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on a first date with someone we like we
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naturally hope the evening goes well
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there's no shortage of advice for
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Success don't monopolize the
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conversation be funny and light ask
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questions without prying choose a cozy
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restaurant Italian perhaps leave a
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generous tip and of course wear nice
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shoes it's understandable to feel
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nervous after all we're attempting
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something both strange and challenging
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seducing another person not just in the
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narrow sense of enticing them into
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physical intimacy but in the broader
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more meaningful sense getting them to
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like us and consider us as potential
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long-term Partners a date after all is
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essentially an audition both parties are
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quietly imagining each other as someone
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they could share a future with so how do
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we present ourselves as someone they
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might want to be with what do we need to
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do to get them on board there are two
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Central priorities to consider one show
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that you have a good relationship with
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yourself this doesn't mean boasting
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about how wonderful or exciting your
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life is statements like I love paris's
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museums or I'm excellent at swimming in
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moonlit Lakes might sound impressive but
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they don't convey much about whether
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you'd be pleasant or even bearable to
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live with daytoday what makes someone
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attractive as a potential partner is
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their ability to recognize and handle
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their own imperfections this doesn't
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mean putting your flaws on full display
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like snapping at the waiter crying over
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an old Grudge or endlessly complaining
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about a workplace insult that's
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unchecked weakness instead what's truly
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Charming is demonstrating weakness
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handled with strength for example
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casually admitting you know coming here
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made me a bit nervous conveys both
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self-awareness and confidence or saying
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after that I had a little temper tantrum
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with myself in a calm and humorous tone
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shows you can reflect on and learn from
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your less impressive moments these
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admissions signal I have flaws but I
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also have the maturity to manage them
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gracefully at the heart of this kind of
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self-revelation is the idea I'm a bit
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crazy easy but I'm sane enough to tell
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you about it in a modest undramatic way
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it suggests a healthy balanced
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relationship with your own imperfections
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which is deeply reassuring two show
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tenderness and realism toward the other
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person it might seem seductive to convey
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adoration hinting that you find the
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other person exceptionally attractive or
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accomplished but being too overtly
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admiring can be unsettling most people
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are acutely aware of their own flaws and
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know they don't deserve intense praise
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excessive adoration can feel
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disingenuous or create pressure to live
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up to an ideal instead seduction lies in
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showing that you genuinely like the
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other person while also seeing them
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realistically this means appreciating
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their strengths while recognizing and
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accepting their vulnerabilities toward
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the end of the evening a gentle tease
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might do the trick for example I suppose
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you stayed under the duvet feeling a bit
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sorry for yourself after that said with
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a warm smile of course this shows that
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you like them not because you're blind
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to their flaws but because you can
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accept and forgive them with affection
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this approach is seductive because it's
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reassuring it signals that you're
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capable of seeing someone for who they
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truly are both their strengths and
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frailties and liking them anyway we
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don't seek admiration as much as we long
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to be fully known and still loved what
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truly seduces many things can be
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exciting in the moment but
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self-awareness and perceptive generosity
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are the most deeply seductive traits
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they suggest suest that life with you
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could be not only bearable but enriching
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these qualities indicate that you have
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what it takes to embark on a long
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beautiful and sometimes painful Journey
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with another person a journey that
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extends well beyond the first date what
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qualities do you find most attractive on
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a date how do you balance showing your
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strengths while being authentic share
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your thoughts in the comments below if
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this video gave you a new perspective
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like subscribe and share it with someone
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preparing for their next big date visit
3:58
happily lover for more insights into
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relationships and emotional growth
