe
44:34
it you can make a cocktail with them B he he you know something you know
44:40
something I'm going get some more from you cuz we gonna work with bro we go work with me hey ra tell the family tell
44:47
everybody I said Peace I'll see you next week in the town all right okay cool peace all right Lord ra no vter podcast
44:54
make sure you check it out kga uh this was am and and it happened in God's time
45:00
God's time I want to name something real quick R is talking about so for the last two years in Oakland um I'm I co-founded
45:08
something called a men's Wellness Fellowship we actually com up three years but the men's Wellness Fellowship
45:13
uh we have another activation coming up December 1st and we also create a coet
45:18
space so we we do the co-investigating Deep on ourselves and we create a coet space but that Fellowship has come
45:24
because I found out men were carrying way more than they knew how to say yeah and sometimes all it takes is a being in
45:30
proximity to somebody who knows how to say something and you'll say damn I feel that that's what I feel nothing's
45:37
heavier than words you can't express I don't care how much you bench press what your 40 time is what you squat nothing
45:42
is heavier than words you can't express you know what I'm saying so the men's oness fellowship is a space that we created and big love to the hu P Newton
45:50
Foundation wow for giving us a home and we've been there for what almost three years where's it located uh we at 1427
45:56
Broadway uh in Oakland downtown Oakland downtown Oakland and we meet last Tuesday of
46:01
every month but this upcoming Tuesday uh as it sits so close to the holiday we're
46:07
going to just do some service and the next collaboration is going to be December 1st and that's going to be a
46:13
co-ed co- investigation okay you dig what I'm saying because we all got to be well we got to be together man Kar giley
46:20
can be reached on social media at k a r e g a b a i l e y k Bailey everywhere
46:28
every platform what about you Johnny gold Johnny Johnny gold official j o nny
46:33
y gold official Johnny gold official the first gold father
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#Self-Help & Motivational
#Death & Tragedy