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hi everyone I'm Kell ooro and this is adaptable Behavior explained hi
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everybody thank you so much for tuning in today to adaptable I am so excited to have you here today because we are going
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to discuss a topic that's really important especially during the ages of our early 20s and that's identity and
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how identity is shaped based on our experiences and societal expectations
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and all of those things that go into how do I see myself in the world and how am I shaped as a person and I'm really
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excited to have our guest today I've spoken about him on many other episodes this is my youngest son uh Colin ooro
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and he is actually uh becoming a rapper and his uh stage name is Ariah crew and
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so he's currently working on his first album so I'm excited to support that I'm excited to hear from Colin and uh how he
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sees his life experiences help shape who he is so arah tell us a little bit about
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yourself I'll tell you what I definitely have two people living in my head depending on what situation I'm in what
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circumstances I'm dealing with whether or not I'm dealing with business or personal life uh being a rapper I
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usually go by crew so let's try to not slip on Colin I know it's a little hard I came
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from you I know quite we started with that for a long time and I actually call you Parker because I wanted to name you
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Parker I go by many names I lost the I lost the battle on the naming and so I always call you Parker so we're just
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going to confuse it today for sure I'm down to get confused I mean I'm in my 20s like what else are you going to do
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in your 20s um you wake up confused yeah well uh I grew up in a performing art
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school right down the road I originally started from martial arts transition to
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dancing went into hip-hop and overall just ended up evolving into rapping uh
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initially freestyling from shampoo bottles in the shower he was always literally always singing growing up and
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mean he woke up and he was talking or singing pretty much till he went to sleep I would sing down the halls and get bullied for it and then I got good
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at rapping and no one bullied me anymore and I think that's where my identity started to shift from someone that I
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viewed as maybe not as strong or confident which would be Colin and somebody that took the wheel which would
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be crew um orah stems from Arya which is more of a feminine power feminine
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lioness kind of Karate Kid snake energy um and I I ended up just getting crew
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afterwards because it sounds cool and it rhymes with a lot of things it's also like shorter for a T-shirt and yeah it
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is right you can get a cool font with crew maybe some x's at the end um but
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yeah that's my background and I took it from sales I dropped out of college from
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a full ride I was pretty confident in my ability to communicate and to sell and make a living doing that
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and I just ended up being more interested in music so I'm going to try selling selling a r crew as a brand an
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identity right it is an identi and and when you think about you know developing that and I I really appreciate your
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cander in the in the uh you know I have two two people living in my head and
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because I think that really normalizes that we all have parts of ourselves and and I think that it's important that we
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recognize you know we do all have masks we all shape shift we all do things to
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manage our per our identity but when you think about coming into authenticity you
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know that can be a challenge because what is authentically with social media right exactly and we're going to talk
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about that for sure today um but thinking about just the broad picture of identity and how you know when you're in
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your early 20s you know you're leaving home you've been out of home you you're adulting mostly but there's still things
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that we want independence but there's a Reckoning with the dependence that you're still relying insurance doesn't
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until 26 Health yeah health insurance you know it's like there's all these pieces right and you know depending on
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insurance I we might need life insurance based on some of your uh crazy Daredevil sort of antics but U
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true but when we think about identity formation you know I I I really like
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that when you and I have Rich conversation about how you navigate choices in life and and and and who's on
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board when you're making those choices when I say who's on board I'm saying who's driving a certain decision in your life and how do you balance those things
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I'm excited to have this conversation with you today I think we can have a lot uh to offer and I think being in your
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20s is just hard all around uh especially today where there's so many different economic pressures societal
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pressures social media family pressures family pressures yes societal pressures and expectations just generally speaking
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uh can just be burdensome and so I I appreciate you coming on and being willing to do this with me so when you
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think about identity uh and your identity as you're coming into your changes you know I can remember times
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when you've said to me even as recently back as 18 like I can't believe I did this or that when I was 18 that was so
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ridiculous I'm so different now so this will continue to evolve and change just based on the developmental age that
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you're in so when you think about you and how you've grown in the last handful of years what have you recently learned
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about yourself and your own identity I've learned it's not my job to convince people who I really am um I definitely
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struggle with my sense of identity because of the impact that I had on people and the reactions that they would
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give me whether they were positive or negative or just a lack of reaction at all you know if there was someone I like
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to use this metaphor the social hierarchy like social ladder uh my whole life I've been trying to climb that
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right like I'm just from a small town Gilbert Arizona I didn't really feel like I could impact the world to a
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degree I mean I have parents that have impacted their local community and the world to a degree 23,000 subscribers
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right like and you know you set the bar high and so I always tried to fill that
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and I I never filled it through my passions and desires it was always through everyone else's mainly you guys
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and then as I grew into college my peers the people I surrounded myself with so recently I've realized that you're a
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reflection of the people you surround yourself with and so I've just surrounded myself with better people and I've struggled my identity less you know
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more confident people more people have their Journeys their paths their structure and their life it definitely
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rubs off rubs off on me in a positive way yeah that's smart and that's really insightful because we do really become
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who we surround ourselves with when we are and it sounds like that is also more in alignment with what you are working
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toward in your own personal goals and like I always which are Colin's goals right yeah so it's that's that
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amalgamation of things but when I think about you know even when I was a kid playing sports we always would play up
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to the team so if we played a team that was lot better we brought it we brought our game and so I think that that that
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really resonates to me for me as well that you know you really you surround yourself with good people if you want to
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become good people that's 100% that's smart um and when you think about uh the
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evolution of self are there parts of you that you're still trying to figure out or do you feel pretty solid right here
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right now for you I mean I feel like it'd be ignorant to say I'm not trying to figure out anything else uh I'm
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definitely confident with the decisions I've been making recently um the steps I'm trying to take
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as you know a rapper as you know a performer in general someone that's trying to be in front of camera I'm just
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exploring those different Avenues and hopefully I can find find better ways to
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do it um which would probably take Colin stepping up with some discipline but
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oriah crew knows what he's doing for sure does he know too much probably a little bit too much but that's the whole
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thing that we can take it back a little bit of you know I kind of need to know too much around these people cuz they
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know too much right and it's just stepping up otherwise that impostor syndrome would really probably eat your
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face because we're constantly measuring I'm a Ser at Olive Garden like
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let's get real about it you know I have a lot of professional experience with loans and and people I was a door kner
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and then I managed a small team for a little bit and I just didn't love it and
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I didn't that's not what I wanted to do and I felt like I ran it I didn't have any imposter syndrome right um but orah
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KW he's like so you like borrow some confidence in moments where you might have otherwise questioned your validity
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and an experience well now I believe that I'm actually building confidence in others around me through my lack of uh
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desire for validation yeah that external validation can be honestly um cement I
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mean we can really just get Frozen in that need for it and so learning to have that come from the inside I think is
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so incredibly important for any success quite frankly because we're going to get our butts kicked when we're in the arena
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trying things and so yeah that makes me think about you know values that all of us have to have values that we instill
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in order to just figure out our guid poost you know how do we filter our choices so can you tell us a little bit
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about your uh beliefs and values that have helped to guide you my beliefs and values that have helped to guide me um
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authenticity and capability those are my two ones uh if I didn't have those
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tattooed on me forever I wouldn't know what to do right like orah crew can be
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vulgar at times he can be seen as maybe misogynistic um Colin is seen as
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empathetic understanding he can listen he can provide space he has a lot of capacity to deal with everyone um and
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I'm balancing merging those two identities together so it's more of a public face that I can be proud of and
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everyone else can um but but at the end of the day I'm authentic I'm real and I
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know I'm capable to build a brand that is not only valid in all aspects of rap and music but valid through society and
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can have a positive impact on the people around me when you think about what you talk about in your writing with your
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music do do the messages in your music match the values that you embody or is
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that still part of like what you're working to integrate I definitely think it embodies the the brand of music and
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General right like we have artists that you know donate millions of dollars to
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you know Charities and and impact you know the youth at such a positive way and then they talk about and
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money and it's like you know sometimes there's just different Avenues of getting the impact you have and
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unfortunately that's my Avenue that's my that's just what I'm good at it's what I
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grew up around it's the people that influenc me and I enjoy it right I have to say as a mom it's been it's been an
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interesting like internal you know I have this image I mean you know you can
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hear he's well spoken he's Charming he's you know um he's kind he's great with
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children you know when you see as a parent when I see those those attributes in you that's that's my guy like that's
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that's the guy I like to hang out with and everything else and it's interesting because you know Dad and I were driving
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out on to a date the other night and I was listening I had just listened to one of your um
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and it was like you know I'm I'm just like why is he talking about these
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things they it's so vulgar it's so disrespectful it's so whatever and then we we do listen to hip-hop and I threw
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on '90s hip hop and I threw on Snoop Dogg and it was just like it was the same and I looked at dad and I go the
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same I don't judge it when it's him because I don't embody those values but when it's coming out of your baby's
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mouth you're like uh why is he doing this but I had a different level of understanding and I I'm working to
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integrate personally how do I how do I bring those things together stop right
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there it's really who you are as person you're not wrong I'll tell you what like I struggled with putting that stuff out
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online forever right that's always what the digital footprint is forever right and I didn't want to be seen as vulgar
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or disrespectful towards women and then I started seeing more podcasts and documentaries about how these big Brands
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made it in music maybe not only rap but you know even new addition and just looking at these people that have grown
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to be such icons and in the history of Music um their podcasts reflect a
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different person on the inside right and they're there it's for the show I'm
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trying to sell tickets right I'm not trying to prove that I'm a good guy well and if you have a good beat in the background everybody's dancing and
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nobody can even really necessarily hear the lyrics specifically um they're trying to catch a collective energy
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right and I've I've learned how to build crowds of of 100 people on the side of the road youve always the side of the
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road and you know girls will walk by and I will be very very blatant about the
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intrusive thoughts I have about them and they'll sit in the corner and they'll drop $20 in the bucket M and it's like
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do you even know what I just said right and they're not focused on that they were focused on the Charisma and how they felt that you the way you were
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looking at them and the beat that you are so naturally or the Cadence and then I start singing and then I like drop it
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back and we get a little lower in the Bas and you bring crew out and then you being like kind of smooth more like JT
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Vibe you know like you are uh you've always been you know multi-talented when it comes to just even just your genre of
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music you know it's not uncommon for me to walk in and as I develop my brand my genre of music will change over time as
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well sure you know well and I think just like anybody and anything anyone does there's an evolution and and as you know
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as Colin and crew more integrate and there's more confidence like that level of selfness that that is part of growing
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in all of us you know I imagine you know I don't know that I'll see you that that
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Will Smith thing where he never said a swear word you know necessarily although now your
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wife right but you know we see other sides of everyone exactly you know
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sometimes the show slits but that really that really hurt his image because everyone had this picture of who he is
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as a person and then we see this other side of him and um you know he's still dealing with crawling back from that you
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know one mistake and I think that's also disingenuine when it comes to authenticity I think you know why we
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really need to show more of our canable in general is like is why I want to build a brand because if you build a
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brand that's uncan right if you get away with saying more vulgar things and and
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and and just being more of a performer and then you detach your personal life you can't really be cancelled cuz people
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like that's just a character right there's a lot of examples like that today Tosh does a lot of that Tosh you
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know Eminem like so thinking about brand and image and you know the the primary
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it's it's a it's a plus minus social media we have to address that because it's also you know it's how we get known
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but it's also really detrimental in that we can get sucked in and it can become
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too much of our identity our dopamine gets messed up we have another show about that so let's talk about about
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that and I want to know how does social media change the way you view yourself or maybe a little bit about the
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evolution of that topic for you um are we talking about in the past or present day let's talk about now but if there's
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a reflection from the past I think go for it uh present day I have much more of a lock on my use of social media I'm
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trying to look at it at it more as a a railway system to my goals right I've
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completely cut out mindless scrolling um all my algorithm is fairly tailored
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towards Action Sports and music um and I think that has helped me focus more on
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my goals as an individual and why I'm using social media and not necessarily using it to dissociate from my current
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reality and get sucked into it start comparing myself with those around me there's a few examples of friends that I
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have that are making it they're they're very successful now and we started at the same spot and I'm like what did they do that I didn't and I understand that
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they just did it longer they cared less they had better Network around them that they used from their own social media
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and consistent posting maybe uh you know setting better boundaries around the
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people that you're surrounded by right your first five people that you're closest to are going to be who you end
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up hang out with and I think that the people that I've met on social media have given me a false sense of I guess
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you could say clout for a better word a false sense of valid and who I think I am and so I've maybe
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spent time with people that weren't as real as I thought they were um but in the sense of social media in general I
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think that I don't usually have I don't have the same struggles as I would say
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the majority of my peers do I've noticed even as I overhear you at times you're always listening to something about
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learning like how to build a fish tank or and I'm just like you're always learning something and that I think you
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get that from Dad I mean he's always learning something and your natural disposition to want to just you're
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curious and watch how black holes work and then I'll look at the equations behind it and not understand what's
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going on but at least I can convince myself it's better than just consuming mindless content well and if you're
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learning something it's always better I mean we we need to keep learning trying to listen to smart people talk about
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things that I don't understand sure and that's how I think social media should be used that's how I think media in
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general should be used can you think of a time where social media really influenced a decision that you
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made um yeah 100% I struggled with a lot of vanity uh when I started doing Tik
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Tok I got a couple videos that popped off and I think I got like I don't know 50,000 followers and a couple of months
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and hindsight um that's really nothing especially if you don't have a brand
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it's really just validation um but at the time I was like I'm going to make it big I'm going to drop out of college I'm
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going to film content with my best friend we're going to go travel out of our cars in California and we're going
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to film content and post it and the moment that I dropped out of college and
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I moved uh to my car um in San Diego we
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filmed everything we did didn't edit a single video and didn't post anything they're just archives and my camera room
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and I lost my traction and then I started putting together like you know tip Fort videos and without any story
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without any context and my view count went down and I felt really bad about myself I started really focusing on how
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I looked a lot um in the present day and like without social media and I was like maybe if I try harder and I try
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different content or I look prettier then maybe I'll be more successful and
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that led me down a very very yeah that's a dark hole very dark hole like well and so much external validation which is
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what it's designed for I mean the algorithms are literally for that they want to suck you in and they want you to be driven by that algorithm and it's
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it's how they're made I totally was yeah and I see it every day still mhm it's hard you have to have that ins Main in
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women so you we're talking about it took you to a really dark place and that you know as uh being a child of now two
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counselers and not really hold on run that back cameras I have two therapist
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PS so that comes you know what that means it's a lot of challenges that I'm
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sure you it's a lot of data yeah it's a lot of data that you may or may not want maybe this is the origination of crew
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you're like I don't want any more of this balance and mental heal about balance and mental health and empathy
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but so what you think about going through a dark place and being in that um in that space um you know with the
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social media polls and things like that can you tell us a little bit about how you manage or keep keep a check on your
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mental health because you are you know going into an industry where external validation is literally there's a lot of
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drugs there's a lot of women there's a lot of access you know uh and the party never stops and I sucked I got I fell
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into that a lot in uh Scottdale actually Hometown you know I started getting into the promoting world and you know it
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started slipping and it's because I didn't have access to my hobbies my normal Hobbies right like rapping is was
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one of my hobbies now it's hopefully going to be my profession but I have a lot of other ones you know I snowboard i
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surf um I sing as well and at the end of the day I I just love I love the
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outdoors I love water if it's frozen if it's liquid whatever it is I want to be on top of a board on it and that stuff
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usually Che keeps me in check you know like taking time alone or even with friends without substance and really
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tapping into uh to cins hobbies and not oriot Cru right and that's how I kind of
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separated it out uh with my mental health and I think it's doing I think I'm doing good awesome well how do you
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know when it's not good like what what are the signs that you see cuz I think this can help other people key in who
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haven't had two parents as counselors you know drilling this into them their whole life how do you know when your mental health is not in check what what
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happens for you uh check out you know what's that look like um checking out to
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me is essentially get like you know like
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sleeping in too late right uh instead of watching one episode I'm watching three
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right I'm losing valuable hours of time then I'm more tired in the morning and then you know I'll skip on some of my
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responsibilities because we talked about it earlier you know when you start to get into your early 20s I'm about to be
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23 you know my car is paid off right I have a place to live I have a job you
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know I have my structure and you know you start to forget about things like filing your taxes or you know cleaning
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your car or you know maintenance on your car like the Small Things admin work setting up goals for the next week right
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that can start slip by the wayside and that's how I know that I start to fall into more of a performance of life as
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opposed to an active goal on what life should mean and the impact I want to
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have on those around me right that's awesome so like I end up just getting into this performance mode where as long
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as people are laughing or smiling around me then I'm good that goes back to that
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external influence it's like I'm going to go rely on that thing again but it's just a Band-Aid on a broken ankle it doesn't really work bandaid on a broken
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ankle A Perfect Analogy you know and I I have a lot of people that are willing to
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put Band-Aids on my ankles and so when you're a performer I think that's what
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most most artists in general struggle with you know even you know most
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20-year-olds that have nothing to do with Artistry you know social media kind of turns everyone into some sort of um
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fake persona that you feel like you have to keep up and I think that really I think that resonates with everyone not
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even just me that's that's a great that's a great point when you think about stress I mean we're all faced with stress and and it's
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an inundation and you're in you know you're striving for a profession that is really there's no guarantees and there's
23:41
no if I do this if I do this if I do this if I do this then this right I mean it's it's there's a lot more uncertainty
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and I'm sure that brings a certain amount of stress there's no like by this date I should have this like you know if
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you go a more traditional route for your your career choices so how do you how do you handle stress what do you do for
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management of stress do you want an authentic answer I want I want I want
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you know you know maybe Colin could answer Colin uh I mean Colin and a riah
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crew I like to smoke um and I handle stress usually by sitting in a chair
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it's pretty simple I have this analogy and I bought this chair it's $150 on Amazon it's the greatest thing I've ever
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bought in my life I made a Tik Tok about it I'm sobbing um I'm on mushrooms during it
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like it was a very very pivotal moment for me but the analogy is essentially
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this old man was sitting in front of me and he was watching everyone on the beach and I was sitting about 20 ft
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behind him watching the old man and I was sitting there for an hour and a half going what does that guy have that I
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don't have why is he so peaceful I just realized he had a chair that was about
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it and I started thinking about that materializing you know that data into a thesis that's basically like he's not
25:02
thinking about anything he has his spot no one's going to take that spot from him he's probably spent a lot of time in
25:08
that chair thinking about thinking thinking about what other people are thinking thinking through whatever is
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happening in his brain to the point where there's probably nothing really going on he's just in a state of
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observation and pres presence he was just present in the moment and uh at the
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time I needed a chair to do that you know I've go to parties and I bring out this little umbrella chair and pull it
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up I sit down people are like who are you like you have this spot you're totally chill you seem confident I'm not
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confident I'm sitting in this chair like who are these people what's going on but I'm quiet and I'm just observing those
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thoughts right and that's how I deal with the stress I sit down if I'm stressed out I sit down I look at what's
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around me just slow it down and I just slow it down that's awesome and then I end up forgetting what I was stressed about and then people will come up and
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they're like well you take in the present moment dude you're in a chair that's so cool like what the or they think I'm weird but I don't care cuz
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they're not taking this spot from me you know yeah so with the pressures
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of you know your your current age and this profession that you're you're leaning toward and you think about
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expectations of society you know we all have them we all are um we all end up
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with those expectations as part of the voice in our head and I wonder for you how do those expectations affect your
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life the expectations from what the people around me I would say more societally like if you look at you know
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oh my gosh PE influence what does that do for you at this point I've kind of tried to flip the script I've tried to
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influence my peers um I would say the majority of my close friends know they
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can't influence me unless they're pointing a shot at tequa you know like like I'm pretty like I'm pretty set in
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my ways um you you know this you you have an experience with this um you can
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probably speak on it more than I can because I just check out you know I'm like if someone's saying something I
27:06
don't want to hear that I don't think applies to me I'm like next defensive
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you could call it defensive but then I'll go sit in my chair it's hard to be defensive if you're in a chair not
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saying anything removing yourself from the emotional pull of a not the
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emotional stress of rejection the emotional stress of how how I think they're receiving me and it may be an
27:30
unhealthy adoption but it's definitely helping me you know kind of block out the noise of society's expectation on
27:38
who they think I should be you know I'm a singer and someone will hear me sing and they're like you should sing instead
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of rap and it's like should I mhm you're not me like why why do you think that is
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it cuz you cuz I'm pretty and you expect that that I fit that image better or like you know I literally had someone
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the other day say dance Mony dance like like society's expectations are not
28:02
something I'm concerned about at this point like if I'm in a restaurant I will put my feet on the table I'm at a
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podcast it's professional and I just don't care like who's going to judge that they might think it's just respectful but they're not my audience
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right that's fair and I think I run into that sometimes too I'm like I don't want to eat by your feet can you put your
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feet down and I'll set a boundary and I'm just like okay I have to set pretty simple
28:27
boundaries like really and that's well but what I'm saying is like to I think people get stuck on that because why
28:33
should I have to tell you not to put your feet by my food that seems inconsiderate you know so I think that's
28:38
where we run into moments where and that might not feel inconsiderate to you if I
28:44
put my feet by your food but the majority of my friends will just put their feet up too and the majority of my
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friends will not put their feet by my food we're in different professions it's fair that's fair um have you ever felt
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pressured to be someone you're not um yeah yeah usually in context of drugs
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um mainly in adolescence um you know as I've grown
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into a more talented individual which I would like to say experienced actually
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um I've struggled with that less but I wasn't always like this you know I wasn't always good at snowboarding I
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wasn't always good at surfing I wasn't always good at at rapping right um and so feeling pressured to fit those uh
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groups that I always wanted to be a part of were was was really taxing on who
29:39
Colin was and how I wanted to be authentic and capable you know kind of mirroring those around me um to try to
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fit in that's something everyone struggles with belong belonging is always an issue especially at those
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young age those formative years it's everything yeah it really is I definitely feel um pressure uh to this
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day but it's definitely not as severe and it's usually in more of a uh
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professional setting you know like people that have more established businesses than I do more established brands that make more money than me sure
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uh they view me as someone that has the same potential but maybe not the same drive or maybe not the same um you know
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goal Driven Life that they had and so it's hard for me to some times be around
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that too much cuz I'll start to be self-deprecating in my mind you know I won't let them see it m you know cuz I
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want to continue to be around them and they don't want people dragging them down so um I'm definitely there to
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uplift people like that but that would I would probably say is not as genuine as
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what I'm thinking right you've always been someone who my experience of you has always been someone who's genuinely
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inclusive though um you know if you saw someone sitting by themselves you would be the first to go up and check in and
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see how they were even if they weren't part of you know your social group uh and that's one of the traits that I've
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always found really admirable in you is just genuine like you're very non-judgmental and you're very I'm
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grateful that you said that but I wouldn't I wouldn't necessarily say that as as true anymore um I I feel as if I
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instead of trying to draw them in through personal contact and connection I try to draw them in through building a
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crowd right cuz people like that feel more more comfortable in a crowd um and if they don't it's not my market
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unfortunately I think I was just talking more about like who you are as a person as someone who's kind and inclusive I
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hear how upful right I'm never I'm never you know putting anyone down um unless
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it's obviously you know ironic or some sort of joke but I definitely am not as
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um driven to make sure everyone feels included that's not the mo ation Isn't
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So codependent at this point yeah right honestly yeah album codependency coming out
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soon yeah so well we have more to talk about uh several other topics but we're
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going to have to make that a second show so uh for those of you who are enjoying this conversation tune in for the second
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episode of this um this topic on identity Colin thank you so much for being on this show with me for those who
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don't catch the next episode I just want to give you accolades for showing up and being flexible and patient with this
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process and I I really appreciate the words of wisdom that I think you're going to be able to in um offer those in
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your same age and just the challenges that come with this part of development and I appreciate your authenticity with
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that and um so in the meantime don't forget to lead with love it'll never
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steer you wrong [Music]