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i'm a guy of pride once i set my mind
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i've got to accomplish it
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last year i had my mind
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on one thing i had one goal and i was
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the pro card um being able to
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compete as a knife baby pro bodybuilder
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so i went my first show
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plays well in my group stage and then
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when i got into the overall
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just missed out i was a bit i was just
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i didn't know what to do i just
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constantly kept on hearing
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voices in my head you know just telling
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me look you've set your mind
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you've set your goal onto this you need
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you need to achieve it you need to
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accomplish it by the end
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of the year so from doing one shot
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initially planning on doing one show at
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the start of the year and then went
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on to too short and then a free show and
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then fourth show by the end of the year
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seven show and it still didn't
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you know accomplish a goal i had set in
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i was just looking back and just
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thinking everything that i did
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throughout the entire year the whole
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you know all the sacrifices that i've
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all gone to waste at that point i just
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lost it um i just mentally broke down
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you know i got literally got the point
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where i just didn't want to speak to
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leave the house didn't want to do
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anything um even going to work
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my mind just wasn't on it you know i
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just felt like i was just getting
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just to go through the day i then spoke
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and it was like look this is that you
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know this is this is just part of
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the journey um you're gonna fall and
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all about how how you know how how hard
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you come back and how you get up you
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keep kicking yourself because of one
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you know um so then when i heard when i
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heard him say that i was like you know
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i was made for this um and i just need
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to keep my head in the game
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you know um ever since then you know i'd
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and just think of progress because yes
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but it's part of the process
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as a competitor you just you've got to
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on your a game at all time you know
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there's a lot of pressure from
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the judges from the spectators you don't
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want to go on stage looking average
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so there's always a pressure of
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i've got to bring my a-game every single
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time you can't let yourself go even
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during the off-season you've got to be
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in shape because the minute you let
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yourself go the minute you let your
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and start getting comfortable you will
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if i'm starting to let myself go or i've
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injury and i feel like i'm going
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you know i flick through you know i
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flick back through my photos and
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and just say myself look once it's lower
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this is you know this is what i need to
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be back at you know so
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that's mainly what i use is motivation
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i get on social media i got a lot of
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people saying oh do you take this do you
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take this or you're you're on steroids
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or you're on this or that's or not
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but the only thing that matters is
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what you know personally like you don't
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even care what anyone else says if you
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as long as you know the truth and that's
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that's all that matters you don't need
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anyone you know as long as you know um
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the truth about yourself
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and that's all that matters you know
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because at the end of the day only one
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person knows the truth and that's you
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so last year um like i said one of my
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was abroad and i actually traveled to
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and when i got there there was literally
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was the only i was only black guy then i
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i just felt i was just the odd one out
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so i was a bit anxious nervous i was
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will i get judged differently because of
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what not but i just have to reinsure
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think i'm only there for one reason and
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that's just to compete
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and you know whatever outcome that i get
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you know it is what it is
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um and just kind of like just got on
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with it i feel like obviously now it has
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um you know peop there isn't
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lack of um represent representation and
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for like obviously for any black
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you know the minute you step on stage
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you know outsiders applauding you you
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know cheering you up that's real good
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a lot of men you know just like to be
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you know and that could literally be
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going through the worst time
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ever but i'll just pretend everything's
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all fine like you know
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they'd be smiling but deep inside you
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um and i feel like it's just
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it's just something that a lot of people
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need to need to improve on like
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knowing when to be to
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to be open you know and it doesn't have
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to be to everyone but
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it can just be someone that you really
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trust you know whether that's a relative
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your partner you know you've got to
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speak to someone you know you can't just
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holding everything inside because it'll
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get to the point where
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it just explodes it's really important
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to be to be more open about mental
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health um like i said previously it
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it does not have to be to everyone you
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don't need to be open
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about anything to a stranger that you
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meet in the street you know
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but feel free to op to be open
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to someone that you you trust someone
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that you're close to someone that you
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can relate to because
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going for a struggle but then keeping a
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struggle inside or just
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having the fear going for a fear of not
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can just destroy you from inside
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even performing like anything throughout
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the day going to work
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trying to try to do a day-to-day thing
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you know could massively affect you you
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it's really important to get you know to
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be open about it to get it out of your
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to get it off your chest so that someone
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else knows about it and you know that
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you're not you're not battling it
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um on your own and you've got help of
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someone else that you can really trust
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we are stronger together we are my
