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Have you got a crush on someone? Have you fallen head over heels in love with them
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And are they entirely unaware of your feelings? Many of us shy away from telling the objects of our affections how we feel about them as we're not sure how to go about it
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We convince ourselves that they're figure it out on their own or that they're actually already aware but just aren't interested
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Unfortunately, this approach can mean that amazing people pass us by, being snapped up by those who are willing to be honest about their feelings
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As cliche as it may sound, life is too short and if you're always waiting for things
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to come to you rather than going out and grabbing them for yourself, you're definitely
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missing out. If you decide to take the ball by the horns and tell someone you like them
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you may well be wondering what the right way to go about it is. Hi, I'm Jessica from a conscious rethink and in this video I'll share some simple tips
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on how to make your feelings of someone crystal clear. Don't make it a big deal
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Every situation is different and there are all kinds of reasons why you might think that
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coming clean about your feelings is difficult. You might be worried about really important
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friendship. There might be exes involved. You might work together. None of these things are
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straightforward. But if you keep building it up in your head and focusing on what might go wrong
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something probably will go wrong. But if you go about it the right way and don't make a big fuss
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you'll either be able to carry on as friends or you'll get a date after it. If you build it up
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too much, you're setting yourself up for a fall. That's assuming you don't freak yourself out so
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much that you don't actually say anything. Whatever happens, the world will keep turning and your life will go on
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with or without this person in it. Decide whether to do it in person or via text
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Doing it in person or sending the message is entirely your choice, as both ways have their advantages
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If the very thought of asking them out terrifies you and face to face is a step too far Doing it by text is absolutely fine It might feel like a cop but an advantage of this approach is that they don need to respond straight away If your feelings are coming as a total surprise to them receiving a message means that they have a little time to think
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which might increase your chances of a yes. There's also a strong argument for doing it in person
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When it comes to matters of the heart, it's important to be able to read someone's reaction
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and body language, and for them to be able to read yours. Saying it to their face also means that
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you'll know one way or another what the outcome is. The truth is you probably already know deep down
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which way is best for you. Pick your moment. If you decide to text them, make sure you do so at a moment
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when you're likely to be free rather than out and about. Ask them how they are first and if the answer
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is that they are stressed or tired, leave it for another time. If you do it in person, do it when it's
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just a two of you and you're sitting or strolling somewhere quiet. A cafe or a park is ideal
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Do it as soon as possible. You may have already been. You may have already been. been crushing on this person for a long time. But if it's a new thing, do yourself a favour and say
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how you feel sooner rather than later. Doing it as soon as possible means that if they don't reciprocate
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you can do something to stem your feelings before they develop further. And if they say yes
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it means you'll be able to get on with enjoying their company. You never know what fate has got in
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store for you, so don't let precious time slip away through your fingers. Keep it to yourself
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You might be obsessing just a little, but try your best to do it inwardly. By all means, tell your
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closest friend, but avoid telling any mutual friends you have with the person in question
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Rather than just talking to anyone who will listen about how much you like the person, tell the person themselves instead
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Give yourself a confidence boost. If you're still reluctant to make your feelings clear, it might be that what you need is a little ego boost
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We're all far more critical of ourselves than we are of other people, so why not tell your
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best friends that your self is suffering a little and get them to tell you all the things that they love about you Remind yourself that you an incredible person who worthy of love regardless of whether or not this particular person is attracted to you Just ask them out on a
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first date. Unless the situation between you is complicated, there's probably no need for you to
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pour your heart out to them with any kind of romantic declaration. Laying at how you feel
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might just scare them off, especially if it's coming out of the blue for them. A date, however, is far
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less intimidating. Remember, you've been developing these feelings for a while now, but they may have
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never thought of you in that way until the moment you suggest going for a drink. If things go well
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then there's more than enough time for you to confess your love further down the line, when they might be more prepared for it, receptive to it, or even reciprocate it. At this stage
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all you need to know for them is a simple yes or no. A relaxed invitation that makes it clear
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you're asking them out on a date is all that's required. Something along the lines of do you fancy
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grabbing dinner sometime as more than friends. This is more than enough to communicate that you like them without you need them to actually
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spell it out. It also means that you can easily and casually say no and you can both move on and stay friends
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without awkwardness. Make things clear, but don't obsess over the precise words
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Ensure that the language you choose makes it clear that you aren't just asking them out for a coffee for a friendly chat
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You want to avoid them accepting your invitation under the wrong impressions. If they do misunderstand your intentions, things will get awkward when they finally
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realise that the two of you are on completely different pages. Using the word date always helps
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On the other hand, don't obsess of what you're going to say and don't try to come up with some
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fancy line. What sounds good in the movies rarely works in real life. The simpler, the better
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Give yourself a deadline. If you've been putting off asking them out for a while now and
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keep making excuses give yourself a nudge by actually setting a deadline That perfect moment you been waiting for is probably never going to present itself So you just going to have to pick your moment and go for it Whether it the end of the week the end of the month or before your birthday don allow yourself to keep wasting your time
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Give them a little space. If you've said yes and you've agreed on a date, give them a little space to digest what's happened
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By your means, send them a text to confirm up on the details of your date
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but let them process the fact that you've told them that you like them and give them a chance to get excited about your encounter
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excited about your encounter. Prepare for rejection. Whilst it's good to be optimistic
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it's also sensible to be prepared for the knockback. If you're friends with them
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make it clear that your friendship matters a lot to you and that the last thing you want to do is make things awkward
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Things may well be a little strained over the following weeks that they do say no. But if you're careful not to change the way you behave towards them
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you should both slip back into the relationship you had before. Try to make sure that you're not the one who's making things awkward
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even if you're doing it unconsciously. There are plenty more fish in the sea and many great loves that you're yet to meet
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and friendships should be treasured. Rejection is most definitely not the end of the world
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no matter how hard it can be to take so do your best to keep things in perspective
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If you are nervous or scared of revealing your feelings and want someone to walk you through things
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we recommend speaking to our experienced relationship expert to ease your concerns and help you get it right
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You'll find a link to our recommended dating service in this description below
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That's all from me today and I hope you found this video insightful and helpful. If you want to share your thoughts, please leave a comment. I'd love to hear from you
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And don't forget to like this video, subscribe to our channel and hit that bell button to get
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notifications of our latest content. Bye
