0:00
My father has always been a man who
0:01
believes his words are infallible, his
0:03
humor a gift. For years, those words,
0:06
those jokes have been a weapon aimed
0:08
squarely at me. I weigh 110 lb at 5'3, a
0:13
healthy, even slender frame. He, on the
0:16
other hand, stands 5'5 and tips the
0:19
scales at 240 lb. Yet, he finds it
0:22
endlessly amusing to mock my body, to
0:25
cut me down with cruel remarks about my
0:27
weight. The first time I introduced him
0:29
to my boyfriend, his opening gambit was
0:31
a loud, incredulous declaration. He
0:34
surprised anyone would even date me. The
0:36
worst part, he knows. He knows the deep
0:40
festering wound his words have carved
0:44
In high school, desperate for help, I
0:46
confided in my school counselor. Her
0:49
response, a dismissive laugh. You're
0:52
delusional, she'd scoffed, suggesting
0:54
that my self-image issues warranted a
0:58
That moment, that betrayal by someone
1:01
who was supposed to help, cemented my
1:03
silence. I learned to internalize the
1:06
pain, to pretend his words didn't sting,
1:11
It was an extended family gathering at
1:13
my parents house, a supposed celebration
1:16
that quickly devolved into my personal
1:18
hell. The moment I walked in, my
1:21
father's verbal assault began. "Look at
1:24
how her thighs jiggle," he boomed, his
1:27
voice carrying across the room, drawing
1:29
unwanted attention. "Look at her stomach
1:32
folds when she's sitting. I felt the
1:33
familiar heat rise in my cheeks, the
1:36
prickle of tears behind my eyes."
1:38
I was on the verge of breaking, my
1:40
carefully constructed, emotional walls
1:44
But he wasn't done. He delivered the
1:46
final devastating blow. A remark so
1:49
vile, so utterly dehumanizing that it
1:52
shattered whatever composure I had left.
1:55
"How do you even have a boyfriend?" he
1:57
sneered, a cruel smirk twisting his
1:59
lips. "Is he into whales or something? I
2:02
mean, can he even find the hole at
2:04
that?" At that moment, something inside
2:07
me snapped. The years of silent
2:09
suffering, the internalized shame, the
2:12
counselor's dismissive laughter, it all
2:14
coalesed into a furious, unstoppable
2:17
roar. I stood up, tears streaming down
2:20
my face, my voice raw with pain and
2:24
You, I screamed, pointing a trembling
2:26
finger at him. You weigh more than twice
2:29
what I do. Your gut rests on your
2:31
thighs, and you're insulting me. What
2:33
kind of a dad are you? I hate you. He
2:36
looked around, stunned. his mouth a
2:38
gape. The room fell silent, the laughter
2:41
and chatter replaced by an uncomfortable
2:43
hush. Finally, he found his voice laced
2:47
with indignant authority.
2:49
Excuse me, I am your father. You will
2:52
respect me. If not for me, you wouldn't
2:54
be alive right now. I was sobbing openly
2:57
now, the words tumbling out, desperate
2:59
for an answer. What do you get out of
3:02
humiliating your own daughter in front
3:06
Instead of accountability, instead of a
3:08
shred of remorse, he merely brushed me
3:10
off. "I was only joking," he scoffed,
3:14
waving a dismissive hand. "You need to
3:16
stop being so serious. You can't help
3:18
your body turned out the way it did."
3:21
He then, with infuriating condescension,
3:24
told me to stop being dramatic and
3:26
accept that it's a joke. I didn't stay
3:28
to argue. I fled the house, the shame
3:30
and anger burning a hole in my chest. I
3:34
drove home. tears blurring the road, the
3:37
echoes of his words ringing in my ears.
3:40
By the time I reached my apartment, my
3:42
boyfriend, bless his perceptive heart,
3:45
knew something was terribly wrong. He
3:48
asked what happened and I just broke
3:50
down. The damn finally bursting. I told
3:53
him everything, the public humiliation,
3:56
the relentless mockery, that disgusting
4:00
As I spoke, his face turned a dangerous
4:03
shade of red. His fists clenched, his
4:06
jaw tightened. I had never seen him so
4:08
furious. He pulled me into a tight hug,
4:11
whispering over and over that I didn't
4:13
deserve any of it, that my dad was
4:15
completely out of line, that I was
4:18
perfect just the way I was. It felt good
4:21
to be held, but the sting of the
4:23
betrayal remained. He pulled back, his
4:25
eyes blazing with a protective fury. I
4:29
can't believe he'd say that to you. How
4:31
could he be so cruel? You're beautiful
4:34
and you deserve so much better than
4:38
I could tell he was barely keeping his
4:41
I want to talk to him. He can't keep
4:44
treating you like this. I shook my head,
4:46
wiping away fresh tears. No, please
4:49
don't. It'll only make things worse. He
4:52
won't listen to you, and I don't want to
4:54
create more drama. I just I just want to
4:57
forget about it for a while, please. He
5:00
sighed, the anger slowly deflating,
5:03
replaced by a deep concern.
5:06
All right, if that's what you want, but
5:10
promise me, if he ever says anything
5:12
like that again, you'll tell me right
5:13
away. I can't stand the thought of him
5:16
hurting you like this." I nodded,
5:19
hugging him again, feeling utterly lost.
5:21
As per my boyfriend's request, I tried
5:23
again. I sat my father down, attempted
5:26
to speak to him to make him understand
5:28
the depth of his cruelty. It was
5:31
predictably the same as always. He
5:34
dismissed my feelings, doubled down on
5:36
his jokes, and refused to take any
5:42
My parents came over for a visit,
5:44
unaware that my boyfriend's parents, my
5:46
future in-laws, were also there to
5:48
discuss my 21st birthday plans.
5:51
My dad, seemingly oblivious to the new
5:53
audience, launched into his usual
5:55
routine. I was wearing leggings, I
5:58
rarely wear tight clothes, as they only
6:00
fuel his insults, and was making coffee.
6:03
"Why are your thighs jiggling like
6:05
that?" he shouted, his voice booming.
6:07
"Do you actually train?" "My mother, to
6:10
my horror, laughed, a loud, cackling
6:13
laugh as if it were the funniest thing
6:14
she'd ever heard. Then a sharp smack,
6:17
and my dad yelped." This was common
6:20
between them, a bizarre public display
6:22
of their dysfunctional dynamic. My
6:25
future in-laws, however, remained
6:26
silent, their expressions a mixture of
6:28
confusion and growing annoyance.
6:31
After a few more pinches and comments,
6:33
my boyfriend's dad, a man of quiet
6:35
dignity, finally snapped. He erupted,
6:39
berating my father, calling him a
6:41
pathetic excuse for a father. He told
6:44
him that for years he'd had to ensure I
6:46
was okay because my own father had no
6:48
clue how to raise a child. He called him
6:51
sick for treating his daughter that way
6:53
for damaging me mentally to the point of
6:55
just accepting it. He spoke of the
6:58
countless nights his son had held me as
7:00
I cried myself to sleep over one of my
7:04
The tirade seemed to go on forever. My
7:07
boyfriend soon joining in. His own anger
7:09
finally unleashed. The focus then
7:11
shifted to my mother, who predictably
7:13
tried to switch sides, attempting to
7:18
My boyfriend's mother, a good woman with
7:20
a formidable temper, stepped in. "You
7:23
don't want to upset her," my boyfriend
7:25
had warned me once. She wasn't afraid to
7:28
show that nasty side now. She laid down
7:31
the law. Either they apologized and got
7:33
the funer out, or they no longer had a
7:36
daughter. They apologized.
7:39
My dad, however, still couldn't grasp
7:42
why his jokes were so wrong. "It's what
7:45
fathers do, apparently," he muttered. "I
7:48
cried through the entire ordeal, not
7:51
from the fight itself, but from the
7:53
crushing realization of its futility. I
7:56
was right. It was pointless. He proved
7:59
it today." He came back, a smug smirk on
8:03
his face, and handed me a bag, a bin bag
8:06
with holes cut into it. I got your
8:09
birthday outfit, he announced, his eyes
8:11
glinting with malice.
8:14
You won't actually fit into a dress, so
8:15
I got this bin bag for you. I even made
8:17
the holes bigger for your arms and
8:19
thighs, too. Make sure to wear a belt. I
8:22
froze, the plastic rustling in my hand,
8:25
his smirk burned into my vision. I stood
8:28
there, bag in hand, as he drove away.
8:32
Later today, a message from him. He'd
8:35
found my writing and art. He started
8:37
mocking that, too. He commented on how I
8:40
wish I could be as perfect as the
8:42
characters I come up with. He's right. I
8:45
use writing and drawing as a way to
8:47
cope. I do wish I could be that perfect,
8:50
that confident, normal. But I'm not. I'm
8:54
a screw-up. He made sure to let me know.
8:56
You will never be as good. You don't
8:58
have the gene that's been passed down
9:02
Update two. The reality check and the
9:04
severed ties. I made my dad a gift
9:07
basket with a note. Since he loves to
9:10
read what I write so much and won't
9:12
bother listening in person, this is what
9:15
I wrote to him. Dear Dad, since you like
9:19
my writing so much, I decided to take
9:21
the time and spell this out for you.
9:24
This basket contains many options to
9:26
help you. I've noticed your body has
9:28
lost its good shape and is honestly just
9:30
not pleasing to look at. So, I have
9:32
included many workout pamphlets and
9:34
personal trainer contacts to help you
9:36
with that. One in particular will surely
9:39
help you with that stomach of yours. I
9:42
can only imagine your frustration having
9:44
a daughter that is fitter than her
9:47
Since you clearly love taking your
9:49
frustrations out on me, I highly
9:51
recommend reading through the therapist
9:53
contacts I have included in this basket.
9:55
I will advise you to let mom seek out
9:57
these therapists, too, as her backbone
10:00
is non-existent and she lets awful men
10:02
walk all over her. Fun fact, 110 lbs for
10:06
a woman that is 5'3 is healthy, if not
10:09
bordering on being underweight. However,
10:12
240 lbs for a man in his 50s and is just
10:15
scraping 5 and 5 is concerningly
10:18
overweight. I would suggest taking care
10:20
of that. I would hate for someone to
10:22
start mocking you about it. It is very
10:27
Now, all pleasantries aside, this will
10:29
be the last time you hear from me. This
10:31
will be the last time I call you mom and
10:33
dad. Since I have all of my documents, I
10:37
no longer need to converse with you.
10:39
Your names have been taken off the guest
10:41
list for my 21st that you so graciously
10:43
refuse to help pay for. If you do show
10:46
up, I will have police escort you off
10:50
If you show up at my new house or merely
10:52
follow me to the store, it will result
10:54
in the police being called. If you
10:55
continue this behavior, I will file a
10:58
restraining order against both of you.
10:59
If you would like a reason for this, you
11:01
will have to find it yourself.
11:03
It is quite obvious, but since you are
11:06
so focused on damaging me into
11:08
submission, I fear you will never
11:10
understand. That is not my problem.
11:14
Yes, you did bring me into this world,
11:17
but you are not my parents. I have a
11:19
family and you will never be a part of
11:21
it. Please do take my advice and seek
11:24
help. This is not a joke, Dad. Yours
11:27
truly. The note was rushed, short, but
11:31
it was all I was capable of writing. My
11:34
aunt's phone has been blowing up, but
11:36
she has ignored and blocked their
11:37
numbers. She has even made sure to let
11:40
the rest of our family know what has
11:42
happened and why. As far as I know, they
11:45
have been getting bered and disowned.
11:48
I can't help but feel a little bit of
11:49
pride. After sending the letter, I felt
11:52
a strange mix of relief and anxiety.
11:55
A part of me swelled with pride for
11:57
finally standing up to them, but another
11:59
part was terrified of their retaliation.
12:03
A few days passed in silence, and I
12:05
dared to hope they had finally gotten
12:07
the message. Then came my 21st birthday
12:10
party. I was determined to have a good
12:12
time surrounded by my friends, my
12:14
boyfriend, and his family, who had been
12:17
nothing short of incredibly supportive.
12:20
We'd rented a small hall, and the air
12:22
buzzed with laughter, music, and the
12:24
clinking of glasses. I was starting to
12:27
believe I could actually enjoy myself
12:29
without interruption. But just as we
12:31
were about to cut the cake, I noticed my
12:33
boyfriend's mom whispering something to
12:35
him, nodding subtly towards the
12:36
entrance. My stomach dropped. There they
12:40
were, my parents, standing at the
12:43
doorway as if they had every right to be
12:45
there. My dad wore a forced calm, a fake
12:49
friendliness that I saw right through.
12:52
My mom clung to his arm, looking nervous
12:54
and unsure. My hands began to shake. I
12:58
quickly looked away, praying they
13:00
wouldn't come in and ruin everything.
13:02
Before I could react, my boyfriend, his
13:05
expression stern, walked over to them. I
13:08
couldn't hear his words, but he was
13:10
shaking his head, gesturing towards the
13:12
exit. My dad started to argue, his voice
13:15
rising. A few of my friends exchanged
13:20
My aunt, seeing the brewing storm, got
13:22
up and made her way over. The next few
13:24
moments blurred into a chaotic
13:27
My dad started yelling, asserting his
13:30
right as my parent to be there. My
13:33
boyfriend's dad quickly stepped in,
13:35
trying to diffuse the situation. But my
13:37
dad only grew louder, insisting they had
13:39
come to apologize that I was being
13:43
By this point, everyone at the party was
13:45
watching, and I felt a wave of nausea. I
13:48
saw my boyfriend's mom pull out her
13:50
phone. Within minutes, two security
13:53
guards appeared, seemingly out of
13:54
nowhere. One approached my dad, calmly,
13:57
explaining he was causing a disturbance
13:59
and needed to leave. My dad, of course,
14:01
refused, ranting about his rights. The
14:04
security remained calm, repeating their
14:07
warning, "Leave voluntarily or be
14:09
escorted out." My mom, who had been
14:12
silent until then, suddenly burst into
14:14
tears, begging them to let them stay,
14:17
claiming they just wanted to talk, to
14:19
make things right. But it was too late.
14:22
The damage was done. The security guards
14:25
gave one last warning.
14:27
When my dad still refused, they took him
14:29
by the arm and led him out of the hall.
14:32
I could feel everyone's eyes on me, the
14:35
pity in some of their faces making the
14:37
humiliation even worse.
14:39
My boyfriend came back, wrapping his
14:41
arms around me, whispering that it would
14:43
be okay, that I didn't have to worry
14:48
But the night was already ruined. I
14:50
tried to smile to enjoy the rest of the
14:52
party, but the embarrassment and anger
14:54
were a bitter taste in my mouth.
14:57
The next day, alone at home, I heard a
15:00
knock. Through the peepphole, I saw
15:02
them. My parents. I didn't want to deal
15:05
with them, but I knew they wouldn't
15:07
leave. I opened the door just a crack.
15:11
"What do you want?" I asked, my voice
15:13
flat. "We just want to talk," my dad
15:16
said. "We're sorry," my mom added,
15:19
looking at the ground. "We didn't mean
15:21
to cause a scene. We just wanted to
15:23
apologize and see you." I shook my head.
15:26
It's too late for that. You can't just
15:28
show up whenever you want and expect
15:30
everything to be okay. Please, honey, my
15:33
dad said, his tone, the familiar,
15:35
scolding parent. We're your family. You
15:38
can't just shut us out like this. A
15:40
surge of anger rose. I can and I will.
15:44
You made your choices and now you have
15:45
to live with the consequences. I'm done
15:48
letting you hurt me. My boyfriend, who
15:51
must have heard the commotion, came out
15:52
and stood beside me. She's told you to
15:55
leave. You need to go now. My dad looked
15:58
like he was about to argue, but my mom
16:00
tugged on his arm, pleading with her
16:02
eyes. They turned and walked away. My
16:06
dad muttering something under his
16:08
breath. As soon as the door closed, I
16:13
My boyfriend pulled me into a tight hug,
16:15
whispering that I had done the right
16:17
thing, that I was strong for standing up
16:21
And even though it hurt, I knew he was
16:23
right. I was done letting them control