Communicating your Value in Today’s World. by Colin Lake

The last piece of this equation is how do we communicate our value in today's world

And there is so much to consider, if you just take based on what we've heard to this point

depending on how long you've been a part of the event so far, and just take that like the world

that we live in, there's just so much to think about and so much to consider

And you as a leader or you as a professional or you as a person, or you as a person

parent or you as an athlete, any way you think about yourself

Like, how do you communicate your value? And it's, you know, it's vitally important as a professional and as a leader

I think most of you would all understand that. It's important for you as a salesperson

I think you get that. But like, as a person or as an athlete, like that, that seems to be like disconnected a

little bit like, why do I care about my value so much as a person? And so when we understand our value, we truly understand our value

we tend to be, and this, by the way, is it my opinion. This is what science says

We tend to be much more confident people. And that, you know, that seems to be a perfect equation

And that tends to help us improve our relationships. And by improving our relationships, helps us live longer

And so, like, think about this idea of, like, am I successfully able to communicate my value

And if I am, that means I truly understand my value. And so how do I truly understand my value

that I can communicate my values so that I can, you know, live my best life to use an overuse

expression these days on social media. So I'm going to share a few slides with you, tell you a little bit more about our organization. And I'm real excited to do all of that

So the branding, which, of course, is just communication of your value pieces is at the heart

of what we're going to talk about today. And I'll start with, like, who develop it in next

leaders is. And for most of you who are dialed in now, I know many of you through our

seven minutes of better selling podcast. I know some of you through working with us from a coaching

perspective. I know some of you through the training programs we've done and learning development

programs we've done for your organizations. And so I'm going to tell you just in a brief way of

who we are for those who don't know who we are and for those who do know, just remind you

some of the work we're doing. So developing in next leaders started back in 2015 is when we

actually opened our doors. And we opened our doors as a charity, a 501 C3

that is designed to take people who are leaving the military, people who have served this country

so bravely and are looking to make a successful entrance into the financial services industry

We believe that the next leaders should come from people who are servant leaders

For example, we believe these people should be well organized, focused, driven, and be strong

leaders, not managers of people, but leaders of people. And that was the theory back in 2015, and that has only expanded and blossomed into what we've become today

So developing next leaders has added a for-profit piece to the equation where we coach entrepreneurs and folks from all walks of life on how to communicate their value, how to brand themselves better, how to differentiate their message in a very noisy or crowded market

And so that's what we're going to talk about today. And so as we move along to the next slide, you'll see, I was involved with or have been part of two books

And so the first book on the left there is called Practice Matters. And that is exactly how advisors create efficiency in their lives

And so think about it from this way. So like there's legal advisors, people who advise other folks on, you know, give them legal advice

There's tax advisors. People give tax advice and tax planning. And then there's financial advisors, people who give, you know, overall financial planning advice

And there's lots of other advisors, you know, lots of us are offering our advice these days

And so this is a six-chapter book on exactly how people who operate like at a really, really high level, exactly how they do it

And then the second book on the right, which is the better business book, is, and this is a fun one

It takes 100 entrepreneurs and says, okay, what's your best story? What's your best idea

And how well can you tell that? and then they put us all together in a room and help us work through telling that story in the best way possible for the reader

And then it gets edited and put out in this fashion. So this Better Business Book was on the New York Times bestseller list and is a wonderful, wonderful representation of like, you know, being the best leader you can be in all parts of your life

So, you know, the business starts as this charity, moves into this coaching and training

And these books have helped bolster what we've done and with so many of the folks that we have done

and we tell these stories of like, here's one of the great lessons we've learned from this person

and there's one of the great things that this person has done that they let us share with others

to make them better, to make their lives better. And so that's what these two books are all about

So as we transition into the heart of the presentation and truly communicating your value in this world

you'll see that like the development of us as a human being has changed greatly over the last, say, 50 years or so

And specifically, the story goes is it one of the, these global alcohol distribution companies recognize that every time they were playing

German music and every time they were playing German music in the background in their

stores where people were in buying alcohol, people tended to buy more German beer

So there was music playing in the background. They never had any plans of trying to sell more German beer as a result of playing German

music. Yet every time they play German music, German beer sales increased. So they brought a consultant

in to talk about this and figure out what actually this means. And they said, well, let's do a little bit

further research. And so what they said on these off weeks, so on the first week, we'll play German

music, the second week will play French music. The third week will play German music. The next week

will play French music. And on and off they went. And what they learned was when they played German

music, German beer sales increased by over 50%. And then the next week, when they played French

music, French wine sales increased by 75%. And this went on and on over weeks and weeks and weeks

And so what they did is they were continually collecting data from the people who purchased the

German beer or purchased the French wine out in the parking lot. And they said, why did you buy

that what you bought? Why did you buy the German beer? Why did you buy the French wine? And what

people said was like eye opening or startling. Their answer was, I don't know. I just don't think

I've drank German beer in a while. Or why did you buy the French wine or why did you buy the

wine that you bought? Did price drive it? Did the label buy it? I don't know. No. I just bought

French wine. I hadn't bought French wine in a while and figured I'd give it a try. And so the point is

that everything that happens, whether we recognize it or not, makes an impression

and makes an impact on us and on the folks that we talk to every day

Everything we do every email we send every voicemail we leave it makes an impact on the people we talk to the people that we touch every day And so I wonder how often we think about that with our conversations

I wonder how often we think about that with the way that we ask the questions that we ask

And so I'll ask you, if you are actively able to listen here, is do you think that the questions you ask are indicative

of the value that you want to communicate. The questions you ask, do they truly articulate the value that you as a human being

would like to expose to the world? And so as we move to the next slide, I'm going to give you three tools to give you a really

really confident answer to that question. And so the first one comes from, it's a story from Kahneman and Tversky

And so some of you know these two folks, Amos Tversky and Danny Kahneman

They're the behavioral finance folks, and they've done wonderful research on all things, psychology and biases and why we think the way we think is human beings

But they're the ones that were one of the first people who talked about these cognitive biases

And Kahneman Tversky first identified that people in general and specifically investors are not rational thinkers

They have cognitive biases. Cognitive biases are these little mental shortcuts that we take or these mental shortcuts

that we make because we have to in order to deal with this like busy world that we all live in

So we touch things, we hear things, we see things, we smell things

And our brain says to us, that's a lot of input. And as a result of that, I have to just make decisions based on what my instincts tell me

They're called cognitive biases. If you see a salesperson walking up to you in a networking event with their business card out

you're like, uh-oh, I'm going to get sold something here. That's a cognitive bias

If you see that it's gray outside, you think, uh-oh, is it going to rain today

Our brain just make these decisions for us without us ever really recognizing it

And that has a lot to do with the conversations we have, the emails that we send, the voicemails that we leave, the presentations that we do

All of these things are impacted by these cognitive biases. So everything we say, people are making decisions

based on how we said what we said. And so what we're asking me to think about is

if everyone has these cognitive biases and they dramatically impact the way people perceive what they hear

then we have to think about how we say what we say

And if we do that effectively, if we're really carefully, is what I'm saying

and then how I'm saying what I'm saying, does it truly articulate who I want to be in this world today

If we think about that, we will be really, really effective communicators

And so I give you tool number one here. So tool number one is ask a question that you want to know the answer to

I say that you want to. You the ask brother question that you truly want to know the answer to

Because when you ask that question that you truly want to know the answer to

you'll listen a whole lot better. And when you listen a whole lot better, boy

are you communicating something different than most other people? in our world today. Lots of us ask questions. Lots of us ask questions that we think we know the answer to

so then we stop listening. In fact, like it happens on the phone a lot. Like you ask someone a question

did you see the Phillies game last night? Yeah, I saw it. It's just an instinctive response

Now, did you see the Phillies game last night? And what did you think of what happened in a third inning

that's a totally different question. And it elicits or inspires a different level of conversation

So thought number one is ask a question you want to know the answer to

If you truly want to know the answer to it, you're going to listen a lot better

which pushes us to point two. Point two says Princeton, over the last 50 plus years

have been studying the evolution of the human mind. and over the last two million years, we have developed what is the majority of our brain or the majority of our mind

And the majority of that mind, which they consider mind one, as you can see on the green there, is instinctive

It's like these cognitive biases. I see this. I think that I act that way

And so like when we ask questions that people like know the answer to or think they know the answer to, they never have to get out of their instinctive brain

Over the last 180,000 years, maybe 200,000 years, we have developed this mind 2, which is the prefrontal cortex

And mind is this strategic mind or the relational mind or the creative mind

That's where all of those things happen. I should say all of those. The very large majority of those strategic decisions, those relational decisions, those creative decisions happen in a pre-year

frontal cortex. And so our job is to number one, ask questions that we want to know the answer

to because we'll listen a lot better. For a better listener, that's communicating our value in a

different way. The second piece is when people ask us questions that we know the answer to

we simply react to them with this instinctive mind. Okay. Now, when people ask us questions that

make us think, that truly make us think, and truly make us think strategically and

relationally, we then get out of our instinctive mind and get into our relational mind

And so how do we do that? So what Develop the Next Leader says is ask a question that your client or your peer or

your colleague or your friend hasn't heard before or at least hasn't heard asked that way

in the past. And if you're able to do that, you're able to push them out of that

instinctive mind and push them into that prefrontal cortex or that relational mind

So thought one, ask a question you want to know the answer to. Thought two is asking a question that they haven't heard before

And then thought three is make sure that they want to know the answer to that question

Excuse me, make sure that they want to answer that question. If your questions have those three components to them, you will find that those conversations

are engaging, are enthralling. I've walked away from many conversations in my life and be like, that was a total waste of time

I've walked away from other conversations in my life and been like, that was an incredibly, like, constructive or beautiful conversation

I've actually said things like that in the past. I'm like, that was just awesome because the questions that were asked, we both wanted to know the answer to

We both wanted to talk about. And we were both like learning things as we were talking because the questions were asked

in a way that forced us to think. And that is the essence of excellent conversation today

That is the core of communicating your value today If you could master these three things And so I share a story with you that highlights like our ability to do these things in light of any situation

And you say, geez, Colin, that's a big statement in light of any situation. Can I really ask a question that elicits these three things

And we would say yes. And so I like to do adventure races and I like to do endurance events and different things like that

And so in 2018, I was doing a five-day endurance event up in Maine, the main adventure race

And it was from the top of Maine all the way down to like southern New Hampshire

300 plus miles, kayaking, hiking, orientering through the woods and mountain biking

had to find different checkpoints in the wilderness. It was really an amazing event

So in the morning of day three of the event, it's about 5 o'clock in the morning, 4.35 o'clock in a morning

and I wake up. And unfortunately, I wake up in the back of an ambulance

unknowing where I am. And what wakes me, what, like, jolts me is the bumps

because I'm coming down the side of a mountain in the back of this ambulance, and I'm getting poked with a needle

Someone's trying to put an IV in me. And I look over and I said

is this the first time you've ever put an IV in? I asked a question that was harsh at the time

I was scared. I didn't know who the person was. I hadn't communicated with them in the past

And I asked them a closed end of question that they didn't want to answer

And I didn't really care about the answer. The answer to the question either. I wanted to take a shot at this person

And then I said, after no response, do you know what you're doing

No response again. And all of a sudden, I recognize that I need to

to communicate my value to this person. This person needs to know that I have three children and a wife

And this person needs to know that I want to live because I thought absolutely positively worse

than I've ever felt in my life. In fact, I prayed. I prayed that this was not my last moments on this world

That's how ill I felt. And so I had that conscious thought and thank God I did

And I said to him, How do you even work in such a difficult situation with us bouncing down this mountain

me as stressed as I am, and you working in this small, confined area

I asked him a question that I wanted to know the answer to that he wanted to talk about

He wanted to say, this is really difficult. Give me a break here. I'm doing my best to try and save your life

And so I said, how? How? And when I asked him that how question, he started answering

And he started telling me, it's not the easiest thing to do

But as long as I have the patient relaxed, which you are now becoming, which is good to see, they have me strapped down

I have the patient strapped down. And we stop with these bumps

I can get the IV in there. my next question was will you share with me please the two or three situations you've been in

that are worse than this one that are worse than this one he smiled he laughed and before he ever

had a chance to answer the ivy went in my arm i figured out at that time that any time no matter

how challenging the situation how complex or confusing the the environment that we're in

If we ask these questions that get people out of their instinctive reactive mind, and we get people

using the front of their mind, we are able to truly communicate our value or you're able to

communicate your value. It wasn't long before he was asking questions. Do you have children

Tell me about your children. He knew I wasn't feeling well. Tell me about your children

He wanted to remind me of what I was sent, what I knew I needed to know, which is I needed to live

And that conversation lasted all the way until we got to the. emergency room and then ultimately the ICU and then as you know as I'm standing here he saved my life

and so the idea of us being able to communicate our value starts with the way we ask questions

and the way that people react to the questions we ask and remember it's how we ask and what we ask

and we give you those three tools make sure you want to know the answer make sure they want to talk

about the answer and make sure you're asking in a way that they haven't been asked it in the past

So as we move over to the next slide, you'll see one of the things that we as human beings have to deal with is this big challenge

Well, this slide's a little messed up there, Simon. But the point is all the same

One of the things that conspires against us is we as human beings tend to ask closed-ended questions when we most need to ask in over

open-ended question. Now, closed-ended questions aren't all bad. I know that's one of the big

one of the things that people talk about a lot is closed-ended questions are a problem. Too many people

ask closed-ended questions. Those things are true, but not when you dig deeper into them

Closed-ended questions can be effective when used at the right parts or the right points in

conversations. However, earliest points of conversation, closed-ended questions are horrible. when we're asking someone to do something, close-ended questions are way less effective

In particular, in the last two years, close-ended questions have become so much less effective

when we're asking someone to do something. And here's what I mean by that is 20 years ago, you could say to someone, are you going to

do business with me? And people reacted well to that or reacted with a better response than they do today

People do not like those hard closed-ended questions when they're being asked to take the next steps or to do something

So close-thended questions are effective at certain points of conversation, just not at the beginning of a conversation and not when we're asking them to do something

Okay, so how does that relate to what we're talking about here is we as human beings have this wiring in us that says

I'm going to ask a closed-end question at the beginning of a conversation and when I want someone to do something

Will you do this for me? That's a yes or no. Can you do this for me

That's a yes or no. At the beginning of the conversation is now a good time

Do you want me to try later? Do you work with? Are you a

So very early on in our outreach to our prospects, our outreach to our clients

when we're in a networking situation, at the earliest points and at the most complex points of conversation

are when we most need to ask open-ended questions, and it's when we as human beings are wiring, has us ask closed-ended questions

So what I'm asking to do is to think about it. So, Colin, I need to, number one, have three components to every conversation

every question I ask which number one is I have to want to know the answer Two they have to want to answer it And three as I mentioned ask it the way they haven been asked in the past

Now, I need to take that and ask it early on in a conversation. And I need to ask it when I'm openly trying to close them or ask them to take the next steps

So something like, thank you. So I'm reaching out to someone and said, are you the person I should be talking to

is thanks so much for taking a minute to talk. How best to communicate with the person who makes decisions on

How best to communicate with them? Well, cold calling is not the right answer

That's if you're cold calling. Okay, well, how else would you recommend that I do this

Then they start opening up. We've asked the question in a way that they have never answered it before

excuse me, never been asked it before and never been forced to answer it before in their lives

and we truly want to know the answer. You will listen wonderfully

They will talk and share. Early on in conversations, do your best to ask open-ended questions

Stay away from closed-ended questions. Later on in a conversation, when you're wrapping up meetings or wrapping up the conversation

ask open-end to question. How best to stay in front of you with this? How best to continue to communicate our value to you and your practice

you and your business, you and your friends, you and this group you belong to? how best to that gets people out of their instinctive and gets them into their relational brain

And if you're able to do that, you're able to so quickly communicate your value that you value

communication. You value the relationship. You value the resources you bring in the relationships

you have. And it's not the easiest thing to do, but awareness is important, number one

And once you have that awareness, now you have the tools to overcome it. You want to know the answer

they want to talk about the answer and asked in a way that maybe they haven't heard in the past

And so we'll move over to one more slide and then we'll bring this whole thing together here

We'll do these last two slides because they connect with one another. In the past, we have been able to like use other platforms to get out there and communicate our value

Like cold calling has had at its place for a long time in the sales world or the leadership world

I could call people and say, hey, I'd like you. work for us if I'm a sales leader looking for more people to work with me. If I wanted more

clients, I could call people and that used to work. I used to do seminars. You know, you get into a

room and you try and get 5,000 people to come in and tell your story. Those things aren't working

in this COVID world. And so advertising and buying books of business and, you know, all these

things used to work over the last, say, maybe 30 years. But the last two years, things have changed

And so, Simon, move to the last slide, if you would please. Things have changed

And they've changed in a way where the three tools in order to most successfully take what we learn and communicate out to the world happens in the social media world

These are the best ways for us to communicate our value, number one. Number two, through networking and number three, through getting referrals

And these things have all been mentioned, which is a wonderful way to close our session for the day

But these things have all been mentioned from Alan to Chris to Kim to Jeremy

And now you're hearing it again. Social media, networking, and building a successful referral source are the most successful

ways to build a practice. Now, the reason why I bring this up and the reason why this is a wonderful slide to wrap

up on is although these are the most success, these are the ways that people are like really

successfully communicating their value and growing their business and improving themselves. These are the three ways they're doing it

They're using these three platforms or mediums to do that. The challenge is they require little to no structure for you

If you post every once in a while, yeah, I kind of use social media. Well, you build your business through networking

How do you do that? Well, I'm always kind of like out in the community or I'm always trying to like talk to new people

I'm always trying to. If you're always trying to, there's no structure around that

I'd like to build my business through referrals. How do you do that? Well, you know, I ask people if they would send me referrals if they would

You know, there's just no structure to that. And what we're asking you to think about is if you're going to successfully communicate your value as a sales leader in today's world, as a leader of people in today's world, these three platforms are the most successful ways for you to do it

Now, our job is to take what we have learned over the four hours that we've spent together, again, depending on how much time you were able to dial in, over that period of time, take what you've learned and bring it to these three platforms and do it in a way that clearly communicates your value, the way that you take your superpower, as Alan Stein told us earlier, like, what is your true value that you bring

And then bring that to these worlds, not in the way. way where you're telling everyone how good you are, but the way that you're asking questions

about things that relate to what your clients and prospects and the folks that you're networking

with care most about. And so I'm going to wrap with this thought. My father sold cars

and he sold cars for 42 years. He was the number one salesperson for Ford voter

corporation for years and years and years globally in Pennsylvania. He had done some amazing things

He raised nine kids, put us all through private grade school and high school

And my mother never worked outside of the house. She couldn't have with nine kids. And she just, you know, the way that we grew up was just amazing

And so my father had so many wonderful lessons he taught us. And one that's lasted maybe the longest

There's just so many that I have with me still. But the one that I think will last longest is he said, my definition of hell

my definition of hell is when you die, the person you became meets the person you could have become

And so what he meant by that is if you don't do all of the things that inspire you to operate at your highest level as a leader, as a person, as a human being, if we don't do these things, then we're not truly becoming

the best selves, our best selves. We're not truly living our best life

And so, like, every day I think about, what am I doing to become the person

that is like my ideal or is my hero or is my best self

Because when I die, I want the person I become to be the person I could have became

I want them to be the same person. And that will be heaven

for me. Simon, thanks so much for running a wonderful show, and thanks to everyone for joining us

Hope to see you again next year at the Develop and the Next Leaders and C-Sharp Leadership Conference

Good selling