Up next in 10
Anne-Marie joins us for No Filter to chat about her new single 'Depressed', how she looks after her mental health and the struggles she's faced as a new mum.
#annemarie #motherhood #newmum #parenting #mentalhealth #depression
Subscribe for regular entertainment! http://bit.ly/1qyfc2T
Watch videos in full + exclusives here: https://thisisheart.co/heartglobalplayer
Honest Celebrity Interviews: https://thisisheart.co/honestinterviews
Music Artists: https://thisisheart.co/3YVm8wN
Film and TV Stars: https://thisisheart.co/filmandtv
_
We're the UK's biggest commercial radio brand creating memorable moments with the most recognised names in entertainment!
Show More Show Less View Video Transcript
0:00
I feel like I'm trying to be like the perfect mum
0:03
There's just so much that happens in a day that you can't control
0:08
It's just a really hard job to be a mum. Hey I'm Anne-Marie and this is No Filter
0:17
Well, when I sat down in the writing session for this song
0:21
I was kind of thinking about what to write about. I feel like I'm over the hate your ex movement
0:30
which I've done for years. And I just wanted to be really real
0:35
to what I'm going through now. And sometimes that's scary, and I do it as much as I can, and as honest as I can
0:44
And I did that with this song. It wasn't a plan to put it out
0:48
It was actually, we were planning to release music next year. So I just kind of threw this out on TikTok
0:56
just to see if people liked it. And they did and it is..
1:00
I mean, I know a lot of people are going through stuff
1:05
but I think when you see it in real time, the response to a song like that and the comments
1:12
it just blows your mind to know that we're all the same
1:18
I feel like that's what's made me feel more than anything, is that we're like... You don't feel alone
1:23
And I think it's really important and it reminds me to keep writing songs about what I'm really going through because people are going through the same, unfortunately
1:35
they? Yeah I mean I wrote this song like two months ago so it's very now and I
1:46
just remember sitting there going what am I actually going through and I've felt
1:52
depression in so many different ways in my life and it's all different feelings
1:57
and sometimes it's hard to like pinpoint what it actually is because you think
2:02
oh is it anxiety, is it this, is it this and it all comes under that umbrella of depression
2:09
I recognised it in lockdown and then after I had my first baby that's when the postnatal depression
2:17
happened. So it felt like a very true thing to talk about and something that I'm trying
2:24
and have tried to articulate as well as I can, but also tried to make it sound a little bit cheery
2:33
Because I weirdly like writing sad songs that feel happy and they're a bit confusing
2:41
but my aim of this song was just to hope that people
2:45
that are feeling a bit low at the moment could listen to the song and for like three minutes feel a little bit happier That was my goal I don feel like it a weight no I feel like it almost a weight lifted because it something that I been able to actually express
3:03
and I can now sing it every day and feel a little bit better
3:08
But also, I guess what I'm going through now and being a new mum, I think when other mums come forward
3:14
and say, I'm three months off to giving birth and this is exactly how I feel
3:18
I just feel like, well, thank God I've written it for them to maybe understand it better
3:25
Because when it was lockdown, I remember feeling sad, but it wasn't crying
3:35
And I always thought that being sad was physically crying. And I felt a new world of sad
3:43
And I was like, what is this? because I always related sadness to crying
3:50
And that's when I knew that it was a little bit deeper than just crying
3:54
And then, yeah, it's been a journey. And I know that people are in different phases of it
4:02
and some people are just recognising it, some people have had it for years and hopefully
4:08
yeah, this song makes them feel heard and seen. What do you think about mental health
4:14
Yeah, I think the reason why I share so much online is because when I was younger and I
4:22
was feeling maybe alone or a bit rubbish, I feel like I didn't know anything about mental
4:31
health and I didn't know anyone else that felt the same. And I just, as soon as mental health started becoming more of a talking point and people started talking about it, it made me understand myself better and helped me out
4:47
So I think the goal of mine is to, whether it's about body confidence, bullying
4:52
anything that I've experienced, I want to talk about it. Because if that helps someone understand and recognise a feeling that they're having
5:02
and knows that they can get help with it or it gets better, then I want to talk about it
5:11
My support system in life right now is my therapist. family, my partner, my babies. I think you have to almost see it though because I think a lot of the
5:29
time, especially if you've expressed it to people, I think everyone around you is trying to help but
5:36
sometimes when you're low you don't think that they are and you feel alone but I think what I've
5:41
What I been trying to do is notice that people are a positive thing in my life and every day I wake up and I got my babies and every day I wake up and someone come around to help me just deal with something really basic in
5:57
the day and I'm trying to really appreciate that and see the happiness in that so yeah it's up and down
6:07
I'm quite bad with boundaries I'm not gonna lie I struggle with that and I
6:17
speak to my therapist about it all the time but I think it's hard because as a
6:22
kid I didn't talk to anyone and I didn't let anyone know how I was feeling and I
6:28
think I almost flip-flopped the other way completely and overshared everything and it became really difficult to keep some things to myself
6:39
and, like, deal with some things. And it all just became about saying it
6:45
And I think what I'm trying to do at the moment is put some boundaries in place, you know
6:51
like protect myself, protect my energy, but also share. But, yeah, boundaries is a hard one to do
7:00
especially if you're, like, a people pleaser because you don't want people to..
7:03
to not like you and you feel like if you don't do something then they won't like you
7:09
So it's all a bit of a mix. If I was to talk to my younger self, I would probably say to try not to feel shame
7:23
I think shame is such a bad thing to feel and it stopped me from talking to anyone
7:33
It was just like the bad feelings of embarrassment, scared of being judged, the shame
7:39
And it just is so overwhelming that you don't talk. And I think once you realise that all that is doing
7:48
is trying to stop you from being better and happier, and as soon as you say it to someone, anyone
7:56
it can be literally your dog. Like, if you say it out loud, if you write it on a piece of paper
8:02
if you have a therapist, if you don't, if you have your parents, if you have a best friend
8:06
if you have a stranger on the bus, if you're just chatting
8:11
as soon as you say something it is about 99% less scary than you thought it was
8:18
So I would always say speak it and don't be ashamed. Thinking of myself has always been difficult and especially now with babies because you know they come first to me and that often means I don think about me so again really recently I been trying to do stuff that makes me feel better
8:50
Because I know that if I feel better, my babies are happier
8:54
So it's just doing it. So like, I went to the gym for the first time the other day
9:01
And today I'm going to the dentist. And I'm slowly trying to implement things that I used to do all the time without care
9:09
that now all of a sudden feel so hard to do. So I'm slowly doing stuff remembering that if I don't look after myself
9:19
then I can't give people anything. I think when my kids are older I'm going to always be very open with them
9:32
about talking about anything, honestly, anything and everything because I feel that when I was younger, I didn't feel like I could
9:44
So I want them to understand things. I want them to find their own way in things
9:51
But I also want them to know that I will never judge them for anything
9:55
And that's a really big thing to me. And from suffering with major social anxiety
10:01
I'm trying my hardest to make that not reflect onto my daughter at the moment
10:09
So I'm trying to make her as confident as she can be
10:12
just so she never has to feel what I feel. It's hard because I'm, again, speaking to my therapist about parenting
10:20
that's called good enough parenting because I feel like I'm trying to be the perfect mum
10:27
There's just so much that happens in a day that you can't control
10:32
It's just a really hard job to be a mum and trying to teach as much as you can
10:39
but also not suffocate in what you've experienced and try and protect her from experiencing it
10:46
because she does need to. So it's like a, I need to get, I'm still working on it
10:56
Oh, God. I hope that the world looks optimistic and free and I'm sure there's going to be aliens
11:11
around us at that point so we're not going to have a clue
11:15
But yeah, I'm hoping that it's free and I don't feel attacked every day and yeah, it's
11:25
big question but yeah I'm hoping that they're free and happy
#Celebrities & Entertainment News
#Music & Audio
#Depression
#Parenting