0:00
at first it may seem odd to imagine
0:02
becoming frustrated with a partner for
0:04
being overly reasonable or logical
0:06
during a discussion after all we tend to
0:08
Value logic and rationality how then
0:11
could these qualities become problematic
0:13
in the context of love when we Face
0:15
difficulties what we often seek from our
0:17
partner isn't a solution but a sense of
0:20
understanding and emotional connection
0:22
we're looking for Comfort reassurance
0:24
and empathy not logical explanations in
0:27
these moments a partner's excessively l
0:30
iCal response can feel less like
0:31
kindness and more like thinly veiled
0:34
impatience take for example someone who
0:36
confides in their partner about a fear
0:38
of heights logically they know the
0:40
balcony won't collapse it's wellb built
0:43
and secured by experts but this
0:45
knowledge doesn't soothe their anxiety
0:47
if the partner responds by explaining
0:49
the laws of physics the anxious person
0:51
won't feel reassured instead they'll
0:53
feel misunderstood the problem isn't
0:55
rational so a rational response misses
0:58
the point many of our worries are like
1:00
this they may not be reasonable but they
1:02
feel real nonetheless we might feel
1:04
guilty about not doing enough for our
1:06
parents even if we've been attentive and
1:08
caring we may worry about money despite
1:10
being financially secure or feel
1:12
unattractive even when others don't
1:14
share that view we might obsess
1:16
overpacking for a trip fear giving a
1:18
speech or feel like a failure despite
1:21
evidence to the contrary when we share
1:23
these feelings logical reassurances like
1:27
reminders that we've packed everything
1:29
or that public speaking isn't
1:31
lifethreatening can feel dismissive or
1:34
even condescending it's as though our
1:36
partner is implying that our fears are
1:38
irrational making us feel as if we're
1:39
not sane What's Happening Here is not a
1:42
failure of intelligence but a lack of
1:44
emotional Insight an excessively logical
1:47
response overlooks the complexities of
1:49
human psychology of course our fears
1:52
often stem from irrational places
1:54
childhood experiences buried shame or
1:57
unresolved emotional pain these these
2:00
concerns may not align with conventional
2:02
logic but they follow an internal
2:04
emotional logic that deserves empathy
2:07
when a partner responds to our pain with
2:09
cold reason it's not that we want them
2:11
to abandon logic entirely rather we want
2:14
them to use their intelligence to offer
2:16
comfort and understanding we want them
2:18
to recognize the weird messy aspects of
2:20
Human Experience including their own and
2:22
meet us there we need them to
2:24
acknowledge our fears offer consolation
2:27
and remind us that things will probably
2:30
sometimes however a partner's overly
2:32
logical responses might not be
2:33
accidental they may be a subtle form of
2:36
retaliation perhaps the partner has
2:38
tried to be empathetic in the past but
2:39
felt ignored or unappreciated their
2:42
detached reasoning might be a way of
2:44
signaling unmet emotional needs if two
2:46
people were being truly logical in the
2:48
deeper sense fully attuned to emotional
2:51
complexities they might set aside the
2:53
argument about why are you being so
2:55
rational and instead ask have I hurt or
2:58
neglected you in some way way that would
3:01
be an application of true logic one that
3:03
seeks understanding Fosters connection
3:05
and supports the emotional needs of both
3:07
Partners have you ever experienced a
3:09
moment where logic felt like the wrong
3:11
response in love how do you balance
3:13
reason with emotional understanding in
3:15
your relationships let us know your
3:17
thoughts in the comments below if this
3:19
video resonated with you like subscribe
3:22
and share it with someone who might
3:23
benefit from this perspective visit
3:26
happily lover for more insights into the
3:28
complexities of love and connection