0:00
i can't think about doing it with my
0:01
whole closet and then I have to try
0:03
everything on and then I have to deal
0:04
with like shame if something's too tight
0:06
or it doesn't fit or whatever when it's
0:08
an easy situation or an easy question
0:11
like there like a shirt is pilly that's
0:13
easy enough for me to put in the
0:14
donation pile but if it kind of fits or
0:16
I liked it once or I remember going
0:18
somewhere in it and I liked the
0:20
experience it it becomes overwhelming to
0:22
me so I think trimming down that first
0:24
step is a good example about I might
0:26
recognize there's an issue that I want
0:27
to change and the overwhelm of doing my
0:30
whole closet seems like too much and so
0:32
then I'm frustrated every time I go to
0:33
get dressed take a small step i think
0:36
that's the other piece that we want to
0:38
talk about is just taking a small step
0:40
starting somewhere i think we can all
0:42
relate to that what I'm seeing in my
0:45
mind as we talk about it region beta
0:48
paradox right is what we're talking
0:50
about is moving the threshold of
0:52
discomfort sure and that's almost you
0:56
almost just illustrated the
1:00
unconscious reaction to staying
1:03
underneath that threshold mhm so you
1:07
know I can go in my closet and I see
1:08
stuff on my floor and as long as I can
1:11
safely step over and navigate it without
1:13
putting a footprint in my favorite what
1:15
right then then I can I can go okay it's
1:18
fine it's fine it's fine because the big
1:21
thing of cleaning the closet is
1:23
overwhelming and what I've heard you
1:24
describe is well chunk up the progress
1:27
so that I can do the littlest amount of
1:30
action as possible without having to
1:32
cross the threshold m and what I would
1:35
challenge you to consider is think of a
1:38
time that for whatever reason maybe we
1:41
were moving and you had no choice but to
1:43
go into the closet and then you went
1:46
into the closet and you cleaned it right
1:48
how good did you feel after you took
1:51
that big step so so the the piece to
1:54
take away from this is what does it take
1:57
to take action to cross the threshold
2:00
because we believe going over that
2:02
threshold causes pain and discomfort and
2:05
uncertainty and we avoid it and so we
2:06
avoid it it's a riskmanagement strategy
2:08
and we avoid it so we either do kind of
2:10
what you just described which is we
2:12
lower the threshold we take smaller
2:14
bites we do everything in our
2:15
unconscious power to stay on this side
2:19
of the threshold because we believe
2:21
crossing the threshold is is too hard
2:24
it's not worth it it's going to my
2:26
closet isn't bad enough if it's
2:27
organized enough and that that
2:28
discomfort will last a long time but the
2:32
inverse is true what what the peculiar
2:35
longevity of things not so bad tells us
2:37
what this region beta paradox is is
2:39
we're actually prolonging the discomfort
2:41
by staying on the on this side of the as
2:44
you're talking about it i'm imagining
2:45
giving up part of my weekend and just
2:47
doing it and then thinking about how
2:50
good I feel that it's just been handled
2:52
and every time I go to get dressed I'm
2:54
proud of myself which motivates future
2:56
behavior i'm excited about it and that's
2:59
great because you're to you're tapped
3:00
into your dopamineergic system and and
3:02
you can imagine having done that enough
3:05
that you know I know I will say that
3:07
were hard that I know what it feels like
3:08
but so many people that get stuck in the
3:11
region beta zone and they don't cross
3:14
that comfort that threshold of
3:16
discomfort until it's too bad i think
3:19
they build up more associations with
3:21
avoiding things that are too bad i would
3:24
they don't always redo their calculus
3:25
and go "Oh wait a minute that wasn't so
