STREET SOLDIERS - Motherhood in 2025

Fox 5 and Hot 97 present Street Soldiers with Lisa Evers

I'm so glad you're joining us for this episode of Street Soldiers on Mothers Today. We are celebrating all the moms and mother figures in our lives

and taking a look at how this vital role continues to evolve

From the daily labors of love to amazing achievements in the world

more and more women are redefining motherhood on their own terms. Some myths about motherhood can be challenging

like the more you work at it, the better a mom you are. Pediatrician Dr. Whitney Caceres grappled with her own urge to be a supermom

and saw so many other mothers under similar self-imposed pressures. She wanted to help, so she wrote a book called Doing It All

What do I care about the most? What do I value? What do I prioritize

And then how do I put more time, energy, and attention to those things

and then get the rest of the stuff done or say it doesn't matter at all or give it to somebody else

Nowhere is motherhood celebrated with more exuberance than on social media. Some of it is celebrity moms showing off their luxury lifestyles beyond the reach of most

But there are a lot of regular moms too. A diverse group highlighting their journey with humor

Motherhood influencer and entrepreneur Sky Landish says it makes moms feel connected

I think the coolest thing is the transparency. I love, honestly, I feel like I didn't know anything about motherhood before I started

So seeing everybody like post and share their journey and how different they are

I'm like, everybody should have somebody to relate to on Instagram. And you can pick and choose who to relate to

Young Urban Moms founder and mother of two, Mary Almonte, says motherhood isn't for every woman

And that women should be respected for the choices they make. While everyone loves adorable babies, Almonte says she finds great joy in seeing her kids growing into young adulthood

Watching my kids navigate through life now as their own individual selves

You know, like I watch them solve problems with the tools that they may not admit, but I've given them

Let's take this to our panel and see what they have to say. We have a great panel to break this all down and have an amazing discussion

Dr. Whitney Caceres, she's a pediatrician and MD and author of the book, Doing It All

stop over-functioning and become the mom and person you're meant to be. Dr. Whitney

thank you so much for joining us. Thank you for having me. Thank you so much. Also with us is

Skye Landish. She's been with us before on Street Soldiers, even going back to Circle of Sisters

Skye is a motherhood influencer. She's a mother of two and an entrepreneur. Skye

thanks so much for joining us. We appreciate it. Thank you, Lisa. Thank you. Also with us is Mary

Almonte. She's the founder of Young Urban Moms, the group and the podcast. And she's also a mother

of two and a businesswoman herself. Mary, thank you so much for being with us

It's great to be here. We really appreciate it. Mary, I'm going to start with you on this. In terms of mothers today

what do you think some of the biggest challenges are that are facing moms

I feel like it varies based on the age of your children. You know, my kids are now older. I have

a young adult, a 22-year-old and a 14-year-old. And those challenges are really unique in that

we are dealing with social media, right? And so, you know, there's a lot of pressure

that comes along with looking at everybody's highlight reel, as I always say, social media is

you know, for both girls and boys. Also pressure to fit in. There's a lot of bullying that comes

along with, you know, kind of people being hyper exposed to only the best parts of people's lives

Right. And all this girls now wear designer clothes and have access to all of these very

expensive beauty treatments that like, I don't know, back in my day, wasn't even a thought

So I think this whole keeping up with the Joneses sort of mentality is really a challenge that I'm

finding myself dealing with as a mother of kids who are teens and young adults now

Skyland, congratulations. You just had your second child, a son, five and a half months old. So

congratulations to you and Drew. Thank you. And Drewski, what are some of the challenges facing

you? Because you're still, you're working, you're doing your career, you have your daughter who's

three years old and doing all these business things too. What are you finding the biggest

challenges now that you have two? I think my challenge right now in motherhood is probably

time management because now my daughter's at an age where she's doing ballet she's doing swimming

and my son is still a baby so it's lugging them both to her you know her activities but also trying

to regain my you know self-worth and who I am and who I was before kids so I'm still in the

postpartum and stage of things I'm still in the thick of that I think I'm just trying to get back

to a baseline where I really appreciate who I am and understand who I am as a mom now of two of multiples because it all new for me I think the biggest challenge right now is allowing other people to take the reins and help me

And understanding that I have a village and utilize my village when I need to

Dr. Whitney, when you hear Mary and Skye talking, what do you think when you hear this

Yeah, absolutely. You know, no one is immune to the challenges of motherhood

I may be an expert, but I'm also a mom myself. I am a mom to an eight and a half year old and 11 and a half year old

Both are neurodivergent kids. One has autism. The other has ADHD. And so those bring their own unique challenges

I think one of the big things that we're all talking about is this idea of the attention economy

You know, there's so there's so many pulls on our attention as moms, but then also our

kids, they have so many pulls on their attention because of social media

And so really, in my mind, the trick is trying to figure out how do I prioritize the things that I value the most every single day

And that's really hard because most of us, myself included, become kind of addicted to this kind of frenzied life that we've all built, to all the social media, to all these polls and these dings and these notifications that come in every single day

And then to your point also, Lisa, about how things have been different for us as moms now in this generation compared with moms before

I don't envy the moms of the 50s who were barefoot in the kitchen and that's all they were doing

I love that I get to have a career. And I also know that society still expects me to be able to be barefoot in the kitchen and sexy for my man and an amazing mom and an amazing career woman

Like, I'm supposed to be doing it all in the world's eyes. And that's really a lot of pressure

Stay with us. We're back right after this. But if you look at social media, it's so polarized

It's very, very hard for people these days to know exactly what you do

Mary, what about in terms of authority? Because, you know, there's some people that were like, if my mom said it, I was scared

or you knew you were going to get punished. But there's a lot of changing attitudes about, you know, discipline

And how have you been handling that? Well, it's very interesting. because I think once kids get to middle school, then the whole like kids realize there's a world outside of home

Right. And outside of your parents authority. And I mean, look, you know, back back in my day

I definitely I felt like I was very harshly disciplined. Looking back, I was not

And I used to always threaten to go run and tell. But now, you know, it's a gift and a curse, I think

because some kids may actually need to have an outlet at school to go and, you know, report abuse to

But then others kind of know that that's available to them and will kind of use that to their advantage when they're getting in trouble at home

So it does get rough. I think middle school is the time when it's like kids are kind of feeling themselves and starting to realize, oh, there's like this whole world out there

And it kind of carries on through high school. And, you know, it's very interesting because they're coming into their own, but, you know, you still have to listen to your parents

So it really is a struggle. You have to really do your homework as a parent as your kids are growing up and know where they're going and who the family is

And, you know, like, I don't think being a helicopter parent is a bad thing. I think it means you care and you're trying to protect your kids from exposure to a whole lot of bad things

So, I mean, that's my personal opinion. I know that everything has a limit, but I don't think you can go wrong by trying to protect your kid as the objective

Skye, now that you have two in terms of splitting your attention, you're still very active and you're on social media and you're doing your businesses and making those kind of moves

What about the split attention thing? How do you deal with that

So right now, because we spend the majority of our time still at home, I'm able to kind of go back and forth between the kids

When it comes to my career, I usually end up doing it in the nighttime or me and my husband have a very organized calendar

But if we have a meeting, I pivot and I get a grandmother to watch the kids and we have an office

So we go to the office and we handle that. Thankfully, I have two very active grandparents in my life

So if I call them, one is retired, one is not. I can call them and, you know, use them when I need to

They're great. I think everybody I wish everybody had that. And I'm very thankful for them

So right now it's kind of just having a very organized schedule

And also when it comes to attention individually between my kids, making sure I show him my son as much attention as I was able to show my daughter

Dr. Whitney, what about the authority issue for parents? How do you see that

Yeah. So I love that we are leaning into the idea of emotion coaching our kids and teaching them to name their feelings and being in touch with how they feel

And also we have really done a disservice to parents by saying everything has to be completely gentle all the time and your kids can do what they want and never say no I mean our kids need boundaries

They need guidelines. But if you look at social media, it's so polarized

Like one account will say it should all be gentle and you're a terrible parent if you

ever tell your kid no. One will say we're ruining our kids. And so it's very, very hard for people these days to know exactly what to do

I have lots of people that come into my office and say, tell me exactly how I'm supposed to discipline or correct or guide my kids because they don't have an innate sense of self about how to do it

So I think that's the core issue is that there's so much confusion and conflicting advice that's out there right now

Sky, what about in terms of discipline, like Solar's got a tremendous personality

She's already, I mean, she's her own little social media star with her picking the music that she likes and the Solar says and all these types of things

And, you know, by that age, like three and a half, they have that personality. How do you make her feel like she's not in second place now with your son, with the little baby

I think because he's not talking yet or, you know, I include her in everything

That's number one. But when it comes to, you know, disciplining her and kind of making her aware of her actions, I think for me what works the most is a reward system

At her age, she's really, you know, set on rewards. So if we're in school or she's doing classwork and she has homework, she does her homework and then she can get a little bit of TV

Or, you know, when she's being disciplined, I feel like me and my husband, we go back and forth and we play good cop, bad cop, depending on what her ask is

Um, clearly, you know, I feel like girls gravitate towards their dad. So he's more lenient with her

than I am, but she definitely knows that I say no to certain things and she knows he'll say yes

and vice versa. So she she'll use it to her advantage. So we kind of have to text each other

on the side, like, Hey, are you okay with this? But it's a learning process. No, absolutely

The idea of rewards. I think that's such a great thing for kids, especially at young ages like that

And the thing that I always tell people is it's about separating out your emotions from your actions

All emotions are OK. You're allowed to feel however you want to feel and tell me how you feel

But you're not allowed to act not right. Like you cannot hurt other people

Certain behaviors are not OK. One of the things that we've seen, too, of course, we're talking about social media, which is a part of our lives

But there's been this whole thing about moms. a lot of images. You know, there's the mom that had the baby three weeks ago, and now she's like

oh, I have the six pack. The opposite is that, oh, look, she's really letting herself go

And it just seems to be a lot of criticism around that. Mary, tell us what's your thoughts on that

So I feel like just like I teach my kids, I think it's important for us as mothers to also remember

that everyone's journey is different and everyone's journey is their own, right? So

some people snap back after having kids. Some people have to work at it. Some people care

Some people don't. Right. Like, I mean, again, I think it really it differs greatly from where you

are in terms of motherhood. Right. Like now that my kids are older, I actually have time to work

out now. Do I enjoy it? No, but I make the time and I do it. And, you know, I think that when you

see those results, that kind of motivates you to keep going and go harder. And, you know, it really

is investing in yourself and giving back to yourself, right? Like you can, if you can find

30 minutes to like do something for your kids, which we will move heaven and earth to do

you can find 30 minutes to like walk on the Stairmaster. So I think that's, you know, I know

Sky had mentioned, you know, time management at one point. And I think that's a really important

thing. It's like self-love to like make that time for yourself. However, you cannot be comparing

yourself to other people because not everyone's life is set up the same. And I think that's what

I kind of see most moms doing. And that leads to other things, right? Depression and, you know

feeling of, of like low self-worth and worthlessness because you're seeing somebody once

again on their social media highlight reel looking snatched after having, giving birth last week

And, you know, that may not have been your experience. Sky, what about the appearance pressure? Because you're a model, you're a TV personality, always in front of the cameras. What's been your experience with that

I think before kids, I was a fitness enthusiast and I owned a fitness business

So fitness is a very heavy part of my life. And then once I got pregnant and I became a mother, my first phase postpartum journey

with my daughter was really hard because I wasn't understanding that we needed to give

ourselves grace with that. I thought I would snap back and I didn't

It took me a year just to get back to baseline you know that I was going for I wanted to be skinnier or more in shape And then I think I came to a point where I was okay with not getting back there I was a

mom now. I was a different person. I needed to understand who I am as this person, not the person

I was before a kid. Dr. Whitney, what's your take on this whole appearance, the appearance pressure

Yeah, I actually do a lot of work with kids on body confidence, and a lot of that comes from

how we are as moms as well. And we have the cards stacked against us. We don't have a lot of the

hormonal help that we need, especially after we have our babies. We're all sleep deprived. We know

that increases cortisol, which makes it so we're going to want more sugary and salty foods. We don't

have the time to be moving our bodies. So of course your body's going to look different after

you have a baby. And it's actually supposed to, right? Even though we have a lot of pressure to

make it look exactly how it looked before we had our kids. I always talk with women about this idea

of exactly what you guys are saying, accepting the body that you're in now, which is going to

have some stretch marks. It's going to have a little fupa maybe, but then also taking care of

the one body that you have. So that's where I try to encourage people to go. You know, you're going

to feel more energy. If you move your body, you're going to have more presence with your kids. If

you're not constantly drinking coffee all day long, but instead you're giving yourself lots of

good hydration, you know? So think about those two things and that's going to set you up for

more success than what do I look like today? Dr. Whitney, what about your piece of advice

that maybe you got, even though you give a lot of advice, but was there something that you got

that you want to share? The best piece of advice was when I had my first daughter in the hospital

there was a nurse who had known me for a long time, seen me take care of a lot of babies and said

I know that you know what to do, but when you don't know what to do, make sure you ask for help

because there's going to come a moment where you don't know what to do. You're completely stuck

and don't feel like you can't ask for the help that you need. And that stuck with me because

it's true. I mean, I'm supposed to be the expert. I'm supposed to be the person that knows exactly

what's going on. There's been a million moments in motherhood where I had no idea what I was doing

and I needed outside help. Oh, that's great. That's fantastic. Skye, what's been some of your greatest joys being a mom

I think my greatest joy right now is almost, you would say reliving life from the start of it, right

As a person that's living with them, but watching them live. I don't remember three years old

I don't remember four years old. So watching somebody that's four years old every day

living their life with them and like seeing those aha moments or when my daughter learns a new word

and she's like using it correctly. It's like, it's almost like I'm reliving my life again

from the start and I absolutely love it. That's like really one of my joys of motherhood

is being able to do it all over again from scratch. What about advice that you got

or that you'd like to pass on, especially going from one kid to two

I think one of the biggest things is living in the now. So like everybody tells me, you know, it goes so fast

and I think sometimes I just stop and I'm like, she wants to play with slime

I don't want her to play with slime in the house, but play with slime because I want to be living here now

I don't want to make all these rules, you know, to where we're not right now and you're enjoying yourself

So I really think it's just important to live in the moment with motherhood sometimes

and not be so focused on our rules and regulations. Mary, final word

What about the advice you got or advice you'd like to share

So my advice is kind of twofold and it might be contradictory, but first is don't feel guilty about taking care of yourself. Right. Like there's always that like saying about when you're on the plane and if anything happens, you put on your own oxygen mask first. Right. Because you can't take care of anybody else if you don't have oxygen

So I think that you kind of have to remember that. I know throughout my motherhood journey, I would always feel like crap if like I couldn't get to everything and, you know, always put myself last. And I think it really is important that you don't feel guilty when you do something that makes you happy

The other bit of advice that I wish I would have known is find your tribe, right

Like, I do feel like, yes, we all need help sometimes. And there's so much judgment and unsolicited advice that comes at us as mothers

And I think if you surround yourself with people who you know have your best interests at heart and are like-minded in the values

then I think, you know, you can't go wrong. And those will be people that will lift you up on the journey and help you figure it out

Thanks for joining us for this episode of Street Soldiers on Mothers Today

You can watch it again on our Fox 5 NY YouTube page and the Fox Local app

Remember, use your mind as your best weapon. I'm Lisa Evers. Let's push for peace, love, and justice for all