If you’ve ever felt like your mum didn’t see you…

but only controlled, criticized, or competed with you — this will explain why. 📍 She invalidates your emotions Cry? You’re “too sensitive.” Speak up? You’re “disrespectful.” You learned early your feelings were a problem, not something to be supported. So you stopped sharing them to stay safe. 📍 She competes, not celebrates Your wins made her tense, not proud. She’d one-up, minimize, or dismiss them — turning your joy into guilt. You learned to shrink to keep the peace. 📍 She controls through guilt Everything she’s ever “done for you” becomes a weapon. Set a boundary and you’re suddenly “selfish,” “ungrateful,” or “breaking the family.” That’s not love — it’s emotional blackmail. 📍 She plays the victim when confronted Try to talk about the hurt? She cries, rages, or goes silent until you apologize. She rewrites the story so you question your memory. Confusion becomes your normal. 📍 She sees you as an extension, not a person Your choices, appearance, and emotions had to make her look good. You weren’t raised to discover yourself — you were trained to please her. Step out of line, and the punishment was withdrawal, criticism, or shame.