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Captain Clapback roast the movies
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episode one. Hey yo, this movie is
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called The Final Reckoning. Let's be
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real, the only thing being reckoned is
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our patience. Ethan Hunt is still
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running full speed at 62 years old. Out
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here like the rent just hit. But you
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know, let him cook. Let them cook. You
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tuned in to the Captain Clapback show
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where your favorite films get flamed
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royal, flamethrowed, and flamed the hell
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up. Let's go. Today we are roasting
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Mission Impossible: The Final Reckoning.
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Released June 25th, directed by Chris
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Muire, starring Tom, Haley, Rebecca, and
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some poor souls just trying to collect a
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check. This is the seventh time Ethan
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Hunt has risked his life for an
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assignment that could have been email.
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And you know, worldwide, this movie hit
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million. Bow. Yep. Y'all really showed
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up for Tom Cruz versus the Cloud. Let's
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talk about the acting now. Mr. Tom Cruz,
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man, still giving 110%. But at this
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point, it ain't acting. His midlife
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crisis with a budget. Haley was cool,
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but her whole character felt like, "I
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don't know what's going on, but I'm here
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now." And Rebecca says, "You look
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tired." Like she signed a contract and
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said, "Kill me by act two, please." All
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right, I've had enough. Here come the
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plot holes. The evil AI called the
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entity, hacked everything, and somehow
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can't find Ethan's phone. So, let's be
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for real. The whole plot was like, "We
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need a key to unlock another key to stop
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a USB." Bam. It was Google Drive on boss
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level. Now, the stunts were fire, but
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some of the CGI o the train scene looked
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like it was edited on a cracked iPad.
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And the submarine intro, it gave Finding
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Nemo a freaking panic attack. Now, here
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it comes. Ethan, if you do this, you may
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never come back. Fam, he ain't been
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never coming back since Ghost Protocol.
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Ain't nobody worried. He got plot armor.
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Think of the MCU's multiverse. Let's
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talk about the OG's. Bing rims has been
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with the squad since dialup and now they
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got him sweating behind a laptop like
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it's a 1998 party. Simon just yelling in
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the head sir with no respect. Let the
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man live open a bakery and retire or
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something. Now the captain clapback
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score is three fires out of five. It's
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loud, long, and low-key confusing. But
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if you like watching Tom Cruz defy death
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while defying story structure, go ahead
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and press play. Watch it with snacks.
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Watch it with friends and a soft pillow
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cuz you going to need the rest between
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those chase scenes. That's it for this
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one y'all. Captain Capback is out. Next
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time we might roast something else Karen
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Faz or whatever Tuby throws at us. Until
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then, keep your popcorn hot and your
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expectations low. Clap back.
