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I Made My Husband Choose: Me or His Mother | Reddit Story
Jul 31, 2025
#redditrelationship #aita #redditstories I Made My Husband Choose: Me or His Mother | Reddit Story I thought marriage was about partnership. But for three long years, I wasn’t just married to my husband — I was married to his mother too. From bedtime phone calls to sabotage at my job, my toxic mother-in-law tried to control every corner of our lives. When she finally went too far, I had to make an impossible decision... In this storytime, I share how I stood my ground, confronted my husband, and took action against a woman who thought she owned our marriage. 💔 Ever dealt with a controlling mother-in-law? Tell me your story in the comments. 🔔 Subscribe for more real-life drama, betrayal, and emotional turning points.
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0:00
Marriage, they say, is a partnership.
0:02
For me, it was a constant tugof-war with
0:05
my husband, John, dangling somewhere in
0:07
the middle, his other end firmly
0:09
tethered to his mother, Linda. 3 years
0:11
in, and John, the quintessential mama's
0:14
boy, still gossip to her about every
0:16
single one of our marital squables, a
0:19
disagreement over dirty dishes, a
0:21
complaint called a mom, a debate about
0:24
what movie to watch, a quick dial for
0:27
Linda to convince me to go with his
0:28
choice.
0:30
This was just the tip of the iceberg.
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The deeper problem. John sought his
0:35
mother's permission for everything. Date
0:38
night planned. A call to mom. Last week,
0:41
she declared that 900 p.m. was too late
0:43
for a restaurant reservation. He
0:46
listened. He canled. Every night at
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10:30 on the dot, her call chimed,
0:51
announcing bedtime. He obeyed
0:54
religiously. Even if it interrupted
0:56
something we were doing, I used to
0:58
confront him. My pleas met with a blank
1:01
stare, then a call to Linda. He'd put
1:04
her on speaker, letting her explain to
1:06
me why their relationship was the way it
1:08
is. The one time I managed to convince
1:11
him to put his foot down, he called her,
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then came back 20 minutes later,
1:16
berating me for trying to manipulate and
1:19
control him. To truly grasp the depths
1:22
of Linda's insanity, specific examples
1:24
are crucial. When Jon and I were dating,
1:28
we planned a romantic weekend getaway.
1:30
Just us. I envisioned a cozy cabin in
1:34
the mountains, much needed alone time.
1:36
Before we finalized anything, John said
1:39
he needed to check with his mom first. I
1:42
laughed it off, thinking he was just
1:44
being considerate. Perhaps she was
1:46
protective of her only child.
1:49
But then he actually called her. Her
1:51
verdict? No. Way too dangerous, she
1:55
declared. Her precious boy wasn't used
1:58
to being so far away from her. He took
2:01
her word as gospel. We couldn't go. When
2:05
I asked if he wanted to go, he merely
2:06
shrugged. It doesn't matter whether or
2:09
not I want to. My mother said no. And
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that's all there is to it. We ended up
2:15
at my house, the only place Linda deemed
2:17
safe. This was a blaring red flag, one I
2:21
bitterly regret ignoring.
2:23
During our dating years, countless dates
2:25
were interrupted by Linda's calls,
2:27
sometimes more than once. Trivial
2:30
check-ins, reminders to take his
2:32
vitamins or avoid certain foods. I
2:35
brushed it off as quirky, convinced that
2:37
once we were married, he'd set
2:38
boundaries and she'd back off. How wrong
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I was. Years into our marriage, Linda
2:45
was just as overprotective, if not more
2:46
so. The storm truly broke on our third
2:49
wedding anniversary. I'd planned a
2:51
romantic evening. Dinner at the place of
2:54
our first date, followed by a night at a
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charming little B&B. A perfect surprise.
3:00
I rushed home, buzzing with excitement,
3:02
only to find John wasn't there. I called
3:05
him. He'd forgotten. He was out having
3:08
dinner with his mom, who'd had a rough
3:10
day and needed company. When John
3:12
finally came home, I was furious. Our
3:15
anniversary, a day meant to be special,
3:18
was a shouting match. I was fed up.
3:21
Not just with the anniversary, but with
3:23
everything. Her constant interference,
3:26
his inability to see how it was tearing
3:28
us apart. He grew defensive, the
3:30
familiar pattern. He'd justify her
3:33
actions, leaving me feeling unheard,
3:35
undervalued. After our massive fight,
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instead of apologizing, instead of even
3:40
trying to make things right, he did what
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he always did.
3:44
He called his mom. I could hear him in
3:46
the next room detailing my
3:48
unreasonleness, my lack of understanding
3:50
about their special relationship, how I
3:53
was blowing things out of proportion.
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"That was it," I snapped. I walked into
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the room, snatched the phone from his
4:01
hand, and laid it on the line. "Linda,"
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I said, my voice shaking with suppressed
4:06
rage. "You need to stop messing in our
4:09
marriage. If you want to boss someone
4:10
around, find your own man.
4:13
Linda, of course, went ballistic. She
4:16
accused me of jealousy of trying to come
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between them. A furious argument
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erupted. Jon caught in the middle,
4:22
looking like a deer caught in
4:24
headlights. Linda wasn't just angry, she
4:26
was vindictive.
4:28
The very next day, she showed up at our
4:30
house unannounced, walking in as if she
4:32
owned the place. She acted as if nothing
4:35
had happened, there to visit. But dinner
4:39
revealed her true intentions. I had
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spent the afternoon making Jon's
4:43
favorite spicy chicken curry, adding the
4:45
extra kick I knew he loved. As we sat at
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the table, I watched Linda take her
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first bite. Her face immediately
4:52
tightened. She put her fork down,
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dabbing at her mouth with a napkin as if
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the food itself had offended her. "Is
4:59
everything okay?" I asked, my voice
5:02
strained. "It's too spicy," she
5:04
declared, then turned to John. "I don't
5:08
know how you can eat anything like this,
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dear. Such spicy food isn't good for
5:11
your stomach.
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Jon shifted uncomfortably, clearly torn,
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offering takeout to make everyone happy.
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I refused. I'd spent hours cooking.
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Linda, still dabbing her mouth, stated,
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"I need something else to eat fast. I
5:28
don't want to starve." The message was
5:31
clear. She wasn't eating my curry.
5:34
The following week, she demanded Jon
5:36
meet her at a coffee shop, despite our
5:38
pre-existing plans. When he said he
5:40
could meet her after our date, she was
5:42
persistent. "Bring her along," she
5:44
insisted. "It's been too long since
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we've spent mother sun time together."
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At the coffee shop, Linda barely
5:50
acknowledged me. As I slid into the seat
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beside John, I felt her eyes rake over
5:56
my simple sundress and sandals. As soon
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as we ordered, she leaned back, a sneer
6:01
playing on her lips. "Well, isn't that
6:05
an interesting choice?" she purrred,
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gesturing at my outfit.
6:09
Not many people would dare to wear
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something like that nowadays, but you
6:13
don't care about standing out, do you?"
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I forced a smile, my cheeks burning. She
6:20
then pointed to a group of women
6:21
impeccably dressed. "Now look at that,"
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she said, gesturing at them. "That's
6:27
what you call chic. It's nice to see
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some people still know how to dress for
6:31
the occasion, don't you think, dear?"
6:34
she added, looking to the uncomfortable
6:36
cashier for agreement. Jon shifted,
6:39
looking apologetic, but remained silent.
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I felt utterly humiliated as time wore
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on. It felt like she was deliberately
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trying to push me out of my own
6:48
relationship to usurp my place as the
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woman of the house. I tried to stand up
6:52
for myself, but Jon always sided with
6:55
her. She's just trying to help, he'd
6:57
say. You know, she means well. Linda's
7:01
intrusions only intensified. It wasn't
7:04
just about controlling Jon anymore. She
7:06
extended her reach into every aspect of
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my life. She'd imply my cooking wasn't
7:11
good enough, casually mentioning, "John
7:14
used to love my spinach casserole."
7:17
During a date night, she'd scrutinize my
7:19
outfit, suggesting something more
7:21
appropriate, leaving me second-guessing
7:23
myself.
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The final straw came one night when she
7:27
stayed over. As we said our good nights,
7:30
she casually mentioned that John always
7:32
performed best at work when he got at
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least 8 hours of sleep. Then the
7:37
chilling pronouncement, "We both should
7:39
be in bed by 10:00."
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Her tone was a command. I could hardly
7:45
believe it. She was dictating my bedtime
7:48
as if I were a child. I began to dread
7:50
her visits. Each one brought another
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round of criticisms, another invasion.
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It was like living with a dictator. The
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worst part, John saw nothing wrong with
8:01
it. He truly believed his mom was just
8:03
being caring and concerned. But I knew
8:06
better. She was trying to control every
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aspect of our lives, and I was utterly
8:11
fed up. Finally, I delivered the
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ultimatum.
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John, I said, my voice steady despite
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the tremor in my hands. You need to
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choose. Me or your mom? I didn't want to
8:24
do it, but I couldn't live like this
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anymore.
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I married you, not your mom. I'm not
8:30
going to continue in a marriage where
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she controls everything.
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John was devastated. He tried to
8:35
convince me we could all get along, that
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I just needed to be more understanding,
8:40
but I stood firm. If you don't set
8:42
boundaries with your mom, I'm done. John
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agreed to talk to her. When he did, all
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hell broke loose. Linda was furious. She
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told him he should never choose his wife
8:53
over his own mother, threatening to cut
8:55
him off.
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John was torn, caught between the two
8:59
women he loved, and it was tearing him
9:02
apart.
9:03
Linda's vindictiveness spiraled. She
9:06
started spreading lies to our friends
9:07
and family, claiming I was trying to
9:10
break up the family and driving a wedge
9:12
between her and John.
9:15
One evening, my phone buzzed. It was
9:18
John's cousin Sarah who'd heard things
9:20
from Linda and wanted to check if they
9:22
were true.
9:24
My heart sank as she relayed Linda's
9:26
claims. I wasn't taking care of Jon. My
9:29
cooking was bad. I dressed
9:30
inappropriately. I kept him up late
9:32
affecting his work. I explained the
9:35
situation, the relentless overstepping.
9:38
Sarah sounded uncomfortable but seemed
9:40
to understand. But Linda wasn't done.
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She took her campaign to my workplace.
9:45
She called my office posing as a
9:46
concerned family member making false
9:48
complaints about my behavior. I was
9:51
blindsided.
9:53
My boss called me in detailing
9:55
concerning reports about my conduct, my
9:58
interactions, my responsibilities. The
10:00
kicker, the complaint originated from a
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phone call from a concerned family
10:05
member who wanted to ensure I was
10:07
performing at my best. It clicked.
10:11
Linda,
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I was forced to take a mandatory
10:14
workplace conduct training course. It
10:17
felt like a public humiliation, a slap
10:19
in the face.
10:21
She almost cost me my job. I was
10:24
terrified.
10:26
That's when I made the hardest decision.
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I decided to get a restraining order
10:30
against Linda. I knew it was drastic,
10:32
but I didn't know what else to do. When
10:35
I tried to serve her with it, she
10:37
absolutely lost it. She became violent,
10:40
pushing me, grabbing my hair. The police
10:43
were called. Linda was arrested for
10:45
assault. Jon was in shock.
10:48
For the first time, he saw the true
10:50
toxicity of his mother's behavior. He
10:53
visited her in jail, desperate to talk
10:55
sense into her, but she refused to
10:57
apologize. She told him he was making a
11:00
huge mistake, that he would regret
11:03
choosing me over her. Jon was
11:05
heartbroken. He knew he had to make a
11:07
choice. It was tearing him apart.
11:10
After a long agonizing conversation,
11:13
John finally decided for the sake of our
11:16
marriage, for his own happiness, he
11:18
needed to cut ties with his mom. It
11:20
wasn't easy. I saw the pain in his eyes,
11:23
but he knew finally that it was the
11:25
right thing to
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