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hi everyone I'm Kell ooro and this is
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adaptable Behavior explain several uh
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great books that one could read if
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they're struggling codependency no more
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is a good one we'll drop those in the
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comments below the subtle art of not
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giving a f in its asteris asterisk CK so
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that's a more recent one that's a really
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pretty good read about how to deal with
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codependency traits But ultimately
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there's uh some strategies that can
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complement help with a professional like
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getting help with a in a support group
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or dealing with things with education or
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workshops or classes so now I'm going to
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talk about some strategies to address
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codependency so we talked about what the
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problems are and characteristics and
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behaviors of someone who struggles with
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codependency but now we're going to talk
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about some strategies to address it so
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hopefully this helps you the first thing
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is having self-awareness do you even
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recognize these patterns in yourself
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acknowledging that you might have some
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of these traits and tendencies reflect
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on your patterns of behavior both
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independently and relation and in
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relationships educate yourself you're
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doing that right now you're learning
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about codependency you're learning about
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underlying causes you're understanding
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how codependent Behavior can negatively
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impact your life and relationships
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learning how to set boundaries
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establishing and uh enforcing healthy
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boundaries IES is Paramount to
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recovering from codependency so learning
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to say no and learning to say yes only
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when you want to without feeling guilty
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or anxious self-care is critical
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oftentimes codependency we are so
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focused on everyone else that we forget
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to take care of ourselves so
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prioritizing self-care is necessary
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things like exercise relaxation
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mindfulness reading but making time for
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activities or hobbies that bring you Joy
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and fulfillment seeking th y I'm a huge
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uh fan of practicing what I preach and
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so going to therapy whether it's in a
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group setting or support groups or
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individual therapy building a support
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network of friends and family that want
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to support your Healthy nose and you
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learning how to kind of put your oxygen
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mask on first is essential to your
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recovery and like I said attending
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support groups or even social media
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groups where people have some of these
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issues in common and you can get some
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support from them learning to develop
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Independence is pretty important with
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this topic developing your own interests
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goals identifying outside things outside
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of relationships that bring you Joy
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cultivating your own sense of selfesteem
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that's not dependent on somebody else
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needing you or other people being okay
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and self-worth that's independent from
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that external validation is so critical
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improving your communication skills
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taking a Communications course
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understanding that assertive
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communication is the best way to get
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your needs met it's not a guarantee it's
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not 100% But ultimately that's our best
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shot at getting our needs met and then
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first knowing what it is that we need in
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order to be able to express that
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challenging the negative thoughts that
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you might have about yourself that
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contribute to codependency like I'm not
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enough or I'm not a good mom if I don't
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fold all my kids clothes and ultimately
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if I do that I'm going to contribute to
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their inability to fold their clothes as
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an adult when they're dealing with all
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of their other UH responsibilities and
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so we want to not have enabling Behavior
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so we want to challenge those negative
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beliefs and replace those thoughts with
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self-compassion we need to practice
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Detachment so learn to detach from
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problems or decisions of others that's
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about them this is about me I'm separate
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and apart from them and I can recognize
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that I can't control or change the
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behavior of someone else and there's a
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lot of freedom in accepting that
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gravitating toward and learning to have
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healthier relationships so this can be a
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hard or tricky part when you're learning
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this because you May recognize that some
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of the people that you're in
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relationships with now are not healthy
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and if you want to gravitate towards
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people with healthier um behaviors and
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less codependent behaviors sometimes
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that creates uh disconnection or loss in
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unhealthy relationships or talk toxic
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relationships and then we want to
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celebrate celebrate progress when you
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have small wins we want to celebrate
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that because these deeply ingrained
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rooted behaviors that we learned
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sometimes Generations old are hard to
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change and so you want to give yourself
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Grace and celebrate progress when you've
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made progress because baby steps and
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small wins it's progress not Perfection
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so I hope that you've learned something
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today about codependency how this
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happens in our family systems
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dysfunctional families how most of us
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have somewhat dysfunctional families
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even though we're all doing the best
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that we can with what we learned um and
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of course those learnings are often
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times unhealthy so we pass those down to
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we also talked about characteristics and
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behaviors uh that are often accompanied
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with codependent traits and then some
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strategies to help undo these patterns
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of behavior in our lives so thank you so
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much for tuning in and I hope that you
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move forward and Lead With Love it'll
